Catfish
A catfish is someone who pretends to be someone they're not using Facebook or other social media to create false identities, particularly to pursue deceptive online romances.
Might be quite a long read but I'd really appreciate it.
Here's some background: Few months ago, I met a young man on a dating website.. he was in the army, I'm nowhere near where he is based.. We cant meet as he is always training, six days a week and his two week holiday that he was meant to be given got taken away.
So about a month ago, he asked to Skype. At first, I was quite reluctant due to my shyness. I asked him to go on cam too, he said he should have one lying around somehwere and he will look 30 minutes prior to our conversation just incase I cancel. I was fixing my laptop to talk and he soon before Skyping said that he doubts he has his camera and he will probably buy a laptop. I still Skyped him, yet continued asking him to get a laptop which aggravated him. A month on, he hasnt had any time to buy a laptop, he then moved somewhere in the highlands, without a car so during his free days he cant go to buy one. I've asked him to order online, he said currys ad such cant deliver to him and he doesn't want to buy a webcam because he'd rather buy a laptop.
Two days ago, I drew the line. I read on the internet about people getting catfished and although we speak on the phone, he sends me pictures, how do I know it's him? So I drew the line and said that he needs to get a cam so I know it's him and he has to tell me where he is based now in Scotland as he always had an excuse not too. Now I understand that showed a lot of distrust from my side but I really have fallen for him, very hard and it would tear me to shreds if he isn't who he said he is. Everything went downhill when I asked.. he got very defensive which I sort of understand, because if he isn't hiding anything, I'd be pissed off too that the person I love is questioning my identity. However, if he isn't hiding anything, is there a reason to get so defensive about doing it?
He said he will get a webcam at some point but now he's not sure if we should be together due to all this.
I don't know what to think anymore.. he's questioning if he wants to be with me over all this.. I'm in two minds about it.. is he who he says he is? Is he worth it? Is it the end? I've really fallen for him, I wouldn't break up with him unless it turns out he's lied to me these past six months. Yet now because he is angry at me over this makes me question if in the future he will be close to dumping me over smaller things..
I just need some advice, was what I did really that bad? He said he under reacted about this situation, I think he over reacted.. someone please give insight?
Sorry for the long read..
Short read notes:
online dating/never met/ no webcam/ defensive when asked to get one/ questioning now if he wants to be with me
I should mention that eventhough I'm so worried about being catfished, we do talk 24/7, or atleast did. We agreed to being exclusive.
Scroll to see replies
ask him to take a picture holding up a piece of paper with your name on it 
Original post by christopher23
ask him to take a picture holding up a piece of paper with your name on it
I asked him that before I asked him to buy a webcam.. he said if he buys a webcam he wont have to take a picture because I'll see its him.. I said okay
I'm a major pushover and I let everything slide because I'm scared of losing him
Shoe on the head, accept nothing less.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Ggmu!
not sure I understand what you mean
Original post by Anonymous
not sure I understand what you mean
Pic of a shoe on his head. To confirm his identity.
Or a personal favourite, paint your nose blue.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Ggmu!
Pic of a shoe on his head. To confirm his identity.
Or a personal favourite, paint your nose blue.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Or a personal favourite, paint your nose blue.
Posted from TSR Mobile
He wouldn't do something that bizarre for me
Original post by Anonymous
He wouldn't do something that bizarre for me
If he can't prove his identity with something that requires that little movement and effort, he might be fake. Sorry. I could be totally wrong too.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Ggmu!
If he can't prove his identity with something that requires that little movement and effort, he might be fake. Sorry. I could be totally wrong too.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
If I ask now, he'll just get way angrier at me
Original post by Anonymous
He wouldn't do something that bizarre for me
then he's obviously not worth it is he?
Original post by Anonymous
If I ask now, he'll just get way angrier at me
Yeah, somebody blowing cold when you ask them to prove they are actually who they say they are really isn't a good sign. If somebody asked me to take a picture of myself with a shoe on my head or with my nose painted blue, I'd find it amusing, and I certainly wouldn't let it come between six months of speaking to somebody 24/7..
Looks like bad news on your behalf, sorry..
Fingers crossed I am wrong as you seem like a lovely person!
Original post by Jooooshy
Yeah, somebody blowing cold when you ask them to prove they are actually who they say they are really isn't a good sign. If somebody asked me to take a picture of myself with a shoe on my head or with my nose painted blue, I'd find it amusing, and I certainly wouldn't let it come between six months of speaking to somebody 24/7..
Looks like bad news on your behalf, sorry..
Fingers crossed I am wrong as you seem like a lovely person!
Looks like bad news on your behalf, sorry..
Fingers crossed I am wrong as you seem like a lovely person!
I would find it amusing too to be fair haha
I have a feeling it's going to be bad news.. just need to mentally prepare myself for it now! Thank you, you do too
Original post by Levingne
Do some Nev and Max style detecting and run a Google search on any images you may have, something might pop up! I hope it works out the best for you but don't be disheartened if it doesn't work the way you want it. Good luck.
Or facebook them
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Levingne
Do some Nev and Max style detecting and run a Google search on any images you may have, something might pop up! I hope it works out the best for you but don't be disheartened if it doesn't work the way you want it. Good luck.
The 'tineye' website is a good place to check whether photos have been borrowed from somewhere on the interweb. https://www.tineye.com/
if he liked you that much wouldnt he want to prove your accusations wrong and be like screw it, look at who i am? im shy too and when guys have asked me to go on cam i really havent wanted to, so i can understand that point of view, but again if he really likes you he wont want to lose you if he is who hes portrayed himself to be, then as you said he shouldnt have anything to be defensive about. maybe give him an ultimatum? cos if he cant prove who he is then you wont want to be with someone so deceitful anyway.
Because you've been talking with him for six months, it may be hard for you to accept that he may well be a catfish. I suggest you immediately find proof that he is who he says he is or break of all contact with him if he keeps on dishing out lame excuses.
His excuse is bs even without a camera in this age of smartphones there's no way he can't send u a picture of himself
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
If he is who he says he is, he should understand why you would have worries if you've never actually seen him outside of photos. If you really meant anything to him, as much as he might be offended that you distrust him, surely he'd be keen to prove to you that he is who he says? Seems a bit fishy to me. Definitely insist on him proving himself.
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- Am I being scammed/catfished
- Can love develop slowly from not much?
- How to verify your online dating partner?
- Why do these girls on Telegram keep on messaging me scams?
- Uni virgin
- Why do I get ghosted even after compliments?
- What is he hiding?
- Make it More Nursery Rhyme-ey !!
- My sister has purposely not been talking to me for 4 days
- Is it normal to do way worse on a dating app as a male?
- how to respond?
- Google Image Reverse Search
- What should I do?
- University of Birmingham - The School of Engineering Mathematics Aptitude Test
- my bf
- Make it More Edible Fish-ey !!
- Why am I getting told I look the same as my photos?
- What 3 albums would you take if you were going to be stuck on a desert island?
- keele vs leicester
- Catfished by 16 year old
Latest
Trending
Last reply 6 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 6 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 3 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset aboutTrending
Last reply 6 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 6 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 3 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset about
