I absolutely hate my job but I've got no motivation to look for another...

Basically, I dread going to work everyday. It's gotten to the point I even contemplate calling in sick (even though I feel slightly bad for doing so!). I've often tried to think of excuses to mention when calling up.

I realise this probably paints me out to be a non-team player and horrible worker with a shoddy ethic, but that couldn't be farther from truth.

The environment I work is fast paced, stressful, demanding and managers are constantly screaming at us.

There is a clear hierarchy within the company, as its corporate, however, socially there is a 'pecking order'. Managers are biased toward those in their group, and its very cliquey.

The store manager has a group of maybe 5-6 lower managers that gossip about the work ethics of those lower down. They are incredibly two-faced, and often intermingle with some lower down too, so its 'every man for themselves' on some days. They're all local too, so if your not from the area your an outsider.

Some of the more direct issues I've faced is; gossiping about me, even when I'm in the room. Mostly related to how 'slow I am', and condescending me and making snide remarks and jokes about not wanting to be on shift with me, feeling sorry for xyz colleague because they are working with me.

You know the sort of belligerent and belittling attitude.

Thing is, I only took up the job to pay bills- while i look for something more suitable. I'm a graduate with a degree, and many here don't like/have that. I'm not trying to sound like an ass here- it's just they moan and berate my performance, however, they are not all that bright in thinking I'm oblivious to their bullying.


I may not be the fastest worker, but I have a good level of intelligence to know that they are gossiping and I ain't an idiot.

I could and have thought about following the appropriate channels within the organisation, by going to the People Manager (HR), however, from what I've heard of others before me that did the same- it only backfires- resulting in people getting more unbearable poor treatment and going.

Everyone is mates from the top-down. :/ For what its worth, I'd rather walk away and join the dole queue- or so i feel that way. I've always told myself any job is better than none- but I dunno.

Secondly, I am looking for work and applying but somedays I'm so unmotivated and basically depressed. I wouldn't say its chronic yet. I have a history of issues, but the job is slowly grinding me down. I need to work to pay bills but can no longer stand it.

I've registered with the local doctors surgery, but I'm awaiting a new patients assessment which they've yet to confirm the date.

Short of going to the doctors and getting medication, I am unsure as to what to do. Trying to get a new job is easier said than done- I'm already doing so- what more can be done?

I should mention that to some degree I feel I'm selling myself short by been in this job. I am capable of so much more, but the problem is as much economic as it is personal struggle. I think this contributes to my own lack of self esteem and depression.