The Student Room Group

Sleeping with someones girlfriend.

I've known this girl for 1.5 years who has been in her relationship for 9 years now.
(I'm early 20s she's late 20s)
I also know her boyfriend and he's a nice guy we've shared beers and he has bought me food before and vice versa.
SIMPLY PUT: three of us + other people went out one night and after he left and after a girl i met that night left etc it got to a point where it was only her and i and she kissed me.
we kissed, snogged whatever.

went home separate ways. The next night she and i met and we finished our business and slept together.

my position:
Im a bloke who sees an attractive girl and its hard to say no but have bit of guilt because i know the boyfriend.
but, she seems to always be texting me now, more so than all the time weve been friends.
feel like she's being more savage than i am and I'm not even the one in relationship, I'm single she in her relationship so has more responsibility.

as i mentioned the only hard thing for me is knowing the boyfriend thats it any other situation where don't know the bf and she wants to do and i do then its all cool with me but this situation bit different.

sorry for rubbish grammar, I'm very articulate but can't be bothered to type because I'm typing this half heartedly and still don't know whether i should ask this on here or not, o well, here goes. lol

thoughts?

not see her again and just block and delete
see her as normal friend (with benefits or no benefits)
but if the bf ever finds out then it becomes crazy situation

damn daniel

thoughts?

Scroll to see replies

wow, bro. Talk to her about it? does she know what shes doing ? have you been intimate over than sleeping ?
Original post by Imjustaloner
wow, bro. Talk to her about it? does she know what shes doing ? have you been intimate over than sleeping ?


:nothing: read the bold bit again mate.
Sleeping together doesn't literally mean like zzzzz nap time wtf.
I didn't read the op though.
Original post by Anonymous
I've known this girl for 1.5 years who has been in her relationship for 9 years now.
(I'm early 20s she's late 20s)
I also know her boyfriend and he's a nice guy we've shared beers and he has bought me food before and vice versa.
SIMPLY PUT: three of us + other people went out one night and after he left and after a girl i met that night left etc it got to a point where it was only her and i and she kissed me.
we kissed, snogged whatever.

went home separate ways. The next night she and i met and we finished our business and slept together.

my position:
Im a bloke who sees an attractive girl and its hard to say no but have bit of guilt because i know the boyfriend.
but, she seems to always be texting me now, more so than all the time weve been friends.
feel like she's being more savage than i am and I'm not even the one in relationship, I'm single she in her relationship so has more responsibility.

as i mentioned the only hard thing for me is knowing the boyfriend thats it any other situation where don't know the bf and she wants to do and i do then its all cool with me but this situation bit different.

sorry for rubbish grammar, I'm very articulate but can't be bothered to type because I'm typing this half heartedly and still don't know whether i should ask this on here or not, o well, here goes. lol

thoughts?

not see her again and just block and delete
see her as normal friend (with benefits or no benefits)
but if the bf ever finds out then it becomes crazy situation

damn daniel

thoughts?


You have to tell him. Bro's before hoes. Put yourself in his position
Original post by 0to100
:nothing: read the bold bit again mate.
Sleeping together doesn't literally mean like zzzzz nap time wtf.
I didn't read the op though.


when I meant sleeping, I met like other than cuddling/ spooning, in my opinion I would just be friends
Reply 5
Original post by 0to100
:nothing: read the bold bit again mate.
Sleeping together doesn't literally mean like zzzzz nap time wtf.
I didn't read the op though.


LMAO, I'm dead. That made me laugh. haha :rofl2:

Yes it wasn't nap time.
You did a dumb.

You knew she had a boyfriend and you did it anyway, so I don't really understand why you're trying to shrug off the responsibility. You could have held her at arm's length and said, hang on a minute you're about to cheat on your boyfriend; we shouldn't do this. Instead you ignored it, even though you knew it would leave you in this situation.
Just because she's the one in the relationship doesn't make you innocent, you might be the single one but you've helped facilitate all the heartbreak that will most likely ensue.

"Bit" of guilt? Have some compassion. You didn't aimlessly wander into this as a bystander, you're an active and willing participant in infidelity so I suggest you figure out how you feel about that and either cut it off or continue to make it worse. My personal suggestion is you cut her off and learn from your mistake, but that's down to you. Is it likely she would have cheated with someone else had she the opportunity? Or is it because she likes you particularly? Regardless, you're going to suffer for it now because if he finds out you're in trouble and you'll lose them both as friends.

TL;TR
Distance yourself from her and stop sleeping with people in relationships, it just gets you in a mess.
Reply 7
Original post by PandaCalavera
You did a dumb.

You knew she had a boyfriend and you did it anyway, so I don't really understand why you're trying to shrug off the responsibility. You could have held her at arm's length and said, hang on a minute you're about to cheat on your boyfriend; we shouldn't do this. Instead you ignored it, even though you knew it would leave you in this situation.
Just because she's the one in the relationship doesn't make you innocent, you might be the single one but you've helped facilitate all the heartbreak that will most likely ensue.

"Bit" of guilt? Have some compassion. You didn't aimlessly wander into this as a bystander, you're an active and willing participant in infidelity so I suggest you figure out how you feel about that and either cut it off or continue to make it worse. My personal suggestion is you cut her off and learn from your mistake, but that's down to you. Is it likely she would have cheated with someone else had she the opportunity? Or is it because she likes you particularly? Regardless, you're going to suffer for it now because if he finds out you're in trouble and you'll lose them both as friends.

TL;TR
Distance yourself from her and stop sleeping with people in relationships, it just gets you in a mess.


Thanks for the advice, that's the route I'm probably going to take.
But it's easier said than done, if you ever get in that situation, you'll realise.
Original post by Imjustaloner
when I meant sleeping, I met like other than cuddling/ spooning, in my opinion I would just be friends


Ok but he obvvers means having sex. You asked f it was intimate when sleeping together means you can't get anymore intimate

Original post by Anonymous
LMAO, I'm dead. That made me laugh. haha :rofl2:

Yes it wasn't nap time.



I'm not getting notifications and **** refreshing all nite,
later kids lol
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks for the advice, that's the route I'm probably going to take.
But it's easier said than done, if you ever get in that situation, you'll realise.


I realise it's probably very easy for me to sit here and make a judgement on your situation from my position and I can appreciate that, but I don't think it's unreasonable for me to now suggest you try and learn from it and avoid it in the future. You can't change what you've done now, and I don't think you're a bad person, you just made a mistake and we do that sometimes - some bigger than others.

I genuinely wish you luck and I hope that if the lad does find out he leaves his girlfriend and you alone and ends up with someone faithful instead of causing any issues for you.
Original post by PandaCalavera
I realise it's probably very easy for me to sit here and make a judgement on your situation from my position and I can appreciate that, but I don't think it's unreasonable for me to now suggest you try and learn from it and avoid it in the future. You can't change what you've done now, and I don't think you're a bad person, you just made a mistake and we do that sometimes - some bigger than others.

I genuinely wish you luck and I hope that if the lad does find out he leaves his girlfriend and you alone and ends up with someone faithful instead of causing any issues for you.


No, I understand, of course it's learning experience like everything else.

Thanks for understanding and being empathetic about it.

So do I, I guess.
Original post by Anonymous
No, I understand, of course it's learning experience like everything else.

Thanks for understanding and being empathetic about it.

So do I, I guess.


Learning is what it's all about I think :P
Of course. If you ever need anything with a side of empathy feel free to PM me if you need to, and I'm sorry if I came across as quite harsh in my initial post.
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks for the advice, that's the route I'm probably going to take.
But it's easier said than done, if you ever get in that situation, you'll realise.


If she's proper tidy, carry on shagging her whilst going to a boxing gym so you're ready if things get a little frisky
Original post by Kieranisda1
If she's proper tidy, carry on shagging her whilst going to a boxing gym so you're ready if things get a little frisky


Haha, you're funny bro. "proper tidy" lmao
Original post by PandaCalavera
Learning is what it's all about I think :P
Of course. If you ever need anything with a side of empathy feel free to PM me if you need to, and I'm sorry if I came across as quite harsh in my initial post.


Thanks a lot man.
Original post by Kieranisda1
If she's proper tidy, carry on shagging her whilst going to a boxing gym so you're ready if things get a little frisky


*facepalm*
LMAO, :laugh::laugh:
barstard don't do it
Looks like you'll have to do a bit of ghostin from now on

Quick Reply

Latest