The Long Distance Relationship Society Advice Centre

I keep trying the uni conversation and there really is no point with it any more, its just hurting the both of us, me visably and him deep down. It is was it is and things happen for a reson, all i can hope is that the worst doesnt happen, but should it I will have the support of everyone around me. Hopefully you have alot of support too. Not many of my friends are in relationships that went to uni so im finding that quite hard but these sites are good i guess.
can I ask how long you have been together?

I don't think that's true really. Yes it happens, but it's far from certain. I have quite a few friends who have kept long distance relationships going with pre-uni partners all through Uni. Even one from Germany, been apart for Uni for 3 years so far and got engaged last summer. And Germany's a hell of a lot longer away than 2 and a half hours. In fact, 2 and a half hours is nothing :/. People commute an hour an a half+ to go to work! Every day! On top of that, people forget that Uni semesters aren't actually that long. It's not a year at Uni - it's (generally) 4 months, then a month off, then 3 months, then 4 months off. You never have to be apart more than 12 weeks at a time - and often there's a "reading week" in the middle of that (i.e. a week off ) and the whole Uni year is only 8 months. You're not spending years apart, so long as you spend the 4 months over each summer making sure things are still solid.

Anyway OP, basically your boyfriend is just feeling like he's being left behind, and a bit insecure about things. Saying things like "but I'll have work some weekends" and "we'll have to see" is almost certainly just his way of keeping some power in the situation... rather than being just the one left at home sad and alone while you're off having the time of your life. I'm not saying that's how it will be - just that that's how he might be thinking.

Neither of you are being particularly unreasonable, it's just (understandably) an emotionally charged issue. If he wasn't upset and reactive on the issue of not getting to see you often, then you wouldn't have much of a relationship. He needs to come to terms with it and make the effort to see you as much as possible if he wants it to work... but also, I think you might want to consider being a bit more reassuring. Try telling him that yes, it will be hard for both of you, but you'll work it out and he's got nothing to worry about when it comes to being left behind or forgotten. Might be more helpful than "it's happening whether you like it or not".

I feel like I'm going around in circles.

I';ve been really missing my boyfriend so much, crying and having real emotional stress. I have visited him for a few days, it was great. Now I am back home and I'm feeling down again. I miss him so much. :-( God, really can't cope with LDR.

Why weren't you allowed to go and see him on your own? That seems harsh

Where might you be looking to go to uni, and where is he? What sort of distance are you currently contending with?

its not the distance thats the problem...her course is quite heavy on the work load so what spare time she does get will be occupied by her course work