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The Long Distance Relationship Society Advice Centre

posted this in the chat thread but probably better here:
My parents and the boy are driving me down (two cars = more space yay) on Saturday. Now I'm really confused what to do when I get there - obviously I want to socialise but we're going to be tired (my parents less so, they're used to long journeys) and I won't be seeing the boy for about a month, so i'd like to spend the day with him and maybe him to stay over because I don't want him driving if he's tired.

Do you think this is completely antisocial? I wasn't going to move in until the Sun originally but rents made plans, so people will still be moving in on the Sunday. There's events on the Sat night but I wasn't planning on going to them anyway, think I'm going to go to the one on Sunday night instead.

Reply 981

yhal

Erm maybe dont stay in all day/night. Introduce yourself, chat a bit with people and maybe if theyre going for a drink or something nearby you could go?

But leave after a bit, either telling the truth that youre not gonna be able to see your boyfriend for a month or just saying youre tired etc and arent up to going out but will be going out the next night instead?

Reply 982

5697

cazamatazz

I've been down there a lot, we speak every day, and people from his halls are coming up to my party tonight.

It wasn't really a shock- to be honest I didn't think much about until one of our friends pointed it out, well done her, hahah. The girl next door to him is in a (long-distance? maybe) relationship, though. Plus he's just not into dating or girls that much- I'm the exception to the rule- and they don't honestly look much like his type. I am neither slim nor as by-the-book attractive as they are. :yep:

I'd say don't leave it entirely up to him- might lead to an unfortunate situation where you feel rejected because he hasn't called, but equally know at the same time that you haven't called him either.

Yeah, at most universities you have to sign in guests- your boyfriend should get permission from the halls staff or whatever prior to you getting there. Also at most universities you can only stay for two or three nights in a week. Check the specific regulations for your unis, though.

p.s. agreed :smile:

Hey, So when I go visit my bf its kind of going to be a bit of a suprise for him and I was planning on staying in his halls. But now after finding out about the whole signing in thing I dont know what to do. Does anyone know how I could go about that without him actually finding out?

Reply 983

Tezcatlipoca

My girlfriend and I used to alternate visiting one another every weekend in first and second years. We've stayed at each-others for over a week at a time and nobody has cared. We've never signed anyone in, it's all been fine. The staff and cleaners all knew me and that I would stay over and they never had a problem. You must have really strict unis or something.

Reply 984

cazamatazz

7

Depending on the security/staff at his halls, you can probably get away with it. It's not like they go round checking the rooms every night for guests! I'm going to sign in to be on the safe side, though, as the staff visit my boyfriend's flat a lot as they're friends with his flatmates.

Reply 985

5697

Ahhh right okay. I might just get in contact with one of the people in his flat over facebook and see if they can look in to it for me. Just looked up train fares, its gonna cost £66 :frown:

I have no money as well nooooooooooooooooooooooo lol

Reply 986

Angelil

19

Poica

Hi, I was hoping for some advice from LDRers.
Just started a relationship with a guy who is friends with one of my friends - we met at a party and there was instant chemistry, yadeyadeya. Anyway, we met up for a second time and decided we wanted to be together - but unfortunately he lives in London and goes to Uni at Nottingham (I live in Shropshire). We talk every day on MSN and text constantly, but I still feel like I'm getting to know him, even though I know all the details. It feels really weird not being entirely comfortable with him and yet already knowing anything I could talk to him about. Has anyone else started a LDR from long distance? Can it work?

Hi Poica

Yes, you can start a relationship off as long distance. Talking frequently helps :smile:

Mine started that way and 3.5 years later we now live together. We spent loads of time getting to know each other as friends though, so take things slowly :smile:

Reply 987

Tezcatlipoca

5697

Ahhh right okay. I might just get in contact with one of the people in his flat over facebook and see if they can look in to it for me. Just looked up train fares, its gonna cost £66 :frown:

I have no money as well nooooooooooooooooooooooo lol

Railcard?

Reply 988

Interrobang

20

Plus if you book in advance, you can get much cheaper tickets (e.g. £45 for me as opposed to £80)

Reply 989

5697

Yeah looked in to railcard but the 16 -25 one said you had to travel before 10 am which I cant really do since im in upper sixth so have to go to school lol. Do you know of one imparticular? Yeah have been looking for end of Octoberish on a few sites but £66 pounds was the best I could find (Newcastle to Liverpool return). Unfortunalty I am not that rich at the moment lol

Reply 990

Interrobang

20

Railcards are only supposed to be used off-peak (unless the price of the ticket is over a certain amount) - after 9.30am. Off-peak also includes weekends. On the ticket site, click 'two singles could be cheaper' and see what prices come up - if you book it at least 2 weeks in advance, it should be a lot cheaper

Reply 991

22KT22

15

The 16-25 one means you cant get a third off the minimum amount before 10am. so you should be able to travel after that time for a reduced amount.

Reply 992

22KT22

15

Ive just looked it up on the trainline.co.uk and found one with a railcard for 43 pounds (offpeak return) so buying the railcard with the ticket will be 67 pounds but you can use the railcard after. this was for 30th oct, i just picked a random date. its 51pounds for an anytime return. its 2 changes and takes about 4ish hours. also if you dont do direct service it may be even cheaper although will take longer to get there.

Reply 993

**CutiePie**

1

22KT22

Ive just looked it up on the trainline.co.uk and found one with a railcard for 43 pounds (offpeak return) so buying the railcard with the ticket will be 67 pounds but you can use the railcard after. this was for 30th oct, i just picked a random date. its 51pounds for an anytime return. its 2 changes and takes about 4ish hours. also if you dont do direct service it may be even cheaper although will take longer to get there.

A 16-25 rail card enables you to get one third off all train prices. My boy uses it to come see me.

Reply 994

22KT22

15

I know it does, i have one. but the person enquiring didnt. so the price of the ticket plus the price of the railcard (one off) would be 67pounds and obviously after buying it the ticket price will drop to 43pounds from then on.

Reply 995

Angelil

19

Not ALL rail prices - all rail prices AFTER 9.30am :wink:

Reply 996

22KT22

15

Angelil

Not ALL rail prices - all rail prices AFTER 9.30am :wink:

i think i said that earlier although maybe i said 10am. im so confused :s-smilie:

: *goes and hides*.

Reply 997

**CutiePie**

1

22KT22

I know it does, i have one. but the person enquiring didnt. so the price of the ticket plus the price of the railcard (one off) would be 67pounds and obviously after buying it the ticket price will drop to 43pounds from then on.