can sm1 mark this for me? <3

https://c4ac3f2c-da15-4759-b390-9b130640e603.filesusr.com/ugd/5188dd_8f429c60d06b4bd487d0deb94e2f4b9a.pdf is the paper btw

i did q5 n tried description n i rlyyyy want sm1 to mark it to see if i'm doing well lol (no caps on purpose)

the sun glided across the landscape reflecting its rays above the silky surface of the lake. it cast a cold, blue glow across the horizon. the surface of the lake itself was silk, smooth like it was freshly yarned. a gentle breeze carried the soft scent of fresh oxygen, mingled with the crisp mountain air. diverging from this was the hazy, botched sky. a never ending image of unfathomed experiences. a mixture of hues of soft grey and white, almost as if hope is attempting to ram through a shifting sky of almost perpetual darkness. beyond the haze could be seen large blocks of terrain. each trying to gain control of the landscape, trying to shift the attention onto her. within was evergreen trees expanding all across the horizon, giving the air its much needed clean.

within the midst of this sat a lone entity. dangling its legs above the pristine water, dipping them in occasionally only to watch as the crystal drops slip off, leaving behind a residue that glistened upon the hint of sun peeking through. left there to his thoughts, they were consumed by the sight ahead of him, it was like the mountains absorbed every thought.

maybe that’s why it is called the mountain of enigma.

+++ jus realised this is rly short but i nvr do description so idk can i still get full marks for this????

Reply 1

a------n

6

Based off how my teachers have been marking for me, content wise assuming this was longer you could get in the 22-24 bracket, however you would need to focus on various things in each paragraph: just maintain the depth.
However, your structure could significantly affect the mark, there is a poor use of punctuation and there are so many opportunities for you to use things like ellipsis and semicolons in this piece. Additionally I would suggest you start with a one sentence paragraph, I would suggest you watch the structure videos from the yt channel (Glow up your grades) , I used some of the suggestions and although they sounded corny or superfluous, my teacher said it would likely impress an examiner more.

These are all really simple fixes tbh and if all your descriptive is like this you could easily get full marks.

Reply 2

mzzz_k

OP

10

Original post by a------n

Based off how my teachers have been marking for me, content wise assuming this was longer you could get in the 22-24 bracket, however you would need to focus on various things in each paragraph: just maintain the depth.
However, your structure could significantly affect the mark, there is a poor use of punctuation and there are so many opportunities for you to use things like ellipsis and semicolons in this piece. Additionally I would suggest you start with a one sentence paragraph, I would suggest you watch the structure videos from the yt channel (Glow up your grades) , I used some of the suggestions and although they sounded corny or superfluous, my teacher said it would likely impress an examiner more.

These are all really simple fixes tbh and if all your descriptive is like this you could easily get full marks.

r u tryna say i'll get ab 22-24 marks for the amount i wrote? or my actual descriptive piece regardless of how short it is??? but thaaank u sm for ur tips!!!!!! <33333

Reply 3

a------n

6

Original post by mzzz_k

r u tryna say i'll get ab 22-24 marks for the amount i wrote? or my actual descriptive piece regardless of how short it is??? but thaaank u sm for ur tips!!!!!! <33333

No, it needs more coverage of the picture, but I mean that part of the markscheme for out of 24 but you would definitely need more content, and you would definitely get it if you carried on.
Out of 16 I cannot tell but it would definitely lean towards the lower end of the markscheme out of 16.
I hope this makes sense

can sm1 mark this for me? <3

Quick Reply

Related discussions

Latest

Trending

Trending

Articles for you