Should I take dramatically take a gap year because of my Durham college allocation?

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Reply 20

Durham Students

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Original post by Anonymous

Thanks so much for your response. I'm definitely self-aware abt how I'm feeling is really idiotic and my conceptions of mildert are entirely untrue, but I was talking to a friend I have who's a first year at trevs who had a similar experience to me. She said she totally understood what I was feeling since exam stress makes us all a little crazy and for her (as well as for me) the idyllic and perfect perception of a bailey college was something she idolised to get herself through such a difficult time, which is defo what I think I did too.

Ahhhhh. I just wish I wouldn't have idolised Chads so much to save myself of such idiotic and unnecessary sadness hahahaha, but it is what it is. I wanted a traditional, smaller college experience and I'm getting something else instead - that's fine. I think it's time I face up to reality and start embracing it, however difficult that may be lol :frown:

Also quick question because I think I remember you saying you studied law on another thread?? Are there many future PGDL students and opportunities to help them in applying for vacation schemes + training contracts applications? I saw there was a society which helped students in achieving 'commercial awareness' which looks really helpful!

Yeah I totally understand where you're coming from. It's easy to idolize something you really want, but sometimes things don't turn out the way we want them to. But tbh, I'd rather have an idolized perception of something and have it stay that way, instead of actually interacting with it and realizing that it wasn't as good as I made it out to be. So I think it'd be worse if I idolized a college, got into it and only realized after reaching there that this is not really for me. Also this might sound philosophical but being allocated to VM is probably a redirection on the right path for you- maybe it has something to offer you that Chads could never and maybe you'll realise that when you look back at this time some time from now.

Anyway on your law question, yeah there are loads of non-law students going into law. I read a post by a partner in a law firm somewhere on the law careers forum that many firms now recruit half their trainees from non-law backgrounds. I don't know how true that is but I've seen the LinkedIn profiles of loads of lawyers and almost 60% of them didn't study law. As for the support, you will have plenty of that through societies. There's a non-law into law society specifically for students who aren't studying law, so that might be something you wanna join. I know the law society offers a mentorship scheme, workshops and webinars with firms, in-person networking events, plus mock interviews with trainees and associates. And that's just from one society, there are more societies and more stuff to get involved in too.

-Himieka

(edited 11 months ago)

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Reply 21

Wombat11

Hopefully you’re adjusting to the idea of this college now.

Honestly, and meant kindly, you’re being hugely self-indulgent. It’s fine to be disappointed for a couple of days. But then you pull yourself together and work with the hand you’ve been dealt and make the best of it. We all need to learn to get some perspective on things.
Is it the case, that so far in life, you’ve pretty much got everything you wanted? At some point all of us find we haven’t got we wanted. Your Durham college allocation really isn’t a big deal thing for this to happen over, and a good one to use as a learning experience. Don’t run away and indulge yourself by re-applying. Don’t decide that with more strategic ranking you can and will get what you want….or that having exactly what you want is the be-all and end-all. Part of becoming an adult is becoming a bit more flexible and able to respond to circumstances.

If I were you, I would determine that I would firm the offer and go to whichever college I was finally allocated (who knows if you might get re-allocated anyway….remmeber if you’d got your college of choice you might have been re-allocated away from it after results) and enjoy it. That would also mean for me, stopping commenting online or in RL to other people about the terrible college allocation. As they say, give your head a wobble and move on. Don’t allow minor blips to define you and change your direction for a whole year. Ride the wave and know there are things to be gained from this whole experience. And as you make this choice with your head, it can genuinely become a heart thing too. All the best.

Reply 22

MumofAleveller

Original post by Anonymous #1

Yes. I know this sounds incredibly dramatic, entitled, idiotic, etc. But I've genuinely lost all my interest in going to Durham after the college allocation process. I know that it's only for the first year, and I know I'll meet people elsewhere, but I was so unbelievably interested in the collegiate system and being part of my college community, only for that all to dissipate after being allocated to Van Mildert.
I'm SURE it's a great college - do not misunderstand me - it's just not what I was looking for. I was really hoping to live on the Bailey since it seemed like an amazing opportunity since I obviously wouldn't get the chance to live there for my other years of uni, and I loved the idea of living so centrally. Joining a collegiate chapel choir, gowned formals, and living in such a nice looking college were all things I've idolised and I just really feel apprehensive about attending any other college, especially Mildert.
I just don't know how much I'd enjoy durham being 20 minutes away from my subject department (instead of only a 5 minute walk at Chad's - which was also a 4 minute walk from Waterstones), and not having access to all the opportunities offered at Chad's.
I know putting my entire life on hold for a year for the CHANCE to get another college is an idiotic thing to do (I probably won't, especially as it's likely the same thing would happen again) but I'm just so against the idea of attending Mildert over Chad's. The facilities are nicer at Chad's, they have gowned formals, they have a chapel choir, they're way closer to my subject department, it's a way nicer looking college, people more similar to me, etc etc.
I guess what I'm trying to say is - can someone convince me this isn't actually the end of my life...