'Stop saying I have a boyfriend'
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Bloody feminists
She's sort of jumped to the conclusion that telling a man she's not interested wouldn't lead to him backing away.
If I was trying it on with a girl and she said "I'm not interested", I'd say fair enough.
The problem with the article isn't really the content or the aim, it's the picture she's painted about males all being pests.
I take great offence at that (actually I don't but for argument's sake let's say I do (I have more time and other problems to worry about)).
If I was trying it on with a girl and she said "I'm not interested", I'd say fair enough.
The problem with the article isn't really the content or the aim, it's the picture she's painted about males all being pests.
I take great offence at that (actually I don't but for argument's sake let's say I do (I have more time and other problems to worry about)).
I'll admit to having not read the article, but I've come across this a fair bit.
Personally, I prefer not to use "I have a boyfriend" (even though I do) as my first excuse, because regardless of gender, I think people should respect others' right to not be interested in them, whether romantically or sexually.
That said, if the person persuing me still won't leave or stop trying, I'll bring that line out because it tends to be more effective. Apparently for some men "I'm not interested" and "I'm not looking for anyone" aren't as important as having been claimed by another male.
EDIT: ^ Would like to point out that I'm speaking from countless experiences there, not just assuming.
Personally, I prefer not to use "I have a boyfriend" (even though I do) as my first excuse, because regardless of gender, I think people should respect others' right to not be interested in them, whether romantically or sexually.
That said, if the person persuing me still won't leave or stop trying, I'll bring that line out because it tends to be more effective. Apparently for some men "I'm not interested" and "I'm not looking for anyone" aren't as important as having been claimed by another male.
EDIT: ^ Would like to point out that I'm speaking from countless experiences there, not just assuming.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Aivicore
I'll admit to having not read the article, but I've come across this a fair bit.
Personally, I prefer not to use "I have a boyfriend" (even though I do) as my first excuse, because regardless of gender, I think people should respect others' right to not be interested in them, whether romantically or sexually.
That said, if the person persuing me still won't leave or stop trying, I'll bring that line out because it tends to be more effective. Apparently for some men "I'm not interested" and "I'm not looking for anyone" aren't as important as having been claimed by another male.
EDIT: ^ Would like to point out that I'm speaking from countless experiences there, not just assuming.
Personally, I prefer not to use "I have a boyfriend" (even though I do) as my first excuse, because regardless of gender, I think people should respect others' right to not be interested in them, whether romantically or sexually.
That said, if the person persuing me still won't leave or stop trying, I'll bring that line out because it tends to be more effective. Apparently for some men "I'm not interested" and "I'm not looking for anyone" aren't as important as having been claimed by another male.
EDIT: ^ Would like to point out that I'm speaking from countless experiences there, not just assuming.
It's nothing to do with being claimed by another male but to do with the fact that since you're in a relationship, there's no chance that you'd be able to go out with them (unless it's an open relationship or you're a cheater) so they back off.
The same happens when a man tells a woman that they have a girlfriend. Or are men claimed by their girlfriends too?
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Steezy
She's sort of jumped to the conclusion that telling a man she's not interested wouldn't lead to him backing away.
If I was trying it on with a girl and she said "I'm not interested", I'd say fair enough.
The problem with the article isn't really the content or the aim, it's the picture she's painted about males all being pests.
I take great offence at that (actually I don't but for argument's sake let's say I do (I have more time and other problems to worry about)).
If I was trying it on with a girl and she said "I'm not interested", I'd say fair enough.
The problem with the article isn't really the content or the aim, it's the picture she's painted about males all being pests.
I take great offence at that (actually I don't but for argument's sake let's say I do (I have more time and other problems to worry about)).
This article does not paint all males as being pests, but it does criticise those males who will not leave a girl alone once she had said she simply isn't interested, and will only take the 'I have a boyfriend' excuse. Even then, I've seen guys who take that statement as a challenge and continue to try and kiss a girl.
That's great for you that you would show someone repect if they weren't interested, but this isn't a competition, its simply addressing an issue.
This isn't the case purely for guys hitting on girls...
I agree that the easiest way is to say "I have a partner" but this isn't caused by some underlying sexism, it's just something that happens...
I've seen/experienced a girl not leaving a guy alone before and yes, surprise surprise, the easiest and most effective way of getting rid of them is saying "I have a girlfriend".
I agree that the easiest way is to say "I have a partner" but this isn't caused by some underlying sexism, it's just something that happens...
I've seen/experienced a girl not leaving a guy alone before and yes, surprise surprise, the easiest and most effective way of getting rid of them is saying "I have a girlfriend".
Original post by NothingToSeeHere
It's nothing to do with being claimed by another male but to do with the fact that since you're in a relationship, there's no chance that you'd be able to go out with them (unless it's an open relationship or you're a cheater) so they back off.
The same happens when a man tells a woman that they have a girlfriend. Or are men claimed by their girlfriends too?
Posted from TSR Mobile
The same happens when a man tells a woman that they have a girlfriend. Or are men claimed by their girlfriends too?
Posted from TSR Mobile
Some men have ignored me when I told them I had a girlfriend. Literally last week I had some creeper outside the supermarket continue to hit on me despite me saying I'd been with a girl for three years. Never had the same problem when I said it was a guy, but hey ho, that's just my experiences...
You ignored the part of my post where I said "regardless of gender", anyway. So once again: Regardless of gender, the problem is in people feeling entitled or like someone should be reciprocating their flirting just because they're single.
Original post by Meyrin
You sound delightful.
Thank you, if someone cheats then there's something wrong with their relationship
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Aivicore
Some men have ignored me when I told them I had a girlfriend. Literally last week I had some creeper outside the supermarket continue to hit on me despite me saying I'd been with a girl for three years. Never had the same problem when I said it was a guy, but hey ho, that's just my experiences...
You ignored the part of my post where I said "regardless of gender", anyway. So once again: Regardless of gender, the problem is in people feeling entitled or like someone should be reciprocating their flirting just because they're single.
You ignored the part of my post where I said "regardless of gender", anyway. So once again: Regardless of gender, the problem is in people feeling entitled or like someone should be reciprocating their flirting just because they're single.
No i only had the issue with when you said that the person hitting on you only stops because they assume you're a posession of your boyfriend which i thought made no sense since we're not in the 1920's.
Posted from TSR Mobile
why don't you just walk away
Original post by NothingToSeeHere
No i only had the issue with when you said that the person hitting on you only stops because they assume you're a posession of your boyfriend which i thought made no sense since we're not in the 1920's.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
Attack straw men all you want, but that's not what I said or meant. I said "claimed" by a boyfriend, by which I meant "being in an agreed monogamous relationship with" not literally owning.
It's a shame that people can't respect the wants of the individual (e.g. a person telling them they're not interested) as much as they can respect the desires of a person who isn't even present.
(edited 9 years ago)
****ing women love to complain
Original post by Wade-
Just read this article http://www.eberhardtsmith.com/stop-saying-i-have-a-boyfriend and I'm actually amazed, the lengths that feminists will go to to claim some sort of sexism against them is amazing
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
I actually really enjoyed this blog post. I had never thought about it like that before but I will definitely be employing these tactics in future
The amount of times you have to get someone to pretend to be your partner just to get rid of someone on nights out is ridiculous.
I don't really see what the big deal is. Saying "I have a boyfriend" (whether you really do or don't) seems like a perfectly reasonable thing to do. It successfully gets someone to stop making advances towards you, and it's unlikely that they'll take it personally. Everybody wins.
Some women might feel that getting away from the situation like this is unsatisfactory, because they consider it their personal responsibility to educate this man about respecting a woman's right to simply not be interested. But the problem is, just saying "I'm not interested" and expecting to be left alone after that does not educate the man about respecting your right - rather, it assumes that he already does (which may be a naive assumption in some cases).
Of course, I'd expect that "I'm not interested" will still work, most of the time. But in situations when a little extra is needed, there's no harm in using the boyfriend excuse. Ultimately the woman's priority is to be safely left alone.
Some women might feel that getting away from the situation like this is unsatisfactory, because they consider it their personal responsibility to educate this man about respecting a woman's right to simply not be interested. But the problem is, just saying "I'm not interested" and expecting to be left alone after that does not educate the man about respecting your right - rather, it assumes that he already does (which may be a naive assumption in some cases).
Of course, I'd expect that "I'm not interested" will still work, most of the time. But in situations when a little extra is needed, there's no harm in using the boyfriend excuse. Ultimately the woman's priority is to be safely left alone.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Aivicore
I'll admit to having not read the article, but I've come across this a fair bit.
Personally, I prefer not to use "I have a boyfriend" (even though I do) as my first excuse, because regardless of gender, I think people should respect others' right to not be interested in them, whether romantically or sexually.
That said, if the person persuing me still won't leave or stop trying, I'll bring that line out because it tends to be more effective. Apparently for some men "I'm not interested" and "I'm not looking for anyone" aren't as important as having been claimed by another male.
EDIT: ^ Would like to point out that I'm speaking from countless experiences there, not just assuming.
Personally, I prefer not to use "I have a boyfriend" (even though I do) as my first excuse, because regardless of gender, I think people should respect others' right to not be interested in them, whether romantically or sexually.
That said, if the person persuing me still won't leave or stop trying, I'll bring that line out because it tends to be more effective. Apparently for some men "I'm not interested" and "I'm not looking for anyone" aren't as important as having been claimed by another male.
EDIT: ^ Would like to point out that I'm speaking from countless experiences there, not just assuming.
Totally agree with this
literally ended up kissing a gay friend once to prove to a guy he was my boyfriend once as he was that persistent.
Original post by Aivicore
Attack straw men all you want, but that's not what I said or meant. I said "claimed" by a boyfriend, by which I meant "being in an agreed monogamous relationship with" not literally owning.
It's a shame that people can't respect the wants of the individual (e.g. a person telling them they're not interested) as much as they can respect the desires of a person who isn't even present.
It's a shame that people can't respect the wants of the individual (e.g. a person telling them they're not interested) as much as they can respect the desires of a person who isn't even present.
Well then don't use the word 'claimed' then. It simply looks you're just trying to garner response by using that word. Claimed makes it sound like we are animals that have been bought in the wild when that wasn't your original intention.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Shame in this society people need to make up excuses to get away from sexual predators, and then feel the need to justify why.
I kinda agree and disagree...
Saying "I have a boyfriend" doesn't always work because of the male privilege quote mentioned, but to be realistic, some men do think that way. She was being very black and white with that.
The part that I agree with is: the idea that a woman should only be left alone if she is "taken" (and how it's reflective of the lack of respect) ... is it so bloody unbelievable that someone wouldn't be interested in them or something?!
"I'm not interested" should work just as well as "I have a boyfriend".
Saying "I have a boyfriend" doesn't always work because of the male privilege quote mentioned, but to be realistic, some men do think that way. She was being very black and white with that.
The part that I agree with is: the idea that a woman should only be left alone if she is "taken" (and how it's reflective of the lack of respect) ... is it so bloody unbelievable that someone wouldn't be interested in them or something?!
"I'm not interested" should work just as well as "I have a boyfriend".
Personally "I'm not interested" or "I have a boyfriend" works on me immediately. In fact if I'm not getting the vibe that the woman likes me back, I tend to end the conversation myself and save her the bother. Mind you, I'm not exactly the most confident lothario in the universe, I might have in fact shot myself in the foot a few times when I think about it..... damn!
I have never thought about it that way. It's just an easy answer rather than going into a debate about female rights. I'm clearly a rubbish girl as I go on nights out to have fun not to educate creepy men.
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