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Gay actions repulse me-am I homophobic?
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Based on the title, you're not a homophobe. You're a normal reasonable person entitled to your personal opinion.
*reads OP* Well...I wouldn't say you're exactly normal...but still. You're entitled to your opinion.
*reads OP* Well...I wouldn't say you're exactly normal...but still. You're entitled to your opinion.
Original post by jake2095858394
From a young age I remember when I was first introduced to the idea of being gay. I was like 5 or 6 and at my cousin's house and I heard them calling each other the word. I asked them what it meant and when they explained what it was I was immediately disgusted by it. I don't have anything against gay people and I'm in favour of things like gay marriage because I think it's a free country, but the idea of two men or two women getting it on makes me so uncomfortable I do my best to avoid thinking about it. The other day I was on the tube and two men had a kiss and I looked away, my friend noticed and asked me after if I was a homophobe. Am I homophobic? I really don't want to be. If this does make me homophobic, how can I condition myself to not be disgusted by the thought of homosexual actions?
This is largely irrelevant so long as it does not compel you to treat people differently on the basis of their sexuality. Your first instincts about something are not under your control and do not say anything meaningful about your character; it is how your conscious mind responds that is important. Since you do not like the fact that you instinctively react this way, and since you support LGBT rights, it is clear that you are not homophobic.
Original post by 0zzu
You're trying to use semantics in your favour, but it's not working. There is a clear difference between being disgusted by homosexual activity, and homosexual people.
I have homosexual friends who I've stood up for when real homophobes were being *******s to them. I have had debates with my father about gay rights, the conversation came up when this was in the news:
http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2017/05/03/despite-court-ruling-christian-bakery-still-wont-bake-a-gay-engagement-cake/
(And yes, I was arguing in favour of the gay couple.)
Homophobia is one of the few things that does make me angry. I will always defend LGBT rights, equality of the sexes and races etc. So don't you dare make assumptions about who or what I am.
I don't choose what I find sexually attractive/repulsive. I am a straight guy. If I saw two gay men kissing, I don't think I'd be very repulsed, but I still wouldn't want to look. Why? Because I am not a gay man. But if I just saw one of those men just out and about, I wouldn't care any more than I would about a straight man just out and about. If they were holding hands (something that is not at all sexual) I wouldn't care one bit. It would be the same if I saw a very unattractive heterosexual couple kissing. I wouldn't treat them any differently, I just wouldn't like to imagine having sex with them.
I think you're the one who's bigoted here.
I have homosexual friends who I've stood up for when real homophobes were being *******s to them. I have had debates with my father about gay rights, the conversation came up when this was in the news:
http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2017/05/03/despite-court-ruling-christian-bakery-still-wont-bake-a-gay-engagement-cake/
(And yes, I was arguing in favour of the gay couple.)
Homophobia is one of the few things that does make me angry. I will always defend LGBT rights, equality of the sexes and races etc. So don't you dare make assumptions about who or what I am.
I don't choose what I find sexually attractive/repulsive. I am a straight guy. If I saw two gay men kissing, I don't think I'd be very repulsed, but I still wouldn't want to look. Why? Because I am not a gay man. But if I just saw one of those men just out and about, I wouldn't care any more than I would about a straight man just out and about. If they were holding hands (something that is not at all sexual) I wouldn't care one bit. It would be the same if I saw a very unattractive heterosexual couple kissing. I wouldn't treat them any differently, I just wouldn't like to imagine having sex with them.
I think you're the one who's bigoted here.
Prsom
Original post by jake2095858394
From a young age I remember when I was first introduced to the idea of being gay. I was like 5 or 6 and at my cousin's house and I heard them calling each other the word. I asked them what it meant and when they explained what it was I was immediately disgusted by it. I don't have anything against gay people and I'm in favour of things like gay marriage because I think it's a free country, but the idea of two men or two women getting it on makes me so uncomfortable I do my best to avoid thinking about it. The other day I was on the tube and two men had a kiss and I looked away, my friend noticed and asked me after if I was a homophobe. Am I homophobic? I really don't want to be. If this does make me homophobic, how can I condition myself to not be disgusted by the thought of homosexual actions?
No, you are not homophobic.
You are not the only one. I know of many pro-homosexuals and are the biggest advocates of homosexual rights who at the same time are repulsed by the sight of homosexual intimacy.
They don't hate homosexuals or want to to restrict their rights. They just naturally cannot accustom themselves to the sight of its intimacy.
Original post by artful_lounger
Once again, I'm a gay man who actually has to deal with this every waking moment of my life, and not an ignorant GCSE student who thinks they're hot ****.
So here's a recommendation: when a persecuted minority indicates something you're doing is bad and wants you to stop doing it, listen to them instead of being the stereotypical white male republican-esque ******* that just assumes you know better, particularly when you're like 12 and have no life experience.
If you're not gay, you don't get to decide what's homophobic.
So here's a recommendation: when a persecuted minority indicates something you're doing is bad and wants you to stop doing it, listen to them instead of being the stereotypical white male republican-esque ******* that just assumes you know better, particularly when you're like 12 and have no life experience.
If you're not gay, you don't get to decide what's homophobic.
It sounds as though you're victimizing yourself way more than you actually are. Someone needs to get a grip.
Also with that condescending tone, how do you expect others to take on board what you're saying? You sound like a real cry baby
Original post by jake2095858394
From a young age I remember when I was first introduced to the idea of being gay. I was like 5 or 6 and at my cousin's house and I heard them calling each other the word. I asked them what it meant and when they explained what it was I was immediately disgusted by it. I don't have anything against gay people and I'm in favour of things like gay marriage because I think it's a free country, but the idea of two men or two women getting it on makes me so uncomfortable I do my best to avoid thinking about it. The other day I was on the tube and two men had a kiss and I looked away, my friend noticed and asked me after if I was a homophobe. Am I homophobic? I really don't want to be. If this does make me homophobic, how can I condition myself to not be disgusted by the thought of homosexual actions?
I think it's ingrained homophobia. You don't see it very often, so you're gonna feel a tad bit uncomfortable seeing things you're not used to seeing.
I think the more you see it in media (i.e. sitcoms) and real life, the more you get used to it.
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by Dheorl
I've had plenty of gay friends in the past who have the reaction to heterosexual sex of "OMG! I can't believe you'd want to put you're penis in that soggy wet thing" or the equivalent from females of "OMG! You let guys put their penis inside your vagina? You do know that's where pee comes from right?".
So does that make these people "heterophobic" as the idea of heterosexual sex disgusts them?
So does that make these people "heterophobic" as the idea of heterosexual sex disgusts them?
They're just immature to be honest. How can anyone be that disgusted at heterosexual sex, come on now.
The funny thing is we don't generally hear gay people saying they are "repulsed" and "disgusted" by heterosexual sex, which surely if heterosexual people feel that way about gay sex then gay people should feel that way about heterosexual sex - so yes it is homophobic.
Original post by Loopy91
They're just immature to be honest. How can anyone be that disgusted at heterosexual sex, come on now.
I guess in the same way some guys don't want to stick their **** somewhere that **** comes out of, some girls don't want something that pee comes out of stuck inside them.
I dunno, ask them I guess, I'm just wondering if by the quoted persons standards they were heterophobic.
As for the OP. In the most technical definition of the word, you are to a degree homophobic. On the other hand, by the day to day definition used by the majority of society, no, you're not homophobic.
It's sort of like everyone using decimate in the wrong way. By the original latin roots, no-one uses it right, but it's common meaning these days isn't the same.
It's sort of like everyone using decimate in the wrong way. By the original latin roots, no-one uses it right, but it's common meaning these days isn't the same.
Original post by AnthonyC2001
Hi, you sound alot like the bible, all for equality, for everyone but picking and choosing, I would say you are homophobic, but not in an attacking manor, just because it makes you uncomfortable.
would you be uncomfortable if you saw a nice married couple of 20 years kiss on the tube? I didn't think so, so why is it any different with 2 guys, or 2 girls, and as for clearing your homophobia, if I was to comment on that, id be as bad as those bible bashers who tell me to pray my gay away😂😂, but really just be a nice person to everyone regardless of their sexuality and treat them all equal, you seem like a nice person.
would you be uncomfortable if you saw a nice married couple of 20 years kiss on the tube? I didn't think so, so why is it any different with 2 guys, or 2 girls, and as for clearing your homophobia, if I was to comment on that, id be as bad as those bible bashers who tell me to pray my gay away😂😂, but really just be a nice person to everyone regardless of their sexuality and treat them all equal, you seem like a nice person.
If I saw two people that I know are a brother and sister kissing each other, I would be repulsed.
Does that make me sibliphobic?
Original post by artful_lounger
Once again, I'm a gay man who actually has to deal with this every waking moment of my life, and not an ignorant GCSE student who thinks they're hot ****.
So here's a recommendation: when a persecuted minority indicates something you're doing is bad and wants you to stop doing it, listen to them instead of being the stereotypical white male republican-esque ******* that just assumes you know better, particularly when you're like 12 and have no life experience.
If you're not gay, you don't get to decide what's homophobic.
So here's a recommendation: when a persecuted minority indicates something you're doing is bad and wants you to stop doing it, listen to them instead of being the stereotypical white male republican-esque ******* that just assumes you know better, particularly when you're like 12 and have no life experience.
If you're not gay, you don't get to decide what's homophobic.
I don't think it's necessarily valid to describe yourself as a "persecuted minority" any more. Aside from the odd incident, nobody cares about homosexuality any more. If you're having to "deal with this every waking moment" of your life, it's likely because you're going around dressed like a unicorn with one of those affected high-pitched girly voices.
OP isn't doing something bad. They have a feelilng that they can't help. You, as the poor little gay boy, have no more right to tell him to suppress those instinctive feelings than he does to tell you to suppress your male-focused sexual desires.
And you, even as a gay man, have no more right to choose the definition of a word like "homophobic" than anyone else. There is no "true" definition of homophobia that refers to people wanting to be sick when they see public displays of affection (which are often all-too public); homophobia has one definition, as a specific type of xenophobia. If you don't like that, your problem isn't with straight people, it's with the English language.
Original post by jake2095858394
From a young age I remember when I was first introduced to the idea of being gay. I was like 5 or 6 and at my cousin's house and I heard them calling each other the word. I asked them what it meant and when they explained what it was I was immediately disgusted by it. I don't have anything against gay people and I'm in favour of things like gay marriage because I think it's a free country, but the idea of two men or two women getting it on makes me so uncomfortable I do my best to avoid thinking about it. The other day I was on the tube and two men had a kiss and I looked away, my friend noticed and asked me after if I was a homophobe. Am I homophobic? I really don't want to be. If this does make me homophobic, how can I condition myself to not be disgusted by the thought of homosexual actions?
It's not like you're going up to people and giving them a hard time, and I wouldn't say you really owe it to anyone to condition yourself or desensitize yourself, or anything like that.
Original post by jake2095858394
I really don't want to be homophobic. I didn't realise I had so much internalised homophobia in me. I was always supportive of LGBT rights. I'll try my best to suppress my feelings of disgust.
Original post by Dheorl
I've had plenty of gay friends in the past who have the reaction to heterosexual sex of "OMG! I can't believe you'd want to put you're penis in that soggy wet thing" or the equivalent from females of "OMG! You let guys put their penis inside your vagina? You do know that's where pee comes from right?".
So does that make these people "heterophobic" as the idea of heterosexual sex disgusts them?
So does that make these people "heterophobic" as the idea of heterosexual sex disgusts them?
Original post by zhog
Look, homosexuals often find our practices repulsive too. If you're happy with living and letting live there is nothing to worry about, never mind all the social labelling.
I'm cool about lesbianism but watching two blokes at it does nothing for my day, God knows what tag goes with that and who cares?
I'm cool about lesbianism but watching two blokes at it does nothing for my day, God knows what tag goes with that and who cares?
Original post by jake2095858394
From a young age I remember when I was first introduced to the idea of being gay. I was like 5 or 6 and at my cousin's house and I heard them calling each other the word. I asked them what it meant and when they explained what it was I was immediately disgusted by it. I don't have anything against gay people and I'm in favour of things like gay marriage because I think it's a free country, but the idea of two men or two women getting it on makes me so uncomfortable I do my best to avoid thinking about it. The other day I was on the tube and two men had a kiss and I looked away, my friend noticed and asked me after if I was a homophobe. Am I homophobic? I really don't want to be. If this does make me homophobic, how can I condition myself to not be disgusted by the thought of homosexual actions?
I don't think you're homophobic, you're allowed to feel uncomfortable with certain things. It's not like you're actively being hateful or discriminating.
As someone who isn't straight himself, I wouldn't call you homophobic, no. Being disgusted by an action does not mean you are afraid of that action, it just means you don't find it aesthetically pleasing. No-one's going around calling people who don't like onion "onionphobic" and for quite a good reason.
I don't particularly like seeing anyone snog in public, regardless of the sex(uality) of the people involved. That doesn't make me any kind -phobic, it's just not something I like.
The fact that you don't have anything against them and want them to have the same rights as heterosexual people shows that you're clearly not homophobic. I wouldn't worry too much about this at all
I'd be wary of other replies, because there are so many extreme left nutters on this forum if they see anyone whose behaviour doesn't fit in with their way of 'how things should work' then they're scream that you're X-phobic from the rooftops. Everyone in this thread saying you're homophobic is very misguided and doesn't seem to understand how aesthetic attraction works.
--
And to add to those who think that gay people can't be repulsed by heterosexual sex; yes, they most certainly can. I have been in convos with many non-straight men who think heterosexual sex repulsing because they don't find a vagina aesthetically or sexually attractive. So I have no idea why some of you think gay people aren't ever disgusted by heterosexual behaviour...
I don't particularly like seeing anyone snog in public, regardless of the sex(uality) of the people involved. That doesn't make me any kind -phobic, it's just not something I like.
The fact that you don't have anything against them and want them to have the same rights as heterosexual people shows that you're clearly not homophobic. I wouldn't worry too much about this at all
I'd be wary of other replies, because there are so many extreme left nutters on this forum if they see anyone whose behaviour doesn't fit in with their way of 'how things should work' then they're scream that you're X-phobic from the rooftops. Everyone in this thread saying you're homophobic is very misguided and doesn't seem to understand how aesthetic attraction works.
--
And to add to those who think that gay people can't be repulsed by heterosexual sex; yes, they most certainly can. I have been in convos with many non-straight men who think heterosexual sex repulsing because they don't find a vagina aesthetically or sexually attractive. So I have no idea why some of you think gay people aren't ever disgusted by heterosexual behaviour...
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by Tootles
Do they? I've had some very open conversations with a lot of people, including gays, and none of them have claimed to find man/woman sex repulsive.
Do they? I've had some very open conversations with a lot of people, including gays, and none of them have claimed to find man/woman sex repulsive.
Well, i know lots of heteros who find nothing repulsive about gay sex or take it to such analytical levels either but what I meant was:
A gay bloke must feel as 'attracted' or 'repulsed' by the prospect of giving oral sex to a woman as I would at giving a man a blow job.
If you don't try to deny rights or call people names, then I don't care. The thought of two morbidly obese people having sex repulses me, as does the thought of two 80 year olds. I have nothing against those people generally.
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by artful_lounger
Once again, I'm a gay man who actually has to deal with this every waking moment of my life, and not an ignorant GCSE student who thinks they're hot ****.
So here's a recommendation: when a persecuted minority indicates something you're doing is bad and wants you to stop doing it, listen to them instead of being the stereotypical white male republican-esque ******* that just assumes you know better, particularly when you're like 12 and have no life experience.
If you're not gay, you don't get to decide what's homophobic.
So here's a recommendation: when a persecuted minority indicates something you're doing is bad and wants you to stop doing it, listen to them instead of being the stereotypical white male republican-esque ******* that just assumes you know better, particularly when you're like 12 and have no life experience.
If you're not gay, you don't get to decide what's homophobic.
It's just wonderful that you magically represent all gay people. Were you born under a certain star or was there a vote of some kind?
Original post by YaliaV
If you don't try to deny rights or call people names, then I don't care. The thought of two morbidly obese people having sex repulses me, as does the thought of two 80 year olds. I have nothing against those people generally.
However, the word 'repulse' carries a heavy tone and that makes one's position as 'indifferent' harder to justify. I wouldn't care to watch any of those and that is the only situation where i might feel opinionated about anything. Do you get such thoughts often?
Original post by jake2095858394
From a young age I remember when I was first introduced to the idea of being gay. I was like 5 or 6 and at my cousin's house and I heard them calling each other the word. I asked them what it meant and when they explained what it was I was immediately disgusted by it. I don't have anything against gay people and I'm in favour of things like gay marriage because I think it's a free country, but the idea of two men or two women getting it on makes me so uncomfortable I do my best to avoid thinking about it. The other day I was on the tube and two men had a kiss and I looked away, my friend noticed and asked me after if I was a homophobe. Am I homophobic? I really don't want to be. If this does make me homophobic, how can I condition myself to not be disgusted by the thought of homosexual actions?
As long as it's just the act you dislike and you don't dislike the people for it it's fine.
You seem to have a respect for homosexuality and just find it uncomfortable yourself.
Obviously it would be nice if you didn't feel uncomfortable with it (mostly for your sake), but some people find some things gross and there's not much you can do about that.
Some people find making out gross, doesn't mean they hate everybody who does. Some people find dogs annoying, doesn't mean they hate dog owners. Same with you.
Just try not to let on too much and work on not reacting so people don't jump to the wrong idea. People can be quite defensive if they think somebody is homophobic and you don't want to get caught up in anything like that.
Everyone has their own sense of morality. You aren't a
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