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Is it rude to ask someone where they are "originally" from?
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Original post by miss_ambitious
Why is it such a big deal if people ask where you're from? is it embarrassing, because you should be proud. RT you sound like a very insecure person if this normal question puts you off.
Read my other posts. I already explained very clearly why it's rude and annoying and don't fancy repeating myself. Are you White British? If so, your opinion on this is irrelevant because you don't have to put up with this moronic behaviour from complete strangers.
Original post by meediaabid
Can't get mad at mere curiosity
It's rude if someone already asked where I'm from then refuses to accept my answer when I tell them because apparently I didn't answer the question to their satisfaction. People who show no respect shouldn't expect to be treated with any.
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by Eunomia
It's rude if someone already asked where I'm from then refuses to accept my answer when I tell them because apparently I didn't answer the question to their satisfaction. People who show no respect shouldn't expect to be treated with any.
Again, I do not get mad at mere curiosity, I am a racially ambiguous person and will happily tell people my ethnicity. This is a subjective thing so you telling me it's rude won't make me agree.
Original post by moopmeen
When people ask this, they don't want to know where you're from or where you were born... they want to know where your parents are from. They're interested in your ethnicity, not your place of birth.
People have asked this to me and if they're being genuinely curious then why would I get offended..
People have asked this to me and if they're being genuinely curious then why would I get offended..
Well it's not my duty to satisfy their "curiosity". I have no ties with the lands that my grandparents and ancestors came from. I have never been to those countries and know nothing about their cultures. So why on Earth would I want to engage in a conversation about something I have little knowledge of with people I barely know?
Original post by Napp
People are offended by the most tiny of things these days, pathetic.
As opposed to which days? Putting your elbows on the dining table is considered rude and has been for a long time, why wouldn't poking your nose into people's lives be as well?
Original post by Eunomia
Read my other posts. I already explained very clearly why it's rude and annoying and don't fancy repeating myself. Are you White British? If so, your opinion on this is irrelevant because you don't have to put up with this moronic behaviour from complete strangers.
actually, I'm not.I'm mixed race
A lot of people seem to get offended by the question, or at least i'm told they do by stupid websites like buzzfeed, so I never ask. But I've wanted to on multiple occasions in the past.
As a languages student, I'm often curious to know about a person's heritage and whether they speak a second language or travel often because of it, despite being born and raised in Britian. So many people do, as it's fairly common for young people to be the first generation of their family born in Britain, meaning links could remain to another culture. But it seems too dangerous to ask.
As a languages student, I'm often curious to know about a person's heritage and whether they speak a second language or travel often because of it, despite being born and raised in Britian. So many people do, as it's fairly common for young people to be the first generation of their family born in Britain, meaning links could remain to another culture. But it seems too dangerous to ask.
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by Eunomia
As opposed to which days? Putting your elbows on the dining table is considered rude and has been for a long time, why wouldn't poking your nose into people's lives be as well?
It is a turn of phrase. Although since the millennium to be more specific.
Bit of a false equivalency wouldnt you say?
Why does it matter where someone is from?
Probably a fairly efficient way to identify who you actually want to continue speaking to.
e.g.:
You: Hi, where are you from?
Them [in strong foreign accent]: I live here!
You: Oh right. Yeah me too. How long have you been here?
Them: HOW DARE YOU?! That is so racist! You just microaggressed me! What are you, a member of the BNP? I have--
You *walking into the distance*: Phew, nearly befriended an annoying person there.
e.g.:
You: Hi, where are you from?
Them [in strong foreign accent]: I live here!
You: Oh right. Yeah me too. How long have you been here?
Them: HOW DARE YOU?! That is so racist! You just microaggressed me! What are you, a member of the BNP? I have--
You *walking into the distance*: Phew, nearly befriended an annoying person there.
I think it depends on how you are asked? if someone just says "where were you born?" as a casual question then it's fine, but if the conversation goes more like
"where are you from?"
"bristol!"
"no, where are you from originally "
then there's kind of an implication there that the person doesn't believe you and it can feel a little insulting? I know it doesn't seem like a big deal if it happens once but I feel this happens to a lot of people over and over again, especially with people of colour. My aunt constantly gets this, everyone assumes she's from Africa but she'd a born and bred Mancunian, I think it gets really draining after a while.
In general I think the question is fine to ask so long as you word it in a way that's pretty clear to understand, and so long as you understand that some people might not want to answer.
"where are you from?"
"bristol!"
"no, where are you from originally "
then there's kind of an implication there that the person doesn't believe you and it can feel a little insulting? I know it doesn't seem like a big deal if it happens once but I feel this happens to a lot of people over and over again, especially with people of colour. My aunt constantly gets this, everyone assumes she's from Africa but she'd a born and bred Mancunian, I think it gets really draining after a while.
In general I think the question is fine to ask so long as you word it in a way that's pretty clear to understand, and so long as you understand that some people might not want to answer.
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by TimmonaPortella
Probably a fairly efficient way to identify who you actually want to continue speaking to.
e.g.:
You: Hi, where are you from?
Them [in strong foreign accent]: I live here!
You: Oh right. Yeah me too. How long have you been here?
Them: HOW DARE YOU?! That is so racist! You just microaggressed me! What are you, a member of the BNP? I have--
You *walking into the distance*: Phew, nearly befriended an annoying person there.
e.g.:
You: Hi, where are you from?
Them [in strong foreign accent]: I live here!
You: Oh right. Yeah me too. How long have you been here?
Them: HOW DARE YOU?! That is so racist! You just microaggressed me! What are you, a member of the BNP? I have--
You *walking into the distance*: Phew, nearly befriended an annoying person there.
Don't pretend that it doesn't happen to British ethnic minorities all the time as well, as opposed to just people with "strong foreign accents".
And you're right, it's good that irritants who pester you about where you're "actually" from show how annoying they are in the first place. Saves a lot of time.
Original post by Eunomia
Don't pretend that it doesn't happen to British ethnic minorities all the time as well, as opposed to just people with "strong foreign accents".
And you're right, it's good that irritants who pester you about where you're "actually" from show how annoying they are in the first place. Saves a lot of time.
And you're right, it's good that irritants who pester you about where you're "actually" from show how annoying they are in the first place. Saves a lot of time.
I'm not pretending that. I gave an extreme example of someone overreacting to avoid grey areas.
If someone asked, I dunno, Richard Ayoade where he was really from I would think that very ill judged in most contexts
Original post by Eunomia
Well it's not my duty to satisfy their "curiosity". I have no ties with the lands that my grandparents and ancestors came from. I have never been to those countries and know nothing about their cultures. So why on Earth would I want to engage in a conversation about something I have little knowledge of with people I barely know?
It's understandable if you did not want to answer them since the topic is of no interest to you but that does not make it rude to ask such questions. Maybe if they persisted then yes it might be considered disrespectful.
Have you not ever asked someone something out of curiosity? No one has a general duty to satisfy anyone's curiosity and people cannot always presume how someone feels about a certain matter. I'm sure there are people out there who actually enjoy telling strangers about their history or background if asked and I'm also sure there are people who feel like it's none of their business, so why blame those who are interested. Like you say, you have no obligation to tell them anything so there really isn't a problem.
It can be annoying and sometimes awkward especially at school, I wouldn’t say it’s rude, it depends on the context. I don’t find it offensive but quite annoying in some contexts but in other contexts I’m more than happy to answer. Adults asking is normally okay, it’s just when you’re at school and it can be awkward
I don't consider it rude unless they ask the same question after you've correctly answered them where you yourself are in fact from, or if they asked it after already knowing where I was born.
I don’t think it’s rude to ask this. Maybe you’re born there but obv they are asking about your roots. Just answer the question without getting offended. Are you ashamed of your roots or why does it offend you? If you’d be born in China but you look different, people will laugh at you when you say you’re from China so I don’t think it’s that bad in the UK.
Original post by elisabeth1
I don’t think it’s rude to ask this. Maybe you’re born there but obv they are asking about your roots. Just answer the question without getting offended. Are you ashamed of your roots or why does it offend you? If you’d be born in China but you look different, people will laugh at you when you say you’re from China so I don’t think it’s that bad in the UK.
My usual response to this ignorance.
Original post by Eunomia
Read my other posts. I already explained very clearly why it's rude and annoying and don't fancy repeating myself. Are you White British? If so, your opinion on this is irrelevant because you don't have to put up with this moronic behaviour from complete strangers.
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by TimmonaPortella
I'm not pretending that. I gave an extreme example of someone overreacting to avoid grey areas.
If someone asked, I dunno, Richard Ayoade where he was really from I would think that very ill judged in most contexts
If someone asked, I dunno, Richard Ayoade where he was really from I would think that very ill judged in most contexts
I wouldn't call someone a racist for asking it because there isn't always a racist mentality behind it (many times it's even people of my own ethnicity who weren't raised in the UK who ask the question). I just think that it's disrespectful to insist that the person isn't from London/Birmingham/Manchester/other place in the UK and to try to force a different answer out of them. Sometimes the person has no connection with or knowledge of the land(s) of their ancestors at all. In that case it's hardly a comfortable topic to discuss with strangers.
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