Should I stay or not?

If you take her back now you look weak and manipulative, you don't break up or threaten to breakup unless you can go through with it

Reply 2

999tigger

19

If you carry on, then at least its with your eyes open. You are only 3 days in, so give it more time imo, maybe a few weeks and see how you feel and she responds. Early days yet. If she keeps going on about her ex you have your answer.

Reply 3

You've ended it yourself by throwing her into insecurity, now everytime she thinks of saying something she will hide it from you for fear of what you will do.

Reply 4

mkap

20

seriously why would she say that :lol:

must be pretty deep feelings she has for her ex if she broke up with him over three years ago/

Reply 5

Original post by mkap

seriously why would she say that :lol:

must be pretty deep feelings she has for her ex if she broke up with him over three years ago/

True, the irony is she was honest enough to tell him about it, if she was honest enough to tell him about it then he had no reason to distrust her. Ok the ex might complicate things if he came back, but at least he knows she will be honest with him.

Reply 6

ikhan94

16

Looks like she still thinks about her ex

Reply 7

999tigger

19

Original post by mkap

seriously why would she say that :lol:

must be pretty deep feelings she has for her ex if she broke up with him over three years ago/

Bit dumb, especially if true, but some people when asked a direct question find it difficult to say anything but the truth.

Not that i approve of lying, just a more thoughtful and considered answer might have been better.

Reply 8

Fenneko

20

You'll just look stupid if you go back now.
Walk away with your head held up high.

keep banging.

She still likes her ex obviously but sees no point in getting back with him as he lives in a different country.
If her liking her ex gets to you, then it is best for you to just forget about it tbh.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 11

You could save it in the long term if you are patient but it is a difficult game and could go very wrong.

I suggest a 3 months silence, this is because

It allows her to think things through.
You don't look like you go back on your word easily.

Reply 12

Kashmir Skirt

1

Original post by whorace

If you take her back now you look weak and manipulative, you don't break up or threaten to breakup unless you can go through with it

This is top relationship advice. Threatening to break up either makes you look cruel and unkind or weak and pathetic, neither are good looks for a man.

Reply 13

OP

Original post by whorace

You've ended it yourself by throwing her into insecurity, now everytime she thinks of saying something she will hide it from you for fear of what you will do.

Yes you are right, I agree with you. Sending that text on impulse was a bad idea.

So you think I should just end everything, because it's already turning sour so early and it might get worse in the long run?

Reply 14

OP

Original post by 999tigger

If you carry on, then at least its with your eyes open. You are only 3 days in, so give it more time imo, maybe a few weeks and see how you feel and she responds. Early days yet. If she keeps going on about her ex you have your answer.

Yes it's only been 3 days, she said she was with her ex since childhood, so they knew each other for years. So to expect her to get over him so quickly is probably too much of me to ask for. I should maybe give it time. But I just don't know.

Reply 15

chocolatesauce

18

if she needs time give her time to PROPERLY get over him but don't get with her until she does this. You don't want to be someone she's using to get over him. Also its only been three days and you're having problems, makes me question things...

Reply 16

Original post by chocolatesauce

if she needs time give her time to PROPERLY get over him but don't get with her until she does this. You don't want to be someone she's using to get over him. Also its only been three days and you're having problems, makes me question things...

I don't think it's unfair to say that he might grow on her during the relationship, sometimes meeting someone new when you're still not over your ex is what helps it's not just about using them.

Next time you make a serious decision do seek some counsel.

Reply 17

OP

Original post by mkap

seriously why would she say that :lol:

must be pretty deep feelings she has for her ex if she broke up with him over three years ago/

No, she broke up with him 4 or 5 months ago, but they were childhood friends before deciding to get into a relationship, so they've known each other for quite a long time. I don't know it's probably too much of me to expect someone to get over an ex so quickly, but at the same time it hurts knowing that she still loves someone else.

Reply 18

chocolatesauce

18

Original post by whorace

I don't think it's unfair to say that he might grow on her during the relationship, sometimes meeting someone new when you're still not over your ex is what helps it's not just about using them.

Next time you make a serious decision do seek some counsel.

well she's admitted that she's not over him so it would certainly make me question things if I were in the same relationship and I definitely wouldn't want to be told my bf still has feelings for his ex, its just not right and that makes me wonder even more why she's in one.

are you talking to me? :lol:

Reply 19