So hurt and depressed after being dumped

So I was only seeing this guy for a few months and I was reluctant to let things get far as I knew I would end up hurt. Early on I asked the guy about 'us' and he clarified that he saw it as serious and that he genuinely really liked me etc.
Well being an idiot I allowed myself to fall, hard.

And of course he ended up ending it.

It ended two months ago now, and I'm still heartbroken AF.

How can guys move on so easy? And how come I'm still so heartbroken?

I've tried to move on .im so,so busy at the moment, always meeting new people too. But I'm still further away than ever of being over it.

Reply 1

Double Agent

18

You are being way too harsh on yourself. A better approach is to let it all out and feel the pain as intensely as possible.Really focus on it and process it and feel it. It's ok to feel heart broken, that's a big part of being human and growing up. It will get better, the world keeps turning, our neurons realign and begin to understand a new normal and start looking to the future again. It always looks like an ex has moved on super quickly, most likely you're just seeing their 'best bits' on facebook and comparing it to the pain you feel inside.

Two months ago? Well it's probably because you think about it too much. Just accept your wrongs and learn from them in your new relationships. As for guys moving on so easy... not quite true but in my personal experience I find it easier to move on when I'm not the one ending the relationship for stupid reasons rather than trying to fix it.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 3

Kevin De Bruyne

21

Original post by Anonymous

So I was only seeing this guy for a few months and I was reluctant to let things get far as I knew I would end up hurt. Early on I asked the guy about 'us' and he clarified that he saw it as serious and that he genuinely really liked me etc.
Well being an idiot I allowed myself to fall, hard.

And of course he ended up ending it.

It ended two months ago now, and I'm still heartbroken AF.

How can guys move on so easy? And how come I'm still so heartbroken?

I've tried to move on .im so,so busy at the moment, always meeting new people too. But I'm still further away than ever of being over it.

I wouldn't use the word 'depressed' too lightly :redface:

it is easy to do, I know.

You aren't an idiot for taking that risk, it's a shame that he did what he did. It may or may not affect your future relationships - I hope you try your best not to let it.

Unfortunately there is no magic and immediate fix for getting over someone or feeling happy again. It takes time, which can vary from person to person. There may also be a time (it sounds like you're there now) where you do indeed feel some things again and like you're never going to get over them or that you're really suffering and feeling low. The good news is that it can't get much lower than that, provided you are not in contact with them and have deleted any text messages, their number, thrown anything related to them away. The only kind of 'bad' news is that it still takes some time for you to lift yourself up again. That is all you really need - the rest is business as usual.

Reply 4

undercxver

18

Original post by Anonymous

How can guys move on so easy? And how come I'm still so heartbroken?

Sorry for what happened. :frown:

1. We never will never know.
2. You took the relationship very seriously or didn't expect it?

Time will heal everything. I know right now it would be really tough to deal with. You're probabaly thinking about it everytime you're free. So the best thing to do is keep yourself busy; therefore less time spent thinking about him or the breakup and the quicker you'd feel better.

Some people still feel heartbroken even after two years. Two months seems like a short period of time to get over it. One day you'll wake up and not think about it at all. I hope you feel better very soon. :jumphug:

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

So I was only seeing this guy for a few months and I was reluctant to let things get far as I knew I would end up hurt. Early on I asked the guy about 'us' and he clarified that he saw it as serious and that he genuinely really liked me etc.
Well being an idiot I allowed myself to fall, hard.

And of course he ended up ending it.

It ended two months ago now, and I'm still heartbroken AF.

How can guys move on so easy? And how come I'm still so heartbroken?

I've tried to move on .im so,so busy at the moment, always meeting new people too. But I'm still further away than ever of being over it.

Trust me, guys dont move on that easily. Most of us are in the gym getting mental therapy trying to forget the pain.

Reply 6

user382

17

Don't be a slave to the chemicals in your brain.

You are not heartbroken. You feel heartbroken.

Reply 7

abcde3237

7

Original post by Anonymous

Trust me, guys dont move on that easily. Most of us are in the gym getting mental therapy trying to forget the pain.

if he's the one doing the dumping then surely he'll be able to move on more easily?

Reply 8

username1441610

18

Original post by abcde3237

if he's the one doing the dumping then surely he'll be able to move on more easily?

It depends really. Many reasons for breaking up in which could affect the person being able to move on.

Reply 9

Pinkberry_y

19

You're not an idiot and he does not deserve to feel heartbroken over, he's not worth it. It does get better with time I promise, it doesn't feel like it now but one day you'll find a day or two or three has gone by and you haven't even thought of it without realising it.

Reply 10

Anonymous #3

In the same position OP, it really sucks. Scary reading this as I've only been in this phase about a week. I literally feel so upset that he seems to have just moved on so quickly, like i was nothing to him. I was there for him through his roughest times and now he has his friends back and more time off work its like i am now just not good nor exciting enough for him anymore. Don't know what to do, can't stop thinking about it. so unfair when i know i probably have only crossed his mind once or twice (if that) since he broke up with me...

Reply 11

Washington.

Original post by Anonymous

So I was only seeing this guy for a few months and I was reluctant to let things get far as I knew I would end up hurt. Early on I asked the guy about 'us' and he clarified that he saw it as serious and that he genuinely really liked me etc.
Well being an idiot I allowed myself to fall, hard.

And of course he ended up ending it.

It ended two months ago now, and I'm still heartbroken AF.

How can guys move on so easy? And how come I'm still so heartbroken?

I've tried to move on .im so,so busy at the moment, always meeting new people too. But I'm still further away than ever of being over it.

I've done this to more than one girl actually. To be frank, I would have told them anything to get sex / obedience. Some guys are just like that.

Best thing you can do is dont allow yourself to be lonely or wih nothing to do - spend more time doing hobbies and other things you enjoy; spend more time with friends so you're mentally occupied and not thinking about it too much, and try and find someone new.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 12

emi.hopkins

6

I didn't get over a guy for over a year once, and it was a 3 month relationship. I fell for him hard. It just takes time and patience, be patient with yourself, you'll get over him eventually when you're ready to, in the meantime try to live good and stick it out. And whatever you do don't go back there !!!

Reply 13

catinsomehat

15

Time will heal things for you, I know that sounds annoying but it's true.

I thought I'd never get over it but I did. One day you just wake up and you realise they're just not worth the effort.

Reply 14

Washington.

Original post by emi.hopkins

I didn't get over a guy for over a year once, and it was a 3 month relationship. I fell for him hard. It just takes time and patience, be patient with yourself, you'll get over him eventually when you're ready to, in the meantime try to live good and stick it out. And whatever you do don't go back there !!!

Curious, why did it end?

Reply 15

emi.hopkins

6

Original post by Washington.

Curious, why did it end?

I was being dumb and ended it because I was going through a lot, and I really was it wasn't just an excuse:// however so was he, and I left him when he probably needed me most. regretted it after literally two days.

We did end up on and off again for a few months which really didn't help either of us in the long term, and it wasn't healthy either ah.

Those were some of the most depressing days of my life to date ah

So hurt and depressed after being dumped

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