Strangest things a teacher's said to YOU? Version 2.0

All the female teachers in the history department got pregnant one after the other over the duration of my history course,the only male history teacher came in when we heard the news and said 'well,what can I say?' with a grin.

Reply 581

DjamesH94

4

Very funny story. I was in my GCSE PE Lesson last year and we were discussing the final marks that we were going to be given for each of our four sports. With Edexcel, the teacher marks you out of 10 on how good you are at a sport and an external moderator comes in to see if they agree with the marks you've been given. Anyway, this boy in my class was arguing about one of his marks with our teacher. The other PE teacher came in, heard the argument and shouted " Look, we've been doing this job for 13 years, 13 years ago you were still sucking on your mum's tits!" The whole class burst out laughing, because of what he said.He then quickly realised that we wouldn't have been the case as we were 16/15, making us 2/3 at the time. It was the statement that made it so funny though, a classic! :smile:

Reply 582

tssf_skye

15

This is kinda directed at all student but:

My headteacher sent out a letters to our whole school telling
us that semen has been found in the toilets on more than one occasion and that masterbuation
is not okay, and if it happens again the science department will collect it up and perform
DNA test to find out who it was.

I was like, wtf has the world come to.

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 583

skrail

1

In year 7, my pe teacher was pushing us to get out of the changing rooms shouted out, "come on lads! Oh and you (my name)."

Reply 584

Rizzy J

Had a teacher who was training at the school. Was teaching us maths and said "Today we will be learning f***torising" instead of factorising
Was a foreign teacher but ohh how awkward and how we all wanted to laugh

Reply 585

SirMasterKey

18

Original post by Rizzy J

Had a teacher who was training at the school. Was teaching us maths and said "Today we will be learning f***torising" instead of factorising
Was a foreign teacher but ohh how awkward and how we all wanted to laugh

Why didn't you all laugh. Seems like a time when everyone just would?

Reply 586

don_lad_

13

"get your pants off boy, this isn't hollywood"
"the bottom line is this- if you're not white, male, and anglo-saxon, you can **** off"
"you never go in the girls' toilets- period."
"i had feelings for a little ginger irish chappie when i was in year eight. in fact it wasn't until university i realised i wasn't gay. now i cross the street to avoid them. both the irish and the gays that is"

my school is odd

Reply 587

TheHansa

11

So boys if you toss a coin how likely are you to get a head?

Reply 588

uxa595

21

Did you just say "**** you" to me?

Reply 589

marky--mark

9

I went on a school trip to South Africa with my biology department and apparently I fell asleep on the bus. They've got a video of one of the teachers having an entire conversation with me about blue giraffes and why we needed to count which ones were blue so that we could study them. This conversation lasted a good half hour because I kept saying stuff like "But WHY are they all blue? Why aren't there any red ones?"

She was blatantly trolling me. I woke up with blue felt-tip giraffe spots all over my face, which she's adamant she didn't do.

That video went on during the may ball that year. I hadn't seen it before then.

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 590

Doglamlico

16

Original post by DdotT

Noticed a thread on the subject had been closed, meaning i couldn't add to it :frown:

So why not revive a new one..

So whats the Weirdest,strangest thing a teacher has said to you...

mine is...
Oh no not again! People keep putting that gay porn on my laptop...

2 Weeks later some guys went on it when he was out of the room at lunch and they discovered more..

I'm being 100% serious btw.

EDIT: moved from Current Affairs even though the original was there in the first place :wink:

given warning points too!

Cover teacher who I'd never seen before in my life.

"hey, Junaid".

me: :O "how do you know my name.." :eek:

him: "didn't I teach you in <other school>?"

me: "no... I've never even been to <town of other school>".

him: "oh. well, I taught a guy who looked exactly like you with the same name."

*two years later!*

he appeared in school for another cover lesson, and did the same thing.

:O

Reply 591

TattyBoJangles

19

*talking to my form tutor*

Me: Yeah, my left knee hurts when driving as it stays semi-bent.

Him: Ah, I have the same problem. Just put your chair further back so you don't have to bend it.

Me: I can't, my legs are too short to put my chair further back.

Him: Ah, nothing of mine has ever been too short for anything.

Most things that come out of his mouth are inappropriate / strange to be fair.

Reply 592

Doglamlico

16

Original post by tssf_skye

This is kinda directed at all student but:

My headteacher sent out a letters to our whole school telling
us that semen has been found in the toilets on more than one occasion and that masterbuation
is not okay, and if it happens again the science department will collect it up and perform
DNA test to find out who it was.

I was like, wtf has the world come to.

Lol because a school science department has the resources to analyse DNA and compare it across 1000 students.

Reply 593

DingDong!

7

Bumped into a really old invigilator the other day and said "sorry", like you do, she goes "you better be or I'll get my dad on you!" :O This woman was like 80 something hahahha.

Oh and this same inviglator walked past my friend who was singing really badly and she said "stop it it's already raining" and then got into the lift and as the doors closed she stuck her tongue out ahahah.

Reply 594

tssf_skye

15

Original post by Junaid96

Lol because a school science department has the resources to analyse DNA and compare it across 1000 students.

You can see the letter if you want proof haha

This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App

Reply 595

007Shella

1

Original post by DingDong!

Bumped into a really old invigilator the other day and said "sorry", like you do, she goes "you better be or I'll get my dad on you!" :O This woman was like 80 something hahahha.

Oh and this same inviglator walked past my friend who was singing really badly and she said "stop it it's already raining" and then got into the lift and as the doors closed she stuck her tongue out ahahah.

that's so crazy it sounds unreal !

Reply 596

DingDong!

7

Original post by 007Shella

that's so crazy it sounds unreal !

I'm not lying it actually happened! She's a right strange invigilator, she waddles down the exam hall shouting EQUIPMENT ANYONE GOT ANY COLLEGE EQUIPMENT at the end of the exam LMAO.

Reply 597

FullMetalX

2

Original post by tssf_skye

You can see the letter if you want proof haha

This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App

Please show us!

Reply 598

original_username

15

Original post by tssf_skye

This is kinda directed at all student but:

My headteacher sent out a letters to our whole school telling
us that semen has been found in the toilets on more than one occasion and that masterbuation
is not okay, and if it happens again the science department will collect it up and perform
DNA test to find out who it was.

I was like, wtf has the world come to.

I used to sneak in to the girls toilets and do this.

I'd estimate I have in the region of 7 children.

Okay, I made it up but it's about as real as yours.

Reply 599

tssf_skye

15

Original post by FullMetalX

Please show us!

Strangest things a teacher's said to YOU? Version 2.0

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