Men: What does it mean when a guy says this?

i said that i wanted to see how things worked out, which is true, but I also don't want to hurt you in the future, so what I'm trying to say is that I can't commit to something now, I can't say yes I'll be around forever, I may be but I can't say for definite, i don't have the intention of this being short term, or dating or long-term I want to take it as it goes, and at the same time I don't want to promise something now that I may break in the future

Exactly what it says. He won't say; "I want this to last forever" because life happens, and circumstance changes.

Women love looking for hidden meanings in every sentence. When it comes to dealing with men, take what they say on face value. We are a bit simpler on average, what we say doesn't have a thousand different meanings.


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If you've only been on a few dates with him it seems to me what he's saying is that he's not sure if he wants to pursue things or not. What the reason for that may be I'm not sure I'm just speaking from experience as I've said a similar thing to a girl, at the time we were seeing each other but I knew my heart wasn't in it and she liked me more than I liked her.

So my advice is - Don't date or get into a relationship with somebody who is unsure. Because, you will end up getting hurt...a lot. It's not worth it.

okay this may sound a bit big headed, but if we did become a couple, and somewhere down the line, I wanted to break up, that would hurt you if the break up wasn't mutual, likewise if you decided down the line that I wasn't for you, then I think I'd be hurt.

Thanks. Yeah I think this is probably quite likely to be the case. If he's unsure now, is it likely that won't change? Please be honest. Yeah I don't now - I'm happy that at least it's not the other way around as I'd not like it if he was too eager. That would look suspicious.

Is it a good idea never to bring up this topic of conversation again and just focus on enjoying spending some time with him? I'm think I won't bring it up at all. But I have one rule never to have sex with this guy unless I know his heart's into me. I don't want to keep asking him about it because that'll just push him away.

Thanks everyone else for your replies also.

Also just a random question, is he the kind of girl who guys generally like? E.g does he have a lot of girl mates or usually get a fair amount of attention?

I would say don't put too much pressure on him and have a laugh, believe me if he likes you it will become clear and there's no reason he couldn't change his mind/become more attracted to you maybe once you've spent some more time together?

This, completely this. OP, wouldn't you rather he be honest and say the future isn't definite as opposed to saying he'll never leave you, and he'll be with you forever etc...then in a years time you're not together? As Alpharius stated, things change. However, that doesn't mean you shouldn't pursue things with this guy. He obviously likes you and wants to commit in some way, just see how things go.

I like how you said us girls do it too. It puts things into perspective for me. And maybe I have pulled that one on guys as well. Okay I feel better now because I can hardly feel bad for him saying something that I've said to guys before. And if one person isn't that interested, it wouldn't really work...so in that sense the outcome is out of my control.

No I don't think he's the type of guy who gets a lot of attention, although he does have a few female friends. Well he took the risk of opening up to me, told me he hasn't been long term with any girl before because he's asked them out and they've said no, or he hasn't got a second date. He even told me that I'm the first girl he's kissed which made me think hehe

But yeah I know what you mean. I like that he's unsure in some sense because he means he's got a brain and not wanting to date someone out of desperation. But he told me that his friends have told him that he's too picky.

He doesn't want you to become all crazy and obsessive... Which I imagine you are due to starting a thread about it on TSR.

See this is what I'm thinking might happen so I'm wanting to hold back. I can't work out from what he said, whether he means he doesn't have commitment in his mind in general, or whether he's just not sure whether he's into me.

He told me he's worried about performance (he's a virgin, I'm not). And then he said:



Heck I am probably over-analysing this.

I'm going to focus on other stuff in my life over the next few days. I have lots of fun stuff to do and there's no way I'm getting oneitis with him.