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How to cheer up a depressed person?

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    Title says it. My boyfriend suffers from a type of depressions that give him extreme ups and downs. A lot of times we'd plan going out and then he'd be having a down and it'd spoil the day. I always try to cheer him up, but I very rarely succeed. What activities and words cheer up depressed people?
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    It hurts me when it hurts him.
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    big hugs and kisses, telling him that he means the world to you..but if getting deep doesnt help try jokes, dancing stupidly for him, tickling him a non aggressive way, little kisses on the neck and nose. stick your tongue out, pretending you're a garage mc.....
    #2

    It can be difficult when people are unpredictable but im sure you can keep supporting your boyfriend. If you can go out and he's fine then great. If he doesnt want to go out then why not do something at home - maybe try baking some cakes together if he wants to do something active or maybe just sit and watch a dvd - that way he can concentrate on something else whih will probably make him feel better. If he starts to feel down when out go osmewhere away from other people and decide that he wants to do. Remember not to push him too much into anything. I think the worst thing you can do when he is feeling down is over compensate by being over happy and smilly. Sometimes people just want a listening ear.
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    yeah occupy him with random sports,,like swing ball, darts and frisbee.......hell if someone ropes me into a game of one of those when im feeling a bit down it occupies my mind and leaves me feeling tired and smily in a good way..maybe worth a try? but everyones differentxxx
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    (Original post by bone-machine)
    big hugs and kisses, telling him that he means the world to you..but if getting deep doesnt help try jokes, dancing stupidly for him, tickling him a non aggressive way, little kisses on the neck and nose. stick your tongue out, pretending you're a garage mc.....
    thats really sweet :p: but OP, you should sit him down and find out whats wrong. Might take a while to get him to open up about whatever hes depressed about (maybe you already know?) anyway try and help him sort out whatever it is thats making him feel down. Treat the causes not the symptoms etc etc y'know
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    genuine depression?
    lots of drugs.
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    Act 'normally'. If you try to hard, he'll know and it could make him feel worse as he will be able to see that you've gone into being nice overdrive!

    Equally, by 'normally' I also mean trying not to let him bring you down too, so you may have to 'act up' to plateau.

    All most people want it an even keel and a little stability in their lives...
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    Is he getting any help for it? Help is a big step, and can take some of the pressure off of you.
    Its very, very sweet that you want to help, and are showing that you care - try to show it to him, too.

    What to do when someone you know is depressed (link) is a very good link as it outlines the basics, but then leads you off into different directions too.

    Take care,
    Jo
    x
    #3

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Title says it. My boyfriend suffers from a type of depressions that give him extreme ups and downs. A lot of times we'd plan going out and then he'd be having a down and it'd spoil the day. I always try to cheer him up, but I very rarely succeed. What activities and words cheer up depressed people?
    Gawd! I sometimes get really depressed because I feel as though I am not wanted by anyone, ungrateful git!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Gawd! I sometimes get really depressed because I feel as though I am not wanted by anyone, ungrateful git!
    Idiot.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Title says it. My boyfriend suffers from a type of depressions that give him extreme ups and downs. A lot of times we'd plan going out and then he'd be having a down and it'd spoil the day. I always try to cheer him up, but I very rarely succeed. What activities and words cheer up depressed people?
    Depression is an illness. Just like you can't cheer someone up out of the flu, you can't cheer them up out of depression. You can keep him active, which slows the depression down and numbs the effects slightly... but you can't stop it. Trust me, I have clinical depression, and know plenty of people who also have or have had it. However, it sounds like your boyfriend has bipolar disorder (a.k.a. manic depression - fluctuation between mania and depression). I suppose this must be harder to deal with than constant depression, for both of you, but treatment is the same.

    Counselling will keep him optimistic... drugs (although there's a lot of dangerous side effects, including increased suicidal thoughts - keep away from these unless the risk of suicide is greater without than with the drugs) will physically numb the senses slightly... and keeping active will make him feel less crap (note: not 'better', just 'less bad')... but it's not "curable". It will pass with time. All you can do is numb the symptoms for him.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Gawd! I sometimes get really depressed because I feel as though I am not wanted by anyone, ungrateful git!
    I was about to say idiot. Seems I was beaten to it.
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    (Original post by generalebriety)
    Depression is an illness. Just like you can't cheer someone up out of the flu, you can't cheer them up out of depression. You can keep him active, which slows the depression down and numbs the effects slightly... but you can't stop it. Trust me, I have clinical depression, and know plenty of people who also have or have had it. However, it sounds like your boyfriend has bipolar disorder (a.k.a. manic depression - fluctuation between mania and depression). I suppose this must be harder to deal with than constant depression, for both of you, but treatment is the same.

    Counselling will keep him optimistic... drugs (although there's a lot of dangerous side effects, including increased suicidal thoughts - keep away from these unless the risk of suicide is greater without than with the drugs) will physically numb the senses slightly... and keeping active will make him feel less crap (note: not 'better', just 'less bad')... but it's not "curable". It will pass with time. All you can do is numb the symptoms for him.
    Bipolar is much more biological than physical, though, its one of the few "mental" disorders that almost has to be treated with drugs, I thought?
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    (Original post by generalebriety)
    I was about to say idiot. Seems I was beaten to it.
    Great minds think alike =)
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    (Original post by Simulatio)
    Bipolar is much more biological than physical, though, its one of the few "mental" disorders that almost has to be treated with drugs, I thought?
    Depends how severe it is... I suppose more bipolar cases are treated with drugs than depression cases... but like any mental disorder, bipolar can be fought alone. It's not nice, but some people would feel worse if they had to undergo counselling and drugs, because that can make you feel worthless and weak, and that's without the side effects. So really, it depends on the person.
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    I thought depression was caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain, and therefore you need drugs to correct the imbalance....can you recover from it without the help of drugs?
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    (Original post by Ywiss)
    I thought depression was caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain, and therefore you need drugs to correct the imbalance....can you recover from it without the help of drugs?
    To put it simply; yup.

    Depression is a big word, and there are many different types and causes of it. Biology is only one cause of it.
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    (Original post by Ywiss)
    I thought depression was caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain, and therefore you need drugs to correct the imbalance....can you recover from it without the help of drugs?
    That depends upon whether you are suffering from endogenous or reactive depression. In my case it is the former. So, in my case, no.
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    (Original post by generalebriety)
    Depends how severe it is... I suppose more bipolar cases are treated with drugs than depression cases... but like any mental disorder, bipolar can be fought alone. It's not nice, but some people would feel worse if they had to undergo counselling and drugs, because that can make you feel worthless and weak, and that's without the side effects. So really, it depends on the person.
    They can also transform your life - it's a question of finding the right one.

    I have quite a few friends with that diagnosis and none of them have managed to fight it alone.

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Updated: February 28, 2007
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