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Getting groped/unwanted advances in clubs
I went to a bar on saturday night for my friends birthday, i rarely venture into bars/night clubs, as I hate the heat. Anyway I stayed about an hour, in this hour, someone/different people groped me five times on the dance floor like pinched my bum, I couldn't see who because so many people on the dance floor, someone threatened to glass a bouncer, and unwanted flirty contact, such as putting arm around me, touching my leg i've said no get off me leave me alone, but they still don't get the hint i left after an hour, & don't think i'll be going again.. It feels like a meat market, you only don't get much attention if you stay glued to your boyfriend all night and even then if you venture off on your own to go the bar or while he's gone to the loo, you get people coming onto you, then when your boyfriend comes back the guy apologies to your boyfriend and not to you like 'I'm sorry I didn't know she's with you" which annoys me. Which is a shame, feel like I can't go for a cocktail & a dance with my girlfriends on my own anymore without my boyfriend. 
Any other girls feel this way?
Any other girls feel this way?Scroll to see replies
Well it's a club I guess. People are grinding up against each other everywhere (from what I assume - I'm only 17 so haven't gone clubbing yet). I suppose if it makes you feel uncomfortable, then go to I guess a quieter club? I don't know really because it's quite the norm. At times even girls dance over to you and grind against you, so it can be equally uncomfortable for a guy - Though most guys love it lol.
Original post by vickidc18
I went to a bar on saturday night for my friends birthday, i rarely venture into bars/night clubs, as I hate the heat. Anyway I stayed about an hour, in this hour, someone/different people groped me five times on the dance floor like pinched my bum, I couldn't see who because so many people on the dance floor, someone threatened to glass a bouncer, and unwanted flirty contact, such as putting arm around me, touching my leg i've said no get off me leave me alone, but they still don't get the hint i left after an hour, & don't think i'll be going again.. It feels like a meat market, you only don't get much attention if you stay glued to your boyfriend all night and even then if you venture off on your own to go the bar or while he's gone to the loo, you get people coming onto you, then when your boyfriend comes back the guy apologies to your boyfriend and not to you like 'I'm sorry I didn't know she's with you" which annoys me. Which is a shame, feel like I can't go for a cocktail & a dance with my girlfriends on my own anymore without my boyfriend. Any other girls feel this way?
Any other girls feel this way?Original post by It's a Classic
Well it's a club I guess. People are grinding up against each other everywhere (from what I assume - I'm only 17 so haven't gone clubbing yet). I suppose if it makes you feel uncomfortable, then go to I guess a quieter club? I don't know really because it's quite the norm. At times even girls dance over to you and grind against you, so it can be equally uncomfortable for a guy - Though most guys love it lol.
Kinda unhelpful as you've never been in the situation yourself. From a guys perspective who feels like he doesn't act inappropriately even after a good drink, there is nothing that makes me feel more uncomfortable in a club than seeing this happen to a girl who is clearly uninterested/ way too good for the guy anyway. From my experience, there are certain types of people who are the main perpetrators of this, however not exclusively. The worst night was one night down here, I went out with a group of lads to have a good night, most of us with girlfriends, when a girl came up to me and asked me to pretend to be her boyfriend so a creepy guy would disappear, sure enough he soon did. But it makes me feel awkward just watching in these situations, let alone if I was the girl (or guy for that matter) involved.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by vickidc18
I went to a bar on saturday night for my friends birthday, i rarely venture into bars/night clubs, as I hate the heat. Anyway I stayed about an hour, in this hour, someone/different people groped me five times on the dance floor like pinched my bum, I couldn't see who because so many people on the dance floor, someone threatened to glass a bouncer, and unwanted flirty contact, such as putting arm around me, touching my leg i've said no get off me leave me alone, but they still don't get the hint i left after an hour, & don't think i'll be going again.. It feels like a meat market, you only don't get much attention if you stay glued to your boyfriend all night and even then if you venture off on your own to go the bar or while he's gone to the loo, you get people coming onto you, then when your boyfriend comes back the guy apologies to your boyfriend and not to you like 'I'm sorry I didn't know she's with you" which annoys me. Which is a shame, feel like I can't go for a cocktail & a dance with my girlfriends on my own anymore without my boyfriend. Any other girls feel this way?
Any other girls feel this way?Ewww i hate clubs, i tried them once or twice and it's not my idea of a nice time. I prefer not to drink and to talk to people where it's quiet. Dancing in those places like that just feels even for me like i am on display, i don't want to dance just because that's what you're meant to do, I want to go outside in the nice air and breathe life
I haven't been to a nightclub but situations where people just don't understand "NO" are annoying. It pisses me off how some men (or should i say --immature boys) only respect men and belittle women. It really helps when you're with a male friend or your boyfriend since it's the only time when they'll understand that they're not supposed to grope you (found this article too about women being in the same situation http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/blogs/smitten/2014/03/this-study-on-getting-groped-i)
Original post by vickidc18
I went to a bar on saturday night for my friends birthday, i rarely venture into bars/night clubs, as I hate the heat. Anyway I stayed about an hour, in this hour, someone/different people groped me five times on the dance floor like pinched my bum, I couldn't see who because so many people on the dance floor, someone threatened to glass a bouncer, and unwanted flirty contact, such as putting arm around me, touching my leg i've said no get off me leave me alone, but they still don't get the hint i left after an hour, & don't think i'll be going again.. It feels like a meat market, you only don't get much attention if you stay glued to your boyfriend all night and even then if you venture off on your own to go the bar or while he's gone to the loo, you get people coming onto you, then when your boyfriend comes back the guy apologies to your boyfriend and not to you like 'I'm sorry I didn't know she's with you" which annoys me. Which is a shame, feel like I can't go for a cocktail & a dance with my girlfriends on my own anymore without my boyfriend. Any other girls feel this way?
Any other girls feel this way?I know what you mean. I really hate when guys just come up from behind and start holding you or dancing close, seriously can't I look at your face before you act like you know me?!
The only thing I started doing was wearing clothes which were more reserved, eg leggings and nice top or something, because some dresses I wear gets me a lot of unwanted attention, I want to look nice for myself or nice photos, and guys think that's their ticket to pull.
Another thing is to dance at the side of the club, with your back facing a wall, so that there's no space for anyone to go behind you.
Original post by vickidc18
I went to a bar on saturday night for my friends birthday, i rarely venture into bars/night clubs, as I hate the heat. Anyway I stayed about an hour, in this hour, someone/different people groped me five times on the dance floor like pinched my bum, I couldn't see who because so many people on the dance floor, someone threatened to glass a bouncer, and unwanted flirty contact, such as putting arm around me, touching my leg i've said no get off me leave me alone, but they still don't get the hint i left after an hour, & don't think i'll be going again.. It feels like a meat market, you only don't get much attention if you stay glued to your boyfriend all night and even then if you venture off on your own to go the bar or while he's gone to the loo, you get people coming onto you, then when your boyfriend comes back the guy apologies to your boyfriend and not to you like 'I'm sorry I didn't know she's with you" which annoys me. Which is a shame, feel like I can't go for a cocktail & a dance with my girlfriends on my own anymore without my boyfriend. Any other girls feel this way?
Any other girls feel this way?This happens a lot to me and almost all of my friends. Unfortunately in clubbing things can get a bit close for comfort which makes the whole evening much more uncomfortable. When I went out on results night I was literally ambushed by this guy who pulled me away from my friends (causing me to lose them in the crowd) and then proceeded to ask me for my number etc etc while refusing to let go of me. The funny thing was, as soon as I told him that I 'have a boyfriend' (I don't, but it was the only thing I could have said to get out of the situation) he practically vanished into thin air.
Been clubbing a few times and yeah it's common what you've experienced.
I'm a guy but I've had girls grab my butt/lick my arm/other weird things which have made me feel uncomfortable.
I've had random drunk girls grind on me before, not great when its the fat ones. It goes both ways I guess... We are not all horny freaks that likes every object that moves 
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(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by vickidc18
I went to a bar on saturday night for my friends birthday, i rarely venture into bars/night clubs, as I hate the heat. Anyway I stayed about an hour, in this hour, someone/different people groped me five times on the dance floor like pinched my bum, I couldn't see who because so many people on the dance floor, someone threatened to glass a bouncer, and unwanted flirty contact, such as putting arm around me, touching my leg i've said no get off me leave me alone, but they still don't get the hint i left after an hour, & don't think i'll be going again.. It feels like a meat market, you only don't get much attention if you stay glued to your boyfriend all night and even then if you venture off on your own to go the bar or while he's gone to the loo, you get people coming onto you, then when your boyfriend comes back the guy apologies to your boyfriend and not to you like 'I'm sorry I didn't know she's with you" which annoys me. Which is a shame, feel like I can't go for a cocktail & a dance with my girlfriends on my own anymore without my boyfriend. Any other girls feel this way?
Any other girls feel this way?Did you report them to the bouncer and get them thrown out/arrested? I hope you at least kneed them hard in the balls.
Its sexual assault, you can't just put up with it.
Original post by It's a Classic
Well it's a club I guess.
So that makes sexual assault "ok"?
What the **** is wrong with people nowadays.
Original post by cole-slaw
So that makes sexual assault "ok"?
What the **** is wrong with people nowadays.
What the **** is wrong with people nowadays.
You take out a few words from my reply, and place it in an out of context assumption? Sexual assault is not okay, if you think that's what I was coming to then you're an imbecile.
Original post by It's a Classic
You take out a few words from my reply, and place it in an out of context assumption? Sexual assault is not okay, if you think that's what I was coming to then you're an imbecile.
Well what did you mean by "well its a club I guess" if not to suggest that the OP's description of sexual assault was to be in some way expected?
You lead to learn to phrase yourself more carefully, you wouldn't want to accidently come across as trying to minimise and excuse serious sexual offences.
This never used to happen in nightclubs, its only very, very recently that a small number of young men have decided that sexually assaulting women is ok. We need to stand up against this sick ****s and not let them get away with it.
Yeah I understand how you feel as me and my friends all feel the same.. When we go out on a Saturday night it isn't as bad and I've only ever had people try talk to me rather than grab me but if I've been out during the week for a student night it's terrible... I've had people grope me from the front as well and it's disgusting behaviour
I just don't let it ruin my night, I always push people away if I can (sometimes it's a little too crowded) and my friends will move me away from someone if they're getting too close. You have to be firm!
It's really sad that boys have more respect for another boy, and they feel it's disrespectful to him to touch his girlfriend but they don't see it as disrespectful to touch a girl when she doesn't want them to (not all boys are like this of course but there's a lot on a night out who are)
I guess there are a lot of girls that like this sort of attention and this is how some guys pull. So they think you might be "up for it"
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I just don't let it ruin my night, I always push people away if I can (sometimes it's a little too crowded) and my friends will move me away from someone if they're getting too close. You have to be firm!
It's really sad that boys have more respect for another boy, and they feel it's disrespectful to him to touch his girlfriend but they don't see it as disrespectful to touch a girl when she doesn't want them to (not all boys are like this of course but there's a lot on a night out who are)
I guess there are a lot of girls that like this sort of attention and this is how some guys pull. So they think you might be "up for it"
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It's a club! What do u expect?! 
Original post by cole-slaw
Well what did you mean by "well its a club I guess" if not to suggest that the OP's description of sexual assault was to be in some way expected?
You lead to learn to phrase yourself more carefully, you wouldn't want to accidently come across as trying to minimise and excuse serious sexual offences.
This never used to happen in nightclubs, its only very, very recently that a small number of young men have decided that sexually assaulting women is ok. We need to stand up against this sick ****s and not let them get away with it.
You lead to learn to phrase yourself more carefully, you wouldn't want to accidently come across as trying to minimise and excuse serious sexual offences.
This never used to happen in nightclubs, its only very, very recently that a small number of young men have decided that sexually assaulting women is ok. We need to stand up against this sick ****s and not let them get away with it.
Sexual assault is definitely not fine and if she's feels uncomfortable then she should speak to someone about it and get something done.
However, my original point was that this sort of thing happens a lot in clubs and the fact that you're slating only men as the perpetrators of this shows ignorance. In your earlier reply you were advocating violence and suggesting she kneed the guy in the crotch; so out of curiosity if a girl in the club danced over to me and started grinding against me, or even getting a bit touchy - I should knee her in the vagina? The fact is, most people go to clubs to dance and dry hump some random strangers whilst getting drunk and listening to loud music - It's the general consensus.
But no, this doesn't mean I think groping is fine. It is sexual harassment and unless you've invited a person or given them permission to do it, then by no means is it fine. Just to emphasise though, it's not only men who commit this.
You're complete **** if you think its normal to touch a random girls bum. You shouldnt be touching her at all! I'm a guy and overall clubbing is ridiculous. It's sexual assualt and the girl can at anytime get you to court for rape if she wanted to and thats your life over.
If your grabbing girls bum at etc then you need to get ****ing laid.
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If your grabbing girls bum at etc then you need to get ****ing laid.
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Original post by LaughingBro
It's a club! What do u expect?!
It's because they can get away with it that they do it, ie it's dark and lots of people around.
Just because it's a club , it does not make it okay for guys to randomly start groping you.
It shouldn't be expected and it shouldn't be tolerated, but unfortunately it happens.
Original post by Syngrone
You're complete **** if you think its normal to touch a random girls bum. You shouldnt be touching her at all! I'm a guy and overall clubbing is ridiculous. It's sexual assualt and the girl can at anytime get you to court for rape if she wanted to and thats your life over.
If your grabbing girls bum at etc then you need to get ****ing laid.
Posted from TSR Mobile
If your grabbing girls bum at etc then you need to get ****ing laid.
Posted from TSR Mobile
OP, generally seems to be fairly standard female experience in clubs, particularly non-student nights, less so in bars, where guys are more inclined to just chat you up. If you see who it is tell a bouncer and they'll usually kick them out or duff them up round the back, depending on the sort of club.
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