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Meeting your 'soulmate' at a young age
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And also, it's one thing to waft around being incapable of looking at paperwork as an adult, but it's unconscionable in parents.
Can't cope with "bills and stuff"? Don't have children.
Can't cope with "bills and stuff"? Don't have children.
Original post by Teddysmith123
I think you can't really be in love when your young until you've been together for many years and moved in together. The reason is if you can libe with someone and be in a committed relationship with no strings then your in love. Thats love when you accept everything about the other person - dating is not the same. When you date you may believe you are in love but its more lust
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You can love someone without necessarily living with them. The general idea is to be in love before moving in together, not after.
Original post by Octopus_Garden
A relationship with senior/junior roles rather than equitable sharing of responsibilities makes the junior partner more vulnerable to abuse.
And as for the emboldened... Words temporarily failed me. It isn't about whether you want to deal with "bills and stuff"- it's about the fact it's part of being an adult, and you should be capable of it. If you've just signed it over to someone else and are existing in a child-like state, that's exactly what I mean.
So, what happens to the junior partner if the senior partner leaves, dies, or becomes ill, eh?
And as for the emboldened... Words temporarily failed me. It isn't about whether you want to deal with "bills and stuff"- it's about the fact it's part of being an adult, and you should be capable of it. If you've just signed it over to someone else and are existing in a child-like state, that's exactly what I mean.
So, what happens to the junior partner if the senior partner leaves, dies, or becomes ill, eh?
So? That doesn't mean the person will be abused. Drinking alcohol puts you at more risk of liver problems, doesn't mean it will actually happen
I am "capable" of it, however I prefer to let him deal with it while I sort out other things. I do not see what's wrong with that
Original post by Tyrion_Lannister
So? That doesn't mean the person will be abused. Drinking alcohol puts you at more risk of liver problems, doesn't mean it will actually happen
I am "capable" of it, however I prefer to let him deal with it while I sort out other things. I do not see what's wrong with that
I am "capable" of it, however I prefer to let him deal with it while I sort out other things. I do not see what's wrong with that
What's wrong with it (apart from your unintentionally revealing way of describing it earlier), is that you will, at best, have a very steep learning curve if anything happens to him, and that you are checking out of adulthood. You live with your partner. That means that anything he does has the potential to affect your credit rating if you do not keep your finances very carefully separate.
If you have joint finances, it is still your responsibility to yourself to take an interest in the money.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Octopus_Garden
Why set up a relationship so that one partner has to watch him/herself, in order to avoid the dynamic worsening?
What's wrong with it (apart from your unintentionally revealing way of describing it earlier), is that you will, at best, have a very steep learning curve if anything happens to him, and that you are checking out of adulthood. You live with your partner. That means that anything he does has the potential to affect your credit rating if you do not keep your finances very carefully separate.
If you have joint finances, it is still your responsibility to yourself to take an interest in the money.
What's wrong with it (apart from your unintentionally revealing way of describing it earlier), is that you will, at best, have a very steep learning curve if anything happens to him, and that you are checking out of adulthood. You live with your partner. That means that anything he does has the potential to affect your credit rating if you do not keep your finances very carefully separate.
If you have joint finances, it is still your responsibility to yourself to take an interest in the money.
Because if both parties are okay with it I don't see the problem.
I trust him
everyone's relationships are different but I trust my partner to deal with most of the financial stuff and he's okay with it. He's better at it than me.Original post by Tyrion_Lannister
Because if both parties are okay with it I don't see the problem.
I trust him everyone's relationships are different but I trust my partner to deal with most of the financial stuff and he's okay with it. He's better at it than me.
I trust him
everyone's relationships are different but I trust my partner to deal with most of the financial stuff and he's okay with it. He's better at it than me.You realise that one of you is going to die first? And that it could be him? Or that he could be hospitalised long-term after an accident? Or develop any one of the vast amount of diseases that require long-term hospitalisation? That'll be a nice homecoming. "Honey, I forgot to pay the bills, and got landed with late payment fees on top, and then I defaulted on the mortgage..."
Yes, he's presently better at it than you. This is not relevant. It is your job, as a young adult, to actually become competent, just like it was once your job to be toilet-trained and learn to use a knife and fork. Part of being an adult is being truly au fait with money.
You may be okay with it, but it is not good for either of you.
Besides, of course you trust him...You would have left him already if you didn't! That is not the same thing as him being worthy of trust.
I trust my husband. I'm still going to make sure we both have our name on the mortgage deeds.., I wouldn't want to have just my name on there and he wouldn't want to have just his, because part of loving someone else is not letting them put themselves in a position of vulnerability.
I dated a boy from 15 to 23 not really a soulmate like my current. i was just with him nearer the end because humans don't really like change. you get used to someone and it fits in with your current life.
my current bf is better marriage material and is actually less controlling and much nicer as a person.
my current bf is better marriage material and is actually less controlling and much nicer as a person.
Original post by Octopus_Garden
Again: why set up a relationship so that one partner has to watch him/herself, in order to avoid the dynamic worsening?
You realise that one of you is going to die first? And that it could be him? Or that he could be hospitalised long-term after an accident? Or develop any one of the vast amount of diseases that require long-term hospitalisation? That'll be a nice homecoming. "Honey, I forgot to pay the bills, and got landed with late payment fees on top, and then I defaulted on the mortgage..."
Yes, he's presently better at it than you. This is not relevant. It is your job, as a young adult, to actually become competent, just like it was once your job to be toilet-trained and learn to use a knife and fork. Part of being an adult is being truly au fait with money.
You may be okay with it, but it is not good for either of you.
Besides, of course you trust him...You would have left him already if you didn't! That is not the same thing as him being worthy of trust.
I trust my husband. I'm still going to make sure we both have our name on the mortgage deeds.., I wouldn't want to have just my name on there and he wouldn't want to have just his, because part of loving someone else is not letting them put themselves in a position of vulnerability.
You realise that one of you is going to die first? And that it could be him? Or that he could be hospitalised long-term after an accident? Or develop any one of the vast amount of diseases that require long-term hospitalisation? That'll be a nice homecoming. "Honey, I forgot to pay the bills, and got landed with late payment fees on top, and then I defaulted on the mortgage..."
Yes, he's presently better at it than you. This is not relevant. It is your job, as a young adult, to actually become competent, just like it was once your job to be toilet-trained and learn to use a knife and fork. Part of being an adult is being truly au fait with money.
You may be okay with it, but it is not good for either of you.
Besides, of course you trust him...You would have left him already if you didn't! That is not the same thing as him being worthy of trust.
I trust my husband. I'm still going to make sure we both have our name on the mortgage deeds.., I wouldn't want to have just my name on there and he wouldn't want to have just his, because part of loving someone else is not letting them put themselves in a position of vulnerability.
Because if neither parties care about that it's not a problem
Like I said I am capable of it and if I needed to, I could sort it out. However I do not.
Not really it's not my job to do anything, there's no conditions on being an adult!
I'm glad that works for you. But different things work for different people and there's not anything wrong with it!
Original post by Chellecharity
So do you reckon it's possible to meet your soulmate at a really young age ? Is it possible to be 'too young' to fall in love ?
I'm only 16 and feel for this 20 year old who I just can't seem to get over. It's been a year and it's like something keeps pulling me back ...
I'm only 16 and feel for this 20 year old who I just can't seem to get over. It's been a year and it's like something keeps pulling me back ...
im too tired to think so im just gonna give yeh a wee *hug*
When I first met the incredible human being who is now my girlfriend, I was 16 and she was 13. Despite the age gap, we quickly became best friends, and we've been inseparable ever since. I feel like she's the only person who completely understands me; she knows me better than I know myself. We've never had any serious arguments, and we even share some slightly odd habits (nothing ridiculously wacky, though!) It's our first relationship for us both, and there will be some inevitable criticism because we're both female, but I'll stand by my girlfriend no matter what. I can't imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone but her. I'd say as long as the age gap isn't prohibitive, I think it's possible to find someone at a young age.
One of our favourite songs is "Kissing In Cars" by Pierce The Veil, and I think these few lines essentially explain how I feel about this topic:
"She was always the one / I'll repeat it again / The one / No such thing as too young..."
One of our favourite songs is "Kissing In Cars" by Pierce The Veil, and I think these few lines essentially explain how I feel about this topic:
"She was always the one / I'll repeat it again / The one / No such thing as too young..."
(edited 9 years ago)
Me and my boyfriend are 19 we have been together for 3 years. We have lived together either me at his (6 months) him at mine with my family (10 months) we have been through some difficult times together and have come through the other side much better and stronger. We spend all of our time together and have done from the start. We were best friends for about 3 years before we started dating.
We each bring different things to the relationship im more focussed on cleaning organisation and general maintenance ( we live with my parents but both are away most of the time so I*also look after my little..but much taller 15 year old brother) He is about to study accountancy and helps with saving and budgeting. We can both forfill either role thats just the way it worked out for us.
I dont believe in soul mates, I believe some people are more compatible than others and it takes effort on both parts to make it successful. On the other hand I cant imagine my life without and without him id have a massive hole in my life.
We have talked about getting engaged this year, the only thing stopping me is the persecution I may face during my time at uni (I start on the 21st of this month as does he, we are going to the same uni just different halls as it allows us to save more effectively for our own flat in the second year). I know there is alot of prejudice about young couples in this day an age. And the general consensus is that we are all stupid naive douches but I think people are more mature than perceived and the mistakes of other people our age who are not as mature should not lead to an overall negative image.
We each bring different things to the relationship im more focussed on cleaning organisation and general maintenance ( we live with my parents but both are away most of the time so I*also look after my little..but much taller 15 year old brother) He is about to study accountancy and helps with saving and budgeting. We can both forfill either role thats just the way it worked out for us.
I dont believe in soul mates, I believe some people are more compatible than others and it takes effort on both parts to make it successful. On the other hand I cant imagine my life without and without him id have a massive hole in my life.
We have talked about getting engaged this year, the only thing stopping me is the persecution I may face during my time at uni (I start on the 21st of this month as does he, we are going to the same uni just different halls as it allows us to save more effectively for our own flat in the second year). I know there is alot of prejudice about young couples in this day an age. And the general consensus is that we are all stupid naive douches but I think people are more mature than perceived and the mistakes of other people our age who are not as mature should not lead to an overall negative image.
Original post by Tyrion_Lannister
Because if neither parties care about that it's not a problem
Like I said I am capable of it and if I needed to, I could sort it out. However I do not.
Not really it's not my job to do anything, there's no conditions on being an adult!
I'm glad that works for you. But different things work for different people and there's not anything wrong with it!
Like I said I am capable of it and if I needed to, I could sort it out. However I do not.
Not really it's not my job to do anything, there's no conditions on being an adult!
I'm glad that works for you. But different things work for different people and there's not anything wrong with it!
All the above is why people would worry about the age difference between a 17-year-old and a 21-year-old.
Who knows, I met my crush when I was almost 11 and I've loved him for 1-5 years and I just know he's the one so you never know 
Original post by Chellecharity
So do you reckon it's possible to meet your soulmate at a really young age ? Is it possible to be 'too young' to fall in love ?
I'm only 16 and feel for this 20 year old who I just can't seem to get over. It's been a year and it's like something keeps pulling me back ...
I'm only 16 and feel for this 20 year old who I just can't seem to get over. It's been a year and it's like something keeps pulling me back ...
(sigh..) Love, soulmates aren't real, but it's okay if you don't believe me: I used to believe in the same thing when I was your age.
I don't think you have only one soulmate. I think there are multiple people out there who are just right for you, so I guess I think you have a lot of soulmates to choose from.
I think you can meet your soulmate at a young age and know you've found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. However, I do think love is hard work. You will disagree. There will be times when things are rough. I think you know it's true love when you get through those things together. Your soulmate, imo, should be someone who inspires you to try and be the best version of yourself even when life is crap and you really don't want to be.
I'm 24, and I feel like I've found my soulmate. I've known her since 2014, but we got together at the start of this year, and, like, I just know. She's my best friend, and I can't imagine my world without her in it. This is the first relationship I've genuinely felt like this about. Her needs and aspirations feel just as important to me as my own.
OP, you very well might have found your soulmate, or you might not have. My advice is don't think too much about it. If you're happy, then go for it. Just because you're young and might break up in the future, it doesn't make your feelings right now any less valid. Do be wary of a 20 year old dating a 16 year old though. At 20, I would have never dreamed of dating someone who's only just finished their GCSEs.
I think you can meet your soulmate at a young age and know you've found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. However, I do think love is hard work. You will disagree. There will be times when things are rough. I think you know it's true love when you get through those things together. Your soulmate, imo, should be someone who inspires you to try and be the best version of yourself even when life is crap and you really don't want to be.
I'm 24, and I feel like I've found my soulmate. I've known her since 2014, but we got together at the start of this year, and, like, I just know. She's my best friend, and I can't imagine my world without her in it. This is the first relationship I've genuinely felt like this about. Her needs and aspirations feel just as important to me as my own.
OP, you very well might have found your soulmate, or you might not have. My advice is don't think too much about it. If you're happy, then go for it. Just because you're young and might break up in the future, it doesn't make your feelings right now any less valid. Do be wary of a 20 year old dating a 16 year old though. At 20, I would have never dreamed of dating someone who's only just finished their GCSEs.
(edited 5 years ago)
I have met my soulmate and I’m 12 if u love him do it sis <3
if u love him do it sis <3Related discussions
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