Cheated on gf - punished by instant karma... what to do :S

I haven't seen her yet or haven't told her yet.

I don't know why people are calling me selfish.. It would be selfish to just leave it and stay with my girlfriend knowing I can give her the disease.

And why does she "deserve to know" I have herpes? I mean it's my personal business, as long as I don't sleep with her anymore. I'm not being selfish, I'm thinking about both of our wellbeings.

I don't want to infect her but I don't want the public to know about this nasty disease either. Isn't there enough punishment for a little mistake in the fact that I'll have to carry herpes for life?

I'm starting to lean towards the option that I'll just break up with her. It won't be too random anyways, since we have had some trouble throughout our relationship which can be easily explained as the reason for wanting to break up. It'll be much better for her as well this way because she will remember me as the boyfriend with who things didn't just work out and we'll stay friends. Not the ******* boyfriend who wasted 2 years of her life and cheated and got herpes.

this is one of the most disgusting advices I've read and I don't know what kind of person would give such advice...
and I don't want to know either.

Oh yeah, wow. Just break up with her you unfaithful idiot. You weren't too drunk to say no to a blowie and you know it.

Even if you clear the infection, it will stay dormant and latent and can arise at any time. You are not clear for life, as you already know.

So you either tell her, but she'll break up with you, or you break up first and back out like a coward.

Either way she deserves better and you deserve to be alone. Mistake, pfft.

Not telling her the whole truth about this would be a completely despicable thing to do. Your girlfriend has the right to know that she could get an STI if she continues to sleep with you. She also has the right to know that you cheated on her.

That's what I probably do the disease is my personal business I don't want other people to know about it, except future long term partners of course.

I don't know why people are getting so offensive. I'm not planning to sleep with my girlfriend knowing I have it!

3. Not tell her anything, pretend that nothing happened and hope she is one of the 90% who never catch it from their HSV-2 positive partners. Stay on antivirals to even further reduce the risk of transmissioin.. Problem: If she gets the virus it would be an unforgivable thing to do to someone..

Hahah! Thanks!

I think if I were you and the relationship was probably not going to last anyway I would go with option four which is to break up with her.

Don't listen to any of these people telling you she has to know if you choose option four.

The only reason she she would have a right to know is if you choose to stay with her, I am not so sure about what your doctor said but whatever she said no matter who you have sex with it's not fair to be with them and not let them know. So whether you choose to continue seeing your partner or any future partners let them know about the condition.

One question though before you slept with that girl did you not have a good look at her body and notice any signs of an STD? I am guessing you were probably a bit drunk and did not pay good attention but this is a lesson in your life.

Whatever you do, do not fail to tell your girlfriend you have Herpes.

A guy went to jail recently for transmitting herpes to his girlfriend. He was prosecuted for grievous bodily harm when it was shown he was the only one who could have done it.

This was no dodgy crim, he was a decent, employed guy. His case went up to the Court of Appeal and his sentence was reduced and released on time served, but he did spend about 3 months in prison. Whatever you do, and this is exceptionally unfortunate, you must inform your partner or you risk imprisonment.

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2011/aug/19/jail-herpes-sexually-transmitted-infection

That's what I probably do the disease is my personal business I don't want other people to know about it, except future long term partners of course.

I don't know why people are getting so offensive. I'm not planning to sleep with my girlfriend knowing I have it!

Tell her you cheated on her, because as you said she deserves to know. If she decides to end things there's absolutely no reason to tell her about the herpes - it doesn't affect her anymore. If she decides to stay you need to tell her before having sex.

I've been with my gf for nearly 2 years, but recently I have been on long holidays traveling alone far away. I've never cheated on my gf before, but this time it happend. What I did was wrong, I'm not gonna defend myself but this is how it happened.

I was at a bar with 2 other guy friends and we met a group of nice 3 girls who stayed with us throughout the night chatting. 2 of them soon became closer with my friends, but i had 0 interest in the third one. Anyways it was time to go back to the hotel, then the 3rd girl started crying because she didn't want to be left alone. The two girls changed their minds and thought they'll go back all 3 to their hotel, which of course, was really annoying to my 2 friends.

My friend started telling me I should "take one for the team" and just take the girl to sleep in my room so they can get laid. After considering for a while very drunk I said fine she can come with me, because I know my friend would do the same for me. So the girl came to my room, I tried to just sleep but she started giving me oral and we ended up having sex. The condom broke but I switched to a new one after..

4 days later, I woke up with a weird blister on my penis. Now there is 3 of them: I got ****ing genital herpes! What a great souvenir to bring back home. I'm meeting my girlfriend in just a week. I'm currently on antiviral medication to get rid of the blisters, but I know I'll be stuck with the virus for life.

I don't know what to do.. I can't tell my girlfriend, but I can't not tell her either because she deserves to know that there is a risk of her catching it. I'm wondering what my options are..

1. Tell her the whole truth. - problem is that this would cause us to break up probably, and in the worst possible way. I don't think she would, but she could tell her friends about the disease as a revenge and they coould start spreading rumours.

2. Tell her I got the disease but that I believe I've got it years ago and it's just been asymptomatic. Don't tell her about cheating.. problem is, that herpes still sounds disgusting and it's not a very believable story since I've been away for so long.

3. Not tell her anything, pretend that nothing happened and hope she is one of the 90% who never catch it from their HSV-2 positive partners. Stay on antivirals to even further reduce the risk of transmissioin.. Problem: If she gets the virus it would be an unforgivable thing to do to someone..


Really don't know what to do here :O Condoms aren't an option either because we have never used them during the 2 years with my gf..

Dont tell her.

What you do is go to a sexual health clinic in the country you are in now,get the test,and the tablets and what not,then stay out there an extra week or two.
Tell her you decided to stay for another two weeks
Problem solved

That would be a good plan if it was any other STI such as Chlamydia or Syphillis, but herpes stayis in your body for life. I've managed to heal all the blisters 90% already with antivirals but even once it's gone there is a small possibiity that I could infect her, which would be a horrible and unacceptable thing to do.

Whatever you do, do not fail to tell your girlfriend you have Herpes.

A guy went to jail recently for transmitting herpes to his girlfriend. He was prosecuted for grievous bodily harm when it was shown he was the only one who could have done it.

This was no dodgy crim, he was a decent, employed guy. His case went up to the Court of Appeal and his sentence was reduced and released on time served, but he did spend about 3 months in prison. Whatever you do, and this is exceptionally unfortunate, you must inform your partner or you risk imprisonment.

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2011/aug/19/jail-herpes-sexually-transmitted-infection



What a strange response from Meduza! (If that is his/her real name) You'd think he/she might be grateful for being schooled by someone a little more experienced than they are.

It is because of people like Meduza that modern youths are shockingly ignorant of sexual health matters

As ever the voice of reason and logic in a murky murky pond of idiocy.

The cold icicles of my heart melt when I see you have quoted me.

Haha you are making me blush I would have thought you're more a voice of reason than I, given I can be a bit of an angry old troll sometimes; I like to put a bit of pepper on the gloves whereas you tend to respond with equanimity and good cheer.

Awesome wordsmithing on your part, by the way

Haha it was on the bus home after a few drinks...