Is it bad just wanting fun rather than a relationship?

Well I've just recently come out of a long term relationship and have realised the whole thing isn't really for me, at least not yet. So I was talking to my female friend about relationships and she was saying that I'm nice and it wouldn't take long for me to find someone else anyway, however I was thinking that I don't really want to have a girlfriend, I'd rather just have fun, with the casual sex( I think it's called friends with benefits, not commom with the term). Anyway so is it wrong that I want this rather than just a girlfriend, is it wrong that I don't mind having sex with a girl even though there would be no further relationship, for instance if I were to go to a party and met a girl later took her home or we chose to meet up with her, at what point should I tell her my intentions? I wouldn't want to lead anyone on! Oh TSRians please help!

Reply 1

shawn_o1

21

Don't rush it. Enjoy being single for a while, only return to the game when you're ready

Reply 2

SophieSmall

21

Absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting to be in a relationship and just wanting to have fun, you are right though to tell this girl your intentions and not to lead her on! I'd say maybe when you meet up with her, try to shift the conversation that way so you can say you just want it to be casual. Don't be to disheartened if she isn't okay with that though as there are girl who also just want casual out there.

Reply 3

Pseudocode

3

Not at all. Being single can be great as long as you want to be single and make the most of the extra freedom that you have. Sometimes it's great not having to compromise or fulfil commitments. Don't waste that time. Make the most of it before you decide to settle down later on in life.

Reply 4

CatnipGlows

20

Original post by Anonymous

Well I've just recently come out of a long term relationship and have realised the whole thing isn't really for me, at least not yet. So I was talking to my female friend about relationships and she was saying that I'm nice and it wouldn't take long for me to find someone else anyway, however I was thinking that I don't really want to have a girlfriend, I'd rather just have fun, with the casual sex( I think it's called friends with benefits, not commom with the term). Anyway so is it wrong that I want this rather than just a girlfriend, is it wrong that I don't mind having sex with a girl even though there would be no further relationship, for instance if I were to go to a party and met a girl later took her home or we chose to meet up with her, at what point should I tell her my intentions? I wouldn't want to lead anyone on! Oh TSRians please help!

I hope there's nothing wrong with it because I feel exactly the same as you.. same situation haha.

Reply 5

smeehan98

Nope. Not a problem. As for the "declaring of intentions" part...well you could always just go for the classic "wham bam thank you ma'am" approach.

If declaring it expressly's that important though, just tell her before you take her away from the party that you don't think relationships are for you but you enjoy the fun side of being single. If she agrees with you, chances are you're golden.

Reply 6

Juichiro

18

Original post by Pseudocode

Not at all. Being single can be great as long as you want to be single and make the most of the extra freedom that you have. Sometimes it's great not having to compromise or fulfil commitments. Don't waste that time. Make the most of it before you decide to settle down later on in life.

You are assuming OP will decide to settle down later on. That is as presumptuous as assuming that OP will eventually marry a middle class Christian English daughter of a wealthy man.

Reply 7

Tiger Rag

22

Not a problem. But I think you have to make it clear if you did get with someone.

Reply 8

Pseudocode

3

Original post by Juichiro

You are assuming OP will decide to settle down later on. That is as presumptuous as assuming that OP will eventually marry a middle class Christian English daughter of a wealthy man.

You are reading far too much into the text. Also, you assume that being presumptuous is always a bad thing when given the information presented by the OP, it was a fair statement to make. It is fair to suggest based on the evidence provided that the OP is likely to settle down in the future. Spare me the in depth analysis of my text in an attempt to make yourself look clever.

Reply 9

Juichiro

18

Original post by Pseudocode

You are reading far too much into the text. Also, you assume that being presumptuous is always a bad thing when given the information presented by the OP, it was a fair statement to make. It is fair to suggest based on the evidence provided that the OP is likely to settle down in the future. Spare me the in depth analysis of my text in an attempt to make yourself look clever.

Where exactly do you find this evidence? I think that the way you phrase it might make OP think that promiscuous behaviour is bad.

Reply 10

Keyboard369211

It's all up to the individual, just make sure you don't drag someone wanting serious into your 'fun', that can be very damaging

Y o l o

OP

Looking at the replies i'm assuming you all find it somewhat acceptable, the main thing is as @keyboard369211 stated, to make sure i don't drag the person into the fun...do many of you know if the majority of girls mind this kind of thing or is it normally avoided and they tend to look for permanent relationships?

Reply 13

Anonymous #2

you should enjoy being single. i went through a dark phase last year similar to you but now i love being single. i get so much freedom and time to do useful activities. (i dont have sex outside relationships) i was going to the gym and joining societies at my uni

Reply 14

Mankytoes

10

Yeah it's fine, the thing is when I felt the same I found out a lot more women wanted boyfriends than **** buddies. Unless you're a good looking guy, you might struggle with that.

Reply 15

redeleven

4

There is nothing wrong with it.

All the best

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 16

Juichiro

18

Original post by Mankytoes

Yeah it's fine, the thing is when I felt the same I found out a lot more women wanted boyfriends than **** buddies. Unless you're a good looking guy, you might struggle with that.