20 and never had a boyfriend?
I'm 20 and 2 months and never had a boyfriend, in my second year of uni and although i've spoken to a fair amount of boys it never seems to get to the 'boyfriend' stage.
The wrong timing is the most common, my most recent boy situation is that he has just got out a 2 and a half year relationship and can't commit to me he says.
I feel hopeless like i'll never find anyone, also very upset about the current situation as we get on so well.
Please help me!! and give me hope?!
The wrong timing is the most common, my most recent boy situation is that he has just got out a 2 and a half year relationship and can't commit to me he says.
I feel hopeless like i'll never find anyone, also very upset about the current situation as we get on so well.
Please help me!! and give me hope?!
Scroll to see replies
Original post by lousmithy
I'm 20 and 2 months and never had a boyfriend, in my second year of uni and although i've spoken to a fair amount of boys it never seems to get to the 'boyfriend' stage.
The wrong timing is the most common, my most recent boy situation is that he has just got out a 2 and a half year relationship and can't commit to me he says.
I feel hopeless like i'll never find anyone, also very upset about the current situation as we get on so well.
Please help me!! and give me hope?!
The wrong timing is the most common, my most recent boy situation is that he has just got out a 2 and a half year relationship and can't commit to me he says.
I feel hopeless like i'll never find anyone, also very upset about the current situation as we get on so well.
Please help me!! and give me hope?!
Lol keep searching, you'll get there soon enough.
You either get a bf or live long enough to see yourself become a mage
Maybe you are just doing something wrong and need to mix it up. Maybe you are doing nothing wrong and you are just unlucky. 
Keep trying
Keep trying
because you might dont need one
but keep looking for one
dunno what i am saying
but keep looking for one
dunno what i am saying
Why worry? 
Focus on your own life, improving yourself and so on.
People are attracted to other people who are successful in their lives; not those that are (I don't mean this offensively
) 'desperate' for a relationship.
Here's a piece of advice from reddit (it was aimed at a guy hence the 'dude') that I found useful:
===
I came here to say to OP "take your time dude" because crushes come and go. Find a hobby/many hobbies. Do things. While doing these things you enjoy (aka being happy) you're much more likely to find somebody with a compatible personality and that is also into YOU. Additionally, first dates are a breeze. Not only do you clearly have a mutual interest, but if you picked up more than one hobby now you have OTHER **** to talk about. Never forget to finish all stories or anecdotes about yourself with an open question to your date giving them a chance to talk about themselves.
Here's the thing. The old saying birds of a feather flock together is so true. And while you're busy being successful you'll find happiness with other great and motivated people. That's your crowd man. Dont meet a girl at a bar. The guys that end up with "girls from the bar" usually end up together not because of mutual habits, but mutual addictions or dependencies. Avoid that ****.
Focus on your personal happiness. Which means the happiness that DOESN'T come from a relationship. A relationship should add to your already maximum happiness. Not be the reason you're happy.Work hard, stay motivated, and find some good hobbies. Trust me. Being able to get laid on a whim is overrated. Bad relationships lead to bad breakups and heartache over **** you should never have stressed.<--- this is a particularly repeatable cycle, I speak from experience.
Focus on your own life, improving yourself and so on. People are attracted to other people who are successful in their lives; not those that are (I don't mean this offensively
) 'desperate' for a relationship.Here's a piece of advice from reddit (it was aimed at a guy hence the 'dude') that I found useful:
===
I came here to say to OP "take your time dude" because crushes come and go. Find a hobby/many hobbies. Do things. While doing these things you enjoy (aka being happy) you're much more likely to find somebody with a compatible personality and that is also into YOU. Additionally, first dates are a breeze. Not only do you clearly have a mutual interest, but if you picked up more than one hobby now you have OTHER **** to talk about. Never forget to finish all stories or anecdotes about yourself with an open question to your date giving them a chance to talk about themselves.
Here's the thing. The old saying birds of a feather flock together is so true. And while you're busy being successful you'll find happiness with other great and motivated people. That's your crowd man. Dont meet a girl at a bar. The guys that end up with "girls from the bar" usually end up together not because of mutual habits, but mutual addictions or dependencies. Avoid that ****.
Focus on your personal happiness. Which means the happiness that DOESN'T come from a relationship. A relationship should add to your already maximum happiness. Not be the reason you're happy.Work hard, stay motivated, and find some good hobbies. Trust me. Being able to get laid on a whim is overrated. Bad relationships lead to bad breakups and heartache over **** you should never have stressed.<--- this is a particularly repeatable cycle, I speak from experience.
Original post by lousmithy
I'm 20 and 2 months and never had a boyfriend, in my second year of uni and although i've spoken to a fair amount of boys it never seems to get to the 'boyfriend' stage.
The wrong timing is the most common, my most recent boy situation is that he has just got out a 2 and a half year relationship and can't commit to me he says.
I feel hopeless like i'll never find anyone, also very upset about the current situation as we get on so well.
Please help me!! and give me hope?!
The wrong timing is the most common, my most recent boy situation is that he has just got out a 2 and a half year relationship and can't commit to me he says.
I feel hopeless like i'll never find anyone, also very upset about the current situation as we get on so well.
Please help me!! and give me hope?!
Ok what I'm about to say is gunna sound harsh and I'm sorry if it comes across that way...but get a grip, you're 20, not approaching 50 ok? slightly bitch comment over haha, again soory if it seems harsh
! The chances of you finding someone in uni is very slim due to the hookup culture, and todays views on relationships. A lot of people in uni just want to get as many knobs on the bedpost, scores on the doors etc. They don't want to commit because they like having the ability to hook up with anyone at any time without cheating. Which when you think about it, is actually better than being with someone who will cheat every chance they get, male or female, I know plenty of both gender cheaters. Trust me when I say enjoy your time as a single person, once you get into a relationship, yeah it's great, but you'll most likely stop doing things you can do now. Focus on uni, go out and party, meet people. Don't try and tie yourself down at the age of 20.
Don't get me wrong, I'm old school when it comes to relationships, you both commit, you both work hard, you do cute things, you surprise each other etc, but men (a lot of women too I suppose) in their 20's, even up to their late 20', I doubt even a third of them are looking for relationships. I had a long distance relationship (coincidently my only relationship) when I was 20, I never got to see him, and everytime we tried to arrange seeing each other something came up on his end, and he had to cancel. I called it quits after 4 months, and you know what, best decision ever. I love being single, being able to go wherever I want, speak to whoever I want and not have someone looking over my shoulder to make sure it's not flirting or someone getting jealous. Seriously go and enjoy single life, grab some mates and do what you do, whether it's a night in watching films with a bottle of Prosecco, a game night with takeaway and beer, or a night out trying to find the worlds most rancid shot for £1, just enjoy it, you'll meet someone when you least expect it. Trust me.
Original post by Inexorably
Why worry? Focus on your own life, improving yourself and so on.
People are attracted to other people who are successful in their lives; not those that are (I don't mean this offensively) 'desperate' for a relationship.
Here's a piece of advice from reddit (it was aimed at a guy hence the 'dude'
that I found useful:
===
I came here to say to OP "take your time dude" because crushes come and go. Find a hobby/many hobbies. Do things. While doing these things you enjoy (aka being happy) you're much more likely to find somebody with a compatible personality and that is also into YOU. Additionally, first dates are a breeze. Not only do you clearly have a mutual interest, but if you picked up more than one hobby now you have OTHER **** to talk about. Never forget to finish all stories or anecdotes about yourself with an open question to your date giving them a chance to talk about themselves.
Here's the thing. The old saying birds of a feather flock together is so true. And while you're busy being successful you'll find happiness with other great and motivated people. That's your crowd man. Dont meet a girl at a bar. The guys that end up with "girls from the bar" usually end up together not because of mutual habits, but mutual addictions or dependencies. Avoid that ****.
Focus on your personal happiness. Which means the happiness that DOESN'T come from a relationship. A relationship should add to your already maximum happiness. Not be the reason you're happy.Work hard, stay motivated, and find some good hobbies. Trust me. Being able to get laid on a whim is overrated. Bad relationships lead to bad breakups and heartache over **** you should never have stressed.<--- this is a particularly repeatable cycle, I speak from experience.
Focus on your own life, improving yourself and so on. People are attracted to other people who are successful in their lives; not those that are (I don't mean this offensively
) 'desperate' for a relationship.Here's a piece of advice from reddit (it was aimed at a guy hence the 'dude'
that I found useful:===
I came here to say to OP "take your time dude" because crushes come and go. Find a hobby/many hobbies. Do things. While doing these things you enjoy (aka being happy) you're much more likely to find somebody with a compatible personality and that is also into YOU. Additionally, first dates are a breeze. Not only do you clearly have a mutual interest, but if you picked up more than one hobby now you have OTHER **** to talk about. Never forget to finish all stories or anecdotes about yourself with an open question to your date giving them a chance to talk about themselves.
Here's the thing. The old saying birds of a feather flock together is so true. And while you're busy being successful you'll find happiness with other great and motivated people. That's your crowd man. Dont meet a girl at a bar. The guys that end up with "girls from the bar" usually end up together not because of mutual habits, but mutual addictions or dependencies. Avoid that ****.
Focus on your personal happiness. Which means the happiness that DOESN'T come from a relationship. A relationship should add to your already maximum happiness. Not be the reason you're happy.Work hard, stay motivated, and find some good hobbies. Trust me. Being able to get laid on a whim is overrated. Bad relationships lead to bad breakups and heartache over **** you should never have stressed.<--- this is a particularly repeatable cycle, I speak from experience.
Yes desperate-ness is ugly
So you get a boyfriend and then what? Being in a relationship isn't that woo amazing, it's nice but it's not the route to all happiness. Don't worry you're still young get yourself an awesome job, workout ( you may find someone at the gym) finish school meet people and everything will fall into place.
) finish school meet people and everything will fall into place.At your age I never had a boyfriend too! You're still young, he'll come when u least expect it.
You're at uni - make the most out of it as the opportunities are greatest there. No pressure 
I've given similar advice to other people on here but here is the main point of it - your worth and value as a human being is not dictated by whether you're in a relationship or not.
For someone people, it happens earlier. For someone people, it happens later. But it is going to happen, you are going to find someone who wants you, for who you are in particular. Someone who is going to want to commit, someone who is want to be your boyfriend specifically. If you want a healthy, happy, fulfilling relationship, don't worry so much about when it'll happen. It's important HOW it will happen, and with whom.
Don't despair. One of my best friends found her boyfriend when she was twenty-four and she's never been in a relationship before that. She couldn't be happier and they're both each other's first and thinking of marriage. When it happens, you'll just look back and laugh at how silly it was to worry about it. Until then, love yourself and appreciate yourself.
Best wishes.
For someone people, it happens earlier. For someone people, it happens later. But it is going to happen, you are going to find someone who wants you, for who you are in particular. Someone who is going to want to commit, someone who is want to be your boyfriend specifically. If you want a healthy, happy, fulfilling relationship, don't worry so much about when it'll happen. It's important HOW it will happen, and with whom.
Don't despair. One of my best friends found her boyfriend when she was twenty-four and she's never been in a relationship before that. She couldn't be happier and they're both each other's first and thinking of marriage. When it happens, you'll just look back and laugh at how silly it was to worry about it. Until then, love yourself and appreciate yourself.
Best wishes.
What's other are saying is right, don't worry it will happen. I didn't have my first boyfriend till I was 23, am 27 now and we are still together, each other's first and engaged to get married.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
Just keep trying, you will find someone, there is someone for everyone, that is why you see so many school children that will forever exist (year 2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11)- everyone has someone.
Have you tried online dating, speed dating, joining clubs?
Be confident in yourself, show off your sensuality, be light hearted. Just hang in there! Things happen when we least expect it and don't need it, love others and love will find you, see the beauty in everyone, be the person you want to seek and be patient.
Good luck
Have you tried online dating, speed dating, joining clubs?
Be confident in yourself, show off your sensuality, be light hearted. Just hang in there! Things happen when we least expect it and don't need it, love others and love will find you, see the beauty in everyone, be the person you want to seek and be patient.
Good luck
Original post by Inexorably
Why worry? Focus on your own life, improving yourself and so on.
People are attracted to other people who are successful in their lives; not those that are (I don't mean this offensively) 'desperate' for a relationship.
Here's a piece of advice from reddit (it was aimed at a guy hence the 'dude' that I found useful:
===
I came here to say to OP "take your time dude" because crushes come and go. Find a hobby/many hobbies. Do things. While doing these things you enjoy (aka being happy) you're much more likely to find somebody with a compatible personality and that is also into YOU. Additionally, first dates are a breeze. Not only do you clearly have a mutual interest, but if you picked up more than one hobby now you have OTHER **** to talk about. Never forget to finish all stories or anecdotes about yourself with an open question to your date giving them a chance to talk about themselves.
Here's the thing. The old saying birds of a feather flock together is so true. And while you're busy being successful you'll find happiness with other great and motivated people. That's your crowd man. Dont meet a girl at a bar. The guys that end up with "girls from the bar" usually end up together not because of mutual habits, but mutual addictions or dependencies. Avoid that ****.
Focus on your personal happiness. Which means the happiness that DOESN'T come from a relationship. A relationship should add to your already maximum happiness. Not be the reason you're happy.Work hard, stay motivated, and find some good hobbies. Trust me. Being able to get laid on a whim is overrated. Bad relationships lead to bad breakups and heartache over **** you should never have stressed.<--- this is a particularly repeatable cycle, I speak from experience.
Focus on your own life, improving yourself and so on. People are attracted to other people who are successful in their lives; not those that are (I don't mean this offensively
) 'desperate' for a relationship.Here's a piece of advice from reddit (it was aimed at a guy hence the 'dude'
that I found useful:===
I came here to say to OP "take your time dude" because crushes come and go. Find a hobby/many hobbies. Do things. While doing these things you enjoy (aka being happy) you're much more likely to find somebody with a compatible personality and that is also into YOU. Additionally, first dates are a breeze. Not only do you clearly have a mutual interest, but if you picked up more than one hobby now you have OTHER **** to talk about. Never forget to finish all stories or anecdotes about yourself with an open question to your date giving them a chance to talk about themselves.
Here's the thing. The old saying birds of a feather flock together is so true. And while you're busy being successful you'll find happiness with other great and motivated people. That's your crowd man. Dont meet a girl at a bar. The guys that end up with "girls from the bar" usually end up together not because of mutual habits, but mutual addictions or dependencies. Avoid that ****.
Focus on your personal happiness. Which means the happiness that DOESN'T come from a relationship. A relationship should add to your already maximum happiness. Not be the reason you're happy.Work hard, stay motivated, and find some good hobbies. Trust me. Being able to get laid on a whim is overrated. Bad relationships lead to bad breakups and heartache over **** you should never have stressed.<--- this is a particularly repeatable cycle, I speak from experience.
Absolutely great advice! This post deserves 5 stars.
Original post by lousmithy
I'm 20 and 2 months and never had a boyfriend, in my second year of uni and although i've spoken to a fair amount of boys it never seems to get to the 'boyfriend' stage.
The wrong timing is the most common, my most recent boy situation is that he has just got out a 2 and a half year relationship and can't commit to me he says.
I feel hopeless like i'll never find anyone, also very upset about the current situation as we get on so well.
Please help me!! and give me hope?!
The wrong timing is the most common, my most recent boy situation is that he has just got out a 2 and a half year relationship and can't commit to me he says.
I feel hopeless like i'll never find anyone, also very upset about the current situation as we get on so well.
Please help me!! and give me hope?!
I had never had a "proper" (i.e. lasted more than 2-3 weeks) gf until I was 26. I'm now married to her.
I wouldn't worry too much about it, you'll find someone who's right for you eventually, and you're not wasting time on dead ends.
Best of luck!
I am a single bloke, and I know it can really suck (although I kinda got over not having an SO, seems like a ton of needless drama).
Honestly, what I would do is find a single guy who you are attracted to, and show it as directly as you can without asking out directly. Eventually the guy will get the message, although whether or not they like you is their prerogative. If they don't want you, just move on to the next single guy.
Honestly, what I would do is find a single guy who you are attracted to, and show it as directly as you can without asking out directly. Eventually the guy will get the message, although whether or not they like you is their prerogative. If they don't want you, just move on to the next single guy.
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