My boyfriend got 4 U's and he doesn't care...

Grr.

And now he's sure that he will be able to re sit everything alongside his A2 year and do well. He wants to get into Surrey and that needs ABB so yeah.

But he doesn't care which really bugs me. He said he doesn't regret not working and can just do it all next year. I mean he probably is able to do it clever-wise but over 2 years not one.

And he says that I shouldn't get annoyed at him for not working or not caring about college- I mean he bareley turned up and was suprised when I got annoyed.

Anyone know anything that I can say to him to maybe push him in the right direction or to justify my annoyed-ness cause I can't really explain it.

(Not sure if this should go here or H&R... not sure)

Thanks

Reply 1

random321

so? its his life if he doesn't want to care he doesn't need to, let him deal with it himself

Reply 2

Noémie

17

if it were ME, i wouldn't go out with someone who had so little drive.
that's a personal thing.

you're annoyed because you worked hard to get what you got.
he didn't work hard and thinks he can still do as well as you.
you dont think he has the right to do as well as you because he didnt work as hard as you.
correct? or am i rather far off the mark :P

Reply 3

Sarahl89

15

Is the college letting him back in? I really doubt they will let him take the A2 year anyway with such low AS grades. At my college, if you achieved less than 2 D grades at AS, they would invite you for an 'interview' the week after results, where they would effectively ask you to either leave the college of your own accord or be chucked out..

Reply 4

DJkG.1

17

You really can’t in my experience. A person will work as hard as is in their nature, irrespective of their intelligence, unless they are in the environment which makes them work like at a boarding school.

The more people that display concern over his results, the more annoyed he will get and this will come out on you most probably. He will work as hard as he wants, I’m sure he knows that 4 Us isn’t going to get him into uni – so don’t keep nagging him and telling him stuff that he already knows, just make sure he knows you care and want him to do well.

Freaking out won’t make him work any harder. Sorry I couldn't help more.

Reply 5

mariska99

TBH, even tho you care enough to want him to do well, and to want him to care about his future, sometimes a person just doesn't want to bother and usually in these cases words won't be much of a push (I know, I've been in your guy's shoes). If he really wants to get good grades/go to uni, he'll go for it but until he truly wants it, there's not much you can do. This is something only he can figure out, and all you can do is be there.

I know you're annoyed at him, and probably rightly so, but you can't bring it on yourself to make him care about his own education - that's his job. Just be there, whether he succeeds or fails.

Of course, if you keep getting annoyed about it, tell him why it's bugging you and just ask him to consider his future a little, because you're only looking out for him because you care. He can't really fault you for caring.

Reply 6

StarMeKitten

OP

Noémie

if it were ME, i wouldn't go out with someone who had so little drive.
that's a personal thing.

you're annoyed because you worked hard to get what you got.
he didn't work hard and thinks he can still do as well as you.
you dont think he has the right to do as well as you because he didnt work as hard as you.
correct? or am i rather far off the mark :P

I think you're right, but it sounds so mean on my behalf.

And his lack of drive does wind me up- but he doesn't seem to have little drive but he just is so lazy.

And I know i should let him off as it's his life, but I feel like I have to say something to him, and I dunno what to as I KNOW he can do better but he just doesn't bother.

Rarh.

Reply 7

Shadow120

Good for him. You shouldn't be so pushy.

I want to shake his hand.

Reply 8

nolongerhearthemusic

13

What kind of school/college lets you continue with a course you got a U in?

Reply 9

StarMeKitten

OP

Shadow120

Good for him. You shouldn't be so pushy.

I want to shake his hand.

Lol.

I am a pushy person, and bossy!

And I'm only trying to look out for him, but not trying to show I'm annoyed as his mum is super angry.

Needed a little vent really.

And to the person who said they won't let him back, I'm all worried about that but I bet the thought hasn't crossed his mind.

Hmm.

I sound super duper whiney :frown:

Reply 10

Mark266

you MUST dump him asap

Reply 11

death.drop

16

i've been the person who doesn't try and doesn't do well.

the last thing you want, and the last thing that will help motivate you, is your other half nagging.

he will already know everything you're saying to him, so what's the point in saying it?

fair enough, say you're annoyed with his attitude, but don't make it in to a big deal.

Reply 12

Aconite

17

Shadow120

I want to shake his hand.

Do you? It's probably got tortilla chip grease and kebab residue all over it.

Reply 13

JoeJBB

13

nolongerhearthemusic

What kind of school/college lets you continue with a course you got a U in?

After my AS year (2005), Psychology did, because over 50% of people got a U. But we had a joke of a teacher who'd never done Psychology, took the A Level at the same time as us, and failed it. He didn't come back.

Reply 14

Shadow120

Letters on a piece of paper don't make or break your life, unless he wants to be VERY academic. In most lives, A-levels are about 1% of what will propel you in a career.

I know people on a forum created for exams wont agree with me, but it's true for the most part.

Reply 15

Profesh

20

No-one possessed of any semblance of intellect would be capable of a 'U' grade, assuming they actually attended their exams and were sufficiently conscious to write their own name. So, it seems relatively likely that your boyfriend is deluding himself.

Reply 16

Nadinus

1

Well if he doesn't mind having to resit a year I don't see what the problem is. If he's generally lazy and unmotivated/has no ambitions then that might be a problem for you but he's aiming for ABB - good for him. Sounds unrealistic to do that in a year but I don't see why you should care that he's not going around worrying about it. Some people don't get worked up about things.

Reply 17

JocastaJackal

15

Aconite

Do you? It's probably got tortilla chip grease and kebab residue all over it.

Haha.

Your boyfriend seems to have a deluded outlook on his A-levels, and unfortunately if getting four U's doesn't scare him into pulling himself together, I don't know what will.

Reply 18

foxo

17

Aconite

Do you? It's probably got tortilla chip grease and kebab residue all over it.

Hey, I never bothered going to school or doing my homework and I don't like tortillas.

I am partial to the odd kebab though.

That said, I didn't fail anything. Watching television proved enough to get As and Bs in the supposedly difficult traditional subjects.

Reply 19

StarMeKitten

OP

Aconite

Do you? It's probably got tortilla chip grease and kebab residue all over it.

That's a little bit harsh.

Just cause he's super lazy academic-wise but he's not in other aspects of his life and he's super healthy. Puts me to shame.

Grr!

And I'm hearing what people are saying- and I shall not say anything to him about it. Let him make his own decisions etc.

My boyfriend got 4 U's and he doesn't care...

Related discussions

Latest

Trending

Trending

Articles for you