Doubts about studying medicine

I'm a 2nd year med student, and I've kind of been doubting my decision to study med for the past few months. I've been struggling to focus in classes, and I've been below average in most of my scores, even for tests that I felt confident in :frown:

I'm just not sure if I'm cut out for medicine? I mean, a lot of people have told me that it's normal to feel this way, and that getting low scores doesn't mean being a bad doctor, but I think with how difficult the past two years have been it's really impacted my confidence towards medicine, to the point where I'm not even sure why I chose to do this degree in the first place

I used to be a straight A student, and now I'm struggling to pass my exams (and yes, I know this story is probably extremely common across all medical schools, and I'm definitely not the first or the last person to say this), but it still feels like a huge shock - plus the fact that my parents have a lot of expectations on me, and I feel like I'm not able to match those expectations. And I'm also really worried about failing medical school, and having to drop out/resit a year.

I've also realised just how little free time medical school leaves you with? before I started this degree, I knew it would be busy, but now I find that I've not had much free time at all. I really enjoy being creative, and I wanted to write and draw more, but it feels like I never have the chance to because my free time is spent worrying over my Anki, or trying to catch up to the next lecture. So it just feels like if I wasn't doing medicine anymore, I'd have so much more free time to do what I liked, be able to sleep in properly etc.

I think the last straw for me as to posting this was the fact that I've just finished my end-of-year exams (hopefully end-of-year, unless I fail in which case I'll have to resit them towards June), but during the revision period I wasn't able to sit down and study at all? I just could not focus on anything that I was reading, and I kept ending up doing other things. I may have ADHD which I'm getting checked out, but it's not usually to this degree. And when my friends were quizzing each other on stuff, I found that I didn't know what they were saying (even though I should have)... so I'm not sure if I'm cut out for this anymore

I'm starting clinical year in Sept so I'm hoping that will be more fun for me, but I'm worried that I'm going to go into it and end up hating it.. and then I'll not have anything to love in medicine anymore.

Sorry for the long post, but it would be great if anyone could give me advice for how they coped with feeling like this, or someone who's felt the same? It would be really helpful :')