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Ask a Transwoman!

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Original post by kb5462
Do you feel well-represented (or are your concerns/issues/viewpoints well-represented) in parliament, as someone who is transgendered?

I've always wondered this, because it's obviously a topic that (not necessarily rightly) isn't always hugely discussed.


nope.. not overly :smile:

though I wouldnt expect there to be a trans member of parliment.. it wold be nice if there were :smile:

We can get ignored though..

exsamples being in the recent equal-marriage debates, where the whole thing passed through with very little mention of its effect on trans people..

And when problems were raised, such as the implications of the spousal-veto that was included in the bill, - they were very easily brushed off..

Legally, currently, we have 90% of what we need.. so its not a huge huge deal, we have our anti-discrimintion laws, we are included in the equality act 2010, and have the gender recognition act 2004, protecting our gender identities, and providing a way to legally change our gender..
so mostly, we are pretty covered legally..

The only couple of final problems, are the 2-3 minor issues with the equal marriage act.. and the recent legal cases of trans-men being taken to court for not disclosing their gender identity, prior to sex..

- so to answer your question as best as I can:

I would love a trans MP
But I do not expect one, or ever want one to be mandated in..

It would help a lot, and make our lives easier
- but more because it would be a powerful, public trans figure -- rather then the need for transgender laws/goverment action.. which by and large, is pretty good already.
Original post by syrettd
Yeah, I do agree that getting the surgery on the NHS is fine, and she even mentioned how she wanted bigger breasts but they wouldn't pay so she got them privately, which despite my hatred for her earlier comments made me a bit impressed- she could have so easily been the next Josie Cunningham and squeezed the life out of the NHS.

The articles I read are always the controversy causing ones, and they always stick in my mind. Like the one with the man who wants to reverse his surgery. He was advocating stricter controls on how trans people go about getting hormones and surgery. It could be a fair comment, I suppose, but in his story his treatment was decades ago, and he went to the doctor about cross dressing and was immendiately given hormones. Then he went back a few years later about depression, and the GP convinced him surgery would make him happy. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but from what you've said about current NHS practises, this would NEVER happen now. So what he was saying seemed, to me, that it could be quite harmful to the trans community in that people could just go 'well you might change your mind in five years, doctors shouldn't give you those hormones'.


mm the way he was treated does sound very out-dated :smile:

These days there are very very strict procedures that have to be followed, and you will never get sugery on the NHS without atleast going through 12 months of living as yourself, 12 months of Hormone therapy - and a butt-load of councelling sessions, therapy sessions, analaysis etc :smile:
What features are you most attracted to in men and women? Like do you find the typically attractive people attractive or not so much?

also not related to my other question but do you think trans/sexuality should be looked at in school as a way of helping people become more tolerant? and if so at what age?
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by Jdizzle15
What features are you most attracted to in men and women? Like do you find the typically attractive people attractive or not so much?

also not related to my other question but do you think trans/sexuality should be looked at in school as a way of helping people become more tolerant? and if so at what age?


honestly, I really don't mind peoples physical appearance.

I guess, it comes from having to live a life, where you spend every day activly trying to forget what you look like, and ignore what others look like..
- when thats the way you have to live, for years, you kind of stop thinking of people as attractive/ugly and in physical ways.

The last few people Ive dated have been very varied, guys/girls, of different body shapes.

Fat/thin/tall/short/musculer/pretty - it really doesnt matter :smile:

The person who I will fall for will be the one who is kind, makes me feel like myeslf, makes me feel safe - helps me through the hard times, loves me for who I am etc..

(though it should be noted, dispite not having any physical hang-ups on peple.. I am quite fussy when it comes to people, personality wise etc :tongue: )
Reply 324
Original post by fallen_acorns
eek, its confusing!

it depends on the individual..

Transgender, is relating to someones gender, (man/women/other)

Sexuality though, is something completly different, and not connected :smile: (gay, lesbian, straight etc)

So trans people can like anyone, or any combination of people.. - just in the same way that non-trans people will :smile:

--

Though it does become more confusing with trans people.. especially pre-op.

Because ofcourse the gender and body, dont match.. terms for relationships can become tricky.. and often it can become a grey-area,

with a lesbian dating a trans man,
A bisexual not liking trans people at all,
A straight guy having a crush on a trans girl..

Etc. - it makes the labels confusing, and can all get a bit muddled..

Though there certianly are lots of people who like, and will date trans people, and will love us for who we are :smile:


Thank You for answering....you're lovely :biggrin:

Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by spun29
Thank You for answering....you're lovely :biggrin:

Posted from TSR Mobile


aww, thank you :colondollar:
Hi. This is really interesting, I hope everything has gone well for you. I have a question: do you think differently after having hormone theraphy? Ive read some stuff about hormone treatment, and apparently some people actually start to think like the other gender; becoming more emphatic, having generally more 'feminine' interests e.c.t. Also will it affect athleticism significantly, since men and women are built quite differently in that respect. Hope that question isn't too personal. Thanks.
Original post by QuantumOverlord
Hi. This is really interesting, I hope everything has gone well for you. I have a question: do you think differently after having hormone theraphy? Ive read some stuff about hormone treatment, and apparently some people actually start to think like the other gender; becoming more emphatic, having generally more 'feminine' interests e.c.t. Also will it affect athleticism significantly, since men and women are built quite differently in that respect. Hope that question isn't too personal. Thanks.


eek, in terms of mood/hormones, its quite hard to tell..

it effects everyone different - and you have to remember that a lot of trans people will take hormones in their early stages of transitioning.. during that time they are also experiamenting, and experiancing a lot of things for the first time :smile: - trans girls who can finally feel ok about enjoying female interests, and trans men who can finally dress the way they like etc.
A lot of the personality changes will probably be as a result of them finally being themselves, and experssing their identity more freely, rather then because of the hormones :smile:

That said, HRT can have effects on your temperment,

for instance testosterone can make trans men more competative, easily angered, restless etc..

Whereas female hormones, are fairly well documented to have a calming effect. ( can testify to this :smile: ) - they can generally make you less competitve, more relaxed, more calm - though in equal messure, more emotional, and with a slightly wider emotional scope :smile:
- alot of trans women report being able to cry a lot more, post-hormones, and getting upset over small things that wouldnt have bothered them before.. etc.

So overal:

Yes, hormones do have some effects on your personality and the way you think, but those effects can be hard to defrencaite from the effects of coming out, and the liberation of being yourself -- which all can happen around the same time :smile:
LILY, you seem to have been quiet for a while but now you're back!
How's it going?
I had a question, but then I had a glass of wine, so I've forgotten... I'll let you know if I remember.
Original post by minimarshmallow
LILY, you seem to have been quiet for a while but now you're back!
How's it going?
I had a question, but then I had a glass of wine, so I've forgotten... I'll let you know if I remember.


heya :biggrin:

Ive still been about, but its summer, so im far away from my lovely LGBT-y life, and all my campaigning and activism :frown:

still been on tsr, just lurking on other parts of the forum :smile:

- a trans thread like tonight though, is all it takes to get me to come out of hiding! :biggrin:

+ awwwwww! I want wine now! :frown:

Though back at uni I drink far to much wine..

I dont have a rolling pin - yet I bake a lot of cakes..

So in first year, I found that a bottle of wine, makes a good rolling pin-subistite :smile:

3 years later, I still go out and buy a fresh bottle of wine, every time I bake a cake.. - then get gradually more and more tipsy, whilst baking away :biggrin:

*I have a sad life* :tongue:

(though once, when I made a massive rainbow-vagina cake, for our general LGBT meeting.. being drunk actually helped.....)

- anyway -

How are you? :smile:
Original post by fallen_acorns
heya :biggrin:

Ive still been about, but its summer, so im far away from my lovely LGBT-y life, and all my campaigning and activism :frown:

still been on tsr, just lurking on other parts of the forum :smile:

- a trans thread like tonight though, is all it takes to get me to come out of hiding! :biggrin:

+ awwwwww! I want wine now! :frown:

Though back at uni I drink far to much wine..

I dont have a rolling pin - yet I bake a lot of cakes..

So in first year, I found that a bottle of wine, makes a good rolling pin-subistite :smile:

3 years later, I still go out and buy a fresh bottle of wine, every time I bake a cake.. - then get gradually more and more tipsy, whilst baking away :biggrin:

*I have a sad life* :tongue:

(though once, when I made a massive rainbow-vagina cake, for our general LGBT meeting.. being drunk actually helped.....)

- anyway -

How are you? :smile:


I baked today sober and burnt my cakes, then started drinking and the ones I baked while drinking came out better. Just icing them now.
I also cut myself at work earlier :frown:
Original post by minimarshmallow
I baked today sober and burnt my cakes, then started drinking and the ones I baked while drinking came out better. Just icing them now.
I also cut myself at work earlier :frown:


ooo.. maybe there is sometihng to this drunken-baking thing, will have to experiment more :tongue:

+ aww, not nice at all :frown:
Do you think that Cis-LGB's do enough to help their T allies?
Original post by gagaslilmonsteruk
Do you think that Cis-LGB's do enough to help their T allies?


oo, thats a hard one..

without giving a hugely long answer, I would have to say;

Currently yes,

Historically no.

-- currently there is great support, with nearly all groups being T inclusive, and supportive - most cmapaigns I see these days also include trans people, and increasingly LGB people are speaking out and standing up for us :smile:

-- though historically its been the oposite, especially in the earlier days of the LGB movement, - around the 70's/80's where groups were activly dissassosiating themselves from trans people, to try and apeal to the straight conservative majority of the time.. - not to mention some of the things the 'leaders' of the equality movement, were sayign about trans peopel back then.. :frown:
the legacy of this can still be seen, in large organisations like stonewall, still maintaining their LGB status, - and old feminist/equality campaigners, still holding on to well outdated opinions of trans women..
Thanks for your answer to my previous question. Really interesting to hear from your perspective. Could I ask: have you ever considered not getting lower surgery because if you end up with a girl friend (you said you were attracted to both sexes) you could still potentially conceive?
Reply 335
Original post by fallen_acorns
I dont have a rolling pin - yet I bake a lot of cakes..

So in first year, I found that a bottle of wine, makes a good rolling pin-subistite :smile:


Totally stealing this idea!
So just curious, what happens to the penis exactly? Does it get folded in to create a vagina?

And what if it was female to male, how would a penis be made from the vagina?
Original post by QuantumOverlord
Thanks for your answer to my previous question. Really interesting to hear from your perspective. Could I ask: have you ever considered not getting lower surgery because if you end up with a girl friend (you said you were attracted to both sexes) you could still potentially conceive?


um, its a bit more tricky then that,

HRT (hormone therapy) has a high chance of making trans people infirtle, - you have to be on HRT for atleast a year before surgery, so chances are you wouldnt be able to have kids anyway..

Trans poeple can though, deposit sperm into storage places, prior to starting HRT, and have that kept just incase they ever did want a biological child :smile:

- this though, wasnt an option for me, as I couldnt afford it at the time.. but wasnt in a position to pass up hormones..

by and large it doesnt bother me though.. - sure its an issue that I can never have children.. but I tend not to think of it as a 'trans' issue.. just an issue that needs to be dealth with in the same way as any other women who cant concieve/have children :smile:

- the feelings I have towards not ever being able to be pregant, are probably, if anything, lower then a non-trans infirtile woman, as they would have expected to be able to concieve natrually - whereas Ive grown up for years knowing its not an option..

Still not nice though..

- Luckily i have no hang-ups at all with adoption, and one day when im with the right guy/girl, I will most definatly be having children :smile:
Original post by Willbean
So just curious, what happens to the penis exactly? Does it get folded in to create a vagina?

And what if it was female to male, how would a penis be made from the vagina?


umm, if you want a proper explanation then your best googling it, as id only botch an explanation.. but in really simple terms:

No, folded is the wrong word - but yes, the parts of the penis/scrotum are used to create the neo-vagina.

If your really interested in exactly how that happens, then there are many detailed acounts online - and even I believe, a full video of the sugery being done.. (cant remember where though..)

- as for the oposite way, FTM sugery - it is a lot more complicated..

In very very simple terms (and this is only 1 type of FTM sugery) they:

Remove all of the female reporductive organs.
Remove the vagina,
Take skin from the arm/leg,
A prosetic is then put in place, with the skin, and sensitive nerves grafted around it, to create a penis.
Ofcoures the urinary bits are redirected through the new penis.
A Scrotal sack can be made, and is filled with prosetic testes,
One of those testes will act as a pump though, - inflating the prosthetic inside the penis, to create an errection.

-- that is atleast, what I remember being told by a doctor, a good few years ago..
-- Probably a fair bit is wrong, or at best very badly explained..

there are trans men on this site though, who could probably give you a proper answer :smile:
Original post by fallen_acorns
ooo.. maybe there is sometihng to this drunken-baking thing, will have to experiment more :tongue:

+ aww, not nice at all :frown:


I have no questions to add to this thread, nothing useful to contribute, but I just felt I had to put this in here after reading that post.

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