Men want virgins to marry. Let me explain please.

I don't know why but that is really how it is where I am. My dad said if a man sees his son sleeping around with girls he would be like "That's my boy" or would turn a blind eye but that same man if he had a daughter would lock her up high In a tower like Rapunzel if he could. Girls are expected to keep themselves till marriage. My dad says is even better for the girl so if she is having an argument with her husband he cant say something like "Oh please, pot calling kettle black. You were not a virgin when you married me. How would I know how many men you have spread your legs wide open for?"
Its just how it is where I am from.

The naivety of it....; essentially it's in the wrong type of forum.

Well much as I dislike OP being oppressed and all, not everyone wants a Thursday night gang bang ya know

God knows that and understands that. He loves virgins and non-virgins. Though it is important for both parties to abstain from sexual immoraility

Deuteromy 22vs 25-26 But if in the field the man finds the girl who is engaged, and the man forces her and lies with her, then only the man who lies with her shall die. 26"But you shall do nothing to the girl; there is no sin in the girl worthy of death, for just as a man rises against his neighbor and murders him, so is this case
Engaged could also mean virgin

actually I would never marry a virgin

This is largely a case of a self-fulfilling prophecy. Everything you're saying only applies because the society in question already prizes female virginity. For example, let's take the wedding story and suppose it took place in Britain - suppose a bride invited a couple of her ex-boyfriends to her wedding (hardly unheard of) and at it they stood 'boasting' about how they'd had sex with her while they'd been together. It would probably be a little embarrassing to her, but the men would be considered to be making fools of themselves much more than her - no-one would be surprised or shocked at the revelation that a woman had sex with a boyfriend in a relationship that she considered had been serious enough to warrant inviting him to her wedding.

As for the main question more generally, remaining a virgin until you get married - bad idea. Seriously, how on earth can you commit to only having sex with one person for the rest of your life if you've no idea what sex with them, or even sex at all, is like? I've read quite a few stories of couples who waited until they got married to have sex, only to find out they had no sexual chemistry - a huge amount of time, money, embarrassment and most importantly unhappiness could have been avoided had they been genuinely intimate earlier in their relationship and realised it wasn't working.

Why? I think that premarital intercourse is wrong and people should save themselves and keep their purity until they find the person they want to marry and spend the rest of their lives lovingly devoted towards.

While celibacy is an extremely good thing to do, it shouldn't be 'celebrated' because somebody has managed to keep themselves - it should be the norm, but sadly not any more.

Haha, I know. I actually am fond of the OP and her quirkiness. It's refreshing to see someone so honest and not bothered about what others think.

I think it's good she's not giving it away cheaply. What bothers me is that the nature of her view is being shaped by her dad and also is double sided.

I would be more empathetic if she was saving it for her own sense of worth, rather than for others' benefits.

Yes but would the raped girls' future husband understand?

Well it's a ridiculous mentality/ double standard and I advise you try and apply reason to counteract it.

Haha, I know. I actually am fond of the OP and her quirkiness. It's refreshing to see someone so honest and not bothered about what others think.

I think it's good she's not giving it away cheaply. What bothers me is that the nature of her view is being shaped by her dad and also is double sided.

I would be more empathetic if she was saving it for her own sense of worth, rather than for others' benefits.

You could still be very intimate without being sexual - for a start, you would have a very close bond with someone like with no other person. I think that not even kissing until marriage is a bit too much, though; you don't have to go as far as making out for it to be special. Also, many couples have remained virgins until marriage and have been extremely happy - keeping themselves for each other alone has made their bond even stronger. It's so typical - we only ever hear of the failed ones

I am because I personally cannot think of having casual sex with anybody. just cant do it. I have tried imagining myself as that kind of person but no. No no no no no oh no( forgive me)It may look like I am following my dads views but trust me I want to keep this thing till marriage.

This is largely a case of a self-fulfilling prophecy. Everything you're saying only applies because the society in question already prizes female virginity. For example, let's take the wedding story and suppose it took place in Britain - suppose a bride invited a couple of her ex-boyfriends to her wedding (hardly unheard of) and at it they stood 'boasting' about how they'd had sex with her while they'd been together. It would probably be a little embarrassing to her, but the men would be considered to be making fools of themselves much more than her - no-one would be surprised or shocked at the revelation that a woman had sex with a boyfriend in a relationship that she considered had been serious enough to warrant inviting him to her wedding.

As for the main question more generally, remaining a virgin until you get married - bad idea. Seriously, how on earth can you commit to only having sex with one person for the rest of your life if you've no idea what sex with them, or even sex at all, is like? I've read quite a few stories of couples who waited until they got married to have sex, only to find out they had no sexual chemistry - a huge amount of time, money, embarrassment and most importantly unhappiness could have been avoided had they been genuinely intimate earlier in their relationship and realised it wasn't working.

I wonder why if you were brainwashed to believe you must stay a virgin from a young age...


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