I am male and banter seems offensive to me.
I recall many times at high school when people (especially males) insulted me and then claimed they were 'joking'. I don't understand the concept of 'banter'. How is insulting someone, especially to their face, funny?
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Original post by ~MiserableLogic~
I recall many times at high school when people (especially males) insulted me and then claimed they were 'joking'. I don't understand the concept of 'banter'. How is insulting someone, especially to their face, funny?
Depends if they're your friends.
Original post by tehforum
Depends if they're your friends.
They were definitely not my friends.
Original post by ~MiserableLogic~
They were definitely not my friends.
Then they were insulting you.
That's not banter.
A lot of people use that word as an alternative to what it really is - bullying.
Edit - Not all the time though. Some of it is just taking the pi$$ between mates.
Edit - Not all the time though. Some of it is just taking the pi$$ between mates.
(edited 11 years ago)
I went to an all girls school and we would banter all the time and it was so normal. I think the reason why no one took offense is because we knew that the others didn't MEAN what they were saying/we were friends so it was okay. I don't think banter is something for people who have just met, or people who have established themselves as not friends, because the whole point is that you're comfortable enough with each other to know that you're joking.
If they're not your friends it's not really 'banter', it's just being rude.
If they're not your friends it's not really 'banter', it's just being rude.
Original post by Four Queue
A lot of people use that word as an alternative to what it really is - bullying.
Easy way to hide it right?
Original post by Four Queue
A lot of people use that word as an alternative to what it really is - bullying.
False.
What it sometimes is.
I agree some people are just out to upset others and pass it off as banter so that they don't look like dicks.
But a lot of the time it is still just a joke between friends and most people know not to take it personally.
Original post by bssjonny
False.
What it sometimes is.
I agree some people are just out to upset others and pass it off as banter so that they don't look like dicks.
But a lot of the time it is still just a joke between friends and most people know not to take it personally.
What it sometimes is.
I agree some people are just out to upset others and pass it off as banter so that they don't look like dicks.
But a lot of the time it is still just a joke between friends and most people know not to take it personally.
Yeah, that's what I meant, just forgot the word. I'll edit my post.
its only banter is both people seem to know that the quips are not serious. That they are made jokingly. Generally it is done between friends, because friends can easily tell when the other is only teasing or kidding.
Sometimes its meant as banter, sometimes its meant to be offensive. Sometimes its understood as banter, sometimes its understood to be offensive.
If they genuinely mean it as banter and expected you to understand it as banter, then its not really bullying even if thats how you have understood it. Its just an unfortunate misunderstanding.
Without knowing the circumstances, its impossible to adjudicate in this case as to who really intended what.
If they genuinely mean it as banter and expected you to understand it as banter, then its not really bullying even if thats how you have understood it. Its just an unfortunate misunderstanding.
Without knowing the circumstances, its impossible to adjudicate in this case as to who really intended what.
Original post by py0alb
Sometimes its meant as banter, sometimes its meant to be offensive. Sometimes its understood as banter, sometimes its understood to be offensive.
If they genuinely mean it as banter and expected you to understand it as banter, then its not really bullying even if thats how you have understood it. Its just an unfortunate misunderstanding.
Without knowing the circumstances, its impossible to adjudicate in this case as to who really intended what.
If they genuinely mean it as banter and expected you to understand it as banter, then its not really bullying even if thats how you have understood it. Its just an unfortunate misunderstanding.
Without knowing the circumstances, its impossible to adjudicate in this case as to who really intended what.
Someone at work who I know always calls me a f*gg*t and says that I make him sick. He also tries to disguise this as banter, yet at the same time makes sure other people overhear what he is saying to embarrass me further.
They were testing you. Just insult them back then later say "sorry if it hurt you" or something like that to show you have won or are winning the banter-making match! It pisses guys like them off. Trust me!
I insult my friends far more than I insult my enemies.
If someone you don't consider a friend says something insulting to you, then it's not really "banter", it's just someone using it as an excuse to insult you without wanting to look hostile. It all depends on the tone of the conversation and the relationships between those involved.
If someone you don't consider a friend says something insulting to you, then it's not really "banter", it's just someone using it as an excuse to insult you without wanting to look hostile. It all depends on the tone of the conversation and the relationships between those involved.
There are some places in the world where people are exposed to a lot of banter and are adapted to live with it. I grew up being called ginger nut and what-not, then after my parents were divorced and went to live with my step dad, did he start calling me offensive names regularly. I've learnt to live with most of it, although am still offended every now and then. I completely understand that people hate it, so I only use it with my best mates and tend to avoid swearing.
We recently moved to a village, it seems like you can't go to the local pub without being able to put up with some sort of offensive terms directed at you. My step dad will still call me a ginger t*sser in front of everyone there
We recently moved to a village, it seems like you can't go to the local pub without being able to put up with some sort of offensive terms directed at you. My step dad will still call me a ginger t*sser in front of everyone there
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