How was Hagrid conceived?

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Reply 20

mehhh.....hi.

wouldn't his dad's penis be too small for his mum's vagina :wink2:

EDIT - I hate posting before reading the thread :frown:

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 21

Michael Locke

I always just assumed his dad had watched too much gaping porn and wanted to try it for himself.

Reply 22

alharrison4

This thread... LOL :smile:

Reply 23

SirMasterKey

Original post by microfatcat

They had a special hug

I got called weird for saying this the other day. :frown:

Reply 24

Fat-Love

IVF obvs or the father was very well endowed.

Reply 25

vin

She must have mistaken his father for some sort of intimate cleaning device :dontknow:

Then he must have found it arousing and so on :lolwut:

Reply 26

username345307

Original post by SirMasterKey

I got called weird for saying this the other day. :frown:

It's okay, we can be weird together :smile:

Reply 27

Luceria

Believe me, this is a popular and disturbing discussion :lol:

Err...heard of the spell "Engorgio" ?

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 28

MrEboueEmmanuel

With great difficulty I imagine

Reply 29

Firaila

Original post by Luceria

Believe me, this is a popular and disturbing discussion :lol:

Err... "Engorgio" ?

Haha brilliant :lol:

Reply 30

Krebs

Original post by Liam_G

Nobody's told you about the special hug?! :zomg:

Well, when a daddy and a mummy love each other very much...

But in all seriousness, Hagrids' Mum must have been somewhat dissatisfied. Don't you think? And one of them must have been mighty hairy... I'm guessing it must have been his mum, because she would have had enough trouble finding daddy's ding-dong without having to root through a load of bushy crotch whiskers. And do you think people sperm and giant eggs would even be compatible... maybe it's like when a horse mates with a pony and makes a mule... a small, fertility-challenged cross-breed. Who knows.

So Hagrid must be infertile. I bet JK Rowling thought it through beforehand.
:eek:

Reply 31

karateworm

Well, his dad had a really kinky giantess fetish. He's seen the snu-snu episode of Futurama and from that day forth, normal women couldn't satisfy him. He needed to know his partner could break his neck at any moment - it excited him.

He went along to knockturn ally and tracked down the infamous "Willy a Witch"" brothel.

He was directed to the back room, where Fridwulfa was lying un-sexily on a sofa. She had lost all her money betting at the dragon fighting ring, and had been forced into prostitution to cover her debts. After 40 minutes, 3 gold galleons and 2 black eyes... the deed was done.

He went his separate way, but she had failed to make use of her contraception (she'd sold it for more gambling money too) and found her self pregnant.

Anything in the actual books that contradicts this story is lying, m'kay?

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 32

SirMasterKey

Original post by microfatcat

It's okay, we can be weird together :smile:

Yea!

Reply 33

username549578

He crawled inside the mums fanny and he had a ****, he was probably standing right next to the egg when he did it so it was easy for his sperm to fertlise it.