Why Can't I Hit Someone Who Is Excessively Abusive To Me?

I've been taught in school that its "wrong" to hit people for name calling and free speech is all encompassing. Not gonna lie, I was bullied a lot in primary (and secondary) school, so following this logic was quite.............shall we say......."difficult"and wholly UNsatisfying. Fortunately for me though, they actually started fighting me when they didn't get the requisite response initially. BUT ANYWAY;

If someone comes up to me and starts, unprovoked, laughing at me because my parents were both recently murdered or calling me ugly over and over or gloating over the fact I've been made redundant and have just been made homeless as a result, why is it only me in the wrong if I just ram my fist through their head as a direct result?

I'd like a solid answer please as opposed to "well you just can't do that" or "its just wrong to hit people". These are not responses.

Thank you

Reply 1

S'Class

8

Because you're Dr Good Manners :smile:

Reply 2

SecretDuck

19

The name callers expect you to fight them. They are taunting you.

Reply 3

kingme

17

i would think you're entitled to hit them in those situations. you do so knowing there might be consequences, but some people do deserve it.

Reply 4

big-boss-91

12

Original post by Dr Good Manners

I've been taught in school that its "wrong" to hit people for name calling and free speech is all encompassing. Not gonna lie, I was bullied a lot in primary (and secondary) school, so following this logic was quite.............shall we say......."difficult"and wholly UNsatisfying. Fortunately for me though, they actually started fighting me when they didn't get the requisite response initially. BUT ANYWAY;

If someone comes up to me and starts, unprovoked, laughing at me because my parents were both recently murdered or calling me ugly over and over or gloating over the fact I've been made redundant and have just been made homeless as a result, why is it only me in the wrong if I just ram my fist through their head as a direct result?

I'd like a solid answer please as opposed to "well you just can't do that" or "its just wrong to hit people". These are not responses.

Thank you

because you are better than them, don't go down to their level by punching them, just ignore them.

Reply 5

Steevee

15

Because we live in a society that has tried to stop physical violence. If you are allowed to get violent just because you are offended then you will undo thousands of years of society. We have these rules to stop the physically strong exploiting the physically weak. If we allow physical confrontation to solve things then we will be no better than animals. As humans we value the mind over brawn, and thus we have a society where using your brawn to overcome other people is not allowed.

As annoying as that may be, just remember that there is always someone bigger and stronger than you, and how would you feel knowing that they could pummel you just because you offended them in some way?

Reply 6

IB_19

If they are going to insult someone if your parents have died or if you've been made redundant, they're clearly very unpleasant people. Hitting them only drags you down to their level. You should control yourself and rise above it. Revenge is a dish best served cold.

Reply 7

mosmof

12

irony on the username...

Reply 8

username451311

12

Because if you did lash out or call them back etc you'd be lowering yourself to their level and encouraging them to do it again. I know it's hard but seriously be the better person and ignore them, you know your better than that and at the end of the day they're not worth your time or thoughts. You'll soon be in a better position than them, then see who's laughing! :smile:

Reply 9

defuzion

you also get told its wrong to download music. but nothing stops you from doing that

Reply 10

roodootoo

Original post by Dr Good Manners

If someone comes up to me and starts, unprovoked, laughing at me because my parents were both recently murdered or calling me ugly over and over or gloating over the fact I've been made redundant and have just been made homeless as a result, why is it only me in the wrong if I just ram my fist through their head as a direct result?

First of all, its not legal. And that's totally what they want you to do, so you get in trouble.

And I would argue its totally justified to punch him if he was mocking you about your parents being murdered.

Reply 11

Skarm

15

A general rule I go by is to inflict the same amount of damage on someone as they do to you.
That means general name calling etc should be met with similar name calling and/or ignored, as it isn't doing you any real damage.
If it escalated to bullying, consistant verbal abuse and attempting to create an atmosphere of fear, and they don't stop after you tell them enough is enough, then IMO I have a license to bash their head in.

Reply 12

Dr Good Manners

OP

10

Not gonna lie, I'm now the kind of person who has 100% disregard for how I am percieved and thus would have no problems being regarded as "going down to their level". You wouldn't pick up a 10kg block of magnesium and throw it into a packed swimming pool or camp in an enclosure full of starving polar bears, so why give people mandate to abuse people excessively (excessive being the key word here) knowing it will only cause the abused to become mentally unbalanced by not releasing their emotions there an then?

All that happens is the abused builds up resentment, anger and hatred which they would almost certainly take out on someone who is innocent and weaker than them futher down the line (alas how many bullies and wife beaters became so in the first place, for example).

Surely a street fight there and then would avoid this unsavoury conclusion?

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 13

problemsolver

13

Physical damage can easily be measured and understood. There is usually evidence.

If someone has been wearing you down for months with rude insults, wind ups and general disrespect, that can be far more damaging, but it's also far harder to measure, the damage it causes is very dependent on the person and the person being the arse can't always know just how damaging their behaviour is until you snap in some way, so the person doing the wind-up arguably can't be held accountable. Any action you take in "snapping" could be written off as "mental illness" or "anger" on your part.

I'm with you though it is unfair. If it's happening in a work or education environment, perhaps wear a microphone (most mp3s have one built in now anyway so just switch it on) and get some evidence, then take it to someone.

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 14

daggerbolt

6

I believe the best way to go about these sort of situations is to give exactly what you get. I would rather mentally destroy the 'bully' than punch them in the face. However if your not a big talker and your bigger than them and they really are grating on you that much then punch them in the face and they will know they can't mess with you.

We have been conditioned by society in so many ways however at the end of the day if you feel that a punch is going to resolve the situation then this is probably the best cause of action.