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My Gf cheated on me with her x, twice.

Hello all, I have a story to tell its very long just to let you know ahead of time, because im venting everything because this happened yesterday. first off let me apologize in advance for some spelling and or punctuation errors im gonna have, due to the fact that i broke my finger yesterday by knocking the crap out of my Gf's X.

Ok, ive known this girl for about 2 years now. i used to be good friends with her BF but then when i found out about the 2 face he was and how he treated her all the buddy buddy stuff quickly stopped. ok so about a year and a half ago she started opening up to me about how her relation ship really was with her abusive BF. me and her then began to write back n forth each day in notes, which then evolved into a notebook. she would tell me of how he would get mad over little things, and go off on her for no reason and how he has cheated on her and how he has changed so much since they started going out about a year and a half earlier. naturally me being the kind of person i am, i began to feel sympathy for my friend, i felt as though it was my job to help her and i guess in a seance set her free? so i began to tell her that obviously he did not respect her or truly love her. she insisted that he did love her and that she felt the same towards him, all though in my mind you dont treat the one you love with such disrespect, ever.

We kept on writing to each other on a daily basis, and maybe once a week we would talk on the phone for a little bit. now given the fact that at the time i was a Sophomore she was Jr. and he was a Senior, we all were at the same school. so he knew that i would talk to her by notes and the phone, and he would become jealous thinking that i would try to take her from him, which at the time was not even on my mind, i was not interested in her in a emotional way, other than pity. i had no feeling for her at the time, she was just my friend that i felt obligated to help in her time of need. all this went on for a few months, she would constantly be crying from something he had done to her, and i came by and picked her up and dried her tears and and made her laugh and feel good about her self. after doing this over and over, it became very monotonous and i grew tired of seeing her like that when i knew that she did not have to be like that.

As time kept going by we began to talk a little more and she would tell me how nothing has changed between them. she would tell me of how he would break up with her one day and the next day she would ask him if they were going to get back together and he would reply with a "let me think" or "what are you gonna do for me if we do" or some **** like that. in my mind all i could see that he wanted her was for sex and not for the girl that she was at heart, which is a very caring person and forgiving, perhaps to forgiving...
by this time my feelings had started to grow for her, i began to get a crush on her, and we would flirt lightly at times, but nothing serious at all you know. then came the band banquet( just a dance for everyone in band and they can bring dates and so forth) well i went there with a few of my friends and we were having a good time, laughing and acting like fools dancing. i sat on the opposite side of the room that they were on (her and her BF) so i didnt see her much that night, and i didnt talk to her because her BF had her on a leash and would not let her dance with others or anything like that. well yea i felt really bad about that, but i wasnt gonna start a fight there. well after the last song(i was dancing with one of my homegirls) i glanced over at her table, and saw her by her self, face in her hands crying. this hurt me. how could he do something to her on a night like this? so i walked over to her and moved her hands and moved the hair out of her face and whipped her tears, i picked her up and i hugged her, and held her head to my chest. i then asked her what had happened and she told me of how he began to curse at her and call her a dumb bitch and a slut and then left to home. he said this just because she did not know how to dance one type of music, (bachata) in my mind i some how doubted that he would d such a thing for a reason like that, so i asked other that were at the same table, and they confirmed what she told me. well that just set me off.

My feelings fer her had just kept getting bigger. until one day while at my house we were texting and i told her i liked some one and she was like "o who is it?!" and i said i don't just like her i love her. she then replied to me " you dont love her you only think you do" by her saying that i know she knew i was talking about her. then we kept talking about it and i got very upset and told her not to tell me how to feel, only i know. after a few min i became overwhelmed by the guilt of getting upset at her, so i sent her a huge message telling her how i shouldn't of got upset at her for that and just basically apologizing, then i called her and asked her to please read the messages, i could tell she was crying, she said ok.

Things then progressed, we began to talk of a relationship between us, and she would say how its not possible and that she just couldnt be with me. well i would constantly tell her of how i would treat her if she were mine, and she would agree that she knew how it would be with me, but she said she just couldn't give me the chance due to the relationship that she was a slave to with her current BF. well after about 2 months she began considering trying things with me, but she still had fears of it, because her BF would threaten to kill her if she left him, and he would threaten to kill himself and her family, so she was bound to the relationship by fear of her life and her families. i would tell her how i wouldnt allow anything to ever happen to her. after about a month she gained enough strength to say she wanted to be with me. and she told me that she did not feel the same for me as i did for her (i already knew this and was willing to work with it) she also told me she still loved him, again i knew this and was willing to work with it.

We began going out on September 5th 2008. i was happy and she seemed to be also. we had MANY problems with her X stalking her, and threatening her and constantly txting and calling her phone until he would actually kill the battery on her phone. this was the main problem in our relationship, other than it, she was always happy and smiling. i never made her cry i never grabbed her, cursed at her, i never did anythign wrong to her in any shape or form, mentally or physically. early in the relationship she would often ask me if she could go meet with him and eat at a fast food place or something ( she would bring a friend with her to make sure nothing happened) even though i hated the thought of it, i agreed to let her go one time with a friend of hers and mine. i was worried and a mess the whole time she was gone, i couldnt do anything but think of the worst. she came back all happy, and was telling me how happy he was to see her and all that crap. she could tell how much i enjoyed hearing that.... so she stopped.

She kept telling me how she wanted to be friends with him, and i begged her not to and to just focus on me, but she refused and told me she will be friends with him and she was sorry that she was gonna be because she knew it infuriated me. i just left it alone and asked that she only speak to him through txt and rare phone chats, she agreed so i left it alone.

Well then came Halloween, we went to a Halloween party and we never got out of the truck, we stayed in there and we began to make out and things began to progress and i stopped and asked her are you sure, and she said yes. so then we continued, and it was wonderful it meant so much to me (my 1st time) yes i know very cheesy in the back of the truck, but the place didnt matter to me, the feelings did. so as we were having sex, the next thing we know, the lights come on in the truck and the doors open, all of them (4 door chevy) and there stood the 5 friends we had came with all saying "awwwww daaaaaam" and so on, they shut the doors and went away, we then started getting dressed and i just knew in my heart she would be enraged at me for letting people see her like that, but when i turned and looked at her, she smiled and laughed. i was so confussed, and all i could do was appologize and say how sorry i was for having that happen and she kept telling me its ok and nothing was wrong. so we got dressed, then friends came back we left to drop her off, we got to her house she got out, and they all then turned and looked at me laughed one was mad one was just quite and the other was just like "how was it" of coarse i didnt answer him.

I told her later that night on the phone that i was sorry and i shouldnt have done that, and she said its really ok and that she allowed me to, so i said ok.the next night(the day after halloween) there was another party, i went to it with about 6 friends and there were about 70 people there, including her x, but i didnt even talk to him or look at him or nothing, i found it satisfying how he sat alone in a corner because no one liked him after they learned how he treated my his X (my GF) and ihow i was having fun and talking to his friends and mine. i got drunk that night and we went to dennys to eat b4 they dropped me off at home i had to be home at 12 we left dennys at about 11 50, i got home at 12 04 i walked in the hosue and i went to my room, then my dad came in and went into some kind of rage saying how i dontlove him cuz i came home late and he said i dont respect him cuz i stayed out, i laugh at it now, but at the time it was serious. he then yelled im done and left for the night, dont know where he went. i layed in my bed crying i then txted my Gf and told her what had happened, and about a hour later we said our good nights, and 5 min after that she sent me a message saying " I love You" (the 1st time she told me that) and it gave me some relief.

The next day i asked her if she meant it or if she only said it because of what happened to me and she felt that she had to. she said she meant it and i believed her.

After all of that we began to have more of a normal realtionship, less problems from her X and things were great, we went out every weekened i would buy her things, and tell her i loved her more than once everyday, i would tell her romantic things and she would hardly respond to them but it didnt bother me that bad because i could tell she was happy.

Skipping through all of the normal everyday things ahead to where everything came crashing down.

It is now January 14th. We have finals all week. she did not have a 3rd period test(she exempted) but i did, so i had to stay and take it. she texted me and told me that she was outside and her friend jesus told her that she should come over to his house until i got out so she didnt have to wait in the cold outside for me. i was skeptic, but i TRUSTED her and i left it at that. after school got out everything seemed fine, she came and met me and seemed happy, and i asked her what she did and she said she watched "walle" and got on the computer and checked her myspace. i said o ok thats cool, believing what she told me.

The next day the same thing, she didnt have a 5th period test and i did, so she said she was gonna do the same thing, ok cool with me u know. same thing happened she came to me after i got out we talked and it was all cool. she then went home. later that night we talked, and we planned that the next day (January 16th) i would come over to her house after we got out of school cuz no one was home ( i think u know what we were gonna do) so we got to her house we went to her room, we started messing around, and clothes came off, n/e way. theres a knock at the door. i get scared thinking it her parents ( understandable right?) we get dressed and she tells me to stay in the room and be quite, i say ok. she is gone for a few min and i get worried bcuz if it was some one that lived there they would have cane in allready. next thing i know i hear her say no one is in the house, so im like wtf? who could it be u know. so i slowly make my way to the living room and i hear alot of noise like someone falling, and i hear her yelling stop stop, so i go around the corner and i c him on his back on the couch and her back on his chest and hes holding her wrist and trying to hold her down. I snap (thinking that everything i knew was the truth) so i c him and i assume he hit her and other things like that, so i loose it i run over to the couch and i grab his head with my left hand and i just start beating the living **** out of him with my right, she is still inbetween me and him telling me to stop, im yelling at her telling her to move(the first time i EVER yelled at her by the way) so i keep hitting him harder than ive ever hit anyone. he ends up on the floor and im ontop of him still pounding him, hes yelling for her and shes telling me to stop, he turned his face away from me (so i dont break his big toucan nose) so im hitting im in the back of the head, i knock him out for about 5 secods becaue he goes limp, and i keep hitting him, the he wakes up and is telling me to stop, that he has to tell me some thing, he tells me she's been lieing, and that nothing is true (im still hitting him while hes telling me this) and he then says she will tell u then i stop hitting him (o yea he bit me on my right arm and my left side, and i broke my pinkie finger from punching him, its still all swollen but anyway it felt good) so im still on top of him and i look at her and say whats he talking about, then i look back and he says shes been with me the whole time. he said that shes been coming over to his house and having sex with him, i look at her and ask (yelling) is this true??? and she looks down and says yes...

I then stand up kick her X in his chest with my polo boots :biggrin:

anything to take out some anger ive been building up.. i go into her room i get my wallet my phone and my rings, i go over to her i yell at her, that she really ****** this up, and that ive never done nothing to her and she goes and does this **** to me. and i tell her that im done and its over and if she wants that piece of **** then take him. i go outside to the porch she follows and says wait, and i turn and yell wait?! for what?! for u to **** someelse?! and i then kicked a little plywood fooseball table and broke it in half, then i walked into the street and began to walk home. then i stoped, turned and heard a struggle going on inside, so i go back walk inside and there is broken glass on the floor and tables tipped over, i go into the kitchen, and her X is on the floor and he looks at me and says what? and i stand there over him breathing heavy and crying, i ask where she is he says in her room, i go there and she locked the door, i try to get in but i couldnt, so i go out side (knowing she would try to get out her window) i c her walking down the street to the bayou next to her house (she was gonna try to drowned herself) i ran and stopped her she tryed to get away ( and this was the 1st time i held her against her will ) i put her hands behind her back and began to ask her what else she has lied about and she wouldnt say nothing, she kept trying to run but i wouldnt let go, and she kept kicking me in my shins an kneecaps. and she wouldnt stop and i was so angry, that i did something that i wish i would have never done, its just not me. it hurt me so bad when i did this to her, i felt nothing but pain in my heart and sorrow for what i had just done to yall it might not be serious but to be it is very serious. i yelled at her to stop moving and kicking, then i swept her legs from under her and threw her to the ground and landed ontop of her, making sure she could not run. i layed on her and had her face in the dirt, i yelled at her for a good 10 min, telling her all kinds of things calling her a slut, and telling her how stupid and ****** up she was. the i rolled her over and saw her laying there crying in pain and i looked into her eyes and i whispered that i didnot want to hurt her and that i didnt want to do that. i looked at her in the eyes again and whispered that i want to help her,, and that im sorry for doing that. while i was on her i pulled out my phone and called my friend to come pick me up. i picked her up and took her inside the house and she started cleaning the glass up before her parents arrived. and the whole time i was calling her a liar and all kinds of stuff. ive never felt so bad in my entire life. those things hurt me so bad, but i felt so betrayed by the one i had all my trust in.

My friend then arrived and i told him what had happened. we then left and i left her there and the X also left. i went to my friends house and got his mom to put some crap on my broken finger. then we went back to the school were i was getting picked up.

I have been txting her all night and and talked to her on the phone for a few hours, just asking y, and all of that stuff, like what did i do to her and so on... shes been telling me how ****** up what she did, and that the sex didnt mean anything, and that she really did go there to watch the movie but then he tryed to have sex and she wouldnt let him, but then he held her there and she said she couldnt control her self, and all that. she seems genuinely sorry for what she did to me, she says how much she wishes she could die, and that i never deserved any of that. and just how stupid it was and she dont know why see did it and that im the love of her live, and that she has given up on love and that shes not gonna even try any more. and alot of other things, that she will never talk to him again, and that she wants to earn my trust back little by little.

I just have no idea what to do, im a wreck im at a cross roads, it seems like it hurts more to not be with her than the pain of what she did is. im so confused and i just dont know what to do, i cant get it off my mind even around friends or playing games or reading or anything... i don't know what to do, i love this girl sooo much. and i want to give her another chance but i don't know if ill ever be able to fully trust her again, or if ill ever be able to look at her in her eyes and not see what she did. when i was holding her on the ground and when she was cleaning, i saw her as so Innocent and as my little angel i couldn't help but feel that way, i couldn't stand to see her like that...

Anyone have something similar happen? or any advise on how to cope with it or anything would be helpful...

Sorry for the long read, thats still not the full story but its the big parts.

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1

Valbonne92

Whoaaa.

All I can say is, let time do the work. :yes:

Reply 2

New Username

damn...it looks like you've written a whole book on it..
mate....first problem is being with her after she cheated, you should have dumped her already

Reply 3

~*lily*~

Fool you once shame on her, fool you twice..shame on you. You should have ended it after the first time, cheating can never be justified nobody deserves that. You deserve better don't allow others to treat you like a doormat.

Reply 4

zube

New Username

damn...it looks like you've written a whole book on it..
mate....first problem is being with her after she cheated, you should have dumped her already

After not reading any of that story, I think I agree with this ^

Summary please.

Dissey

Summary please.

Yeah please! lol

Reply 7

didgeridoo12uk

no1 has time to read that!!

if someone abuses your trust. get rid of them. no second chances

there are 7(ish) billion in the world, you barely have time to give any of them a first chance, so why waste your time on someone who's already screwed up, when you could be meeting new (and better) people

Reply 8

Aldine10

~*lily*~

well i didnt know about it untill it happened twice...

Reply 9

Aldine10

if u didnt read it or dont care care then y r u posting... no one told u u had to.

Reply 10

OP: Please edit and summerise!!!

Reply 11

Dang. I skim-read it if I'm honest. You should dump her. You may love her but if she's willing to cheat on you multiple times, with a guy who sounds like a tool, then you're going to keep on getting hurt.

Reply 12

StarbucK

I read so much then had to give up. If she cheated and abused your trust, then shes not worth your time.

Reply 13

Mr_Steve_Stifler

You're a ******* half-man. Grow some balls ffs. (have to be harsh to be nice).

Reply 14

socialbutterfly

dudee seriously :[
i know it may hurt not having her in your life.
but she certainly isn't worth it.
don't even think about getting back with her.
if she knows she can get away with it, she'll just do it again.
second chances never matter because people never change.
if she really loved you she wouldn't have made that 'mistake' of hurting you so badly.
spend your time around your friends, it will take your mind off her.
focus on studying for exams.

remember what you're worth!

*sometimes you have to forget how you feel & remember what you truly deserve*

Reply 15

harrypotterfreak

It sounds bad but I kind of get the impression that she's 'addicted' to the pain her ex causes her. That kind of relationship, although destructive, can be really intense and it could be that she gets a kind of high from having a massive fight and then making up. It sounds like she came to her senses when she decided to be with you but maybe you were just too 'nice' for her and that's why she couldn't say no to her ex. IMO she needs help. If I were you I'd tell her to go sort herself out without being with either of you and then work out what she really wants.

Hope this helps.

Reply 16

randdom

If you didn't read it and have not sensible advice please don't spam up the thread.

Reply 17

Anonymous #1

I actually read it! Coz I should be revising, y'know how it is. Anonymous because of the shiny happy material I am posting.

Anyway, as someone who used to be in an abusive relationship, I can't imagine ever wanting to get back with the guy, especially not whilst with someone who actually took good care of me. Sounds like either he's not as bad as she made him out to be, or some part of her actually gets off on being treated like crap, that she likes having a bad boy. It's bad enough that she wanted to be friends with him after what he did to her...

She obviously doesn't love you. I'm sorry, but not being able to help yourself? Hellooo how about now going around his house in the first place to watch a movie the two of them alone? No, she wanted what happened to happen from the moment she made the decision to go there.

It's your first relationship, your first love, it's always going to be hard to let go but it gets so much better. These experiences help make you more picky and find the right person for you.