Would you 'let' your daughter be masculine?
I'm just creating this thread to get people's views on the reverse of the last thread: being 'would you let your son be feminine'. My opinion is that 'let' sounds rather controlling and that no parent really has the right to stop their kids from being who they are or want to be. A girl being masculine or a boy being feminine isn't hurting anybody. Therefore, if parents are embarrassed by their kids not subscribing to arbitrary roles, they need to take a hard look in the mirror and really ask themselves if they're any good as parents.
I'm curious as to what you guys think though. Would you be embarrassed at your daughter acting masculine? Would you go as far as to control the way your kid acts?
I'm curious as to what you guys think though. Would you be embarrassed at your daughter acting masculine? Would you go as far as to control the way your kid acts?
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Original post by Seb.
I wouldn't be exactly happy about it, but I would never force my children to be something they don't want to. I'd let her be what she wants to be.
I agree. I wouldn't like it one bit, but with these things its never a question of 'letting' anyone do anything. It would be wrong as well as impossible to force someone like that.
It's up to her I tend to dislike gender stereotypes anyway, she should do what makes her happy, if she wants to be a professional rugby player or something, I'd support her all the way.
She can go off and be a Masai warrior if it makes her happy.
Gender stereotypes are so superficial, my English language teacher last year said that both of her children (one girl one boy) had pink and blue toys, dolls and trucks, action men/ kitchen sets and she avoided reinforcing that something is 'for girls'/ 'for boys' and they are now both very happy confident teens.
What features would prompt someone to call her masculine? Her physical appearance, personality, behaviour or all? Aren't we all masculine sometimes? Sex may be fixed but gender isn't. Gender is a socially constructed framework, I believe we can switch when and if we want dictated by variations like mood, situation (being threatened) etc.
Gender stereotypes are so superficial, my English language teacher last year said that both of her children (one girl one boy) had pink and blue toys, dolls and trucks, action men/ kitchen sets and she avoided reinforcing that something is 'for girls'/ 'for boys' and they are now both very happy confident teens.
What features would prompt someone to call her masculine? Her physical appearance, personality, behaviour or all? Aren't we all masculine sometimes? Sex may be fixed but gender isn't. Gender is a socially constructed framework, I believe we can switch when and if we want dictated by variations like mood, situation (being threatened) etc.
I'd just let her be herself, and if that happened to include masculine characteristics I wouldn't care one bit. The gender roles and expectations we force upon children simply cause unnecessary stress for those who are unable to adhere to them.
If i ever have children I would care more about if they were a nice person tried their best at school and didn't do drugs
i would let my kids act how they wanted as long as it didn't harm other people,it's their life they should be free to be whoever they want
What do you mean by masculine though? Arm wrestling? Working? Lifting weights?
And what would you mean by feminine? Not getting into fights? Talking about feelings?
And what would you mean by feminine? Not getting into fights? Talking about feelings?
I would let them do what they want as long as they are not harming anyone else. It is their life.
Original post by Danz123
I'm just creating this thread to get people's views on the reverse of the last thread: being 'would you let your son be feminine'. My opinion is that 'let' sounds rather controlling and that no parent really has the right to stop their kids from being who they are or want to be. A girl being masculine or a boy being feminine isn't hurting anybody. Therefore, if parents are embarrassed by their kids not subscribing to arbitrary roles, they need to take a hard look in the mirror and really ask themselves if they're any good as parents.
I'm curious as to what you guys think though. Would you be embarrassed at your daughter acting masculine? Would you go as far as to control the way your kid acts?
I'm curious as to what you guys think though. Would you be embarrassed at your daughter acting masculine? Would you go as far as to control the way your kid acts?
I agree with you.
Anyone who doesn't 'let' their children be who they want to be (bar hurting themselves or others) is an idiot and shouldn't be allowed children.
I'm expecting a baby, and although I don't know if it's a boy or girl yet, I am NOT going to dictate how feminine or masculine they're allowed to be. I don't even like pink or blue baby clothes.
Original post by JennaEmBee
She can go off and be a Masai warrior if it makes her happy.
Gender stereotypes are so superficial, my English language teacher last year said that both of her children (one girl one boy) had pink and blue toys, dolls and trucks, action men/ kitchen sets and she avoided reinforcing that something is 'for girls'/ 'for boys' and they are now both very happy confident teens.
What features would prompt someone to call her masculine? Her physical appearance, personality, behaviour or all? Aren't we all masculine sometimes? Sex may be fixed but gender isn't. Gender is a socially constructed framework, I believe we can switch when and if we want dictated by variations like mood, situation (being threatened) etc.
Gender stereotypes are so superficial, my English language teacher last year said that both of her children (one girl one boy) had pink and blue toys, dolls and trucks, action men/ kitchen sets and she avoided reinforcing that something is 'for girls'/ 'for boys' and they are now both very happy confident teens.
What features would prompt someone to call her masculine? Her physical appearance, personality, behaviour or all? Aren't we all masculine sometimes? Sex may be fixed but gender isn't. Gender is a socially constructed framework, I believe we can switch when and if we want dictated by variations like mood, situation (being threatened) etc.
+2
I'm not feminine myself particularly so I don't see why I should force any daughter I may have to be that way. Also, why does it matter? Most of these people saying no should realise that they can't force another human being (Their child or not) to do something.
Original post by Danz123
My opinion is that 'let' sounds rather controlling and that no parent really has the right to stop their kids from being who they are or want to be.
You do have to control your children to some extent, that's the point. If you're aware that your 13 year old is taking drugs and having casual sex, do you let it continue?
If you didn't control your children you would be a bad parent. But when it comes to masculinity or femininity then it would be there choice of course.
I find gender stereotypes damaging...I find that people are often afraid of the unknown, something they have no knowledge of and that fear unfortunately cultivates the breeding ground for ignorance.. to be honest refusing your child to wear certain clothes would be the parent making a big deal out of it...I wear mens clothes and I am a girl... I do this because sometimes I just love wearing trouser braces, quirky patterned shirts, blazers and bow ties. For me it's about style... But the truth of it is some parents have a feeling that the sexuality of the child would be defined instantly. That is the fear. I am a heterosexual, I'm straight and I wear mens clothes so does that make me weird? No. I
...I encourage children to be inquisitive and be free... dress up how you want be a child don't let discrimination take away your child hood.
Original post by ChieOnakata
...I encourage children to be inquisitive and be free... dress up how you want be a child don't let discrimination take away your child hood.
I can't say I totally agree, whilst I don't agree with the way society treats those that are different you still have a duty to limit your child's behaviour just enough to protect them from the idiots out there?
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