Do you think that we owe our parents anything?
[I'm not sure where this thread would fit in, so I decided to post it here].
On FB today, I was arguing with this girl who was claiming that we don't owe our parents anything. It all started when she posted a status complaining that her mother wanted to borrow money from her. I commented that her mother has fed her, clothed her and taken care of her for the past 17 or so years of her life and that she shouldn't whine to thousands of people (she posted it on a facebook page, as an admin) when she wants something in return. After my comment, a tonne of people attacked me saying that I'm ridiculous for thinking that we owe our parents anything and, this is putting it politely, telling me to go away.
What do you guys think? Is it just me who thinks that we owe our parents, and that we should give to them just as readily as they gave to us? (I say this coming from a poor background, so my parents never gave me much). I mean, we basically owe our lives to them. Am I being ridiculous? What do you think?
On FB today, I was arguing with this girl who was claiming that we don't owe our parents anything. It all started when she posted a status complaining that her mother wanted to borrow money from her. I commented that her mother has fed her, clothed her and taken care of her for the past 17 or so years of her life and that she shouldn't whine to thousands of people (she posted it on a facebook page, as an admin) when she wants something in return. After my comment, a tonne of people attacked me saying that I'm ridiculous for thinking that we owe our parents anything and, this is putting it politely, telling me to go away.
What do you guys think? Is it just me who thinks that we owe our parents, and that we should give to them just as readily as they gave to us? (I say this coming from a poor background, so my parents never gave me much). I mean, we basically owe our lives to them. Am I being ridiculous? What do you think?
Scroll to see replies
We don't 'owe' them in the sense that we must repay exactly what they have given in a financial sense. As a parent, there is a certain level of expectation or requirement to provide for your offspring, and that has been the same throughout history. This is not to say that all parents do it, and some parents clearly care for their children more than others. This kindness and charity should be repaid in a sense of duty or respect, and when the time comes for the roles to be reversed, and for you to care for your parents, you must make the same decision: care for them out of kindness and compassion, or don't, and be seen (rightly in my opinion) as an ungrateful and spoiled human being who should be ostracized for their lack of gratitude or duty.
Still, that girl sounds like an utter brat, and someone should show her parents her status.
Still, that girl sounds like an utter brat, and someone should show her parents her status.
Original post by crozibear96
[I'm not sure where this thread would fit in, so I decided to post it here].
On FB today, I was arguing with this girl who was claiming that we don't owe our parents anything. It all started when she posted a status complaining that her mother wanted to borrow money from her. I commented that her mother has fed her, clothed her and taken care of her for the past 17 or so years of her life and that she shouldn't whine to thousands of people (she posted it on a facebook page, as an admin) when she wants something in return. After my comment, a tonne of people attacked me saying that I'm ridiculous for thinking that we owe our parents anything and, this is putting it politely, telling me to go away.
What do you guys think? Is it just me who thinks that we owe our parents, and that we should give to them just as readily as they gave to us? (I say this coming from a poor background, so my parents never gave me much). I mean, we basically owe our lives to them. Am I being ridiculous? What do you think?
On FB today, I was arguing with this girl who was claiming that we don't owe our parents anything. It all started when she posted a status complaining that her mother wanted to borrow money from her. I commented that her mother has fed her, clothed her and taken care of her for the past 17 or so years of her life and that she shouldn't whine to thousands of people (she posted it on a facebook page, as an admin) when she wants something in return. After my comment, a tonne of people attacked me saying that I'm ridiculous for thinking that we owe our parents anything and, this is putting it politely, telling me to go away.
What do you guys think? Is it just me who thinks that we owe our parents, and that we should give to them just as readily as they gave to us? (I say this coming from a poor background, so my parents never gave me much). I mean, we basically owe our lives to them. Am I being ridiculous? What do you think?
i would not pay much attention to Facebook... it attracts the wrong kind of people.
parents make huge sacrifices to bring up children; we owe them respect and devotion.
Finally, some people who know respect. A nice change from the usual advice of people being told that parents are idiots.
I don't think it's about owing... I mean, our parents chose to have us, or at least to keep us (apart from those who abandoned us, of course). So, it's their choice that we were born, and therefore their responsibility to dress us, feed us, etc. up until we're a certain age. That doesn't mean that I am ungrateful, but I also don't think that this should be used against us, like I've known for a few parents to do ("I've looked after you, so you should do this or that").
That said, I think it's quite natural that when there's a healthy parent-child relationship, the child will help out the parent if and when they can. I don't think it's very nice to moan in a public place about a parent asking to borrow some money. I've helped out my mother before and my mother's helped me out a couple of times after I'd already moved out. When you care about someone and have a bond with someone, that's what you do.
Of course, if the parents are horrible or abusive or what not, it's a different matter. Still not right to put something like that on Facebook, though. I'd consider it private business.
That said, I think it's quite natural that when there's a healthy parent-child relationship, the child will help out the parent if and when they can. I don't think it's very nice to moan in a public place about a parent asking to borrow some money. I've helped out my mother before and my mother's helped me out a couple of times after I'd already moved out. When you care about someone and have a bond with someone, that's what you do.
Of course, if the parents are horrible or abusive or what not, it's a different matter. Still not right to put something like that on Facebook, though. I'd consider it private business.
Original post by crozibear96
[I'm not sure where this thread would fit in, so I decided to post it here].
On FB today, I was arguing with this girl who was claiming that we don't owe our parents anything. It all started when she posted a status complaining that her mother wanted to borrow money from her. I commented that her mother has fed her, clothed her and taken care of her for the past 17 or so years of her life and that she shouldn't whine to thousands of people (she posted it on a facebook page, as an admin) when she wants something in return. After my comment, a tonne of people attacked me saying that I'm ridiculous for thinking that we owe our parents anything and, this is putting it politely, telling me to go away.
What do you guys think? Is it just me who thinks that we owe our parents, and that we should give to them just as readily as they gave to us? (I say this coming from a poor background, so my parents never gave me much). I mean, we basically owe our lives to them. Am I being ridiculous? What do you think?
On FB today, I was arguing with this girl who was claiming that we don't owe our parents anything. It all started when she posted a status complaining that her mother wanted to borrow money from her. I commented that her mother has fed her, clothed her and taken care of her for the past 17 or so years of her life and that she shouldn't whine to thousands of people (she posted it on a facebook page, as an admin) when she wants something in return. After my comment, a tonne of people attacked me saying that I'm ridiculous for thinking that we owe our parents anything and, this is putting it politely, telling me to go away.
What do you guys think? Is it just me who thinks that we owe our parents, and that we should give to them just as readily as they gave to us? (I say this coming from a poor background, so my parents never gave me much). I mean, we basically owe our lives to them. Am I being ridiculous? What do you think?
TSR arguments are ridiculous enough. Facebook arguments are asinine. Is this what British society has deteriorated into a bunch of menstrual girls arguing on social media?
ofcourse we do...
I understand why some teenegers and even beyond that dont apreciate this, because well.. its that kind of age, but yes - you do owe your parents a hell of a lot, as does everyone who had a decent upbringing..
In my family there would be no chance of not giving as much back though.. we are a very close family, my grandad lives 2 doors down from my parents and they take care of him as much as he needs now, and will do so even more as he cant do so himself..
I would not dream of it being any different for me, and when my parents are old, I will always want them close where I can support them, and make sure they are ok..
Especially as my father-in-law is disabled, and will struggle in later life, being able to take care of him will be very important soon enough.
I think there just comes a tipping point, with any close family - you start life with your parents giving you 100%, as you get older you give a little back... and a bit more.. and a bit more.. and eventually at one point when you are both adults you have a 50/50 relationship.. but then you reach your prime years, and they get older, so you start to give more.. until eventually one sad day, you are giving 100% and they cant give any more..
I understand why some teenegers and even beyond that dont apreciate this, because well.. its that kind of age, but yes - you do owe your parents a hell of a lot, as does everyone who had a decent upbringing..
In my family there would be no chance of not giving as much back though.. we are a very close family, my grandad lives 2 doors down from my parents and they take care of him as much as he needs now, and will do so even more as he cant do so himself..
I would not dream of it being any different for me, and when my parents are old, I will always want them close where I can support them, and make sure they are ok..
Especially as my father-in-law is disabled, and will struggle in later life, being able to take care of him will be very important soon enough.
I think there just comes a tipping point, with any close family - you start life with your parents giving you 100%, as you get older you give a little back... and a bit more.. and a bit more.. and eventually at one point when you are both adults you have a 50/50 relationship.. but then you reach your prime years, and they get older, so you start to give more.. until eventually one sad day, you are giving 100% and they cant give any more..
I usually wouldn't obsess over an argument with a silly, spoilt teenager, but this one really affected me. I was ready to just ignore the girl, but a bunch of people sided with her and it upset me. Is this generation really that ungrateful? All the fancy stuff that our parents buy us. The computers, the iPods and cool clothes, all the Christmas and birthday gifts, on top of food and shelter and everything that we need to live healthy lives. It feels to me like todays teenagers really take it all for granted.
That is so controversial again. It really depends on the parents and the experiences of the children. To speak for myself, I don't think that I owed my parents anything, especially my father. Just because they were not able to live a lovely and friendly relationship to my brother and me. I would even say that they were not able to solve conflicts between us, just incapable of being parents. What I have missed in that time was just to be a child. My parents have had so much (exaggerated) expectations to us. A love to children is without conditions! my brother and me were failed when we have to 'fulfill' the ideas of our father, just to make him proud.
Two things. First, I think "owe" is a strong word. I wouldn't say I owe anyone anything but I'd say that good, respectful parents are deserving of their children's respect in return.
Secondly - unfortunately there are many, many parents who don't fit into the above category, so I would be very wary of telling anybody that they owe their parents something without knowing their situation.
Secondly - unfortunately there are many, many parents who don't fit into the above category, so I would be very wary of telling anybody that they owe their parents something without knowing their situation.
Original post by crozibear96
Is this generation really that ungrateful?
Yes.
Original post by Kittiara
x
Nice speech! especially what you said about the parents at the beginning.
Original post by e aí rapaz
Two things. First, I think "owe" is a strong word. I wouldn't say I owe anyone anything but I'd say that good, respectful parents are deserving of their children's respect in return.
Secondly - unfortunately there are many, many parents who don't fit into the above category, so I would be very wary of telling anybody that they owe their parents something without knowing their situation.
Secondly - unfortunately there are many, many parents who don't fit into the above category, so I would be very wary of telling anybody that they owe their parents something without knowing their situation.
So true! some parents are unable to parent children in a respectful manner in a respectful circumstance. I have made this experience. respect in a familiar relationship only works when parents are respectful to children and vice versa. I would even say its the basis to a loveful family.
It's not a cut and dry issue but I'll explain my take on it.
Parents chose to have children, and if you create a mouth to feed, it's your responsibility to feed it. Parents have a responsibility to make sure all the needs the child has are met, because they are responsible for those needs existing in the first place. Having said that, most parents do more than just meet those needs, and in that way have shown kindness that's eligible for reciprocity.
Whether reciprocation is owed is a matter of individual disagreement. Personally I don't think it is owed, but that doing it makes you a better person.
Parents chose to have children, and if you create a mouth to feed, it's your responsibility to feed it. Parents have a responsibility to make sure all the needs the child has are met, because they are responsible for those needs existing in the first place. Having said that, most parents do more than just meet those needs, and in that way have shown kindness that's eligible for reciprocity.
Whether reciprocation is owed is a matter of individual disagreement. Personally I don't think it is owed, but that doing it makes you a better person.
A bit of both, yes as a parent you have a responsibility to provide and love and support your child, but at the same time, those things shouldn't be done out of duty, they should be done out of love. My mom has gone above and beyond for my sister and I and I feel like I owe her a lot and when I can I will spoil her like she spoiled us. However, not wanting to lend your parents money is kind of understandable, until you're on your own and stuff financial responsibility should be theirs and not vice versa. It really depends on the situation, in this case both sides have a valid case imo
No. We owe them nothing. It's not a deal, being born. Having love and respect for them is a mutual thing, so if you have that then it's up to you how you treat them. But we don't 'owe' then anything just because they decided to have children. I think it's a disgusting mentality to have children and guilt them into being nice to you, especially If you're a bad parent.
To be treated when elderly as you were in your youth, at least... perhaps.
The girl I was talking about was adopted (probably should have mentioned that in the OP), by a decent couple into a very good home in a great area. I don't know exactly how the adoption system is like where she is, but most kids who are given up by their biological parents end up bouncing around from place to place, sometimes encountering the most horrible people..
If I was ever in that situation, I woud be eternally grateful to my adoptive parents. Because they don't have to take you in. They could leave you to be someone else's problem, or they could be horrible and abusive. But they aren't.
I think that I worded this wrong. "Owe" is a strong word, I mean more like.. If they ever need anything in return, help or money or even just support, the person should try their best to help the parents. I don't mean that you should do it all the time, or that you should do it even if you aren't really able to because it would have an adverse effect on your own life. I just mean that you should do whatever you can, whatever is in your power, to help. And you most certainly shouldn't b***h about it to a tonne of people.
If I was ever in that situation, I woud be eternally grateful to my adoptive parents. Because they don't have to take you in. They could leave you to be someone else's problem, or they could be horrible and abusive. But they aren't.
I think that I worded this wrong. "Owe" is a strong word, I mean more like.. If they ever need anything in return, help or money or even just support, the person should try their best to help the parents. I don't mean that you should do it all the time, or that you should do it even if you aren't really able to because it would have an adverse effect on your own life. I just mean that you should do whatever you can, whatever is in your power, to help. And you most certainly shouldn't b***h about it to a tonne of people.
Quick Reply
Latest
Trending
Last reply 2 days ago
Why is the political left now censorious and authoritarian??Last reply 2 days ago
Is it true that British unis are prejudiced towards degrees from Scottish unis?Last reply 2 days ago
If the Russell Group was now a fair representation of what it still claims to beLast reply 2 weeks ago
TSR Goes Green: How important will the environment be in this year's election?Last reply 2 weeks ago
Research Rankings of universities if you add Research Quality & Intensity percentagesLast reply 1 month ago
Is University of Birmingham prestigious and respected well enough in UK ?Trending
Last reply 2 days ago
Why is the political left now censorious and authoritarian??Last reply 2 days ago
Is it true that British unis are prejudiced towards degrees from Scottish unis?Last reply 2 days ago
If the Russell Group was now a fair representation of what it still claims to beLast reply 2 weeks ago
TSR Goes Green: How important will the environment be in this year's election?Last reply 2 weeks ago
Research Rankings of universities if you add Research Quality & Intensity percentagesLast reply 1 month ago
Is University of Birmingham prestigious and respected well enough in UK ?
