Shout out to WWE for literally having a man win the first ever women's Money In The Bank briefcase. FFS, I see the point of landing the briefcase with Carmella. She needs the leg-up most. She's a heel, she's young, and this gives her credibility. But relying on James Ellsworth? I wasn't a fan of the finish - and, to be truthful, I felt the entire match was far too quick. There was a severe lack of spots, and the ending just made me so, so mad. But, as aforementioned, Carmella is the right choice to go over - but didn't Tamina look good? She dominated in the early stages, and cut an impassioned promo post-bout on Talking Smack.
Speaking of finishes - what on Earth was going on? We saw the Usos retain the WWE SmackDown Tag-Team Championships against the New Day. But the match ended in a count-out. Now, I don't necessarily mind that finish - it was similar to Neville dragging the referee to cost Austin Aries the Cruiserweight Championship at Payback - but it still felt cheap, and on a night where finishes weren't the best, I can feel the fans' anger. This felt like a stepping stone to a couple of matches down the line - Battleground and Summerslam, you imagine - but the match let me down somewhat. I felt the pacing, like the women's MITB, was slow and awkward, and didn't live up the hype.
Speaking of other low points, we saw The Ascension revealed as Breezango's secret attackers. What a missed opportunity. It should have been American Alpha, who remain mysteriously absent from WWE programming. It's an absolute farce what has happened to them, given they were the tag division's next great hope when they got called up to the main roster from NXT. Breezango beat the Ascension in a quick bout, which is good because it keeps them in the public eye, but this belonged on the pre-show. The issue with a win like this is that the Ascension have zero momentum. They are a nothing team and beating them does nothing to elevate Breezango. That said, the backstage promo - which was a clear Miami Vice homage - was terrific, and as entertaining as they've ever been. They remain my favourite team on either show.
In other news, we saw Mike and Maria Kanellis debut. Like the tag division, the SmackDown midcard really, really lacks a good heel. Hopefully this pair can act as the Miz and Maryse of the blue brand. I'd personally like to see Mike go up against the likes of Sami Zayn and Tye Dillinger. Dillinger was absent last night, as was the likes of Luke Harper and Erick Rowan. Couldn't WWE have fitted them onto the pre-show, perhaps in a US Championship No. 1 Contender's Match? The pre-show itself was a dud, full of nothing, bar the Hype Bros running over the Colons in a glorified house show bout.
The other three matches of the night were the most intriguing. Jinder Mahal retained his title vs Randy Orton, which wasn't a surprise. What was more of a surprise was the way he looked while doing so. The ending was ridiculous - and pretty much a carbon copy of the Backlash bout - but Mahal really impressed me during the match. Mahal looked methodical, and he received genuine heel heat - something so many, including Bray Wyatt, Kevin Owens, AJ Styles and Dolph Ziggler - have failed to do.
In the other title match, Naomi did brilliantly to carry the bout with Lana, who looked decent, if a little green. It's things like pacings which seemed off with her: she was going too slowly at times, too quickly at others. But Naomi - who, essentially, has a gymnastic background and isn't necessarily a 'worker' a la Natalya or Charlotte - did brilliantly carrying the match, using mat wrestling and getting the best out of her opponents. WWE was smart to tease a Carmella cash-in, but keeping the belt on Naomi is the right choice for now. Carmella can carry the briefcase for a while. She's undoubtedly the right choice: Charlotte doesn't need the rub, Becky Lynch would have been good - but she'd need a heel turn, Natalya has the least potential of all six at this stage of her career, and Tamina has never really been booked as a legitimate threat.
For those reasons, I'm glad Baron Corbin won the men's briefcase, after a fantastic main event. Shinsuke Nakamura and AJ Styles teased a singles bout between the pair - something I'd pay three figures to see - and Kevin Owens took great bumps, while Sami Zayn looked fierce. Every man was showcased and did themselves justice, but Corbin - a young heel - is the right choice to go over. The only question is: what happens now? Presuming Mahal goes onto face John Cena for a while, I'd like a Randy Orton heel turn, and hopefully a feud with Nakamura, Zayn or Styles. Owens can pre-occupy himself with somebody like Dillinger - a fresh new competitor, who will be elevated by being in a title programme.