medicine application

hi, i have to send an answer to the question “what motivates you to study medicine” for my medicine uni application but i dont know if what i want to write is okay, or is contradicting myself/obnoxious

(motivation 1)
-ive seen the way healthcare workers have helped my mother and tried to be incredibly understanding and supportive, alleviating her symptoms and i want to do the same thing for others

(motivation 2)
-but ive also seen how some workers are dismissive and rude & she was overprescribed painkillers + a surgical mistake which led to an overdose & her entering a coma
i dont want to sound obnoxious and i know mistakes occur but i was thinking of also including this point as my second motivation as i hope to give compassionate & attentive
care & try prevent similar experiences for others in the future to the best of my ability?
or do i just scrap this point and stick with the first

thank you🙏

Moved to the medicine section (and given a bump) so hopefully you'll get a response.

thank you (:

No worries. Going back to your question, I don't think those are contradictory motivations. Just be careful with the second half not just to criticise. I'd frame this as seeing firsthand the difference that good and poor care can have.

As a med student, hope I can help you

I think the first one is good, maybe expand a lot on that and dismiss the other points. The reason I say this is because it can trigger red flags if not delivered correctly, so to stay on the safe side I wouldn’t say it at all.

Just demonstrate your enthusiasm for wanting to become a doctor and reflect on the skills and qualities you have witnessed and how you have these same skills, or how you are planning on acquiring them.

ty for the response, (:
yeah for sure ill expand on the first point

but since my application is weak generally i want to make sure i dont give a generic response somehow since people probably have similar motivations, which is why i was thinking of adding the second briefly, but not criticising or blaming anyone just more as a point of seeing the importance of bad care? / trying my best to prevent it in future
im not sure

however if you think it will for sure be worse to add the second point/ will come across as obnoxious , i wont