Hi, I am fluent in French and got an A* at both GCSE and A-level French. Your writing is good, but there are some slight errors here and there. I will show you the phrase or word then show you what it should be. I can't do accents, so just ignore that.
des mots a très jeune âge- De mots a un tres jeune age.
commencé lire- commence a lire (accent on the a)
après j’ai regardé- Apres avoir regarde (sounds better)
le livre c’était- Le livre etait (no need for the c)
et ce trainé-ca trainé(with the little thing under the c)
de la comédie- de comedie (no need for la)
à cause de l’intrigue- grace à l'intrigue (sounds better)
qui s’appelle- qui s'appellera (you used future for sortira so must carry on in future)
Je ne peux pas vraiment attendre !- J'ai hate de le lire! (There is no translation for I really can't wait)
ne pleut- pleut rarement( no need for ne)
au Lisbonne- A Lisbonne
pas près de la mur ce qui était assez décevant- not sure what this means( maybe you mean mer instead of mur because mur is wall
près beaucoup des restaurants-
a proximite de plusieurs restaurants (sounds better)
dans le Portugal- au portugal
Il jouerait le volleyball avec les gens- not sure who you are talking about
quelques les souvenirs - quelques souvenirs (no need for les)
connais, ils sentiraient très exclu- je connais qu'ils apprecieront (what you said translates as because i know they would feel excluded)
Overall, a good essay with minor mistakes, but at GCSE they don't dwell upon this much. I would say a high B or low A as it is. With corrections definitely an A or A*. Good luck!!!!