actually I’m doing the same thing- I actually have a weird trait where I always want to be ahead of everyone in anything. 💀💀 it’s actually funny but that’s the thing that motivates me the most 😭👍 ok. Some people may say to take a break in the summer before doing your A-levels but even though that’s good advice- I can’t exactly do that. I have an unhealthy obsession with studying and learning. If i start studying in the morning, (if I don’t have a timer or anyone bothering me) i will study for 8-9 hours straight without going to the bathroom, eating and (i usually have a waterbottle next me) and leaving my seat. I start at daytime and when someone bothers me at night, it is really shocking how the window is dark. As I said- UNHEALTHY. Because I have this SUPER DUPER intense focus that it makes me forget to eat or need the bathroom. BUT- I hate revising. HATE. I love studying but HATE revising. It’s always pissing me off- 💩 the thing is that I ABSOLUTELY ADORE learning new concepts (usually by myself but in school is fine as well), it’s literally my hearts strongest desire, to learn something I never heard of. That’s why in my “free” time, I usually watch university lectures and it fascinates me. This study obsession might sound obsessive to some people and amazing to others BUT I would not want ANYONE to have this as well. Not only do I think of studying (whatever I learnt) 24/7, I also dream about studying when I’m sleeping. 💀🧍🏻*♀️Ik UR PROBABLY DISCOMBOBULATED RN. It’s probably lucid dreaming but idk 🤷*♀️. I really would not want to pose ‘cOnDiTiOn’ onto anyone, I have actually realized how unhealthy my situation is: if I’m studying- I’m forgetting the world exists and any noise will startle me and make my soul jump out of my body, and when I’m not studying- I only think about studying and I study in my brain- and when I’m thinking about studying, I feel a lot of guilt build up inside of me that I’m not learning or revising anything and then I have a chain of overthinking that usually ends up with my parents will have nothing about me that they could love and they couldn’t be prideful of me and I won’t be able to meet their high expectations of me and they will be utterly disappointed, embarrassed in front of other people and the only thread that connects me to them will be cut. Omg why the hell am I rambling 💀💀💀 I didn’t even notice🧍🏻*♀️🧍🏻*♀️🧍🏻*♀️🧍🏻*♀️ This was supposed to be about someone studying in the summer and I started to write an essay that probably nobody gives a crap about 💀👏👏 ok whatever I’m going to study now 😆 PFTTTT HAVE A GREAT DAY HO HO HO 🎅🎅🎅