The &quot;Not Rape&quot; Epidemic

Yes, agreeing to disagree sounds like a plan :smile:

. There's just one thing I can't resist pointing out:

ch0c0h01ic

This is just plain wrong. Yes some criminals may use a victim being drunk as an excuse but it seldom stands up in a court of law.

It meant rapists use being drunk themselves as an excuse ("I didn't know what I was doing!") and it stands up in court.

Reply 121

griffster91

RobertPires

If you are talking date rape, then it isn't "not rape", it's rape. If you are saying you got a little bit too drunk and did something you regret, then you are culpable for it. Even if this person was a "trusted family friend". If you at some point made it clear to this individual you were willing to sleep with them and have then later changed your mind, this person is not responsible for your actions. I really don't understand where she's going on this point...

I think it means like kids getting assaulted when they are younger..y'know they come into the kids room at night sort of thing, not date rape.

Reply 122

tomdublong

ah, the old jail-bait dilemma. Its pretty unavoidable unfortunately because some of these girls are just too dang sexy.

Reply 123

unfortunately this happens when girls befriend boys and hang out with them.......

girls should stick with girls and boys with boys.....and no, that does not mean that they become homosexuals by doing that, but they will be safer and have a better chance of avoiding rape or NOT rape......

Reply 124

cazamatazz

Eh, people always tell me I wasn't raped. Hilariously, they give me negative reputation on this site when I say someone drugged and forcibly had sex with me. Clearly not rape. Oh no.

That article's kind of whack, though. Most of the girls I know who've been raped haven't been raped by older men or sexual predators (at least, not people you'd recognise as sexual predators). It's mostly friends and boyfriends.

Yep, people on this site are always horrible when it comes to stuff like this. There was a thread a few days ago about a girl who did willingly go home with a boy but then he had anal sex with her even after she said no and tried to push him off and one of the responses was something like "She shouldn't have been such a slut then". Hope you're ok though :smile:

And I was about to say the same thing- I know of a few "not rape" instances with my friends but none are the kind in that essay, they tend to be boys that they knew as friends who got drunk for the first time and that kind of thing.

Reply 125

saalih

unfortunately this happens when girls befriend boys and hang out with them.......

girls should stick with girls and boys with boys.....and no, that does not mean that they become homosexuals by doing that, but they will be safer and have a better chance of avoiding rape or NOT rape......

Or.... people should learn to control themselves better. You can't just segregate the genders; it wouldn't work.

Reply 126

Holly Hiskey

Or.... people should learn to control themselves better. You can't just segregate the genders; it wouldn't work.

true, but segregate wherever possible, it would definitely help.....

i never said people should not learn to control themselves, but there are some horny dogs who have 0 respect for women and it is not easy to make them control themselves.....that is why a rapist should receive the death penalty.....

Reply 127

saalih

true, but segregate wherever possible, it would definitely help.....

i never said people should not learn to control themselves, but there are some horny dogs who have 0 respect for women and it is not easy to make them control themselves.....that is why a rapist should receive the death penalty.....

But then people would never meet their future husband/ wife/boyfriend/girlfriend and then the human race wouldn't be able to procreate.
I'm not sure if you're a troll or really stupid

Reply 128

Holly Hiskey

But then people would never meet their future husband/ wife/boyfriend/girlfriend and then the human race wouldn't be able to procreate.
I'm not sure if you're a troll or really stupid

lol, so in order to meet one's future husband/wife segregation is wrong!!! this is stupid

there are many other ways to meet potential husbands/wives...through family members, friends etc.

and boyfriend/girlfriend is nothing but inviting trouble......

Reply 129

saalih

lol, so in order to meet one's future husband/wife segregation is wrong!!! this is stupid

there are many other ways to meet potential husbands/wives...through family members, friends etc.

and boyfriend/girlfriend is nothing but inviting trouble......

Boyfriends and girlfriends are bad in what way?
Still undecided on the troll/ stupid but turning slightly more to troll :rolleyes:

Reply 130

Holly Hiskey

Boyfriends and girlfriends are bad in what way?
Still undecided on the troll/ stupid but turning slightly more to troll :rolleyes:

i could care less if you think i am stupid or a troll......i know i am neither

yes boyfriend/girlfriend is bad, because it leads to sex before marriage, it leads to broken hearts, it leads to broken marriages as spouses start comparing with their ex bfs or gfs....it breaks homes, etc. etc.

Reply 131

L i b

19

saalih

i could care less if you think i am stupid

Glad to see your command of the English language is tip-top.

Reply 132

L i b

Glad to see your command of the English language is tip-top.

glad to see you ignoring the main topic and discussing the english language.....

Reply 133

silverbolt

19

saalih

unfortunately this happens when girls befriend boys and hang out with them.......

girls should stick with girls and boys with boys.....and no, that does not mean that they become homosexuals by doing that, but they will be safer and have a better chance of avoiding rape or NOT rape......

oh go back to your cave you bloody moron

Reply 134

silverbolt

oh go back to your cave you bloody moron

I don't that I can add anything to this; it pretty much sums up how I feel too :p:

Reply 135

tommy5x

I agree that there is a horiffic trend of people simply not believing women who claim that they were raped, but I reject the notion that predatory men are soley, or even mostly to blame.

Before I begin I'll just say that the intoxication levels of the attacker should have no bearing in the outcome of any trial for any crime, ever. For a start, if a man's so drunk he doesn't understand a 'no' then he's far beyond getting an erection; and anybody who assumes consent deserves what they get.

I moderate a mid-sized forum aimed at teenagers so online as well in real life with friends I am always shocked (and honestly a little disgusted) at how willing people, mostly females in my experience, are to assume rape. I'm not saying that drunk/drugged/scantily clad people deserve to be raped by any stretch, but an alarming number of young women are far too prepared after a night drinking and waking up next to someone to assume that they have been raped. I am sure that some of these people were genuinely taken advantage of, but my point will come shortly.

Just to contextualise this, we have an anonymous submission form for posting in a specific thread. We can trace IPs in case we decide that people are genuinely in danger of hurting themselves/others but we never trace anonymous posts otherwise. We had a post from a girl who said that she'd been out for the night and she decided to leave. Her male friend accompanied her home to make sure she came to no harm, and in the morning she woke up next to him with a used condom on the floor. She basically assumed she'd been raped. Now I know most of the active members quite well and recognised the posting style. I knew one of the girls had been out that night and I knew she was with another forumer who I expected was 'the friend. I asked him about it and he told me that he'd taken her back and they were both tipsy but coherent and she'd basically thrown herself at him. I have no reason to doubt him. I known the guy for years, he's polite and conscientious, has always taken good care of his female friends in terms of keeping them safe, to my knowledge has always been the perfect gentlemen. Now, from my experience (and some extremely embarrasing videos which are the evidence >_<) I know that if you drink a fair amount quickly you can end up forgetting things before the point of oblivion, so I'm willing to take his word on it that he didn't violate her. I'm not sure that I should doubt her claim either though but she offers no knowledge and he had a sincere and honest (it seemed) recollection of events. It disturbed me that she would wantonly, with no memory of before or during the act, accuse a guy we have both knwon to be an excellent example of what young people should aspire to be and she has never had any reason to distrust, of a crime so severe as rape.

I know that there is cause to believe them both, but given the circumstances he seems the more credible. I don't know if this is a standard model accross the board, but the frequency or accusations in tenuous cicumstances surely has some part to play.

Reply 136

Holly Hiskey

I don't that I can add anything to this; it pretty much sums up how I feel too :p:

didnt know they had segregation of the sexes in caves!!!

lol, both of you are stupid

Reply 137

saalih

didnt know they had segregation of the sexes in caves!!!

lol, both of you are stupid

Lol, you are suggesting that both sexes should be separated and that boyfriends and girlfriends should never exist. Are you saying that boys and girls should be introduced through their families and immediately married? And then are they meant to remain segregated once they're married or can they live together then? If so I'm sure that you're aware that rape can happen within marriage?
I should really stop feeding the troll but I just can't help it

Reply 138

Holly Hiskey

Lol, you are suggesting that both sexes should be separated and that boyfriends and girlfriends should never exist. Are you saying that boys and girls should be introduced through their families and immediately married? And then are they meant to remain segregated once they're married or can they live together then? If so I'm sure that you're aware that rape can happen within marriage?
I should really stop feeding the troll but I just can't help it

how easily you dodged the "caves & segregation" point.....but i dont blame you, stupid people like you do that.....

yes, boyfriends and girlfriends should not exist, no matter what you say, cons are more than the pros.....

as for rape within marriage, that is what sick people do......and it is not as common as the rape outside of marriage and you cannot deny that..

when i say segregation, there are limits to it, i dont mean to lock girls in one place and boys in another, surely they will interact sometimes at some places, but the boyfriend girlfriend thing should not be entertained at all..

Reply 139