Competition - post a photo you've taken of nature >>

Leaving Oxbridge after First Year...please help :(

Hi everyone,

A year ago I wouldn't ever have dreamt I'd be in this position- I was always so excited to go to uni. This is a very long read- I apologise- but please try and bear with me..I'll seriously appreciate any advice you've got.

I slogged it out at school, have always worked really hard for good grades, etc etc. I applied for engineering at Oxford, got an offer, started there October 2009. I simply love my college and friends and get on well with a huge majority of my year. I was president of a large university wide society by my second term, won JCR election, etc. So academics aside, everything seemed ideal really :frown:

Academics wise: I fell ill in my first term and missed loads of lectures, meaning I got very behind. I was always trying to play catch-up and never really caught up to the same standard as the boys in my group. It didn't help that I also hated my course- none of the content was engaging, none of it was interesting. It was just solid, and nothing made me want to work hard to solve the problems that we would be set every week. (I had never normally been someone to shy away from hard work, I used to relish it and loved a challenge). I went to speak to a pastoral tutor about changing courses and explained that I really wasn't enjoying my subject and he told me to stick with it and see how I did in my mocks after Christmas, and maybe it was just my illness that had made it harder for me. I agreed to stick with it.
So it went on; I always managed to hand most of my work in on time and found my classes bearable although mind-numbingly boring- I just struggled when it came to consolidating and revising everything for exams.
I asked about changing course again, and this time got told that now it was Easter there was no point me changing as I was too far behind and that I should stick with things and try and pass first year.
In second term and over Easter I experienced personal problems at home which disrupted my revision further. Up to this point I had managed to pass any mocks which had been set, albeit not very well.
About 6 weeks before exams were due to start, in third term, I requested extra one-on-one classes on the aspects I had never fully got to grips with due to having missed them in first term.
My tutor simply said that it was 'college policy to ensure that each of our students receives the same level of support and teaching' and that 'it would be unfair on the boys' if I were to be given extra classes, and he simply left it at that.

I then went on to dismally fail all my mocks before my end of year exams (I had never scored so low in my life) and it was then that the alarm bells started ringing. My confidence by now had plummeted and my hatred for my course was at a new level.

My tutor requested to speak to me in private and went on to tell me that an Oxford education simply wasn't for me, and that I didn't belong here with everyone else. He said that 'perhaps you made a mistake in applying here, and we made a bigger one in taking you'. I said nothing throughout these exchanges and left the room in tears.
This was 2 weeks before my exams were due to start.

I averaged about 2 hours sleep in exam week, constantly revising, but not effectively, used to cry myself to sleep and worked myself in such a state before every exam. I was fuelled off pro plus and made myself very ill afterwards and had to leave uni early so didn't even get to enjoy my last week properly.

Results came out. I failed, unsurprisingly. My tutor emailed me telling me he was very disappointed with my results and explained that resits were possible but that he'd like to discuss things in more detail with me and so to provide him with a phone number. I did accordingly, and he rang me up and spoke, once again telling me that I wasn't fit to stay at this uni any longer. He said that although resits weren't for a good 3 months, that I would have to think very very hard about whether I would like to do them as he didn't think I would make it despite 3 months of revision and that I should start ringing unis now to see if I can get myself in somewhere before the Clearing applicants.

This has left me absolutely crushed. I have spoken to my parents and they fully support whatever I choose to do, which I'm lucky for I guess. I've started revising for resits already despite my tutor's suggestions.
I have asked about changing yet again and have simply been told that 'it is complicated' for 2010 entry and that I may have to re-apply for 2011 entry, and even then it wouldn't be guaranteed obviously.

I'm heartbroken at the thought of leaving this uni as I've worked so hard to get this far- and I'm kicking myself at picking the wrong subject. I'm disappointed at my supposed 'world-class' uni at the lack of support they've given me, especially my subject tutor. I find it incredibly hard to face him now after he's put me down so much. I don't know why but it seems he has taken a particular dislike to me.

All I know is, even if I pass my exams I don't wish to study engineering any longer. I just can't bear another 3 years of it.

What's the point of studying at such a good uni if I'm just going to be miserable?

Please help :frown:

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1

Chumbaniya

There is no such university as Oxbridge. Where were you, Oxford or Cambridge?

Reply 2

Al0n

Just find a course that you enjoy. Being happy is the main thing.

Reply 3

DuncanMono

Chumbaniya

There is no such university as Oxbridge. Where were you, Oxford or Cambridge?

haha, I think your signature thing is absolutely wicked!

Reply 4

shiny

Not really sure what to say other than try to move on and start again.

Reply 5

mel0n

Awww that sucks :frown:

Study somewhere you'll be happier, but doesn't your teacher know you fell ill or whatever?? I'd have expected them to be more understanding, hmmm. However, this also:

Chumbaniya

There is no such university as Oxbridge. Where were you, Oxford or Cambridge?

Reply 6

me, myself and I

Chumbaniya

There is no such university as Oxbridge. Where were you, Oxford or Cambridge?

Haha, I just didn't want to give it a bad name.
Since you're asking- Oxford.

Reply 7

olipal

It says in the original post she applied for Engineering at Oxford, and got it. Was I the only one who read it all?

Reply 8

me, myself and I

mel0n

Awww that sucks :frown:

Study somewhere you'll be happier, but doesn't your teacher know you fell ill or whatever?? I'd have expected them to be more understanding, hmmm. However, this also:

:lol:

yeah he knew I was ill. he said himself that he wasn't a very sympathetic person :rolleyes:

and told me to man up.

join the legion

It sounds to me like you did lots of things right and they did lots of things wrong. You:
- asked for extra help to compensate you missing lectures
- asked to switch subjects when it became obvious that the course wasn't for you
- went to seek the advice of many people who should be trying to help you

Everyone who should have helped you left you in academic limbo.

Just a thought, if you are at Cambridge can't you switch to a completely different subject (for example law, management sciences or philosophy) for the second and third parts of your degree?

EDIT - just read that you applied to Oxford and I don't think that their courses are as flexible as the ones at Cambridge...

Reply 11

me, myself and I

olipal

It says in the original post she applied for Engineering at Oxford, and got it. Was I the only one who read it all?

haha sorry- I edited it.
I figured most people who know me would know it was me by this post anyway so thought 'what's the point of not specifying?' :p:

silly me.

Reply 12

Cobric

Oh man, this does sound genuinely awful, sounds like a sort of nightmare scenario, I would just like to say well done for coping up until now :smile:

. So is it a change in course you're looking for? Could you talk to your college or other colleges about a different course? If not then perhaps you would like to move away from Oxbridge, whether it be Oxford or Cambridge, not sure given your post, and look at other universities. You can always just ask around, no harm or shame in that. If worst comes to worst then you can always just leave, take a gap year, work on some work experience, perhaps get some more A levels if you want, do something to take your mind off of it and re-apply next year.

I really do hope it goes well, from the sounds of it it has hardly been the Oxbridge dream eh? Anyway, good luck, live long and prosper.

Reply 13

OJM32

Not really advice as i dont have any experience of this situation but i would just follow your tutors advice and apply to another uni for a course which you are interested in.

Just out of interest what is so bad about engineering as i'm studying civil engineering this sept, you have me worried.

Reply 14

olipal

me, myself and I

haha sorry- I edited it.
I figured most people who know me would know it was me by this post anyway so thought 'what's the point of not specifying?' :p:

silly me.

I thought there was something suspicious going on... :holmes:

Anyways, you should be where you are happy, after all, isn't that partly what Uni is meant to be about?

Reply 15

OhHowIronic

Sorry to hear this OP :frown:

i know what its like having to catch up with work after a long illness. I cant advise you really, all i cans ay is good luck, and i hope it all works out for you x also the American uni thing might not be a bad idea as long as you can afford it.

Reply 16

Chumbaniya

me, myself and I

Haha, I just didn't want to give it a bad name.
Since you're asking- Oxford.

Oxford already has a bad name. I wouldn't want a degree from there if they just gave it to me.

Reply 17

sir-lewis

Pick a course and study at birmingham. Its amazing =]

Reply 18

me, myself and I

BenFarren

I really do hope it goes well, from the sounds of it it has hardly been the Oxbridge dream eh? Anyway, good luck, live long and prosper.

Thank you, that was a lovely post and has served to get my spirits up. I haven't even told most of my friends but it's lovely to get encouragement like this- something which has been lacking so much over the last year. :smile:

OJM32

I appreciate what you're saying but I'm concerned I'll just pick something on a whim to start in 2010 and not even enjoy it second time round :frown:

There's also a little bit of ego left in me- not sure if this is good or bad :confused:

- but I'm just dying to prove my tutor wrong. Plus i suppose it would look better for the future if i could say i had passed first year at ox i guess? rather than just dropping out?

Anyway, please please don't worry about civil engineering- that's what i applied for at my other choices too. You're rpobably to different to me, but personally I just found the Oxford course very rushed and covering SO many aspects too quickly. That would be okay if I enjoyed it but it was the fact that I had to study streams of engineering i hated- like electrical for example- and we can't specialise until 3rd year- which made it a bit of a living hell if I'm honest. Plus i'm crossing my fingers that you'll have a supportive tutor :smile:

All the best anyway :smile:

Reply 19

shiny

OJM32

Just out of interest what is so bad about engineering as i'm studying civil engineering this sept, you have me worried.

As a general note, engineering is not bad but very few 17-18 years old have an appreciation of it before applying to university. As a consequence, most go into learning the subject blind and many will never love it. A very significant number of engineering graduates don't go on to have careers in engineering - they are just not interested.