Go to first unread
Back
to top
Dealing with Oxbridge rejection
Watch
Announcements
This feels a bit premature because I see a lot of people on TSR getting interview offers, which, may I congratulate you for, because that is an amazing achievement in itself.
But I do feel as though I for one never thought about rejection until it came, and hit me like a truck. I am extremely happy at my current university, but I'm still not over my Oxbridge rejection, and I'm not sure I ever will be. I was at interview for a long period of time, and they released the candidates one by one, with me being one of the very last, I believe the last for my course, to be sent home. Maybe they considered me until that moment. Who knows.
But the rejection was the first time in my life that one of my dreams, one that I'd had since I was about ten years old, had gone up in smoke. It made me feel like I wasn't good enough, academically, for anything. And as someone who was, and still is, considering academia as a career, this is pretty damming.
I didn't ignore the possibility of rejection due to arrogance, it was just something I never truly considered. I just imagined what it would be like to get in, not to not get in.
I considered reapplying but didn't want to spend a gap year possibly having to deal with rejection again. The course I am studying now is unique in module combination to me, something I could not have done at Oxbridge, or at any other university.
For interviews:
So whilst I really want you to enjoy the feeling of getting an interview, please keep the possibility in the back of your mind that you may end up at another university. And this is sometimes a better thing. I don't think I could have coped with the pressure of Oxbridge.
Enjoy your interview. If you're there for a few days, take some time to explore and relax. And if you've been rejected at this point, don't worry. It's not the end of the world.
For decisions:
Getting that letter or email may be one of the most exciting yet terrifying things in your life. Approach it how you like - open it instantly or leave it for while. Just remember, a piece of paper or an email doesn't define you. If you want to reapply, that's an option, and you will be a much stronger applicant the next time round. Going to a different university isn't going to be the end of the world. Just remember, you've made it this far. That's a massive achievement in itself.
Update:
4 years later, I am now a postgraduate at Cambridge.
But I do feel as though I for one never thought about rejection until it came, and hit me like a truck. I am extremely happy at my current university, but I'm still not over my Oxbridge rejection, and I'm not sure I ever will be. I was at interview for a long period of time, and they released the candidates one by one, with me being one of the very last, I believe the last for my course, to be sent home. Maybe they considered me until that moment. Who knows.
But the rejection was the first time in my life that one of my dreams, one that I'd had since I was about ten years old, had gone up in smoke. It made me feel like I wasn't good enough, academically, for anything. And as someone who was, and still is, considering academia as a career, this is pretty damming.
I didn't ignore the possibility of rejection due to arrogance, it was just something I never truly considered. I just imagined what it would be like to get in, not to not get in.
I considered reapplying but didn't want to spend a gap year possibly having to deal with rejection again. The course I am studying now is unique in module combination to me, something I could not have done at Oxbridge, or at any other university.
For interviews:
So whilst I really want you to enjoy the feeling of getting an interview, please keep the possibility in the back of your mind that you may end up at another university. And this is sometimes a better thing. I don't think I could have coped with the pressure of Oxbridge.
Enjoy your interview. If you're there for a few days, take some time to explore and relax. And if you've been rejected at this point, don't worry. It's not the end of the world.
For decisions:
Getting that letter or email may be one of the most exciting yet terrifying things in your life. Approach it how you like - open it instantly or leave it for while. Just remember, a piece of paper or an email doesn't define you. If you want to reapply, that's an option, and you will be a much stronger applicant the next time round. Going to a different university isn't going to be the end of the world. Just remember, you've made it this far. That's a massive achievement in itself.
Update:
4 years later, I am now a postgraduate at Cambridge.
Last edited by Sandtrooper; 2 months ago
77
reply
Report
#2
(Original post by Edminzodo)
This feels a bit premature because I see a lot of people on TSR getting interview offers, which, may I congratulate you for, because that is an amazing achievement in itself.
But I do feel as though I for one never thought about rejection until it came, and hit me like a truck. I am extremely happy at my current university, but I'm still not over my Oxbridge rejection, and I'm not sure I ever will be. I was at interview for a long period of time, and they released the candidates one by one, with me being one of the very last, I believe the last for my course, to be sent home. Maybe they considered me until that moment. Who knows.
But the rejection was the first time in my life that one of my dreams, one that I'd had since I was about ten years old, had gone up in smoke. It made me feel like I wasn't good enough, academically, for anything. And as someone who was, and still is, considering academia as a career, this is pretty damming.
I didn't ignore the possibility of rejection due to arrogance, it was just something I never truly considered. I just imagined what it would be like to get in, not to not get in.
I considered reapplying but didn't want to spend a gap year possibly having to deal with rejection again. The course I am studying now is unique in module combination to me, something I could not have done at Oxbridge, or at any other university.
So whilst I really want you to enjoy the feeling of getting an interview, please keep the possibility in the back of your mind that you may end up at another university. And this is sometimes a better thing. I don't think I could have coped with the pressure of Oxbridge.
Enjoy your interview. If you're there for a few days, take some time to explore and relax. And if you've been rejected at this point, don't worry. It's not the end of the world.
This feels a bit premature because I see a lot of people on TSR getting interview offers, which, may I congratulate you for, because that is an amazing achievement in itself.
But I do feel as though I for one never thought about rejection until it came, and hit me like a truck. I am extremely happy at my current university, but I'm still not over my Oxbridge rejection, and I'm not sure I ever will be. I was at interview for a long period of time, and they released the candidates one by one, with me being one of the very last, I believe the last for my course, to be sent home. Maybe they considered me until that moment. Who knows.
But the rejection was the first time in my life that one of my dreams, one that I'd had since I was about ten years old, had gone up in smoke. It made me feel like I wasn't good enough, academically, for anything. And as someone who was, and still is, considering academia as a career, this is pretty damming.
I didn't ignore the possibility of rejection due to arrogance, it was just something I never truly considered. I just imagined what it would be like to get in, not to not get in.
I considered reapplying but didn't want to spend a gap year possibly having to deal with rejection again. The course I am studying now is unique in module combination to me, something I could not have done at Oxbridge, or at any other university.
So whilst I really want you to enjoy the feeling of getting an interview, please keep the possibility in the back of your mind that you may end up at another university. And this is sometimes a better thing. I don't think I could have coped with the pressure of Oxbridge.
Enjoy your interview. If you're there for a few days, take some time to explore and relax. And if you've been rejected at this point, don't worry. It's not the end of the world.
It's important to be prepared for any outcome. Also, to not try and second-guess what's going on when there's no way of knowing. It's hard to do both those things (be prepared for anything, and to not second-guess), but ruminating is not good for the soul in this respect 
Sorry to hear you are still not over your own rejection. That's very sad to hear
Whether a person gets into Oxbridge or not should not define how they see or feel themselves as a person, about their intelligence or in general! 
Hope that one day soon, you will be able to be proud of yourself for who you are and where you're studying, and to banish Oxford application ghouls forever 
3
reply
Report
#3
(Original post by Edminzodo)
This feels a bit premature because I see a lot of people on TSR getting interview offers, which, may I congratulate you for, because that is an amazing achievement in itself.
But I do feel as though I for one never thought about rejection until it came, and hit me like a truck. I am extremely happy at my current university, but I'm still not over my Oxbridge rejection, and I'm not sure I ever will be. I was at interview for a long period of time, and they released the candidates one by one, with me being one of the very last, I believe the last for my course, to be sent home. Maybe they considered me until that moment. Who knows.
But the rejection was the first time in my life that one of my dreams, one that I'd had since I was about ten years old, had gone up in smoke. It made me feel like I wasn't good enough, academically, for anything. And as someone who was, and still is, considering academia as a career, this is pretty damming.
I didn't ignore the possibility of rejection due to arrogance, it was just something I never truly considered. I just imagined what it would be like to get in, not to not get in.
I considered reapplying but didn't want to spend a gap year possibly having to deal with rejection again. The course I am studying now is unique in module combination to me, something I could not have done at Oxbridge, or at any other university.
So whilst I really want you to enjoy the feeling of getting an interview, please keep the possibility in the back of your mind that you may end up at another university. And this is sometimes a better thing. I don't think I could have coped with the pressure of Oxbridge.
Enjoy your interview. If you're there for a few days, take some time to explore and relax. And if you've been rejected at this point, don't worry. It's not the end of the world.
This feels a bit premature because I see a lot of people on TSR getting interview offers, which, may I congratulate you for, because that is an amazing achievement in itself.
But I do feel as though I for one never thought about rejection until it came, and hit me like a truck. I am extremely happy at my current university, but I'm still not over my Oxbridge rejection, and I'm not sure I ever will be. I was at interview for a long period of time, and they released the candidates one by one, with me being one of the very last, I believe the last for my course, to be sent home. Maybe they considered me until that moment. Who knows.
But the rejection was the first time in my life that one of my dreams, one that I'd had since I was about ten years old, had gone up in smoke. It made me feel like I wasn't good enough, academically, for anything. And as someone who was, and still is, considering academia as a career, this is pretty damming.
I didn't ignore the possibility of rejection due to arrogance, it was just something I never truly considered. I just imagined what it would be like to get in, not to not get in.
I considered reapplying but didn't want to spend a gap year possibly having to deal with rejection again. The course I am studying now is unique in module combination to me, something I could not have done at Oxbridge, or at any other university.
So whilst I really want you to enjoy the feeling of getting an interview, please keep the possibility in the back of your mind that you may end up at another university. And this is sometimes a better thing. I don't think I could have coped with the pressure of Oxbridge.
Enjoy your interview. If you're there for a few days, take some time to explore and relax. And if you've been rejected at this point, don't worry. It's not the end of the world.
8
reply
(Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
Amen to your advice on here
It's important to be prepared for any outcome. Also, to not try and second-guess what's going on when there's no way of knowing. It's hard to do both those things (be prepared for anything, and to not second-guess), but ruminating is not good for the soul in this respect 
Sorry to hear you are still not over your own rejection. That's very sad to hear
Whether a person gets into Oxbridge or not should not define how they see or feel themselves as a person, about their intelligence or in general! 
Hope that one day soon, you will be able to be proud of yourself for who you are and where you're studying, and to banish Oxford application ghouls forever 
Amen to your advice on here
It's important to be prepared for any outcome. Also, to not try and second-guess what's going on when there's no way of knowing. It's hard to do both those things (be prepared for anything, and to not second-guess), but ruminating is not good for the soul in this respect Sorry to hear you are still not over your own rejection. That's very sad to hear
Whether a person gets into Oxbridge or not should not define how they see or feel themselves as a person, about their intelligence or in general! Hope that one day soon, you will be able to be proud of yourself for who you are and where you're studying, and to banish Oxford application ghouls forever
2
reply
Report
#5
So don't fret
You'll be fine Just "reach for the stars! Cimb every mountain higher!" 
(You're probs too young to get the reference
)
2
reply
Report
#6
Think of it as a blessing. I've heard Oxford really has a pressure cooker atmosphere and has terrible pastoral support! If you have any type of mental health issue, Oxford will drive you to the brink, if not over it. Basing your uni choice solely on prestige is not what the academic elite who deserve uni places do.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
8
reply
(Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
Here's hoping! Oxford doesn't have a monopoly on most career paths, after all. Plenty of non-Oxbridge people who are high fliers across various fields! Including in academia
So don't fret You'll be fine 
Just "reach for the stars! Cimb every mountain higher!" 
(You're probs too young to get the reference 
)
Here's hoping! Oxford doesn't have a monopoly on most career paths, after all. Plenty of non-Oxbridge people who are high fliers across various fields! Including in academia
So don't fret
You'll be fine Just "reach for the stars! Cimb every mountain higher!" (You're probs too young to get the reference
)
Spoiler:
And I love a bit of S Club 7.
Show
And I love a bit of S Club 7.
0
reply
Report
#8
0
reply
(Original post by zezno)
F*ck them, it's their loss. They don't deserve you. Work hard and become successful then rub it in their faces
F*ck them, it's their loss. They don't deserve you. Work hard and become successful then rub it in their faces
(Original post by super_kawaii)
Think of it as a blessing. I've heard Oxford really has a pressure cooker atmosphere and has terrible pastoral support! If you have any type of mental health issue, Oxford will drive you to the brink, if not over it. Basing your uni choice solely on prestige is not what the academic elite who deserve uni places do.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Think of it as a blessing. I've heard Oxford really has a pressure cooker atmosphere and has terrible pastoral support! If you have any type of mental health issue, Oxford will drive you to the brink, if not over it. Basing your uni choice solely on prestige is not what the academic elite who deserve uni places do.
Posted from TSR Mobile
0
reply
Report
#10
I will try to keep it in mind. What I won't do though is get all bitter and say 'I didn't want to go anyway!'. That would be a lie. I'd just get over it, I think.
Spoiler:
I kinda wanna get in tho
Show
I kinda wanna get in tho
2
reply
Report
#11
(Original post by Edminzodo)
This feels a bit premature because I see a lot of people on TSR getting interview offers, which, may I congratulate you for, because that is an amazing achievement in itself.
But I do feel as though I for one never thought about rejection until it came, and hit me like a truck. I am extremely happy at my current university, but I'm still not over my Oxbridge rejection, and I'm not sure I ever will be. I was at interview for a long period of time, and they released the candidates one by one, with me being one of the very last, I believe the last for my course, to be sent home. Maybe they considered me until that moment. Who knows.
But the rejection was the first time in my life that one of my dreams, one that I'd had since I was about ten years old, had gone up in smoke. It made me feel like I wasn't good enough, academically, for anything. And as someone who was, and still is, considering academia as a career, this is pretty damming.
I didn't ignore the possibility of rejection due to arrogance, it was just something I never truly considered. I just imagined what it would be like to get in, not to not get in.
I considered reapplying but didn't want to spend a gap year possibly having to deal with rejection again. The course I am studying now is unique in module combination to me, something I could not have done at Oxbridge, or at any other university.
So whilst I really want you to enjoy the feeling of getting an interview, please keep the possibility in the back of your mind that you may end up at another university. And this is sometimes a better thing. I don't think I could have coped with the pressure of Oxbridge.
Enjoy your interview. If you're there for a few days, take some time to explore and relax. And if you've been rejected at this point, don't worry. It's not the end of the world.
This feels a bit premature because I see a lot of people on TSR getting interview offers, which, may I congratulate you for, because that is an amazing achievement in itself.
But I do feel as though I for one never thought about rejection until it came, and hit me like a truck. I am extremely happy at my current university, but I'm still not over my Oxbridge rejection, and I'm not sure I ever will be. I was at interview for a long period of time, and they released the candidates one by one, with me being one of the very last, I believe the last for my course, to be sent home. Maybe they considered me until that moment. Who knows.
But the rejection was the first time in my life that one of my dreams, one that I'd had since I was about ten years old, had gone up in smoke. It made me feel like I wasn't good enough, academically, for anything. And as someone who was, and still is, considering academia as a career, this is pretty damming.
I didn't ignore the possibility of rejection due to arrogance, it was just something I never truly considered. I just imagined what it would be like to get in, not to not get in.
I considered reapplying but didn't want to spend a gap year possibly having to deal with rejection again. The course I am studying now is unique in module combination to me, something I could not have done at Oxbridge, or at any other university.
So whilst I really want you to enjoy the feeling of getting an interview, please keep the possibility in the back of your mind that you may end up at another university. And this is sometimes a better thing. I don't think I could have coped with the pressure of Oxbridge.
Enjoy your interview. If you're there for a few days, take some time to explore and relax. And if you've been rejected at this point, don't worry. It's not the end of the world.
(Original post by Abstract_Prism)
I will try to keep it in mind. What I won't do though is get all bitter and say 'I didn't want to go anyway!'. That would be a lie. I'd just get over it, I think.
I will try to keep it in mind. What I won't do though is get all bitter and say 'I didn't want to go anyway!'. That would be a lie. I'd just get over it, I think.
Spoiler:
I kinda wanna get in tho
Show
I kinda wanna get in tho
What subject are you applying for- and at oxford or cambridge? I want to hopefully apply to cambridge for economics next year!
2
reply
Report
#13
(Original post by super_kawaii)
Think of it as a blessing. I've heard Oxford really has a pressure cooker atmosphere and has terrible pastoral support! If you have any type of mental health issue, Oxford will drive you to the brink, if not over it. Basing your uni choice solely on prestige is not what the academic elite who deserve uni places do.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Think of it as a blessing. I've heard Oxford really has a pressure cooker atmosphere and has terrible pastoral support! If you have any type of mental health issue, Oxford will drive you to the brink, if not over it. Basing your uni choice solely on prestige is not what the academic elite who deserve uni places do.
Posted from TSR Mobile
As to the question posed, dealing with an Oxbridge rejection is, I think, about trying to get perspective on it. No-one wants to accept that there were people better than them who were offered a place, but it is important to remember that relatively speaking Oxford (and Cambridge) are small - they simply cannot offer places to everyone who 'deserves' one. Having made a competitive application/being interviewed is an achievement in itself and puts you in the top percentile of students - that in itself should remind you that you are talented and gifted academically, and although Oxbridge would have been nice, it really isn't the end of the world.
6
reply
(Original post by RayApparently)
You're one of the good 'uns Ed.
You're one of the good 'uns Ed.
1
reply
Report
#15
(Original post by Reality Check)
These are entirely baseless anecdotal claims about Oxford's pastoral support.
These are entirely baseless anecdotal claims about Oxford's pastoral support.
2
reply
Report
#16
(Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
To call the claims entirely baseless is a bit strong, don't you think? Not everyone who's been to Oxford would give their pastoral support a glowing report or recommend it as a uni with good (let alone excellent) pastoral care provisions in place...
To call the claims entirely baseless is a bit strong, don't you think? Not everyone who's been to Oxford would give their pastoral support a glowing report or recommend it as a uni with good (let alone excellent) pastoral care provisions in place...
Of course there will be isolated incidents of poor pastoral support - it would be unrealistic to suggest otherwise. But to have a blanket 'Oxford has terrible pastoral support' is not a valid claim. In fact, due to the college system, it's reasonable to suggest that Oxford would have better pastoral support than a larger, more 'faceless' university.
Sorry to labour the point, but I think it's important to shine a light on these passing, unverified claims about Oxbridge which so often get posted without being challenged or criticised. They have enough of a problem attracting the best students from all backgrounds without these sort of sweeping claims putting yet more students off applying.
2
reply
Report
#17
(Original post by Reality Check)
No, I belive the claim "Oxford really has a pressure cooker atmosphere and has terrible pastoral support!" is genuinely baseless. If someone's going to make sweeping generalisations like that, then there needs to at least some sort of evidence to back it up. Otherwise, it's akin to all the other old chestnuts about Oxbridge: 'there aren't really any non public school students there'; 'everyone's really posh'; 'everyone did 4 A levels and got A* in them all'.
Of course there will be isolated incidents of poor pastoral support - it would be unrealistic to suggest otherwise. But to have a blanket 'Oxford has terrible pastoral support' is not a valid claim. In fact, due to the college system, it's reasonable to suggest that Oxford would have better pastoral support than a larger, more 'faceless' university.
Sorry to labour the point, but I think it's important to shine a light on these passing, unverified claims about Oxbridge which so often get posted without being challenged or criticised. They have enough of a problem attracting the best students from all backgrounds without these sort of sweeping claims putting yet more students off applying.
No, I belive the claim "Oxford really has a pressure cooker atmosphere and has terrible pastoral support!" is genuinely baseless. If someone's going to make sweeping generalisations like that, then there needs to at least some sort of evidence to back it up. Otherwise, it's akin to all the other old chestnuts about Oxbridge: 'there aren't really any non public school students there'; 'everyone's really posh'; 'everyone did 4 A levels and got A* in them all'.
Of course there will be isolated incidents of poor pastoral support - it would be unrealistic to suggest otherwise. But to have a blanket 'Oxford has terrible pastoral support' is not a valid claim. In fact, due to the college system, it's reasonable to suggest that Oxford would have better pastoral support than a larger, more 'faceless' university.
Sorry to labour the point, but I think it's important to shine a light on these passing, unverified claims about Oxbridge which so often get posted without being challenged or criticised. They have enough of a problem attracting the best students from all backgrounds without these sort of sweeping claims putting yet more students off applying.
I'm the first one to quibble with largely unfounded claims that may put off applicants who may be less inclined to apply but I actually repped and really liked that post because I think there's quite a bit of truth in it. There are too many cases of pastoral support at Oxford being poor (even in my limited knowledge of that matter) for me to personally be able to label them "isolated incidents" 
I don't say that lightly either! Since pastoral support at Oxford is not the main focus of this thread though, I will state that I disagree with you completely but will agree to disagree on this matter and leave it at that (in this thread at least)
1
reply
Report
#18
(Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
Since pastoral support at Oxford is not the main focus of this thread though, I will state that I disagree with you completely but will agree to disagree on this matter and leave it at that (in this thread at least)
Since pastoral support at Oxford is not the main focus of this thread though, I will state that I disagree with you completely but will agree to disagree on this matter and leave it at that (in this thread at least)
0
reply
Report
#19
So I do understanding your point of view, even if I disagree
1
reply
X
Quick Reply
