Considering dropping out of Medical School (first year)

Hi all,

I'm a first year medic and I'm really struggling. I have my first exam in a few days, and I've done next to no work for it - I'm guaranteed to fail. I've been speaking to my personal tutor and head of year, as well as the university counsellor throughout the year and they've proposed that I may have undiagnosed inattentive type ADHD, which would explain my inability to focus on anything and everything. I stopped going to lectures during second term as I found it so impossible to sit through even 10/15 minutes without zoning out. I won't go into the details of why they think I may have it in this post, as it'll just make it unnecessairly long.

Before anybody starts saying that I'm "just lazy" - I have spent HOURS, each day in the library desperately trying to stay focused enough to get a solid amount of work done. I've pulled all nighters, so many of them this easter, but that only helped make my concentration even worse than it was before. I get antsy when I'm sat revising for too long, so I constantly have to get up to go on walks which just wastes time.

Unfortunately, as much as everybody has tried to help me, the reality is that it's less than a week until my first exam and I've got about 3/4 of the years work still to do, which is impossible. I feel like such a failure, I just can't stop thinking about how disappointed my mum will be when she finds out I failed - she had such high hopes for me. I tried talking to her about the ADHD thing but she had no sympathy and thought it was just me making excuses for my laziness - and what if she's right? What if I'm genuinely just extremely lazy? I'm seriously considering just dropping out now, first thing on Monday morning. I'm so far behind and I'm constantly miserable about how much of a **** up I've become.

So yeah, what do you guys think? Maybe medical school is not for me, I'm clearly too stupid for it

Reply 1

black1blade

How did you get into med school in the first place if you can't concentrate and do well in exams?

Reply 2

strugglingmedic

Original post by black1blade

How did you get into med school in the first place if you can't concentrate and do well in exams?

University is so different to secondary school. I don't think the independence of university helped me at all.
I work really well when I'm under pressure, like the night before an exam is my preferred time to start revision. My sixth form was such a high pressured environment with regular tests each week that you had to pass. Having such regular tests throughout sixth form meant that I was constantly cramming the night before each of these tests so by the time exam season came around at the end of the year, I was decently familiar with each of the topics and could get by with as little work as I have been doing for my university exams.

Furthermore, A-Levels weren't that difficult for me - not to sound cocky. I had excellent teachers and could grasp the material decently well, and if I didn't then we had regular lessons in which concepts would be repeated.

University, on the other hand, is a nightmare. Your learning is extremely self-directed, it's pretty much completely up to you what you do and you don't do. There were no more regular tests, which meant no more last minute cramming, which meant no more work. Getting help from lecturers was rare, since there are so many of us. But I think the main thing is the sheer VOLUME of information you have to take in during medical school. The entirety of my biology A-level was covered during one of our 15+ modules.

So essentially, being independent at university is the main problem. So far I'd managed to get through on "natural intelligence" and a moderate amount of work, but at university that's no longer doable and furthermore everybody is ridiculously intelligent

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 3

suzywithaZY

Stay strong OP, you've got this far - not worth dropping out now! Cram like mad for these exams

Reply 4

Parent_help

Original post by strugglingmedic

So far I'd managed to get through on "natural intelligence" and a moderate amount of work

You are what you do today, not what you did.

Reply 5

strugglingmedic

Original post by Parent_help

You are what you do today, not what you did.

So does that mean you reckon 2 days is enough time to cram it all in?

Reply 6

*pitseleh*

Some of what you say sounds just like me back in first year. I didn't have ADHD (undiagnosed or otherwise) though; was something else with me.

If you are anything like me, the reason you want to quit first thing on Monday morning is because it's easier for you to say you jumped than that you were pushed. It's preferable to say you chose to drop out (with the implicit suggestion that you could have passed if you'd sat the exams) than it would be to say you tried to sit the exams and failed them. And I completely get that.

But... if you're thinking about dropping out anyway (and I imagine you might feel different if you sit the thing and pass), you might as well sit the exam. Best case scenario: you pass anyway, despite the last-minute revision (I obviously don't know you, but this outcome is entirely possible). Worst case scenario: you don't pass. And hopefully that won't happen, but if it does, maybe it'll give you a bit of clarification over what you actually want (i.e. whether you care enough about Medicine to resit, or whether you're relived to have a proper reason to quit). But yeah - you've got this far. It's always unpleasant going into an exam feeling underprepared, but you may as well sit it now you're here. Good luck with it. :smile: