A level english language paper 1 question 1 - please mark asap!!!!

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ReusCrispies
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HI, i'm in the middle of revision and just wanted a rough estimate on what mark I would receive out of 25 for this question. I spent around 35 mins working on this. Is that too much. Would like help asap, so I can instil advice into my learning thanks
Analyse how TEXT A uses language to create meanings and representations.
25 marks
The purpose of the article seems to question the atrocities taking place in Britain, albeit through the expense of the current society. In addition, the article serves its purpose to highlight and send a subtle warning towards how ungrateful individuals in the UK are and how it seemingly differs from life around 30 years ago, whilst educating the audience on what could potentially devise if society continues to live in its uncultured ways. The article itself seems to revolve around an audience of teenagers, specifically male simply because of the chosen lexis which is installed within the text.
Initially, we are accustomed to an interrogative which questions how Britain has become pessimistic place to live in peace and liberation. “How did Britain get so rude?” Immediately, there’s an idea that Britain is represented as delinquent because the adjective “rude” attains negative connotations of disrespectful and careless, implying that Britain is not a place to resort to for any occasion. The fact that the phrase was announced by a “leading manners expert” suggests that there is a surreal problem in the country. The superlative “expert” has connotations of abundance of knowledge (and therefore) in regard to the welfare of Britain through the use of the verb “bemoan”, suggesting that the expert is concerned and angered by society. Perhaps, the verb “bemoan” was necessary in this instance because it depicts the negativity surrounded around Britain. Furthermore, the adjective “intolerable “represents Britain as unsettling, suggesting it’s not the best of places to live. The fact that the pronoun “us” is being used shows and represents society as suffering because of the “irresponsibility attitudes” of louts, causing everyone to feel this suffering.
Whilst mentioning the nightmare procedures of entering the train, the dynamic verb “barge” is used to highlight how the majority of individuals hustle for a spot on it. The dynamic verb “barge” has connotations of aggressiveness and represents how eager people are on getting onto the train, possibly because they are unwilling OF entertaining the idea of waiting for the next available one especially on a “Monday morning”
The article includes graphology to give readers a visual representation of the attitude’s “youths” are advocating in Britain. The picture highlights ex priminister David Cameron, who at the time was a popular and “important” figurehead. Here, he is being ridiculed by a youth member through unapologetic gestures. The photo further represents society as ignorant and fairly uneducated. It reiterates the “rude(ness)” of Britain and how the country has seemingly failed however, this is subverted through the second picture, which seemed to have been taken some years ago, where a classroom of students can be seen respecting the teacher and being polite. It represents the previous generation as well nurtured in comparison to the current – Hard to please.
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ReusCrispies
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Any help would be great!
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ReusCrispies
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yep i'm impatient
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Tolgash
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I've already spotted something off. You need more AO1 precision (e.g. the qualitative adjective 'rude'). You also need AO1 accuracy (e.g. the word 'expert' is not a superlative of any kind).

I'll continue reading. DM me as I'm in a similar state hava.
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ReusCrispies
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(Original post by Tolgarda)
I've already spotted something off. You need more AO1 precision (e.g. the qualitative adjective 'rude'). You also need AO1 accuracy, and the word 'expert' is not a superlative of any kind.

I'll continue reading. DM me as I'm in a similar state hava.
Thanks for the advice. At least i'm not alone haha
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ReusCrispies
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(Original post by Tolgarda)
I've already spotted something off. You need more AO1 precision (e.g. the qualitative adjective 'rude'). You also need AO1 accuracy (e.g. the word 'expert' is not a superlative of any kind).

I'll continue reading. DM me as I'm in a similar state hava.
Any chance you could give me a mark?
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Davy611
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I'd be looking at level 3 here: 5 + 8 perhaps. You label features with more accuracy than inaccuracy and interpret the significance of specific choices of language according to context.

I think some of your comments are a bit general and I think you could probably be a bit more assertive. I haven't read the source text but here's how I'd improve the first half of your response:

The article challenges the atrocities taking place in modern Britain, to the detriment of our society. The article conveys a subtle illustration of how ungrateful certain individuals in the UK are and how this attitude differs from that held by the majority of people in the mid to late twentieth century (which is a cliche). There's a strong warning about how if society continues to deteriorate then our culture and identity is at risk of disintegration. The article targets teenagers; this is clear from the strident lexis and provocative syntax.

Initially, we as readers respond to the interrogative. This questions how Britain has become a hostile place to live in peace and with all civil liberties: “How did Britain get so rude?” Immediately, there’s an idea that Britain is represented as delinquent because the adjective “rude” contains negative connotations of disrespect and carelessness, implying that Britain is not a place of stability and dignity. This provocative phrase was delivered by a “leading manners expert” and this helps to emphasise that there is a real problem in this country. The superlative “expert” has connotations of an abundance of knowledge in regard to the welfare of Britain and the use of the verb “bemoan” suggests that the expert is concerned and angered by society. Perhaps the verb “bemoan” is illustrative in this instance because it demonstrates the negativity implicit in all areas of Britain. Furthermore, the adjective “intolerable" represents Britain as unsettling, dangerous and unpleasant. The fact that the pronoun “us” is used shows and represents all areas of society as suffering because of the “irresponsible" attitudes” of louts. Everyone suffers. Perhaps the older generation have become cynical and beaten down by society? The attitude of the writer and the expert supports this view. Reading between the lines, the article challenges younger readers to refuse to join them and to be prepared to forge a more positive future.
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Tolgash
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(Original post by ReusCrispies)
Any chance you could give me a mark?
Sorry, I can't. I'm nowhere near confident enough with this myself.
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ReusCrispies
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(Original post by Tolgarda)
Sorry, I can't. I'm nowhere near confident enough with thus myself.
No problem!!
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ReusCrispies
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Anyone else able to help??
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please>:cool:
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Davy611
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Your comments on the picture seem fairly sensible. Calling it 'graphology' is overkill surely? It's 'Prime Minister' but you know that. The opinion you offer to conclude is effective. For reference, when you use 'however' as a transitional phrase it's smoother to use a semi colon before and a comma after:

It reiterates the “rude(ness)” of Britain and how the country has seemingly failed; however, this is subverted through the second picture, which seems to have been taken some years ago, where a classroom of students can be seen respecting the teacher and being polite.
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ReusCrispies
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(Original post by Davy611)
Your comments on the picture seem fairly sensible. Calling it 'graphology' is overkill surely? It's 'Prime Minister' but you know that. The opinion you offer to conclude is effective. For reference, when you use 'however' as a transitional phrase it's smoother to use a semi colon before and a comma after:

It reiterates the “rude(ness)” of Britain and how the country has seemingly failed; however, this is subverted through the second picture, which seems to have been taken some years ago, where a classroom of students can be seen respecting the teacher and being polite.
Thanks for the advice! Also, if an examiner was to mark this, what do you think it would score. I'm trying to aim for a B and want to consistently get this in Year 13.
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Davy611
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(Original post by ReusCrispies)
Thanks for the advice! Also, if an examiner was to mark this, what do you think it would score. I'm trying to aim for a B and want to consistently get this in Year 13.
I'm a teacher and an examiner. I've suggested Band 3 (above).
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ReusCrispies
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(Original post by Davy611)
I'm a teacher and an examiner. I've suggested Band 3 (above).
Thank you
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