Is anyone able to mark my AQA GCSE essay on a Christmas carol?

Hi so I have a problem my school is a bit **** ngl and we haven’t had a qualified English teacher since September 2022. I was previously achieving grades 6s and 7s but I recently received an essay back and got 16/30 which is a grade 4 and now my target has dropped to a 6 when I was previously achieving 6s and 7s I’m a bit shocked as why this has happened and because I don’t have an actual English teacher I’m a bit lost. If anyone is able to mark it and give me some feedback I was greatly appreciate it as I would like to get an answer back from anyone but that one teacher. The question was a AQA English literature paper 1 30 mark question on a Christmas carol.

Question: dickens presentation of ebenezer Scrooge makes him an unsympathetic character.

Throughout the full novella dickens utilises Scrooge in order to illustrate how self-centred and unsympathetic Scrooge is. At first he could possibly be the rudest and most horrible man to have ever walked the planet. But is shown later in the novel even people with the most negative personalitys can flourish into a wonderful person. This is done to share the Victorian audience that they need to seek redemption and help people.

In the extract, Scrooge is presented as a cold-hearted miser. You can see this in the “oh! but he was a tight-fisted hand at the grindstone, Scrooge! A squeezing, wrenching, grasping, scraping, clutching , covetous old sinner!” The verbs used are all linked by the hand, this shows how tightly held onto things, which could be his money which refused to give away to the charity man showing once again that he is in a sympathetic character. The negative verbs all have a pessimistic view and lack of kindness like Scrooge. In addition, the overuse of exclamation marks could give us a greater inside at the disgust of him.

Towards the middle of the novel scrooge is starting to transform as he realises what he was doing before was wrong. You can see this when the ghost says “are there no prisons?” “ are there no workhouses?” The ghost of his Christmas present remind Scrooge of his sympathetic words which flipped the switch in Scrooge. Dickens is now showing us Scrooge has begun to change and is ashamed of having said it.

At the end of the novel scrooge has changed into a philanthropic and sympathetic person this is shown in the quote “I am as light as a feather, I am as happy as an angel, I am as quiet as a baby” This shows Scrooge has completely changed his view and how sympathetic he is by using a simile. There is a real contrast between heavy, large and unsympathetic language used in the first stave versus the light, slim and sympathetic language used in the last stave, this contrast almost frees the reader for feeling trapped in a doom and gloom.

In conclusion Scrooges unsympatheticness shows how greedy he used to be and shows how pessimistic he was. It shows how unsympathetic he was to the people in the horrible workhouse conditions and refused to help them.

Thank you so much for taking the time do read this.

thank you so much this really helps me

Hi so I have a problem my school is a bit **** ngl and we haven’t had a qualified English teacher since September 2022. I was previously achieving grades 6s and 7s but I recently received an essay back and got 16/30 which is a grade 4 and now my target has dropped to a 6 when I was previously achieving 6s and 7s I’m a bit shocked as why this has happened and because I don’t have an actual English teacher I’m a bit lost. If anyone is able to mark it and give me some feedback I was greatly appreciate it as I would like to get an answer back from anyone but that one teacher. The question was a AQA English literature paper 1 30 mark question on a Christmas carol.
Question: dickens presentation of ebenezer Scrooge makes him an unsympathetic character.
Throughout the full novella dickens utilises Scrooge in order to illustrate how self-centred and unsympathetic Scrooge is. At first he could possibly be the rudest and most horrible man to have ever walked the planet. But is shown later in the novel even people with the most negative personalitys can flourish into a wonderful person. This is done to share the Victorian audience that they need to seek redemption and help people.
In the extract, Scrooge is presented as a cold-hearted miser. You can see this in the “oh! but he was a tight-fisted hand at the grindstone, Scrooge! A squeezing, wrenching, grasping, scraping, clutching , covetous old sinner!” The verbs used are all linked by the hand, this shows how tightly held onto things, which could be his money which refused to give away to the charity man showing once again that he is in a sympathetic character. The negative verbs all have a pessimistic view and lack of kindness like Scrooge. In addition, the overuse of exclamation marks could give us a greater inside at the disgust of him.
Towards the middle of the novel scrooge is starting to transform as he realises what he was doing before was wrong. You can see this when the ghost says “are there no prisons?” “ are there no workhouses?” The ghost of his Christmas present remind Scrooge of his sympathetic words which flipped the switch in Scrooge. Dickens is now showing us Scrooge has begun to change and is ashamed of having said it.
At the end of the novel scrooge has changed into a philanthropic and sympathetic person this is shown in the quote “I am as light as a feather, I am as happy as an angel, I am as quiet as a baby” This shows Scrooge has completely changed his view and how sympathetic he is by using a simile. There is a real contrast between heavy, large and unsympathetic language used in the first stave versus the light, slim and sympathetic language used in the last stave, this contrast almost frees the reader for feeling trapped in a doom and gloom.
In conclusion Scrooges unsympatheticness shows how greedy he used to be and shows how pessimistic he was. It shows how unsympathetic he was to the people in the horrible workhouse conditions and refused to help them.
Thank you so much for taking the time do read this.