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What are the PEOPLE who go to private schools like, versus state schools?
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Original post by Red one
All important life lessons that the ol' state school can teach I'm sure, what with the rampant violence and underage pregnancies. 
I'm not sure whether to laugh or take that statement seriously, did you read your post through?
Should I continue talking with you or are you another crazed stalker?
I'm not sure whether to laugh or take that statement seriously, did you read your post through?Should I continue talking with you or are you another crazed stalker?
And the naivety continues... you epitomise all of the stereotypes related to private schooling. Well done for confirming my prejudices.
Good evening. PM me when you enter the real world.
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Original post by AspiringMedic8
I am passionate about my studies and academics, I have high career and educational aspirations, I don't do many sports but I'm willing to learn and to do things like rowing, swimming and cricket, I'm gay and I live in a single parent council house. How would I be accepted?! 
What people often don't realise is there's a massive upwards tail of private schools - from those that are only a little different from a good comprehensive / grammar to public schools like Eton that are as distant to us as they are to you. I'm not sure which you are going to, but the following is based on my own experience (state primary school, years 7-13 at a normal private girls' school on a scholarship).
I suspect that unless you're incredibly unlucky you'll have very few problems being accepted. Private school kids (as a generalisation) are pretty secure with their own wealth, slightly naïve about social interaction (they don't need to grow up so fast - this can also manifest itself in other, less positive, childish ways, but on the whole no more than any school), and a bit curious about the outside world, so if you're friendly to them they'll be friendly to you.
The main problems you may find will probably be unintentional. Namely, people having more money to spend on social activities, and people being naïve about other peoples' financial situations. If the first happens, just be honest with them - if they're decent people they'll understand, but if you don't go out and don't explain why they may think you're being antisocial. With the second, most are pretty educated, but not having exposure to anyone poorer than them means it's not uncommon for a minority of private school students to come out with comments like 'I didn't know council estates existed in real life'. Just remember they probably don't mean it badly - they just don't know.
If you do meet any vindictive snobbery, shrug it off. If it's bullying, tell a teacher, but if it's an offhand comment, either ignore it or respond as you normally would. Whatever you do, don't assume snobbery that isn't there, or respond with inverse snobbery, as if other people overhear it they might be put off befriending you. I only say this because people from private schools get quite a lot of inverse snobbery and whether it's justified or not tend to have no time for it.
With that slightly odd point out of the way, you should be fine. I won't lie, you may well meet some absolute ****s, but they aren't that common, and state schools have equivalently nasty people anyway. Have fun, enjoy the academic atmosphere, and find some decent friends - the truth is that most of them probably don't care a bit about your background, except for curiosity, and if it doesn't matter to you it won't matter to them.
Original post by Octohedral
What people often don't realise is there's a massive upwards tail of private schools - from those that are only a little different from a good comprehensive / grammar to public schools like Eton that are as distant to us as they are to you. I'm not sure which you are going to, but the following is based on my own experience (state primary school, years 7-13 at a normal private girls' school on a scholarship).
I suspect that unless you're incredibly unlucky you'll have very few problems being accepted. Private school kids (as a generalisation) are pretty secure with their own wealth, slightly naïve about social interaction (they don't need to grow up so fast - this can also manifest itself in other, less positive, childish ways, but on the whole no more than any school), and a bit curious about the outside world, so if you're friendly to them they'll be friendly to you.
The main problems you may find will probably be unintentional. Namely, people having more money to spend on social activities, and people being naïve about other peoples' financial situations. If the first happens, just be honest with them - if they're decent people they'll understand, but if you don't go out and don't explain why they may think you're being antisocial. With the second, most are pretty educated, but not having exposure to anyone poorer than them means it's not uncommon for a minority of private school students to come out with comments like 'I didn't know council estates existed in real life'. Just remember they probably don't mean it badly - they just don't know.
If you do meet any vindictive snobbery, shrug it off. If it's bullying, tell a teacher, but if it's an offhand comment, either ignore it or respond as you normally would. Whatever you do, don't assume snobbery that isn't there, or respond with inverse snobbery, as if other people overhear it they might be put off befriending you. I only say this because people from private schools get quite a lot of inverse snobbery and whether it's justified or not tend to have no time for it.
With that slightly odd point out of the way, you should be fine. I won't lie, you may well meet some absolute ****s, but they aren't that common, and state schools have equivalently nasty people anyway. Have fun, enjoy the academic atmosphere, and find some decent friends - the truth is that most of them probably don't care a bit about your background, except for curiosity, and if it doesn't matter to you it won't matter to them.
I suspect that unless you're incredibly unlucky you'll have very few problems being accepted. Private school kids (as a generalisation) are pretty secure with their own wealth, slightly naïve about social interaction (they don't need to grow up so fast - this can also manifest itself in other, less positive, childish ways, but on the whole no more than any school), and a bit curious about the outside world, so if you're friendly to them they'll be friendly to you.
The main problems you may find will probably be unintentional. Namely, people having more money to spend on social activities, and people being naïve about other peoples' financial situations. If the first happens, just be honest with them - if they're decent people they'll understand, but if you don't go out and don't explain why they may think you're being antisocial. With the second, most are pretty educated, but not having exposure to anyone poorer than them means it's not uncommon for a minority of private school students to come out with comments like 'I didn't know council estates existed in real life'. Just remember they probably don't mean it badly - they just don't know.
If you do meet any vindictive snobbery, shrug it off. If it's bullying, tell a teacher, but if it's an offhand comment, either ignore it or respond as you normally would. Whatever you do, don't assume snobbery that isn't there, or respond with inverse snobbery, as if other people overhear it they might be put off befriending you. I only say this because people from private schools get quite a lot of inverse snobbery and whether it's justified or not tend to have no time for it.
With that slightly odd point out of the way, you should be fine. I won't lie, you may well meet some absolute ****s, but they aren't that common, and state schools have equivalently nasty people anyway. Have fun, enjoy the academic atmosphere, and find some decent friends - the truth is that most of them probably don't care a bit about your background, except for curiosity, and if it doesn't matter to you it won't matter to them.
I'm going to the "normal" type!
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(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by AspiringMedic8
I'm going to the "normal" type!
Would you say people would be hesitant to have gay friends?
Would you say people would be hesitant to have gay friends?
Definitely not a problem at my school. You may want answers from someone else if your school is all boys', but if it's mixed (or all girls'
) you should be fine!My experience was that roughly 75% of the people at the private school I went to were ****faces of varying degrees. Since coming to uni, I've noticed that a far higher proportion of the state schooled undergrads I've interacted with have been noticeably more open-minded, less cliquey, more generous, and generally more likeable, and I'm sharing a house next year with four previously state students (one spent sixth form at private but defies the mould). I don't think this has a lot to do with the uni spirit because I've also interacted with a few private schooled students since coming here and they have conformed to my previous experiences.
I would be hesitant about assuming that this goes for all private schools since, without being uppity, mine was an Eton Group full of very rich kiddies with egos the size of small moons constantly surrounded by big imposing buildings. Inevitably, if they don't start out as I did in Croydon, many of them will turn into intolerable gits.
I would be hesitant about assuming that this goes for all private schools since, without being uppity, mine was an Eton Group full of very rich kiddies with egos the size of small moons constantly surrounded by big imposing buildings. Inevitably, if they don't start out as I did in Croydon, many of them will turn into intolerable gits.
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by AspiringMedic8
I get what you mean. Although if I find the confidence to come out initially then it might not be as much of an issue. What do you think?
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i think if you did it it would be very brave, but if your comfortable with it go for it. so long as your friends will understand, you'll be happier being yourself, and would probably help a few peeps out of their misery as you probably arent alone
good luck
Original post by paradoxicalme
I think it depends on the school. Mine's pretty liberal (maybe to do with it being all girls?) so coming out here felt far less scary than I think it would've in the nearby state. I dated someone from said state school, and the one time the topic came up he would basically be passive-aggressive and try to make me be ashamed of it ('my friends will make fun of me', 'please don't tell anyone, they'll give me **** about it'). I've never gotten anything like that here.
all girls being a less scary place :O
you must go to a nice school given most all girls schools can be ever so bitchy
Original post by Red one
I go to a private school and I have to say we don't hold a very high opinion of state school kids who are generally animals/chavs etc. Don't get me wrong some state schools are decent but on the whole the people there are just unpleasant.
Probably because you call them animals.
Original post by Red one
Is that meant to prove something? I already acknowledged that my statement didn't apply to every school out there but on the whole you'd be an idiot to disagree with my claims.
The naive thing is a misconception. If anything we know more about the value of money, there are no free school dinners, uniforms/trips or free this or free that. Many of my friends have jobs even.
The naive thing is a misconception. If anything we know more about the value of money, there are no free school dinners, uniforms/trips or free this or free that. Many of my friends have jobs even.
Why would someone be an idiot to disagree with your claims?
Coming from someone who has gone to 2 state schools and pretty much everyone I have ever known before uni has been state educated, I think I'm in a position to disagree and say that the claim of 'most people who go there are unpleasant' is complete bull**** frankly.
And most people who go to state school don't get free school dinners, uniforms or trips either.
That kind of thing is reserved for the families who are really struggling - in which case I'm sure they understand the value of money just as much as you and me.
I was state school educated. I hated it. Bullied. All sorts of horrible people went there, bad behaviour, a culture of being cool and being rebellious. My education was so bad that I didn't even know what a private school was until I was about 18 years old. It's that bad. It defines all the stereotypes. And my state school was in a 'Middle Class Area' according to one newspaper. Imagine how bad the ones in the roughest parts must be.
Ideally you'd raise these schools up. But it's easier said than done. I always preferred the idea of the best teachers going to the worst schools, rather than the other way around. But it's a difficult concept, if I was a top teacher, I'd want to be at Harrow or somewhere, not a rough state.
Doesn't seem fair people can just pay to get a better education, in principle I'm against private schools. I'd have no problem bringing down the wealthy to ensure they get the education I got. But I do accept the political realities of private institutions and would not look to close any if I was in government. I always saw those from private schools as smarmy posh boys who don't even know they are born. It can be hard not to be bitter/jealous, they are simply human emotions. You don't want to miss out on an Eton education when you see others getting in.
They were always my views, but I suppose when you get a bit older you realise it doesn't really matter anymore. You move on from negative thoughts. You start attending the same institutions as the people you once thought of as 'smarmy posh boys'. At my UK university include a kid who's Dad is the top man at a Big Four accountancy firm, a kid whose Dad is in the Cabinet, a kid from an Aristocratic Family, a kid who's dad is the head of the army and foreign students who have Dads in EU governments. You realise most of them are pretty normal people. And if not, you've got to the same institution as them, so who cares!
My opposition has weakened. The only opinion I maintain is that a few of the private boys, you still sense even by the end of first year that they haven't lost that sense of status they have. The people that want to do Law because it's prestigious and they can start with a Tom Ford suit rolling out of Slaughter & May with a 60k salary rather than because they enjoy it. They don't understand that they will arrive at these companies and will be asked to make tea and do some photocopying for a man who went to a state school and a 'mid card' uni, and that's the key point. Largely when you get to work your school is irrelevant, and after you get the job, the same with the uni.
You meet people who said State School ruined there life, and that they were bullied to hell, so there parents moved them to Private School. It becomes difficult to justify a belief that denies them that way out. Equally it's hard to know that for others, that option just isn't available.
A stream of consciousness there. Just judge people on how they are today really. I can't say I wouldn't consider sending my kids to private if I could afford it in the future, so I probably wouldn't criticise private schools from now on.
Ideally you'd raise these schools up. But it's easier said than done. I always preferred the idea of the best teachers going to the worst schools, rather than the other way around. But it's a difficult concept, if I was a top teacher, I'd want to be at Harrow or somewhere, not a rough state.
Doesn't seem fair people can just pay to get a better education, in principle I'm against private schools. I'd have no problem bringing down the wealthy to ensure they get the education I got. But I do accept the political realities of private institutions and would not look to close any if I was in government. I always saw those from private schools as smarmy posh boys who don't even know they are born. It can be hard not to be bitter/jealous, they are simply human emotions. You don't want to miss out on an Eton education when you see others getting in.
They were always my views, but I suppose when you get a bit older you realise it doesn't really matter anymore. You move on from negative thoughts. You start attending the same institutions as the people you once thought of as 'smarmy posh boys'. At my UK university include a kid who's Dad is the top man at a Big Four accountancy firm, a kid whose Dad is in the Cabinet, a kid from an Aristocratic Family, a kid who's dad is the head of the army and foreign students who have Dads in EU governments. You realise most of them are pretty normal people. And if not, you've got to the same institution as them, so who cares!
My opposition has weakened. The only opinion I maintain is that a few of the private boys, you still sense even by the end of first year that they haven't lost that sense of status they have. The people that want to do Law because it's prestigious and they can start with a Tom Ford suit rolling out of Slaughter & May with a 60k salary rather than because they enjoy it. They don't understand that they will arrive at these companies and will be asked to make tea and do some photocopying for a man who went to a state school and a 'mid card' uni, and that's the key point. Largely when you get to work your school is irrelevant, and after you get the job, the same with the uni.
You meet people who said State School ruined there life, and that they were bullied to hell, so there parents moved them to Private School. It becomes difficult to justify a belief that denies them that way out. Equally it's hard to know that for others, that option just isn't available.
A stream of consciousness there. Just judge people on how they are today really. I can't say I wouldn't consider sending my kids to private if I could afford it in the future, so I probably wouldn't criticise private schools from now on.
OP, I go to an all boys private boarding school, have done since aged 13. Message me if you've got any questions or queries.
I can be an utter arse at times, but January is wearing me down and I need something more exciting to do in prep apart from Latin translations, so feel free to talk.
Just to add to general debate, I'd very much agree with the fact that we're often naive- I know nobody who goes to state school, nobody in my family to my knowledge has even set foot in a state school. It perhaps causes rather a lot of alienation between 'private schoolers' and 'state schoolers'- neither party really knows whatsgoing on in the other. University is going to be rather a learning curve for me. When my brother went to uni 3 years ago (from my school), he hung around all of his old friends in the first year, then realised the peasants don't bite and now most of his friends are state educated. He never brings those ones home, probably because of the inverse snobbery that would be directed against my very grand family members and slightly less grand house.
I can be an utter arse at times, but January is wearing me down and I need something more exciting to do in prep apart from Latin translations, so feel free to talk.
Just to add to general debate, I'd very much agree with the fact that we're often naive- I know nobody who goes to state school, nobody in my family to my knowledge has even set foot in a state school. It perhaps causes rather a lot of alienation between 'private schoolers' and 'state schoolers'- neither party really knows whatsgoing on in the other. University is going to be rather a learning curve for me. When my brother went to uni 3 years ago (from my school), he hung around all of his old friends in the first year, then realised the peasants don't bite and now most of his friends are state educated. He never brings those ones home, probably because of the inverse snobbery that would be directed against my very grand family members and slightly less grand house.
Original post by AspiringMedic8
I'm going to the "normal" type!
Would you say people would be hesitant to have gay friends?
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Would you say people would be hesitant to have gay friends?
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You need to clear some space in your inbox, my message won't send to you
Original post by janesy13
How are scholarship boys who join in 6th form welcomed / treated? Are they isolated or excluded from social activities or encouraged to join?
I'd like to know, also
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I went to state all the way through from primary to VI form.
As I went to the best state VI form in the UK, I met a fair few private school people, one of whom is one of my best friends. I didn't really meet anyone who had that aura of entitlement the secondary would have had me believe was there. People who went to the top private (ranked below the state ETA: in Cambs, not the country) could be really snobby, but I like to that that was more due to them not getting the grades for my VI form as opposed to being that much of a snob.
Prior to attending VI form, I went to what is now an academy run by a highly self-important headmistress and an array of pupils. Considering it's rated outstanding, the intake was quite diverse and, consequentially perhaps, I did endure 5 years of bullying, which still affects me now. The 'village' in which I reside is being taken over by what is, essentially, a new town of rather shoddy council housing. Being from a comparatively wealthy family with horses and everything material I really wanted, I was, naturally, vilified by a lot of people, not all of whom came from low income or benefit income backgrounds. I did become fond of people from those backgrounds, but it's not enough to stop my years of secondary being remembered as anything other than a living hell. However, I went to Pony Club during these years and met the single most bigoted group of people I have ever had the misfortune to come across in my life (they actually used the word 'socialist' as an insult without having the slightest indication as to what it meant). I also met some lovely people willing to learn about the world outside what they knew, both at state and at poncy club, so it wasn't all bad.
Tl;dr? My point is that you will come across utter prickwads wherever you go, regardless of their socio-economic background. You will also meet absolute heroes from all walks of life. I think you know good people when you see them and you'll see them when you open your mind (that sounds so deep).
In the end, it doesn't matter where you go to school, it only matters that you're willing to open your mind to other people and concepts.
If you read through the entirety of that, you may be interested to know that I just made some cakes
As I went to the best state VI form in the UK, I met a fair few private school people, one of whom is one of my best friends. I didn't really meet anyone who had that aura of entitlement the secondary would have had me believe was there. People who went to the top private (ranked below the state ETA: in Cambs, not the country) could be really snobby, but I like to that that was more due to them not getting the grades for my VI form as opposed to being that much of a snob.
Prior to attending VI form, I went to what is now an academy run by a highly self-important headmistress and an array of pupils. Considering it's rated outstanding, the intake was quite diverse and, consequentially perhaps, I did endure 5 years of bullying, which still affects me now. The 'village' in which I reside is being taken over by what is, essentially, a new town of rather shoddy council housing. Being from a comparatively wealthy family with horses and everything material I really wanted, I was, naturally, vilified by a lot of people, not all of whom came from low income or benefit income backgrounds. I did become fond of people from those backgrounds, but it's not enough to stop my years of secondary being remembered as anything other than a living hell. However, I went to Pony Club during these years and met the single most bigoted group of people I have ever had the misfortune to come across in my life (they actually used the word 'socialist' as an insult without having the slightest indication as to what it meant). I also met some lovely people willing to learn about the world outside what they knew, both at state and at poncy club, so it wasn't all bad.
Tl;dr? My point is that you will come across utter prickwads wherever you go, regardless of their socio-economic background. You will also meet absolute heroes from all walks of life. I think you know good people when you see them and you'll see them when you open your mind (that sounds so deep).
In the end, it doesn't matter where you go to school, it only matters that you're willing to open your mind to other people and concepts.
If you read through the entirety of that, you may be interested to know that I just made some cakes
(edited 10 years ago)
the worst ones are like something from made in chelsea and the decent/nice ones are like something from mary poppins. theyre taught to be easy-going but deep down tend to harbour feelings of superiority; they have the same aura as very good-looking people
(edited 10 years ago)
I cant speak for all but my cousins and siblings are nice people. Although they can be a bit snobby.
Would like to think I am no different from anyone who went to a state school!
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