I know its not justified, hitting the one who gave you life is morally wrong, im aware. I snapped, i honestly did. I have been bullied my whole life, and my own mother said " why do you think you get bullied? No one wants you" and " why do you think you dont have a boyfriend? Even with makeup on your still worthless". At that point, i lost it, 10 minuets before that, she had pushed me, and slapped me across the face. My mum has beaten me up multiple times ( she has anger issues ) and takes it out on me. Im moving school, because i was being bullied in my last one, she said because i didn't clean her room, or the kitchen she was going to cancel the application for my new school, as soon as she said that, i looked at her for a few seconds, and left the room, i was hurt by the fact she would even consider that. She followed me out, then hit me, and tried to smash up the things in my bedroom. I pushed her out and stood against the door to stop her from destroying everything ( i paint and she wanted to destroy my sets) then she said shes calling the school to cancel the application, i followed her out and told her to stop, she proceeded to insult me. I tried to
Take my own life earlier on last year, and also suffer from bulimia, she mocked me, and told me I couldn't even get killing myself right and laughed, she then said i should eat less cause im fat. At that point, i ripped down the blinds and smashed a plate ( i was trying so hard not to take out my anger on my mum) but then, she said ( laughing ) your crazy, no one wants u, and everyone will see you for the dirt you are) at that point, i pulled her hair and hit her, while this was happening she was laughing and calling me weak. I called her a cruel **** and walked away (in tears ) i stayed in my room, when my dad came back, she told him " Helen just beat me up, all because i told her to clean the kitchen" now my entire family refuse to talk to me, im ashamed, but, its been 14 years of torture, emotionally, several beatings i have received from her, it all came out, but at the end of it, i still love her, and i wish i didn't so much.
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