The Student Room Group

16 year old, strict and unreasonable parents.

I made a mistake a few months ago, I bought some snus online, When my parents found out and questioned me, I handed the snus into them. I later destroyed and binned any snus I had left and quit. They have since continued to punish me and question me, They are punishing me saying the punishments will continue untill I hand the rest of the snus into them, however I dont have any. They are always shouting at me and saying how my existence is an inconvenience and every time I see them They always shout at me and make fun of me. At the moment I am a few months away from my GCSE's and my parents are very controlling. I get good grades and my mock results were mainly 7's and 8's with 2 6's. I have no phone, and I got to bed with no laptop at 10 o clock. They have taken my phone and removed the phone contract, even though the phone was a gift to me and I am more than happy to pay for the contract myself. They have taken all my passwords and online banking under control and I am not allowed to have a card or cash. I cannot see any friends and I live in the middle of the countryside with no neighbours. I feel isolated and alone at the moment. and I have no access to money or any privacy. They have cancelled my tractor driving test and will not even let me go on a bike ride. They continue to punish me even more, for example, my brother wanted to go and see a car for sale which was a 2 hour drive away from us. I told my parents the day before that I did not want to come and view the car because it was the easter holidays and i didnt feel like spending hours on the road for a car i'm not looking at. They said this was fine a day ago, but literally minutes before we had to set off, they started demanding that I go with them, I told them that they had told me it was fine yesterday, and I stood my ground and refused to go. Since then I have only exchanged a few words with them and they are constantly trying to shout at me. I feel like im isolated, and can't even message my friends. Any advice?
I don’t really know your circumstances although you’ve explained a lot but I’d say to stand your ground more often. This is YOUR life they CANT control it, Try and do what makes you happy with your limitations. When this happened to me i really enjoyed baking and would spend most my days on the couch (next to my mums bed because i wasn’t even allowed in my own room) watching TV but i really understand how you feel but trust me this will end. Try take control of your life no matter how. Challenge them but if that’s not possible don’t. It might take a while but i promise this’ll end. Always here for you.
Reply 2
It's just that I'm in the middle of nowhere in the countryside and I have no access to my money or the stuff I bought with my money, which I earned from my job. I just feel like they actually hate me, they are always shouting about how I should move out and live somehwere else.
Original post by Anonymous #1
It's just that I'm in the middle of nowhere in the countryside and I have no access to my money or the stuff I bought with my money, which I earned from my job. I just feel like they actually hate me, they are always shouting about how I should move out and live somehwere else.


For your own mental health you should. But obviously at a time when you’re able to, study hard get your alevels and dip. You mentioned you had a job dyu still have it now? also can’t you tell school about your circumstances because it’s honestly really bad at home and you just need to vent ykwim it’s really not healthy on you. have you got any siblings?
Reply 4
yes, they are part of the problem, they keep telling my mother that I am still buying snus and making up lies about how I am treating them badly
Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous #1
yes, they are part of the problem, they keep telling my mother that I am still buying snus and making up lies about how I am treating them badly

my brothers are part of the porblem
I’m really sorry it’s all like that, people don’t understand the concept of mistakes like obviously you’re regretting it now i don’t see why you should be punished for ages it’s so freaking unreasonable. People like that should have no authority
Reply 7
you might as well start getting your bread up and prove what you can do without them. I know you feel manipulated and that is because they are still in control of you. So start getting your bread up and cut when you are 18 maybe or when you feel capable. You can dm for some clean hacks to get your money up. You don't have to but you can if you want to
Original post by Anonymous
I made a mistake a few months ago, I bought some snus online, When my parents found out and questioned me, I handed the snus into them. I later destroyed and binned any snus I had left and quit. They have since continued to punish me and question me, They are punishing me saying the punishments will continue untill I hand the rest of the snus into them, however I dont have any. They are always shouting at me and saying how my existence is an inconvenience and every time I see them They always shout at me and make fun of me. At the moment I am a few months away from my GCSE's and my parents are very controlling. I get good grades and my mock results were mainly 7's and 8's with 2 6's. I have no phone, and I got to bed with no laptop at 10 o clock. They have taken my phone and removed the phone contract, even though the phone was a gift to me and I am more than happy to pay for the contract myself. They have taken all my passwords and online banking under control and I am not allowed to have a card or cash. I cannot see any friends and I live in the middle of the countryside with no neighbours. I feel isolated and alone at the moment. and I have no access to money or any privacy. They have cancelled my tractor driving test and will not even let me go on a bike ride. They continue to punish me even more, for example, my brother wanted to go and see a car for sale which was a 2 hour drive away from us. I told my parents the day before that I did not want to come and view the car because it was the easter holidays and i didnt feel like spending hours on the road for a car i'm not looking at. They said this was fine a day ago, but literally minutes before we had to set off, they started demanding that I go with them, I told them that they had told me it was fine yesterday, and I stood my ground and refused to go. Since then I have only exchanged a few words with them and they are constantly trying to shout at me. I feel like im isolated, and can't even message my friends. Any advice?

hihi, just wondering, how did they use to treat you before this incident of you buying snus and them finding out?
Reply 9
Original post by Anonymous
It's just that I'm in the middle of nowhere in the countryside and I have no access to my money or the stuff I bought with my money, which I earned from my job. I just feel like they actually hate me, they are always shouting about how I should move out and live somehwere else.

Find a good friend you trust. Make sure their parents know too. Unfortunately at 16 they are still your parents, but you could consider filing for emancipation.
Reply 10
Original post by Anonymous
It's just that I'm in the middle of nowhere in the countryside and I have no access to my money or the stuff I bought with my money, which I earned from my job. I just feel like they actually hate me, they are always shouting about how I should move out and live somehwere else.

See if a trusted friend or family member like an aunt or cousin could help you get some cash or a phone or let you crash with them.
what in the world is snus
Original post by Maverick99n
what in the world is snus

i had to search it, it's a form of tobacco, it's like a mini teabag that you put in your inner upper lip apparently
I can’t be the only one that thinks theyre not that bad😭😭im sorry but in Highschool me and my siblings had to hand our devices in at 10 as well?? Obviously them bullying you is not right and your siblings are really annoying but just ignore them when they say **** and focus on your GCSEs. Once you get good grades they’ll start to trust you more and then make sure that you apply to unis far away so you can move out in a peaceful way that’ll literally keep everyone happy
Original post by Arii256
I can’t be the only one that thinks theyre not that bad😭😭im sorry but in Highschool me and my siblings had to hand our devices in at 10 as well?? Obviously them bullying you is not right and your siblings are really annoying but just ignore them when they say **** and focus on your GCSEs. Once you get good grades they’ll start to trust you more and then make sure that you apply to unis far away so you can move out in a peaceful way that’ll literally keep everyone happy


Sorry I skim read it before wtf nevermind they are that bad hope youre ok

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