The Student Room Group

Genuinely resent my friend... (rant)

I've known R for several years. She was part of the friend group I joined in third year, and while we didn't have much in common, we still got along alright. Fast forward to the present. Half the group have left, two are barely there - R's the only one who comes to school consistently. She sits next to me at break and lunch, rides the bus to town with me, and I've just realised I genuinely hate her.

She's absurdly privileged. Her family has three cars and lives in one of the richest areas in town. Her grandfather is a millionaire. I'm the child of a single mother and my family is on benefits. During the height of the cost of living crisis, I told her I was worried we wouldn't be able to pay the heating bill. She told me /she/ was affected too: her family might have to cancel /one of/ their holidays to the ****ing Canary Islands. She chucks half of her lunch in the bin every day, and has been doing so for over a decade, because she can't be ****ed to take a packet of Pom Bears home. It drives me insane.

She's ignorant, vapid and unintelligent. She makes fun of people who are smarter than herself. She pretends to be leftist but gets all of her political information from Tiktok. She is 17 years old and believes she can reality shift to Hogwarts. When my mother was undergoing cancer surgery, she emailed me to rant about how I was 'disrespecting her religion' for telling her witchcraft and Draco Malfoy were not real. Wish I'd ended our friendship then and there. She's taking two Nat 5s and a college course, which'd be embarrassingly easy for a fourth year, yet alone a sixth year, but she still complains about the workload. She doesn't have a single Higher qualification because she spent all of fifth year distracting the teachers and refusing to learn. She still brags about doing this. She tries to prevent me from studying when I'm taking three Advanced Highers and a Higher. She mocks me for caring about my results.

She's pathologically lazy - she once refused to brush her teeth for almost a year. She left a rotting sandwich in her bag for six months, because it was too much effort to throw it out. She'd refuse to go out with the rest of our friend group, claiming it was too much effort to get on the bus, but she's made a new friend recently and constantly brags about how much time they're spending together. I have no clue what he sees in her. Every day I'm stuck sitting next to her and it's enough to make me want to scream. I want to tell her she's a piece of **** but I'm scared of the ramifications. My other two friends still get on with her and I don't want to lose them.
Oh my
Reply 2
Original post by Idkwhattopick
Oh my
real
Reply 3
Your resentment is completely understandable, I would definitely consider unfriending her—do it however you want, but do it. sounds like shes immature and needs to grow up/get some life lessons. but you dont have to stick around and wait for that. theres always a better friend waiting :wink:
Original post by itzmeeeee
real
I’m speechless 😭😭
Reply 5
Damn, honestly just focus your time and effort on your other two friends, and tbh if they can't see why you'd resent her then maybe it wasn't meant to be. Like tarmack said there's always better friends out there :smile:
Reply 6
Then she isn’t really a friend, simple solution
Reply 7
no fr like if ur friend is doing allat the only logical thing to do is leave them. Ull find plenty later in ur future dw bout it
Nah she's not a friend. Distance yourself away from her
Why are you still associated with the person?
Reply 10
Yeah you definitely need to distance yourselves. But to avoid being the enemy, do not completely shut out right away. Slowly drift away from the friendship until all you have left between each other is a simple nod or glance. It should be simple for you, since your willing to leave this friendship, and also she seems to be not focused on you either! Slowly distance yourself, but don’t completely shut out instantly to avoid becoming what you hate!
Wish you all the luck in the world with future friendships
Reply 11
Original post by Anonymous #1
I've known R for several years. She was part of the friend group I joined in third year, and while we didn't have much in common, we still got along alright. Fast forward to the present. Half the group have left, two are barely there - R's the only one who comes to school consistently. She sits next to me at break and lunch, rides the bus to town with me, and I've just realised I genuinely hate her.
She's absurdly privileged. Her family has three cars and lives in one of the richest areas in town. Her grandfather is a millionaire. I'm the child of a single mother and my family is on benefits. During the height of the cost of living crisis, I told her I was worried we wouldn't be able to pay the heating bill. She told me /she/ was affected too: her family might have to cancel /one of/ their holidays to the ****ing Canary Islands. She chucks half of her lunch in the bin every day, and has been doing so for over a decade, because she can't be ****ed to take a packet of Pom Bears home. It drives me insane.
She's ignorant, vapid and unintelligent. She makes fun of people who are smarter than herself. She pretends to be leftist but gets all of her political information from Tiktok. She is 17 years old and believes she can reality shift to Hogwarts. When my mother was undergoing cancer surgery, she emailed me to rant about how I was 'disrespecting her religion' for telling her witchcraft and Draco Malfoy were not real. Wish I'd ended our friendship then and there. She's taking two Nat 5s and a college course, which'd be embarrassingly easy for a fourth year, yet alone a sixth year, but she still complains about the workload. She doesn't have a single Higher qualification because she spent all of fifth year distracting the teachers and refusing to learn. She still brags about doing this. She tries to prevent me from studying when I'm taking three Advanced Highers and a Higher. She mocks me for caring about my results.
She's pathologically lazy - she once refused to brush her teeth for almost a year. She left a rotting sandwich in her bag for six months, because it was too much effort to throw it out. She'd refuse to go out with the rest of our friend group, claiming it was too much effort to get on the bus, but she's made a new friend recently and constantly brags about how much time they're spending together. I have no clue what he sees in her. Every day I'm stuck sitting next to her and it's enough to make me want to scream. I want to tell her she's a piece of **** but I'm scared of the ramifications. My other two friends still get on with her and I don't want to lose them.

Oh wow!
She sounds awful!
The thing about the teeth brushing and gross sandwich made me wonder though…This isn’t normal behaviour and there’s a chance she has other issues going on. She’s demonstrated that she has a lack of empathy. I’m not a doctor, but I was a teacher for twenty years and have worked with many students with autistic spectrum disorder, anxiety, depression and personality disorders. It may be that there is something like that going on here..
This is how I would deal with her: The Grey Rock Method. Google it for more specific detail, but basically it involves managing her by being as uninteresting as you can, literally give her NOTHING. Don’t ignore her, but don’t engage. Be as boring as you can to her. She’ll lose interest and drift away. Use one word answers like ‘Uh huh’, ‘Mmm’, ‘If you say so..’ shrug and smile rather than engage. Avoid asking questions.
There’s also Putting Doggy Out On The Porch. This involves being ultra polite, but nothing more. When you do this, people can’t work out what’s going on but can’t criticise you because you’ve done nothing wrong. It works well with difficult people. I’ve used it a lot in teaching with horrible parents and time-sapping colleagues.
Reply 12
Original post by Anonymous
I've known R for several years. She was part of the friend group I joined in third year, and while we didn't have much in common, we still got along alright. Fast forward to the present. Half the group have left, two are barely there - R's the only one who comes to school consistently. She sits next to me at break and lunch, rides the bus to town with me, and I've just realised I genuinely hate her.
She's absurdly privileged. Her family has three cars and lives in one of the richest areas in town. Her grandfather is a millionaire. I'm the child of a single mother and my family is on benefits. During the height of the cost of living crisis, I told her I was worried we wouldn't be able to pay the heating bill. She told me /she/ was affected too: her family might have to cancel /one of/ their holidays to the ****ing Canary Islands. She chucks half of her lunch in the bin every day, and has been doing so for over a decade, because she can't be ****ed to take a packet of Pom Bears home. It drives me insane.
She's ignorant, vapid and unintelligent. She makes fun of people who are smarter than herself. She pretends to be leftist but gets all of her political information from Tiktok. She is 17 years old and believes she can reality shift to Hogwarts. When my mother was undergoing cancer surgery, she emailed me to rant about how I was 'disrespecting her religion' for telling her witchcraft and Draco Malfoy were not real. Wish I'd ended our friendship then and there. She's taking two Nat 5s and a college course, which'd be embarrassingly easy for a fourth year, yet alone a sixth year, but she still complains about the workload. She doesn't have a single Higher qualification because she spent all of fifth year distracting the teachers and refusing to learn. She still brags about doing this. She tries to prevent me from studying when I'm taking three Advanced Highers and a Higher. She mocks me for caring about my results.
She's pathologically lazy - she once refused to brush her teeth for almost a year. She left a rotting sandwich in her bag for six months, because it was too much effort to throw it out. She'd refuse to go out with the rest of our friend group, claiming it was too much effort to get on the bus, but she's made a new friend recently and constantly brags about how much time they're spending together. I have no clue what he sees in her. Every day I'm stuck sitting next to her and it's enough to make me want to scream. I want to tell her she's a piece of **** but I'm scared of the ramifications. My other two friends still get on with her and I don't want to lose them.

I've had a few toxic friends, and the only regrets I have is that I didn't cut them off earlier. If you've reached this level of anger and resentment towards this girl, it's time to unfriend her. There may be some drama at first (it sounds like she is extremely immature and won't make things easy for you), but it will eventually blow over. If your other two friends start pulling away because you are no longer friends with her, they were never good friends in the first place.
Original post by Anonymous
I've known R for several years. She was part of the friend group I joined in third year, and while we didn't have much in common, we still got along alright. Fast forward to the present. Half the group have left, two are barely there - R's the only one who comes to school consistently. She sits next to me at break and lunch, rides the bus to town with me, and I've just realised I genuinely hate her.
She's absurdly privileged. Her family has three cars and lives in one of the richest areas in town. Her grandfather is a millionaire. I'm the child of a single mother and my family is on benefits. During the height of the cost of living crisis, I told her I was worried we wouldn't be able to pay the heating bill. She told me /she/ was affected too: her family might have to cancel /one of/ their holidays to the ****ing Canary Islands. She chucks half of her lunch in the bin every day, and has been doing so for over a decade, because she can't be ****ed to take a packet of Pom Bears home. It drives me insane.
She's ignorant, vapid and unintelligent. She makes fun of people who are smarter than herself. She pretends to be leftist but gets all of her political information from Tiktok. She is 17 years old and believes she can reality shift to Hogwarts. When my mother was undergoing cancer surgery, she emailed me to rant about how I was 'disrespecting her religion' for telling her witchcraft and Draco Malfoy were not real. Wish I'd ended our friendship then and there. She's taking two Nat 5s and a college course, which'd be embarrassingly easy for a fourth year, yet alone a sixth year, but she still complains about the workload. She doesn't have a single Higher qualification because she spent all of fifth year distracting the teachers and refusing to learn. She still brags about doing this. She tries to prevent me from studying when I'm taking three Advanced Highers and a Higher. She mocks me for caring about my results.
She's pathologically lazy - she once refused to brush her teeth for almost a year. She left a rotting sandwich in her bag for six months, because it was too much effort to throw it out. She'd refuse to go out with the rest of our friend group, claiming it was too much effort to get on the bus, but she's made a new friend recently and constantly brags about how much time they're spending together. I have no clue what he sees in her. Every day I'm stuck sitting next to her and it's enough to make me want to scream. I want to tell her she's a piece of **** but I'm scared of the ramifications. My other two friends still get on with her and I don't want to lose them.

The moment you said info from tik tok Im wholly on your side!
Original post by Autumn223
Then she isn’t really a friend, simple solution

shovel?
Original post by Anonymous
I've known R for several years. She was part of the friend group I joined in third year, and while we didn't have much in common, we still got along alright. Fast forward to the present. Half the group have left, two are barely there - R's the only one who comes to school consistently. She sits next to me at break and lunch, rides the bus to town with me, and I've just realised I genuinely hate her.
She's absurdly privileged. Her family has three cars and lives in one of the richest areas in town. Her grandfather is a millionaire. I'm the child of a single mother and my family is on benefits. During the height of the cost of living crisis, I told her I was worried we wouldn't be able to pay the heating bill. She told me /she/ was affected too: her family might have to cancel /one of/ their holidays to the ****ing Canary Islands. She chucks half of her lunch in the bin every day, and has been doing so for over a decade, because she can't be ****ed to take a packet of Pom Bears home. It drives me insane.
She's ignorant, vapid and unintelligent. She makes fun of people who are smarter than herself. She pretends to be leftist but gets all of her political information from Tiktok. She is 17 years old and believes she can reality shift to Hogwarts. When my mother was undergoing cancer surgery, she emailed me to rant about how I was 'disrespecting her religion' for telling her witchcraft and Draco Malfoy were not real. Wish I'd ended our friendship then and there. She's taking two Nat 5s and a college course, which'd be embarrassingly easy for a fourth year, yet alone a sixth year, but she still complains about the workload. She doesn't have a single Higher qualification because she spent all of fifth year distracting the teachers and refusing to learn. She still brags about doing this. She tries to prevent me from studying when I'm taking three Advanced Highers and a Higher. She mocks me for caring about my results.
She's pathologically lazy - she once refused to brush her teeth for almost a year. She left a rotting sandwich in her bag for six months, because it was too much effort to throw it out. She'd refuse to go out with the rest of our friend group, claiming it was too much effort to get on the bus, but she's made a new friend recently and constantly brags about how much time they're spending together. I have no clue what he sees in her. Every day I'm stuck sitting next to her and it's enough to make me want to scream. I want to tell her she's a piece of **** but I'm scared of the ramifications. My other two friends still get on with her and I don't want to lose them.

This sounds crazy! Do not let a person like this drag you down, she is probably relying on the bank of mum and dad in the future and does not care about school. If you are able to distance yourself please do, remember this will pass and you will find new friends when you go to university or wherever you may go. Keep studying and achieving your goals. I am no longer in school and BELIEVE ME when i tell you this, the people that I knew that were similar to this almost always ended up unemployed or working a minimum wage job with 0 progression,
Original post by Anonymous
I've known R for several years. She was part of the friend group I joined in third year, and while we didn't have much in common, we still got along alright. Fast forward to the present. Half the group have left, two are barely there - R's the only one who comes to school consistently. She sits next to me at break and lunch, rides the bus to town with me, and I've just realised I genuinely hate her.
She's absurdly privileged. Her family has three cars and lives in one of the richest areas in town. Her grandfather is a millionaire. I'm the child of a single mother and my family is on benefits. During the height of the cost of living crisis, I told her I was worried we wouldn't be able to pay the heating bill. She told me /she/ was affected too: her family might have to cancel /one of/ their holidays to the ****ing Canary Islands. She chucks half of her lunch in the bin every day, and has been doing so for over a decade, because she can't be ****ed to take a packet of Pom Bears home. It drives me insane.
She's ignorant, vapid and unintelligent. She makes fun of people who are smarter than herself. She pretends to be leftist but gets all of her political information from Tiktok. She is 17 years old and believes she can reality shift to Hogwarts. When my mother was undergoing cancer surgery, she emailed me to rant about how I was 'disrespecting her religion' for telling her witchcraft and Draco Malfoy were not real. Wish I'd ended our friendship then and there. She's taking two Nat 5s and a college course, which'd be embarrassingly easy for a fourth year, yet alone a sixth year, but she still complains about the workload. She doesn't have a single Higher qualification because she spent all of fifth year distracting the teachers and refusing to learn. She still brags about doing this. She tries to prevent me from studying when I'm taking three Advanced Highers and a Higher. She mocks me for caring about my results.
She's pathologically lazy - she once refused to brush her teeth for almost a year. She left a rotting sandwich in her bag for six months, because it was too much effort to throw it out. She'd refuse to go out with the rest of our friend group, claiming it was too much effort to get on the bus, but she's made a new friend recently and constantly brags about how much time they're spending together. I have no clue what he sees in her. Every day I'm stuck sitting next to her and it's enough to make me want to scream. I want to tell her she's a piece of **** but I'm scared of the ramifications. My other two friends still get on with her and I don't want to lose them.


…this can’t be a real person… just stop being friends w her. Just tell her u don’t like her to her face and if she argues just say u don’t wanna hang out w her easy as that.
Reading about your friend brings three words to my mind:
dirt
shovel
hole

obviously sarcastic haha but fr just unfriend her she clearly doesn't seem to care about you or anyone else for that matter. you'll most likely look back and feel glad that you left her. honestly, toxic people are just not f**king worth your time, energy and attention
Reply 18
aww generally i feel for cuz babe i come from a single mum fam, and i live off benefits too😶 (and i hv to look after 6 lil siblings...) what a coincidence man
i had a friend like that...but not as bad as her and i get it cuz it hurts, and you just wanna smash her in the face and be done with it, but distance ur self if u dont wanna say anything outrightly rude, and just give dry replies if she tries to talk to u
if u wanna talk im here as a friend x💜

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