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"How To Avoid Rape Tips" Shockingly Upsets Men on The Interwebz

The picture is a bit patronising but not really that big of a deal, regardless of it's effectiveness. We live in a society that teaches men not to rape and women to do what she can to avoid it, so just deal with it.

At the same time though since most feminist say the opposite is misogyny it's hard to argue that the picture is not misandry, especially when Sarah Silverman is saying "send this to all the men in your life".
You could also say this is callous and creates a hostile hysteric atmosphere. The post and Sarah Silverman are very presumptuous and essentially promoting fear by reinforcing the everyone is a threat and similar type rhetoric. Not to mention it plays into false concepts as well, from what I've read experts on the subject literally agree that rapists are criminally driven,not opportunistically or culturally. This posits the opposite, everyone is a potential rapist. (Relevant links here, it's a post from RAINN which is one of the largest organisations combating rape, abuse, sexual assault etc.)
The important take away from this is that this kind of attitude draws money away from actually helping combat rape in useful ways. An example of this is that one of Canadas only male shelters was closed due to a campaign of bullying and abuse on the premise that it didn't matter and womens shelters should take precedent. Soon after Earl Silverman (the man who ran it) committed suicide with stress being touted as the reason.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 61

Sam Walters

3

Original post by sacca

beacause of patriachy. rape culture is endemic in our society and university campuses, look at page 3 and david cameron refusing to identify as feminist. this is why 1/5 women are raped.

Oh shut up and start living in the real world

People rape others disregarding whats legal and what is morally correct. No amount of teaching men not to rape is going to stop that.

Now lets add this into perspective. I was raped. By a woman.

I was drugged. Now you banging on about men raping people.

What about girls on nights out that look like states that go after drunk guys because they know they wouldn't stand a chance if they were sober. What about that? Yet apparently that's acceptable?

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 62

silverbolt

19

Original post by Truths

This is why victims are so afraid to come forward. Because when it's a police man, teacher, priest, uncle, student that has raped them, they doubt themselves because everyone else at least see's them as "decent people". When really, everyone and anyone has it in them. We call them monster and act like their are different species to dissociate ourselves from the issue, when really these people are still a part and a product of our society. So, just know you are doing more harm than good with that simpleminded rhetoric.

Being perceived as decent and actually being decent are two very different things.

As for simple minded rhetoric i take offense to the idea that simply because i have a penis i am a rapist

Reply 63

Truths

OP

15

Original post by silverbolt

Being perceived as decent and actually being decent are two very different things.

And perception is truth. Put it this way:
Calling rapists ‘monsters’ is a very convenient way to create distance between our idea of ourselves as human beings and those that rape. It is, perhaps, a way to maintain a false sense of safety, which we subconsciously try to preserve at almost any cost. It is a way to avoid facing the very uncomfortable truth that most rapists are simply men living in our society. Perhaps the child next door that you see arriving home on his bicycle, the colleague that you chat to over lunch, the man sitting next to you on the bus. They are fathers, brothers, sons and husbands.
Rape is not an aberration, perpetrated only by the criminally insane or the psychiatrically disturbed. It is a very real social ill, perpetrated by normal men who live and move amongst us.
What does this mean for us as a society? It means we need to engage much more deeply and openly with the question: ‘What leads a man to rape?"

Reply 64

zedeneye1

18

Original post by DiddyDec

Who are these teachers of crime?

Criminals.

Reply 65

zedeneye1

18

Original post by HandmadeTurnip

Where are these crime teachers you speak of? Are there any specific schools you could refer me to?

Detroit.

I can't refer one in particular, I don't want to get assassinated.

Reply 66

Smileyface97

2

Tbh, the vast majority of guys are already following these rules. It is always the small minority that spoils it.
I must say some of the tips are good to not intimidate women in nighttime situations. I know I feel very scared travelling alone in the dark so leaving me alone is the best option.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 67

JAndrade1

8

It's kinda ridiculous that it's 2015 and people can get butt hurt over Sarah Silverman's humour. She's funny af.

Satirizing the most common advice given to women to "prevent rape" only highlights the issue, which is a plus to me.

The burden to not get raped is left entirely on women. Which is unfair. Like, how is telling a female to wear more conservative clothes and to go places accompanied okay? It's a double standard. But Silverman's poke at it won't solve the issue. Just get people talking about it.

Reply 68

TurboCretin

20

I don't think the list is offensive. It does make me a little angry though, in the sense that it essentially lampoons often quite sensible advice about keeping yourself protected. It's a bit counterproductive.

Reply 69

KingStannis

3

Original post by sacca

beacause of patriachy. rape culture is endemic in our society and university campuses, look at page 3 and david cameron refusing to identify as feminist. this is why 1/5 women are raped.

I'm sure you can prove that empirically.

Reply 70

MancBoy

12

Original post by JAndrade1

It's kinda ridiculous that it's 2015 and people can get butt hurt over Sarah Silverman's humour. She's funny af.

Satirizing the most common advice given to women to "prevent rape" only highlights the issue, which is a plus to me.

The burden to not get raped is left entirely on women. Which is unfair. Like, how is telling a female to wear more conservative clothes and to go places accompanied okay? It's a double standard. But Silverman's poke at it won't solve the issue. Just get people talking about it.

I'd love to see a women's reaction to this if it was a male comedian who 'poked' at it.

Reply 71

TurboCretin

20

Original post by Truths

And perception is truth. Put it this way:
Calling rapists ‘monsters’ is a very convenient way to create distance between our idea of ourselves as human beings and those that rape. It is, perhaps, a way to maintain a false sense of safety, which we subconsciously try to preserve at almost any cost. It is a way to avoid facing the very uncomfortable truth that most rapists are simply men living in our society. Perhaps the child next door that you see arriving home on his bicycle, the colleague that you chat to over lunch, the man sitting next to you on the bus. They are fathers, brothers, sons and husbands.
Rape is not an aberration, perpetrated only by the criminally insane or the psychiatrically disturbed. It is a very real social ill, perpetrated by normal men who live and move amongst us.
What does this mean for us as a society? It means we need to engage much more deeply and openly with the question: ‘What leads a man to rape?"

Well said.

Reply 72

KingStannis

3

Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes

Because one is victim blaming every woman who has been raped and the other is accusing every man on the planet of being a potential rapist. Equally bad as each other.

No. One is offering advice which if followed could reduce the number of rapes, ie a public good.

The other has absolutely no chance of reducing rapes and is an attack on the male gender.

Reply 73

hows_wally

2

Original post by sacca

as soon as a PoC speaks out they aren't taken seriously #racism#patriachy#feminism

You're not taken seriously cause what you're saying is unsubstantiated nonsense.

Reply 74

cole-slaw

5

Original post by Truths

I liked it. It was insightful. I don't see what the fuss is about. I will try to do all 10!

I agree, they seem like sensible tips.

They're far less patronising and offensive than a lot of the horrific condescending and sexist nonsense that women get told. "Don't go out by yourself" "Don't get drunk" "Don't wear short skirts".

Reply 75

Rorschach II

20

Original post by sacca

This is good, we should be teaching men not to rape and stop victim blaming. Institutionalized violence towards women must stop.

Bad choice of words there; saying "we should be teaching men not to rape" implies that (all) men will rape otherwise, unless otherwise taught of course. What a disgusting way to think.

That last part made me laugh, considering I read a recent thread of yours.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 76

JAndrade1

8

Original post by MancBoy

I'd love to see a women's reaction to this if it was a male comedian who 'poked' at it.

That's the thing. It wouldn't work that way, not to say that men can't joke about rape.

It's just that Silverman's tips are so ridiculous and a reversal of the norm...therefore a male comedian doing what she did would literally be him giving girls actual, common advice (with a comedic twist) like "Dress like a nun" or "Don't drink" It would be ridiculous, but not too far off from actual rape prevention measures. Was that too confusing or do you get it?

Reply 77

coatsoft

16

Original post by sacca

beacause of patriachy. rape culture is endemic in our society and university campuses, look at page 3 and david cameron refusing to identify as feminist. this is why 1/5 women are raped.