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I went to a private school. AMA. Watch

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    (Original post by IAmNero)
    No, you are just a very poor debater who cannot provide any substantial point.

    Has anyone ever said to you "You can't do that because your black?"

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    My point was quite clear, but you just seem to be ignoring it because of 'no scientific evidence'. I wasn't talking about explicit mistreatment, I was talking about subconscious bias. You might want to google that, and read up on the subject.

    Anyway, I just don't care to argue my point to someone who can't be empathetic to a situation, likely because they've never experienced it.

    And no, but I have been given remarks when I do or say stuff that most people wouldn't associate with being the 'black' thing to do.

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    (Original post by Princepieman)
    My point was quite clear, but you just seem to be ignoring it because of 'no scientific evidence'. I wasn't talking about explicit mistreatment, I was talking about subconscious bias. You might want to google that, and read up on the subject.

    Anyway, I just don't care to argue my point to someone who can't be empathetic to a situation, likely because they've never experienced it.

    And no, but I have been given remarks when I do or say stuff that most people wouldn't associate with being the 'black' thing to do.

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    A subconscious bias? Maybe in the 1950s but not in modern society.

    I lived in India and experienced horrific racism, don't you dare play the "you're white you don't what racism is like"

    I've similarly been told I don't "act white". It works both ways.

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    (Original post by IAmNero)
    A subconscious bias? Maybe in the 1950s but not in modern society.

    I lived in India and experienced horrific racism, don't you dare play the "you're white you don't what racism is like"

    I've similarly been told I don't "act white". It works both ways.

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    Lol, this is actually ridiculous. In the 1950s it wasn't subconscious, people actually looked down upon ethnic minorities to the point were they weren't even seen as 'human'. The residual effect of that attitude is why we have subconscious bias nowadays.. In fact a lot of the lingering sentiment towards affected demographics (women, LGBT, minorities) is as a result of the backwards, even monstrous views of people in power decades back. The fact you think it doesn't exist anymore is more telling to your ignorance than it is to my lack of an argument.

    I don't need to mention the disproportionate times minorities get pulled over in their cars, the disproportionate number of criminal accusations, the disproportionate bias against minorities in the dating scene (even vs other minorities), disproportionate number of stop and searches, etc, etc, etc. As a white dude, you don't need to worry about this stuff, because it's assumed that you're automatically 'normal', and not a 'threat'.

    Erm, India isn't the UK? It's pretty well known that India is one of the most discriminatory countries (i.e. caste system) in the world, of course you'd receive some form of discrimination there. That's also a moot point, this conversation is within the context of the UK.

    Privileges exist whether you want to believe it or not, dismissing it because you said so on an internet forum does not change that reality. Of course I'm not saying 'check your privilege' I'm saying don't be as naive as to say it doesn't exist.



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    (Original post by Princepieman)
    Lol, this is actually ridiculous. In the 1950s it wasn't subconscious, people actually looked down upon ethnic minorities to the point were they weren't even seen as 'human'. The residual effect of that attitude is why we have subconscious bias nowadays.. In fact a lot of the lingering sentiment towards affected demographics (women, LGBT, minorities) is as a result of the backwards, even monstrous views of people in power decades back. The fact you think it doesn't exist anymore is more telling to your ignorance than it is to my lack of an argument.

    I don't need to mention the disproportionate times minorities get pulled over in their cars, the disproportionate number of criminal accusations, the disproportionate bias against minorities in the dating scene (even vs other minorities), disproportionate number of stop and searches, etc, etc, etc. As a white dude, you don't need to worry about this stuff, because it's assumed that you're automatically 'normal', and not a 'threat'.

    Erm, India isn't the UK? It's pretty well known that India is one of the most discriminatory countries (i.e. caste system) in the world, of course you'd receive some form of discrimination there. That's also a moot point, this conversation is within the context of the UK.

    Privileges exist whether you want to believe it or not, dismissing it because you said so on an internet forum does not change that reality. Of course I'm not saying 'check your privilege' I'm saying don't be as naive as to say it doesn't exist.



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    Let's just agree to disagree because we will never agree on anything

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    (Original post by Princepieman)
    Because, I want to maximise the level of opportunities available to my children. There's a difference between simply acknowledging that you might have some good opportunities as a well off member of society and actively maximising for the highest exposure to said opportunities.

    You simply cannot compare a place like Andover (with an over $1bil endowment) to a 'good state school' in a 'good area'. The people who get into these top private schools are not only very well connected but they have the curiosity, intellect and general 'polish' about them which will rub off of their classmates.

    Likewise with my international school experience, I absolutely would not be the same person I am today without exposure to so many cultures and backgrounds. I'm much more open minded, more aware, more comfortable with change, and more attuned to having to shape myself into new environments than I otherwise would be had I stayed in a normal school.

    So it's not a question of do good state schools have good opportunities but rather do they maximise these opportunities in a condensed and effective manner? The answer to the latter question is they don't.
    This is true TBH, how much would you say you need to make to afford 30k a year for boarding? Would you really want to send your kids away?
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    (Original post by AnonymousPrince319413)
    This is true TBH, how much would you say you need to make to afford 30k a year for boarding? Would you really want to send your kids away?
    When my dad switched to the local self-funded tuition rate at the international school - it was ~£10k/person. There were 3 of us at school at that point and household income back then was £100-120k (which includes the £25-30k my mom made whilst in a junior HR role). We were extremely comfortable money wise so I only assume it worked out well.

    Something in that range, or preferably a tad more. All depends on where I'm based location wise.

    I wouldn't mind them being away if I knew they were enjoying their times there. I guess it would allow for a bit more of a focus on my potential career too. Plus I'd see them during the holidays etc.
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    (Original post by Princepieman)
    When my dad switched to the local self-funded tuition rate at the international school - it was ~£10k/person. There were 3 of us at school at that point and household income back then was £100-120k (which includes the £25-30k my mom made whilst in a junior HR role). We were extremely comfortable money wise so I only assume it worked out well.

    Something in that range, or preferably a tad more. All depends on where I'm based location wise.

    I wouldn't mind them being away if I knew they were enjoying their times there. I guess it would allow for a bit more of a focus on my potential career too. Plus I'd see them during the holidays etc.
    You are incredibly privileged - more privileged than the vast majority of white people on earth...
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    (Original post by anonwinner)
    You are incredibly privileged - more privileged than the vast majority of white people on earth...
    Well, my dad passed away and household income is now £13k because of my mom's PhD. So wealth doesn't last.

    Anywho, yes, I am priveleged that is quite obvious and I'm not denying I am. That still doesn't mean white people don't have certain non-monetary priveleges, it is false to state otherwise as the truth is in the numbers.
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    (Original post by AnonymousPrince319413)
    This is true TBH, how much would you say you need to make to afford 30k a year for boarding? Would you really want to send your kids away?
    Sorry to jump in here.

    First, I think you would need to earn a LOT of money to be able to send your children to 30k private schools. If you have more than one child, then you have to pick your favourite to send to a private school charging 30k per year. However, not all private schools cost 30K per year. Yes, the elite ones like Eton, Rugby and Harrow cost that amount, but there are some that are actually less (e.g. 12k, 9k, 15k per year).

    I don't think that sending your kids to private school is 'sending your kids away.' There is the stigma that kids, who went to private or boarding school were the naughty kids without much love from their parents. Some parents actually send their kids to these sort of schools for them to gain a level of independence. There are also options for private schools for day students, flexible boarding (i.e. some days in school and some days at home) and full boarding. Besides, being a day pupil does not necessarily mean that your parents love your more than other parents', who have kids in boarding or private schools.

    I also think that the benefits of a private education is clear to the future prospects of the child in question. Private school kids account for majority of the leaders in many industries. Whether you like it or not, it is true.

    Finally, I am not faulting the public or state school. There are kids that are top students that go on to fantastic careers from state schools. The important attributes of private education are the discipline, invested interest by all parties, availability of resources for development as well as overall decent contacts. Yes, some public schools have these attributes as well, but there are barriers to attaining such standards including living in specific catchment areas, being part of a particular religious group or just being lucky in a school ballot.

    My opinion is that if one can afford to send their children to private schools, then they should. There should not be subtle condemnation of this group because some people don't approve you 'sending your kids away'.
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    Do ye prefer pigeons or seagulls?
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    (Original post by Wired_1800)
    Sorry to jump in here.

    First, I think you would need to earn a LOT of money to be able to send your children to 30k private schools. If you have more than one child, then you have to pick your favourite to send to a private school charging 30k per year. However, not all private schools cost 30K per year. Yes, the elite ones like Eton, Rugby and Harrow cost that amount, but there are some that are actually less (e.g. 12k, 9k, 15k per year).

    I don't think that sending your kids to private school is 'sending your kids away.' There is the stigma that kids, who went to private or boarding school were the naughty kids without much love from their parents. Some parents actually send their kids to these sort of schools for them to gain a level of independence. There are also options for private schools for day students, flexible boarding (i.e. some days in school and some days at home) and full boarding. Besides, being a day pupil does not necessarily mean that your parents love your more than other parents', who have kids in boarding or private schools.

    I also think that the benefits of a private education is clear to the future prospects of the child in question. Private school kids account for majority of the leaders in many industries. Whether you like it or not, it is true.

    Finally, I am not faulting the public or state school. There are kids that are top students that go on to fantastic careers from state schools. The important attributes of private education are the discipline, invested interest by all parties, availability of resources for development as well as overall decent contacts. Yes, some public schools have these attributes as well, but there are barriers to attaining such standards including living in specific catchment areas, being part of a particular religious group or just being lucky in a school ballot.

    My opinion is that if one can afford to send their children to private schools, then they should. There should not be subtle condemnation of this group because some people don't approve you 'sending your kids away'.
    I think once they've reached a certain age, "sending them away" can be a really good thing. Normally this happens at age 18 when they go to university, but I think it wouldn't hurt for this to happen a few years earlier.

    Even though I didn't go to boarding school, for me it was during the age period of about 13-18 when I started to want more independence from my parents. Those were the days when I'd come home from school and not be too interested in sitting down with my parents and having "family time", but go straight to my room, shut myself in and start chatting to my friends on my phone/computer like a typical teenager. That was when I wanted to spend much more time amongst my peers, and start to develop and hold my own as an individual in my own right, rather than still feeling like a child of the family.

    I think sending them to boarding school (where they still come home in the holidays and maybe weekends) is a great way to start giving them that sense of independence early on, without having to worry that they're totally unsupervised and alone in the world. It's no wonder that my the time they reach university age, most people are just dying to get away.
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    (Original post by tazarooni89)
    I think once they've reached a certain age, "sending them away" can be a really good thing. Normally this happens at age 18 when they go to university, but I think it wouldn't hurt for this to happen a few years earlier.

    Even though I didn't go to boarding school, for me it was during the age period of about 13-18 when I started to want more independence from my parents. Those were the days when I'd come home from school and not be too interested in sitting down with my parents and having "family time", but go straight to my room, shut myself in and start chatting to my friends on my phone/computer like a typical teenager. That was when I wanted to spend much more time amongst my peers, and start to develop and hold my own as an individual in my own right, rather than still feeling like a child of the family.

    I think sending them to boarding school (where they still come home in the holidays and maybe weekends) is a great way to start giving them that sense of independence early on, without having to worry that they're totally unsupervised and alone in the world. It's no wonder that my the time they reach university age, most people are just dying to get away.
    That is very true.

    I think that some people need to get past the idea that sending your children to boarding or private school is a death sentence.

    Many kids, who went to boarding schools, that I know have agreed on the benefits of that independence. Some of them were gradually inducted into the boarding life from couple of days in school to full boarding.

    Like you wrote, even though some day students are at home, many would just go to their rooms or go to public places to be with their friends.
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    (Original post by zanner)
    hahahaaahha seems like you're having fun thanks for the advice it acc does ease some of my nerves
    thanks again
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    buffets af
    Aha I really am tbh. S'okie I hope all goes well for you!!!!

    Ahah yup


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    (Original post by tazarooni89)
    With only around 7% of people attending private schools, and with a lot of subsequent misconceptions, stereotyping and perhaps curiosity around what it might be like to go to one, I thought it might be useful to take some questions on the subject.

    So go ahead, ask me anything
    Do you attend a boarding school?
    Do you ever wonder what going to a state school is like (I'll answer any questions if you have any ;-) )?
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    (Original post by megan789)
    Do you attend a boarding school?
    Do you ever wonder what going to a state school is like (I'll answer any questions if you have any ;-) )?
    At one point I attended a school with both boarders and day pupils. I never boarded myself though (just stayed over once or twice), but I think I have a fairly good idea of what it's like.


    I have wondered what it's like to go to a state school, but I suppose there's probably a very wide range of them, all being different. I don't know how well your state school performed, but I suppose I'd want to know, for the less well performing ones, what you think could be done to improve their results?

    Is there necessarily a need for more funding? What would be done with the extra money if so? Or could improvements be achieved with just a bit of a shift in the culture amongst the pupils? How could this be instigated?
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    (Original post by tazarooni89)
    At one point I attended a school with both boarders and day pupils. I never boarded myself though (just stayed over once or twice), but I think I have a fairly good idea of what it's like.


    I have wondered what it's like to go to a state school, but I suppose there's probably a very wide range of them, all being different. I don't know how well your state school performed, but I suppose I'd want to know, for the less well performing ones, what you think could be done to improve their results?

    Is there necessarily a need for more funding? What would be done with the extra money if so? Or could improvements be achieved with just a bit of a shift in the culture amongst the pupils? How could this be instigated?
    My school just had the annual inspection so currently I'm not sure how we are performing but our last report was good!
    I think to improve results teachers should put their classes first and extra activities second ( this is from personal experience).
    I think there isn't a need for more funding, schools should use their money wisely instead of wasting it - like my school currently does.
    If we had extra money I think it would be spent on upgrading the computers and class rooms.
    To improve a school I feel students and teachers need to work together however all suggestions made by students are often ignored. This leads to students often having little respect for the school by the time they are in the later years.

    Is your school mixed or single sex - if single sex ,do you prefer this?
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    (Original post by megan789)
    My school just had the annual inspection so currently I'm not sure how we are performing but our last report was good!
    I think to improve results teachers should put their classes first and extra activities second ( this is from personal experience).
    I think there isn't a need for more funding, schools should use their money wisely instead of wasting it - like my school currently does.
    If we had extra money I think it would be spent on upgrading the computers and class rooms.
    To improve a school I feel students and teachers need to work together however all suggestions made by students are often ignored. This leads to students often having little respect for the school by the time they are in the later years.

    Is your school mixed or single sex - if single sex ,do you prefer this?
    Sorry to jump in here.

    Do you think that your school would improve, if it became private with a Board of Governors (or Trustees) and a clearer direction?

    I have heard that the reason why some private schools do well is because of the independence and clear direction from the school management. Obviously not all private schools perform at a very high level like Eton, Rugby or Harrow, but a lot seem to do so.
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    (Original post by megan789)
    Is your school mixed or single sex - if single sex ,do you prefer this?
    My school is a bit of both.

    Officially they're two separate schools, one for boys and one for girls. For the most part, boys and girls have separate buildings, teachers, lessons, management etc.

    However certain things are shared between boys and girls, for example the outdoor school grounds, some clubs and societies, some school trips, activities such as drama, choirs and orchestras, and some lessons for subjects that would otherwise be undersubscribed. And from an outside-of-school social perspective, it may as well be mixed.

    I like it the way it is, because it seems to be the best of both worlds.
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    (Original post by Wired_1800)
    Sorry to jump in here.

    Do you think that your school would improve, if it became private with a Board of Governors (or Trustees) and a clearer direction?

    I have heard that the reason why some private schools do well is because of the independence and clear direction from the school management. Obviously not all private schools perform at a very high level like Eton, Rugby or Harrow, but a lot seem to do so.
    Sorry to jump in as well :p:

    I think it's an extremely beneficial aspect of private education that they're independent and can make a lot of decisions without too much external bureaucracy. But the reason it works for a private school is that the management is still accountable to paying customers like any other private company. Their ultimate aim is to satisfy the parents by whatever means necessary.

    In the state sector there's obviously a lot more operational regulation imposed upon the school externally, from bodies that probably don't have the same on-the-ground awareness of the nuances of that particular school. I've heard it suggested that the bureaucracy needs to reduce, but I think it's more difficult in the state sector. Management aren't quite as accountable to the parents because as far as that relationship concerned, it's a free service being provided, and there isn't the same competitive pressure as in the private sector. The school management has to be held accountable by someone, so the external bureaucracy is necessary to some extent. Their ultimate aim ends up being to meet various government and Ofsted targets, which may not necessarily be totally aligned with the interests of the parents and pupils.
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    (Original post by tazarooni89)
    Sorry to jump in as well :p:

    I think it's an extremely beneficial aspect of private education that they're independent and can make a lot of decisions without too much external bureaucracy. But the reason it works for a private school is that the management is still accountable to paying customers like any other private company. Their ultimate aim is to satisfy the parents by whatever means necessary.

    In the state sector there's obviously a lot more operational regulation imposed upon the school externally, from bodies that probably don't have the same on-the-ground awareness of the nuances of that particular school. I've heard it suggested that the bureaucracy needs to reduce, but I think it's more difficult in the state sector. Management aren't quite as accountable to the parents because as far as that relationship concerned, it's a free service being provided, and there isn't the same competitive pressure as in the private sector. The school management has to be held accountable by someone, so the external bureaucracy is necessary to some extent. Their ultimate aim ends up being to meet various government and Ofsted targets, which may not necessarily be totally aligned with the interests of the parents and pupils.
    That is true.

    The major benefit for the private schools is the flexibility. They are flexible in meeting their students’ needs. However, the state school needs to have a level playing field, with a no-child left behind mantra.

    I think the Government’s idea to modifying some failing schools to independent academies may be a good option. Some schools are fighting it, but I think that they are afraid that they will start being held accountable and, as a result, their jobs will become more difficult because they can no longer hide under the guise of the state education system.

    I think that some state schools can out-perform private schools, if they are given more independence. If some state schools are performing very well with all the bureaucracy, imagine how awesome they would be with more independence.
 
 
 
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