Anxiety over having nothing to do?!

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farawayheartbeat
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#1
Report Thread starter 9 years ago
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Hey guys, I know the cause of this, but I would really appreciate any advice on how to deal with it - or any stories of anyone who've had it.

I've spent the last 2ish months as a waster, basically. I'm on a gap year, completed an internship, got home, didn't get a job. I was trying, but could've tried harder, if you know what I mean. I have busy weekends, but free weeks, except for the on and off plans if something came up.
I'm not proud of it, but I was okay with it: I got bored sometimes, but I was usually fine.

Until last week, I got sick, and had 1 week in the house. Doing my usual stuff, but ill, and did nothing at the weekends like I usually do. And it's done something to me.
After that week, when I was getting better, I was just come over with this horrid feeling of isolation. I felt so anxious, and almost panic-y, like I literally wanted to rip my hair out. I couldn't concentrate on anything, I could only think about how I "had no friends", nothing to do, how I was just stuck indoors and had no plans and would be indoors with no friends. Etc.

So I literally texted all my friends and made plans (lol) and that's carried me through a good chunk of the week, except...tomorrow (wed) - fri I have no plans and I'm starting to feel anxious again.
I know how ridiculous this sounds, but it's genuine, and I utterly hate it. I've never felt like this before.
Doing this I usually do (internet, TV, read, play on the wii) is still fine if I know I'm doing something later, or if I've gotten in after a day out. But knowing I have a full day of nothing ahead?
I can't concentrate, and this awful feeling begins to creep back.

The main problem is, this week everyone is going off to uni. So while I got hold of people this week, I feel like I can't cry out for help anymore. I only have two friends that are staying in this town instead of leaving for uni (I'm living at home)

I'm not bold enough to do something like go to the pub and make friends. I have my first "introduction" day at uni on monday so I'm thinking then I'll have plans for the daytime, and hopefully new friends.
But what about before then, and other free days that will open up? What do you do? I feel like I can't pester my 2 friends that are staying, because they're busy with their education, and boyfriends etc.

Please advise, anyone. as for the job part, I'm currently 2nd-interviewing & shift trialling so hopefully that'll go good.
But I'm thinking of tomorrow-fri and I'm already feeling my anxiety returning. I've never felt like this before!
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mikeyd85
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Report 9 years ago
#2
Do something that gets you out the house. Walking, running, photography, sketching. Anything that'll just get you out and about and hopefully give you some exercise too. The endorphins released should sort you out nicely. Congrats on the job front too btw.
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dirtyoldriver
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Report 9 years ago
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I get this exact same thing, you're not alone. I get really angsty, irritable and depressed, ending up prone to excessive worry and also crying for no reason. Can you plan things that at the very least get you out the house? Going to do some shopping or run errands for example, or even go for a run or bike ride. That tends to help me as it exposes me to the outside world slightly and gets some more vitamin D in my system as well as exercise. Do something vaguely constructive inside too even if it's just baking something, get creative and then you'll feel productive.

I had a week like this a little while back and went vaguely insane but just make yourself enjoy the 'me' time as far as possible. Sit in the garden to do things if you can, it's better than being holed up inside. When I got really desperate I just went '**** it' and took my laptop with iplayer outside with a beer and just enjoyed being deliciously lazy for a few hours
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anonperson
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#4
Report 9 years ago
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(Original post by farawayheartbeat)
Hey guys, I know the cause of this, but I would really appreciate any advice on how to deal with it - or any stories of anyone who've had it.

I've spent the last 2ish months as a waster, basically. I'm on a gap year, completed an internship, got home, didn't get a job. I was trying, but could've tried harder, if you know what I mean. I have busy weekends, but free weeks, except for the on and off plans if something came up.
I'm not proud of it, but I was okay with it: I got bored sometimes, but I was usually fine.

Until last week, I got sick, and had 1 week in the house. Doing my usual stuff, but ill, and did nothing at the weekends like I usually do. And it's done something to me.
After that week, when I was getting better, I was just come over with this horrid feeling of isolation. I felt so anxious, and almost panic-y, like I literally wanted to rip my hair out. I couldn't concentrate on anything, I could only think about how I "had no friends", nothing to do, how I was just stuck indoors and had no plans and would be indoors with no friends. Etc.

So I literally texted all my friends and made plans (lol) and that's carried me through a good chunk of the week, except...tomorrow (wed) - fri I have no plans and I'm starting to feel anxious again.
I know how ridiculous this sounds, but it's genuine, and I utterly hate it. I've never felt like this before.
Doing this I usually do (internet, TV, read, play on the wii) is still fine if I know I'm doing something later, or if I've gotten in after a day out. But knowing I have a full day of nothing ahead?
I can't concentrate, and this awful feeling begins to creep back.

The main problem is, this week everyone is going off to uni. So while I got hold of people this week, I feel like I can't cry out for help anymore. I only have two friends that are staying in this town instead of leaving for uni (I'm living at home)

I'm not bold enough to do something like go to the pub and make friends. I have my first "introduction" day at uni on monday so I'm thinking then I'll have plans for the daytime, and hopefully new friends.
But what about before then, and other free days that will open up? What do you do? I feel like I can't pester my 2 friends that are staying, because they're busy with their education, and boyfriends etc.

Please advise, anyone. as for the job part, I'm currently 2nd-interviewing & shift trialling so hopefully that'll go good.
But I'm thinking of tomorrow-fri and I'm already feeling my anxiety returning. I've never felt like this before!
You're the first person I've found who's described exactly how I've felt all summer and no one seemed to really understand it. I told one of my friends who worked all the way through summer and they just laughed at me and said I was ridiculous for getting depressed over something so minor. But just like you've described, isolation and a lack of routine can really make you feel like you're going mad.

Firstly, do everything you can to find something to occupy your time on a daily basis, whether it's a job or even volunteering until you find paid work. Don't let yourself stay in your current situation, because you will get more depressed and you don't want it to effect you on a deeper level. I got to a point where I was having panic attacks simply from being so ****ing fed up and so bored that it scared me how I was feeling. I lost confidence, gained self esteem issues and felt constantly exhausted, which stopped me being arsed to do anything to get myself out of that slump. It is all to do with you bringing yourself out of it, no one else can unfortunately.

Take up exercise, I have started to the last couple of weeks and already it's helped so so much. All I did was buy myself a good pair of trainers and go for a bike or run everyday and that's enough for me. Also find hobbies that interest you when you're on your own, don't get into a slump where you're on the internet and watching tv all the time. Also, make plans for what you want to do by a certain date, so you always have goals and ambitions. I realised the problem was I had no purpose and every human needs a purpose, otherwise you feel worthless. I totally understand how you're feeling and if you need to chat, just PM me

My situation is a bit different now because i am off to uni, but i know people who have struggled to find jobs and have now found work with all the uni people going off and they are happy and moving on Even if it's not something ideal that you don't see working for in the long run, take it and when something better comes along, you can always move on.

I'm guessing you are a fairly sociable person who likes to keep busy, so it's only natural you'll feel this way. You will come out of it
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farawayheartbeat
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#5
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Thanks so much, guys!

anonperson, I'm glad to find someone who has experienced the same thing - I definitely get the feeling my friends don't get it. Although, one of them called it "cabin fever"; at least now I have a name for it, haha.
Thanks for the advice. I've been keeping busy but wasn't sure if I was making it worse by trying to avoid it, so it's a relief to hear that. It is made worse because all but 2 of my friends are moving far away for uni next week, and I feel like a clingy pest if I beg those 2 friends for anymore time with me next week! :/
Thankfully next week I have my first week of uni, but I'm living at home and don't know the plans yet, so I'm hoping it'll be busy, but I am worried about "free days stretched ahead".
What's weirder is, as you say about me being a sociable person, if I'm honest, I wasn't really before. Yeh, I enjoyed meeting people, but I always seemed to spend more time alone/indoors than others do. All of a sudden this has hit me and I utterly hate it!
Thanks so much for the advice, I very much hope I come out of it like you say. I seem fine 4pmish onwards - it's the beginning of the "open day" that's the worst.
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Trottoir
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#6
Report 8 years ago
#6
This is exactly what I have been going through. I'm just waiting for uni to start in two weeks, and I just feel so pathetic at home doing nothing.
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JadeG1988
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#7
Hi I seem to be having this same feeling and I have had anxiety for many years but as we all have been on lockdown it’s hit me once again! I don’t go anywhere I do the school run and then come home and sleep as my mind won’t stop worrying about anxiety I don’t have anyone to meet up with either but even when I do pop to the school I’m so anxious as I don’t go anywhere
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Anonymous #1
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Report 4 weeks ago
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What did you do before lockdown can I ask? Did you have a job (and if so have you been forced to do everything from home/is that even possible with your line of work?) or were/ are you a stay at home parent? I have a lot of sympathy for you. When I'm in college, or I'm working full-time, there's always tonnes to do. And it helps to drown out most of the negative thoughts that come in because of anxiety, but there was a couple of really horrible weeks where I couldn't find work, and it's like a gateway for everything to come crashing in then, and I just felt so exhausted and bored and useless. If you're anything like me, you probably have to force yourself to be busy with stuff. I would really recommend when you come back from the school run, before you even step in the door and have time to get tired, going for a walk. It doesn't have to be long. Even half an hour and you've already achieved something, and if you managed to get your kids off to school on time, despite feeling as bad as you do then really that's two things already! I don't know what you could do about the social isolation. I'd say there are probably other parents at the school who are in the same boat as you though, itching to talk to someone but not knowing how with all of the social distancing and stuff, that once we don't have to do that anymore, would love to go for a walk and a chat with you, or coffee, or whatever low key thing you can think of, and they're probably hoping that someone else will suggest it, because they're too nervous to. My mum is normally a very sociable person and to fill in her time, on her days off work she's learning a new language- just from free apps and from books and CDs and stuff. That might not be your thing, but if you did have an interest, it could potentially be something that could be very sociable once all restrictions are lifted (as in you could meet new people by going to language classes). It's things like that could potentially fill your mind with less negative thoughts and give you some sense of achievement anyway.
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Mia2021
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#9
What did you do before lockdown can I ask? Did you have a job (and if so have you been forced to do everything from home/is that even possible with your line of work?) or were/ are you a stay at home parent? I have a lot of sympathy for you. When I'm in college, or I'm working full-time, there's always tonnes to do. And it helps to drown out most of the negative thoughts that come in because of anxiety, but there was a couple of really horrible weeks where I couldn't find work, and it's like a gateway for everything to come crashing in then, and I just felt so exhausted and bored and useless. If you're anything like me, you probably have to force yourself to be busy with stuff. I would really recommend when you come back from the school run, before you even step in the door and have time to get tired, going for a walk. It doesn't have to be long. Even half an hour and you've already achieved something, and if you managed to get your kids off to school on time, despite feeling as bad as you do then really that's two things already! I don't know what you could do about the social isolation. I'd say there are probably other parents at the school who are in the same boat as you though, itching to talk to someone but not knowing how with all of the social distancing and stuff, that once we don't have to do that anymore, would love to go for a walk and a chat with you, or coffee, or whatever low key thing you can think of, and they're probably hoping that someone else will suggest it, because they're too nervous to. My mum is normally a very sociable person and to fill in her time, on her days off work she's learning a new language- just from free apps and from books and CDs and stuff. That might not be your thing, but if you did have an interest, it could potentially be something that could be very sociable once all restrictions are lifted (as in you could meet new people by going to language classes). It's things like that could potentially fill your mind with less negative thoughts and give you some sense of achievement anyway.
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Luka9
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Report 4 weeks ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
What did you do before lockdown can I ask? Did you have a job (and if so have you been forced to do everything from home/is that even possible with your line of work?) or were/ are you a stay at home parent? I have a lot of sympathy for you. When I'm in college, or I'm working full-time, there's always tonnes to do. And it helps to drown out most of the negative thoughts that come in because of anxiety, but there was a couple of really horrible weeks where I couldn't find work, and it's like a gateway for everything to come crashing in then, and I just felt so exhausted and bored and useless. If you're anything like me, you probably have to force yourself to be busy with stuff. I would really recommend when you come back from the school run, before you even step in the door and have time to get tired, going for a walk. It doesn't have to be long. Even half an hour and you've already achieved something, and if you managed to get your kids off to school on time, despite feeling as bad as you do then really that's two things already! I don't know what you could do about the social isolation. I'd say there are probably other parents at the school who are in the same boat as you though, itching to talk to someone but not knowing how with all of the social distancing and stuff, that once we don't have to do that anymore, would love to go for a walk and a chat with you, or coffee, or whatever low key thing you can think of, and they're probably hoping that someone else will suggest it, because they're too nervous to. My mum is normally a very sociable person and to fill in her time, on her days off work she's learning a new language- just from free apps and from books and CDs and stuff. That might not be your thing, but if you did have an interest, it could potentially be something that could be very sociable once all restrictions are lifted (as in you could meet new people by going to language classes). It's things like that could potentially fill your mind with less negative thoughts and give you some sense of achievement anyway.
This thread is 9 years old bro
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Anonymous #1
#11
Report 4 weeks ago
#11
(Original post by JadeG1988)
Hi I seem to be having this same feeling and I have had anxiety for many years but as we all have been on lockdown it’s hit me once again! I don’t go anywhere I do the school run and then come home and sleep as my mind won’t stop worrying about anxiety I don’t have anyone to meet up with either but even when I do pop to the school I’m so anxious as I don’t go anywhere
(Original post by Luka9)
This thread is 9 years old bro
True haha but I was trying to reply to this one's message, posted only a couple of weeks ago
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