I feel like people shame me for exercising?
TW - Weight loss, ED
So I am fat. Like I’m 20 years old and 19 stone, and for the most part of my life every year I would weigh the same as my age - e.g 11 stone when I was 11, 12 stone when I was 12 etc. I’ve also struggled with binge eating disorder for about 10 years!
I would like to make clear that me wanting to loose weight and get fitter is not a whim of a New Year’s resolution but something I’ve been trying to muster up the courage to do and take the first steps into doing for the last few months, after I was diagnosed with PCOS and a doctor told me to loose weight. I want to make it clear that I don’t want advice for the ins and outs of what to do here, I think that won’t be good for my eating disorder, and I have advice from my doctor and the NHS!
I do feel shamed by my parents for wanting to loose weight, as well as judged by my friends for exercising because ‘I’m in my twenties and it’s time to have fun and not worry about my health.’ One of my friends is very bodily aware and self conscious, and she struggles with many mental illnesses, so I’m worried that being around someone trying to loose weight will be triggering for her, even if it is in a healthy way. She is also very dismissive about her own health, she smokes half a pack a day, was addicted to various (non lethal) substances for a bit and is quite judgemental of people who take care of themselves and don’t drink or smoke, calling them lame and boring. I want to make a change to my lifestyle but having this shame and judgement is making it hard to find motivation and is massively on my mind about what my friend might think.
So I am fat. Like I’m 20 years old and 19 stone, and for the most part of my life every year I would weigh the same as my age - e.g 11 stone when I was 11, 12 stone when I was 12 etc. I’ve also struggled with binge eating disorder for about 10 years!
I would like to make clear that me wanting to loose weight and get fitter is not a whim of a New Year’s resolution but something I’ve been trying to muster up the courage to do and take the first steps into doing for the last few months, after I was diagnosed with PCOS and a doctor told me to loose weight. I want to make it clear that I don’t want advice for the ins and outs of what to do here, I think that won’t be good for my eating disorder, and I have advice from my doctor and the NHS!
I do feel shamed by my parents for wanting to loose weight, as well as judged by my friends for exercising because ‘I’m in my twenties and it’s time to have fun and not worry about my health.’ One of my friends is very bodily aware and self conscious, and she struggles with many mental illnesses, so I’m worried that being around someone trying to loose weight will be triggering for her, even if it is in a healthy way. She is also very dismissive about her own health, she smokes half a pack a day, was addicted to various (non lethal) substances for a bit and is quite judgemental of people who take care of themselves and don’t drink or smoke, calling them lame and boring. I want to make a change to my lifestyle but having this shame and judgement is making it hard to find motivation and is massively on my mind about what my friend might think.
Are you a faddy eater? Or are you happy to eat just about anything, as long as it's ripe, fresh and properly prepared?
It's OK if you don't like mushy boiled cabbage, for instance, as that's what I would call improperly prepared compared to eating raw sliced cabbage in a delicious crunchy salad.
What exactly did you eat and drink yesterday, including how much of each?
Would I be right in guessing that you like fried or roasted chicken?
For the binge eating, would it help if we could come up with stuff that you could binge on that would reduce inflammation within your body and be OK from a blood sugar / insulin spike point of view? Why fight against binge eating when you can use it to flood your body with anti-oxidants and phytonutrients? IE accept that binge eating is a part of who and what you are and channel into a force for good (or neutrality) in your life.
Are you allergic to any foods?
PCOS:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcT4K5KkTDE
If it helps with your mentally ill friend, tell her you're trying an experiment to address your PCOS.
You don't need to tell her that this experiment may well have beneficial effects on your weight, long term health and life expectancy.
Many people are self destructive - eg your friend. You don't have to be.
One way of looking at the PCOS is that it's the canary in the coalmine. The early warning sign that something's not right.
It's OK if you don't like mushy boiled cabbage, for instance, as that's what I would call improperly prepared compared to eating raw sliced cabbage in a delicious crunchy salad.
What exactly did you eat and drink yesterday, including how much of each?
Would I be right in guessing that you like fried or roasted chicken?
For the binge eating, would it help if we could come up with stuff that you could binge on that would reduce inflammation within your body and be OK from a blood sugar / insulin spike point of view? Why fight against binge eating when you can use it to flood your body with anti-oxidants and phytonutrients? IE accept that binge eating is a part of who and what you are and channel into a force for good (or neutrality) in your life.
Are you allergic to any foods?
PCOS:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcT4K5KkTDE
If it helps with your mentally ill friend, tell her you're trying an experiment to address your PCOS.
You don't need to tell her that this experiment may well have beneficial effects on your weight, long term health and life expectancy.
Many people are self destructive - eg your friend. You don't have to be.
One way of looking at the PCOS is that it's the canary in the coalmine. The early warning sign that something's not right.
Stop using other people as an excuse and just do it.
It's not like some posters on here who are taking it to extremes; you're making a change for the better and you are doing it for you. It doesn't matter what other people think, now, during your transformation or when you come out of the other side looking and feeling better.
It's not like some posters on here who are taking it to extremes; you're making a change for the better and you are doing it for you. It doesn't matter what other people think, now, during your transformation or when you come out of the other side looking and feeling better.
Original post by Anonymous #1
TW - Weight loss, ED
So I am fat. Like I’m 20 years old and 19 stone, and for the most part of my life every year I would weigh the same as my age - e.g 11 stone when I was 11, 12 stone when I was 12 etc. I’ve also struggled with binge eating disorder for about 10 years!
I would like to make clear that me wanting to loose weight and get fitter is not a whim of a New Year’s resolution but something I’ve been trying to muster up the courage to do and take the first steps into doing for the last few months, after I was diagnosed with PCOS and a doctor told me to loose weight. I want to make it clear that I don’t want advice for the ins and outs of what to do here, I think that won’t be good for my eating disorder, and I have advice from my doctor and the NHS!
I do feel shamed by my parents for wanting to loose weight, as well as judged by my friends for exercising because ‘I’m in my twenties and it’s time to have fun and not worry about my health.’ One of my friends is very bodily aware and self conscious, and she struggles with many mental illnesses, so I’m worried that being around someone trying to loose weight will be triggering for her, even if it is in a healthy way. She is also very dismissive about her own health, she smokes half a pack a day, was addicted to various (non lethal) substances for a bit and is quite judgemental of people who take care of themselves and don’t drink or smoke, calling them lame and boring. I want to make a change to my lifestyle but having this shame and judgement is making it hard to find motivation and is massively on my mind about what my friend might think.
So I am fat. Like I’m 20 years old and 19 stone, and for the most part of my life every year I would weigh the same as my age - e.g 11 stone when I was 11, 12 stone when I was 12 etc. I’ve also struggled with binge eating disorder for about 10 years!
I would like to make clear that me wanting to loose weight and get fitter is not a whim of a New Year’s resolution but something I’ve been trying to muster up the courage to do and take the first steps into doing for the last few months, after I was diagnosed with PCOS and a doctor told me to loose weight. I want to make it clear that I don’t want advice for the ins and outs of what to do here, I think that won’t be good for my eating disorder, and I have advice from my doctor and the NHS!
I do feel shamed by my parents for wanting to loose weight, as well as judged by my friends for exercising because ‘I’m in my twenties and it’s time to have fun and not worry about my health.’ One of my friends is very bodily aware and self conscious, and she struggles with many mental illnesses, so I’m worried that being around someone trying to loose weight will be triggering for her, even if it is in a healthy way. She is also very dismissive about her own health, she smokes half a pack a day, was addicted to various (non lethal) substances for a bit and is quite judgemental of people who take care of themselves and don’t drink or smoke, calling them lame and boring. I want to make a change to my lifestyle but having this shame and judgement is making it hard to find motivation and is massively on my mind about what my friend might think.
Like others have said, it’s you who it’ll benefit. Therefore, follow your own mind.
The best thing for me I found was working good hours in a physically active job. Losing weight is something I didn’t really consider as a perk until I noticed it. Granted, I’m not 19 stone but the point stands that you don’t have to think about it to be doing it.
Build in more frequent walks, it’ll help you clear your head too. Only you know how much work you’ll want to put into it but one thing I’ve realised is there comes a point where it’s best to stop thinking about things and just do them.
Original post by Anonymous #1
TW - Weight loss, ED
So I am fat. Like I’m 20 years old and 19 stone, and for the most part of my life every year I would weigh the same as my age - e.g 11 stone when I was 11, 12 stone when I was 12 etc. I’ve also struggled with binge eating disorder for about 10 years!
I would like to make clear that me wanting to loose weight and get fitter is not a whim of a New Year’s resolution but something I’ve been trying to muster up the courage to do and take the first steps into doing for the last few months, after I was diagnosed with PCOS and a doctor told me to loose weight. I want to make it clear that I don’t want advice for the ins and outs of what to do here, I think that won’t be good for my eating disorder, and I have advice from my doctor and the NHS!
I do feel shamed by my parents for wanting to loose weight, as well as judged by my friends for exercising because ‘I’m in my twenties and it’s time to have fun and not worry about my health.’ One of my friends is very bodily aware and self conscious, and she struggles with many mental illnesses, so I’m worried that being around someone trying to loose weight will be triggering for her, even if it is in a healthy way. She is also very dismissive about her own health, she smokes half a pack a day, was addicted to various (non lethal) substances for a bit and is quite judgemental of people who take care of themselves and don’t drink or smoke, calling them lame and boring. I want to make a change to my lifestyle but having this shame and judgement is making it hard to find motivation and is massively on my mind about what my friend might think.
So I am fat. Like I’m 20 years old and 19 stone, and for the most part of my life every year I would weigh the same as my age - e.g 11 stone when I was 11, 12 stone when I was 12 etc. I’ve also struggled with binge eating disorder for about 10 years!
I would like to make clear that me wanting to loose weight and get fitter is not a whim of a New Year’s resolution but something I’ve been trying to muster up the courage to do and take the first steps into doing for the last few months, after I was diagnosed with PCOS and a doctor told me to loose weight. I want to make it clear that I don’t want advice for the ins and outs of what to do here, I think that won’t be good for my eating disorder, and I have advice from my doctor and the NHS!
I do feel shamed by my parents for wanting to loose weight, as well as judged by my friends for exercising because ‘I’m in my twenties and it’s time to have fun and not worry about my health.’ One of my friends is very bodily aware and self conscious, and she struggles with many mental illnesses, so I’m worried that being around someone trying to loose weight will be triggering for her, even if it is in a healthy way. She is also very dismissive about her own health, she smokes half a pack a day, was addicted to various (non lethal) substances for a bit and is quite judgemental of people who take care of themselves and don’t drink or smoke, calling them lame and boring. I want to make a change to my lifestyle but having this shame and judgement is making it hard to find motivation and is massively on my mind about what my friend might think.
Unfortunately, until you can change your mind set from what your friend thinks to "im going to do whats best for me" you will be stuck in a rut.
FYI, a doctor telling you to lose weight is very different from a dietician telling you to do it.....sadly Doctors are not fans of referring to specialists.
But back to the main crux - you need a "i dnt give a F" attitude (in a polite way), and little care should be given to what someone thinks.
Just to add, and yes you said you don't need the advice but my suggestion would be to hit the weights (no you won't get bulky its actually impossible) and it better than hours or cardio daily (not saying cardio isnt important)
Lastly, I wish you the best of luck on your journey.
Original post by Anonymous #1
TW - Weight loss, ED
So I am fat. Like I’m 20 years old and 19 stone, and for the most part of my life every year I would weigh the same as my age - e.g 11 stone when I was 11, 12 stone when I was 12 etc. I’ve also struggled with binge eating disorder for about 10 years!
I would like to make clear that me wanting to loose weight and get fitter is not a whim of a New Year’s resolution but something I’ve been trying to muster up the courage to do and take the first steps into doing for the last few months, after I was diagnosed with PCOS and a doctor told me to loose weight. I want to make it clear that I don’t want advice for the ins and outs of what to do here, I think that won’t be good for my eating disorder, and I have advice from my doctor and the NHS!
I do feel shamed by my parents for wanting to loose weight, as well as judged by my friends for exercising because ‘I’m in my twenties and it’s time to have fun and not worry about my health.’ One of my friends is very bodily aware and self conscious, and she struggles with many mental illnesses, so I’m worried that being around someone trying to loose weight will be triggering for her, even if it is in a healthy way. She is also very dismissive about her own health, she smokes half a pack a day, was addicted to various (non lethal) substances for a bit and is quite judgemental of people who take care of themselves and don’t drink or smoke, calling them lame and boring. I want to make a change to my lifestyle but having this shame and judgement is making it hard to find motivation and is massively on my mind about what my friend might think.
So I am fat. Like I’m 20 years old and 19 stone, and for the most part of my life every year I would weigh the same as my age - e.g 11 stone when I was 11, 12 stone when I was 12 etc. I’ve also struggled with binge eating disorder for about 10 years!
I would like to make clear that me wanting to loose weight and get fitter is not a whim of a New Year’s resolution but something I’ve been trying to muster up the courage to do and take the first steps into doing for the last few months, after I was diagnosed with PCOS and a doctor told me to loose weight. I want to make it clear that I don’t want advice for the ins and outs of what to do here, I think that won’t be good for my eating disorder, and I have advice from my doctor and the NHS!
I do feel shamed by my parents for wanting to loose weight, as well as judged by my friends for exercising because ‘I’m in my twenties and it’s time to have fun and not worry about my health.’ One of my friends is very bodily aware and self conscious, and she struggles with many mental illnesses, so I’m worried that being around someone trying to loose weight will be triggering for her, even if it is in a healthy way. She is also very dismissive about her own health, she smokes half a pack a day, was addicted to various (non lethal) substances for a bit and is quite judgemental of people who take care of themselves and don’t drink or smoke, calling them lame and boring. I want to make a change to my lifestyle but having this shame and judgement is making it hard to find motivation and is massively on my mind about what my friend might think.
No offence to your friend but why should she matter. Just because she ets triggered over weight doesnt mean you should hold back at being the best version of yourself. So many people will shame you for doing anything so you just have to ignore it and get through it. Motivation is hard to get, you could just start with an aim of 10,00 steps a day and eat a very heathy diet and gradually build it up so your not overwhelmed with changes all at once.
Your trying to be healthy so just go what you have to do. Your friend may not support you? Tough, doesnt sound like a great friend anyway. If you've been mustering up the courage for the past couple of months, it shows how much u want this - so why stop just because someone is going to take it to heart. That may seem harsh but its your body, if you want to bet better then you can. No one should hold you back
Original post by Anonymous #1
TW - Weight loss, ED
So I am fat. Like I’m 20 years old and 19 stone, and for the most part of my life every year I would weigh the same as my age - e.g 11 stone when I was 11, 12 stone when I was 12 etc. I’ve also struggled with binge eating disorder for about 10 years!
I would like to make clear that me wanting to loose weight and get fitter is not a whim of a New Year’s resolution but something I’ve been trying to muster up the courage to do and take the first steps into doing for the last few months, after I was diagnosed with PCOS and a doctor told me to loose weight. I want to make it clear that I don’t want advice for the ins and outs of what to do here, I think that won’t be good for my eating disorder, and I have advice from my doctor and the NHS!
I do feel shamed by my parents for wanting to loose weight, as well as judged by my friends for exercising because ‘I’m in my twenties and it’s time to have fun and not worry about my health.’ One of my friends is very bodily aware and self conscious, and she struggles with many mental illnesses, so I’m worried that being around someone trying to loose weight will be triggering for her, even if it is in a healthy way. She is also very dismissive about her own health, she smokes half a pack a day, was addicted to various (non lethal) substances for a bit and is quite judgemental of people who take care of themselves and don’t drink or smoke, calling them lame and boring. I want to make a change to my lifestyle but having this shame and judgement is making it hard to find motivation and is massively on my mind about what my friend might think.
So I am fat. Like I’m 20 years old and 19 stone, and for the most part of my life every year I would weigh the same as my age - e.g 11 stone when I was 11, 12 stone when I was 12 etc. I’ve also struggled with binge eating disorder for about 10 years!
I would like to make clear that me wanting to loose weight and get fitter is not a whim of a New Year’s resolution but something I’ve been trying to muster up the courage to do and take the first steps into doing for the last few months, after I was diagnosed with PCOS and a doctor told me to loose weight. I want to make it clear that I don’t want advice for the ins and outs of what to do here, I think that won’t be good for my eating disorder, and I have advice from my doctor and the NHS!
I do feel shamed by my parents for wanting to loose weight, as well as judged by my friends for exercising because ‘I’m in my twenties and it’s time to have fun and not worry about my health.’ One of my friends is very bodily aware and self conscious, and she struggles with many mental illnesses, so I’m worried that being around someone trying to loose weight will be triggering for her, even if it is in a healthy way. She is also very dismissive about her own health, she smokes half a pack a day, was addicted to various (non lethal) substances for a bit and is quite judgemental of people who take care of themselves and don’t drink or smoke, calling them lame and boring. I want to make a change to my lifestyle but having this shame and judgement is making it hard to find motivation and is massively on my mind about what my friend might think.
Doing some physical activity is really beneficial to your health – not just physically but mentally as well.
https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/exercise/exercise-health-benefits/
https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/exercise/exercise-guidelines/physical-activity-guidelines-for-adults-aged-19-to-64/
I think the key is to find some form of movement that you enjoy, and work at incorporating it into your daily life. It doesn't need to be an hour of sweating at the gym every day! Maybe go for a walk and do some exploring? Or whatever else takes your fancy.
It might also be helpful to work towards "goals" that aren't weight-related, especially if you think it might be triggering for your friend. Perhaps this could be doing a big local walk, or running a 5k, or improving at something else. Also – as you probably have realised – restricting yourself of food or certain foods often ends up in some sort of "binge" and a downwards spiral of negative thoughts. And severe restriction of your intake can lead to other problems so would not recommend that.
You don't have to stay around the same people for the whole of your life – you're allowed to make more friends
. If you wanted to get into running most places have some sort of friendly casual running group, good fun and good motivation. There'll probably also be nearby walking groups or communities for other sports as well.Another option is to get a dog, and that way you'll have to take it for walks twice a day! And hopefully there won't be any judgement from your friends
Also people come in different shapes and sizes, and that's ok. A person's weight does not define their health or their worth, less is not always better. I'm the heaviest I've ever been but also the healthiest and happiest.
Original post by Anonymous #1
TW - Weight loss, ED
So I am fat. Like I’m 20 years old and 19 stone, and for the most part of my life every year I would weigh the same as my age - e.g 11 stone when I was 11, 12 stone when I was 12 etc. I’ve also struggled with binge eating disorder for about 10 years!
I would like to make clear that me wanting to loose weight and get fitter is not a whim of a New Year’s resolution but something I’ve been trying to muster up the courage to do and take the first steps into doing for the last few months, after I was diagnosed with PCOS and a doctor told me to loose weight. I want to make it clear that I don’t want advice for the ins and outs of what to do here, I think that won’t be good for my eating disorder, and I have advice from my doctor and the NHS!
I do feel shamed by my parents for wanting to loose weight, as well as judged by my friends for exercising because ‘I’m in my twenties and it’s time to have fun and not worry about my health.’ One of my friends is very bodily aware and self conscious, and she struggles with many mental illnesses, so I’m worried that being around someone trying to loose weight will be triggering for her, even if it is in a healthy way. She is also very dismissive about her own health, she smokes half a pack a day, was addicted to various (non lethal) substances for a bit and is quite judgemental of people who take care of themselves and don’t drink or smoke, calling them lame and boring. I want to make a change to my lifestyle but having this shame and judgement is making it hard to find motivation and is massively on my mind about what my friend might think.
So I am fat. Like I’m 20 years old and 19 stone, and for the most part of my life every year I would weigh the same as my age - e.g 11 stone when I was 11, 12 stone when I was 12 etc. I’ve also struggled with binge eating disorder for about 10 years!
I would like to make clear that me wanting to loose weight and get fitter is not a whim of a New Year’s resolution but something I’ve been trying to muster up the courage to do and take the first steps into doing for the last few months, after I was diagnosed with PCOS and a doctor told me to loose weight. I want to make it clear that I don’t want advice for the ins and outs of what to do here, I think that won’t be good for my eating disorder, and I have advice from my doctor and the NHS!
I do feel shamed by my parents for wanting to loose weight, as well as judged by my friends for exercising because ‘I’m in my twenties and it’s time to have fun and not worry about my health.’ One of my friends is very bodily aware and self conscious, and she struggles with many mental illnesses, so I’m worried that being around someone trying to loose weight will be triggering for her, even if it is in a healthy way. She is also very dismissive about her own health, she smokes half a pack a day, was addicted to various (non lethal) substances for a bit and is quite judgemental of people who take care of themselves and don’t drink or smoke, calling them lame and boring. I want to make a change to my lifestyle but having this shame and judgement is making it hard to find motivation and is massively on my mind about what my friend might think.
ED as in erectile dysfunction or eating disorder?
Original post by Anonymous #1
TW - Weight loss, ED
So I am fat. Like I’m 20 years old and 19 stone, and for the most part of my life every year I would weigh the same as my age - e.g 11 stone when I was 11, 12 stone when I was 12 etc. I’ve also struggled with binge eating disorder for about 10 years!
I would like to make clear that me wanting to loose weight and get fitter is not a whim of a New Year’s resolution but something I’ve been trying to muster up the courage to do and take the first steps into doing for the last few months, after I was diagnosed with PCOS and a doctor told me to loose weight. I want to make it clear that I don’t want advice for the ins and outs of what to do here, I think that won’t be good for my eating disorder, and I have advice from my doctor and the NHS!
I do feel shamed by my parents for wanting to loose weight, as well as judged by my friends for exercising because ‘I’m in my twenties and it’s time to have fun and not worry about my health.’ One of my friends is very bodily aware and self conscious, and she struggles with many mental illnesses, so I’m worried that being around someone trying to loose weight will be triggering for her, even if it is in a healthy way. She is also very dismissive about her own health, she smokes half a pack a day, was addicted to various (non lethal) substances for a bit and is quite judgemental of people who take care of themselves and don’t drink or smoke, calling them lame and boring. I want to make a change to my lifestyle but having this shame and judgement is making it hard to find motivation and is massively on my mind about what my friend might think.
So I am fat. Like I’m 20 years old and 19 stone, and for the most part of my life every year I would weigh the same as my age - e.g 11 stone when I was 11, 12 stone when I was 12 etc. I’ve also struggled with binge eating disorder for about 10 years!
I would like to make clear that me wanting to loose weight and get fitter is not a whim of a New Year’s resolution but something I’ve been trying to muster up the courage to do and take the first steps into doing for the last few months, after I was diagnosed with PCOS and a doctor told me to loose weight. I want to make it clear that I don’t want advice for the ins and outs of what to do here, I think that won’t be good for my eating disorder, and I have advice from my doctor and the NHS!
I do feel shamed by my parents for wanting to loose weight, as well as judged by my friends for exercising because ‘I’m in my twenties and it’s time to have fun and not worry about my health.’ One of my friends is very bodily aware and self conscious, and she struggles with many mental illnesses, so I’m worried that being around someone trying to loose weight will be triggering for her, even if it is in a healthy way. She is also very dismissive about her own health, she smokes half a pack a day, was addicted to various (non lethal) substances for a bit and is quite judgemental of people who take care of themselves and don’t drink or smoke, calling them lame and boring. I want to make a change to my lifestyle but having this shame and judgement is making it hard to find motivation and is massively on my mind about what my friend might think.
I think recognising that weight loss could benefit your health, as long as it is well supervised and supported with appropriate professional nutritional and exercise advice, is positive.
It can be difficult to take the steps you need to benefit your health positively when you’re struggling with mental health issues. The people who surround us can influence our thinking a great deal.
It’s great that you have a strong idea of WHY you want to become healthier and I really hope you can focus on this, because it’s not always easy. You have everything to gain and I wish you all the very best. : )
Miss Teee
PS
Be wary of advice on here. Most people are students and unqualified, or too inexperienced to advise on very much. There is an awful lot of rubbish written as advice.
I’ve worked in this field for six years and am a qualified Personal Trainer. I’m also an Exercise Referral Practitioner. This means I am qualified to give advice to and train people with a BMI over 30. A PT without this qualification is not. Their insurance will not be valid, so be aware of this if you’re thinking of working with one.
Original post by Anonymous #1
TW - Weight loss, ED
So I am fat. Like I’m 20 years old and 19 stone, and for the most part of my life every year I would weigh the same as my age - e.g 11 stone when I was 11, 12 stone when I was 12 etc. I’ve also struggled with binge eating disorder for about 10 years!
I would like to make clear that me wanting to loose weight and get fitter is not a whim of a New Year’s resolution but something I’ve been trying to muster up the courage to do and take the first steps into doing for the last few months, after I was diagnosed with PCOS and a doctor told me to loose weight. I want to make it clear that I don’t want advice for the ins and outs of what to do here, I think that won’t be good for my eating disorder, and I have advice from my doctor and the NHS!
I do feel shamed by my parents for wanting to loose weight, as well as judged by my friends for exercising because ‘I’m in my twenties and it’s time to have fun and not worry about my health.’ One of my friends is very bodily aware and self conscious, and she struggles with many mental illnesses, so I’m worried that being around someone trying to loose weight will be triggering for her, even if it is in a healthy way. She is also very dismissive about her own health, she smokes half a pack a day, was addicted to various (non lethal) substances for a bit and is quite judgemental of people who take care of themselves and don’t drink or smoke, calling them lame and boring. I want to make a change to my lifestyle but having this shame and judgement is making it hard to find motivation and is massively on my mind about what my friend might think.
So I am fat. Like I’m 20 years old and 19 stone, and for the most part of my life every year I would weigh the same as my age - e.g 11 stone when I was 11, 12 stone when I was 12 etc. I’ve also struggled with binge eating disorder for about 10 years!
I would like to make clear that me wanting to loose weight and get fitter is not a whim of a New Year’s resolution but something I’ve been trying to muster up the courage to do and take the first steps into doing for the last few months, after I was diagnosed with PCOS and a doctor told me to loose weight. I want to make it clear that I don’t want advice for the ins and outs of what to do here, I think that won’t be good for my eating disorder, and I have advice from my doctor and the NHS!
I do feel shamed by my parents for wanting to loose weight, as well as judged by my friends for exercising because ‘I’m in my twenties and it’s time to have fun and not worry about my health.’ One of my friends is very bodily aware and self conscious, and she struggles with many mental illnesses, so I’m worried that being around someone trying to loose weight will be triggering for her, even if it is in a healthy way. She is also very dismissive about her own health, she smokes half a pack a day, was addicted to various (non lethal) substances for a bit and is quite judgemental of people who take care of themselves and don’t drink or smoke, calling them lame and boring. I want to make a change to my lifestyle but having this shame and judgement is making it hard to find motivation and is massively on my mind about what my friend might think.
okay first of all its been proven the more u think ur fat the fatter u will look to yourself and its not your fault if u got an eating disorder.and exersise will not make you skinnier unless u change ur mindset right now and belive that ur not fat and that u r worth it...so if u want to change Then u need to change ur mindset towards yourself first
Original post by Anonymous #1
TW - Weight loss, ED
So I am fat. Like I’m 20 years old and 19 stone, and for the most part of my life every year I would weigh the same as my age - e.g 11 stone when I was 11, 12 stone when I was 12 etc. I’ve also struggled with binge eating disorder for about 10 years!
I would like to make clear that me wanting to loose weight and get fitter is not a whim of a New Year’s resolution but something I’ve been trying to muster up the courage to do and take the first steps into doing for the last few months, after I was diagnosed with PCOS and a doctor told me to loose weight. I want to make it clear that I don’t want advice for the ins and outs of what to do here, I think that won’t be good for my eating disorder, and I have advice from my doctor and the NHS!
I do feel shamed by my parents for wanting to loose weight, as well as judged by my friends for exercising because ‘I’m in my twenties and it’s time to have fun and not worry about my health.’ One of my friends is very bodily aware and self conscious, and she struggles with many mental illnesses, so I’m worried that being around someone trying to loose weight will be triggering for her, even if it is in a healthy way. She is also very dismissive about her own health, she smokes half a pack a day, was addicted to various (non lethal) substances for a bit and is quite judgemental of people who take care of themselves and don’t drink or smoke, calling them lame and boring. I want to make a change to my lifestyle but having this shame and judgement is making it hard to find motivation and is massively on my mind about what my friend might think.
So I am fat. Like I’m 20 years old and 19 stone, and for the most part of my life every year I would weigh the same as my age - e.g 11 stone when I was 11, 12 stone when I was 12 etc. I’ve also struggled with binge eating disorder for about 10 years!
I would like to make clear that me wanting to loose weight and get fitter is not a whim of a New Year’s resolution but something I’ve been trying to muster up the courage to do and take the first steps into doing for the last few months, after I was diagnosed with PCOS and a doctor told me to loose weight. I want to make it clear that I don’t want advice for the ins and outs of what to do here, I think that won’t be good for my eating disorder, and I have advice from my doctor and the NHS!
I do feel shamed by my parents for wanting to loose weight, as well as judged by my friends for exercising because ‘I’m in my twenties and it’s time to have fun and not worry about my health.’ One of my friends is very bodily aware and self conscious, and she struggles with many mental illnesses, so I’m worried that being around someone trying to loose weight will be triggering for her, even if it is in a healthy way. She is also very dismissive about her own health, she smokes half a pack a day, was addicted to various (non lethal) substances for a bit and is quite judgemental of people who take care of themselves and don’t drink or smoke, calling them lame and boring. I want to make a change to my lifestyle but having this shame and judgement is making it hard to find motivation and is massively on my mind about what my friend might think.
also is ur friend on here?the one who smokes?...cuz by what u put i think shes dealing with more than shes letting on
Original post by Anonymous #3
ED as in erectile dysfunction or eating disorder?
PCOS is the clue in this post…Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, so erectile dysfunction unlikely.
Original post by MissTeee
PCOS is the clue in this post…Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, so erectile dysfunction unlikely.
ah....soz
Original post by anonymous
TW - Weight loss, ED
So I am fat. Like I’m 20 years old and 19 stone, and for the most part of my life every year I would weigh the same as my age - e.g 11 stone when I was 11, 12 stone when I was 12 etc. I’ve also struggled with binge eating disorder for about 10 years!
I would like to make clear that me wanting to loose weight and get fitter is not a whim of a New Year’s resolution but something I’ve been trying to muster up the courage to do and take the first steps into doing for the last few months, after I was diagnosed with PCOS and a doctor told me to loose weight. I want to make it clear that I don’t want advice for the ins and outs of what to do here, I think that won’t be good for my eating disorder, and I have advice from my doctor and the NHS!
I do feel shamed by my parents for wanting to loose weight, as well as judged by my friends for exercising because ‘I’m in my twenties and it’s time to have fun and not worry about my health.’ One of my friends is very bodily aware and self conscious, and she struggles with many mental illnesses, so I’m worried that being around someone trying to loose weight will be triggering for her, even if it is in a healthy way. She is also very dismissive about her own health, she smokes half a pack a day, was addicted to various (non lethal) substances for a bit and is quite judgemental of people who take care of themselves and don’t drink or smoke, calling them lame and boring. I want to make a change to my lifestyle but having this shame and judgement is making it hard to find motivation and is massively on my mind about what my friend might think.
So I am fat. Like I’m 20 years old and 19 stone, and for the most part of my life every year I would weigh the same as my age - e.g 11 stone when I was 11, 12 stone when I was 12 etc. I’ve also struggled with binge eating disorder for about 10 years!
I would like to make clear that me wanting to loose weight and get fitter is not a whim of a New Year’s resolution but something I’ve been trying to muster up the courage to do and take the first steps into doing for the last few months, after I was diagnosed with PCOS and a doctor told me to loose weight. I want to make it clear that I don’t want advice for the ins and outs of what to do here, I think that won’t be good for my eating disorder, and I have advice from my doctor and the NHS!
I do feel shamed by my parents for wanting to loose weight, as well as judged by my friends for exercising because ‘I’m in my twenties and it’s time to have fun and not worry about my health.’ One of my friends is very bodily aware and self conscious, and she struggles with many mental illnesses, so I’m worried that being around someone trying to loose weight will be triggering for her, even if it is in a healthy way. She is also very dismissive about her own health, she smokes half a pack a day, was addicted to various (non lethal) substances for a bit and is quite judgemental of people who take care of themselves and don’t drink or smoke, calling them lame and boring. I want to make a change to my lifestyle but having this shame and judgement is making it hard to find motivation and is massively on my mind about what my friend might think.
I am horrified that your parents are shaming you for wanting to lose weight and that your friend ( who has some issues herself) is also not being helpful.
My case is different ( I am 60 years old) and back in 2011 I was diagnosed with diabetes type 2. I was mortified when my son’s friend from primary school asked me if I was pregnant! I had to make all kinds of changes to my lifestyle- I mostly only drink water, do not drink alcohol and do not have snacks ( I used to work in a shop, and drink a bottle of lucozade every day ( filled with sugar) , a packet of crisps, and a bar of chocolate. It is so difficult if those products are sitting there, virtually saying “eat me!” It was also difficult as I was a single mum and there was nobody to look after my kids whilst I went to the gym.
Then they both finished their education and are independent. That is when I took the plunge and decided to join a gym. I was doubtful it would work at first, and yes weight loss is frustratingly slow. However, after a few months, my clothes ( particularly trousers) started dropping off me. I have had to buy new ones ( possibly the only downside). Every week, I see the shape of my stomach changing. Now, my mum had an apple shaped stomach, which I inherited). She would laugh at me when I joined a gym in my 20s, and said my stomach would never go down. She ate loads of sweets and chocolates and never exercised, but died at the age of 68. I am now proving her wrong, even though my stomach will never be completely flat. I suffer less from backache and indigestion and look much better in my clothes! Happily, within a month of going to the gym, my blood test revealed I am now pre diabetic. Now, five months later and a stone lighter, I can’t wait for my blood test, as it may now show I am diabetes free and can come off the medication.
Words cannot express how proud I am of your desire to exercise, despite the taunts of those who should be encouraging you. If you can afford to visit a gym and have enough time, I would urge you to go. As they said when I joined the gym “you are investing in yourself”
Honestly my mum is the type of person who would still be laughing at me, despite my weight loss success.
You have to be like Taylor swift and “shake it off” cos the haters are gonna hate, whatever you do, and they are not worth it!
(edited 9 months ago)
Original post by Dunnig Kruger
Are you a faddy eater? Or are you happy to eat just about anything, as long as it's ripe, fresh and properly prepared?
It's OK if you don't like mushy boiled cabbage, for instance, as that's what I would call improperly prepared compared to eating raw sliced cabbage in a delicious crunchy salad.
What exactly did you eat and drink yesterday, including how much of each?
Would I be right in guessing that you like fried or roasted chicken?
For the binge eating, would it help if we could come up with stuff that you could binge on that would reduce inflammation within your body and be OK from a blood sugar / insulin spike point of view? Why fight against binge eating when you can use it to flood your body with anti-oxidants and phytonutrients? IE accept that binge eating is a part of who and what you are and channel into a force for good (or neutrality) in your life.
Are you allergic to any foods?
PCOS:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcT4K5KkTDE
If it helps with your mentally ill friend, tell her you're trying an experiment to address your PCOS.
You don't need to tell her that this experiment may well have beneficial effects on your weight, long term health and life expectancy.
Many people are self destructive - eg your friend. You don't have to be.
One way of looking at the PCOS is that it's the canary in the coalmine. The early warning sign that something's not right.
It's OK if you don't like mushy boiled cabbage, for instance, as that's what I would call improperly prepared compared to eating raw sliced cabbage in a delicious crunchy salad.
What exactly did you eat and drink yesterday, including how much of each?
Would I be right in guessing that you like fried or roasted chicken?
For the binge eating, would it help if we could come up with stuff that you could binge on that would reduce inflammation within your body and be OK from a blood sugar / insulin spike point of view? Why fight against binge eating when you can use it to flood your body with anti-oxidants and phytonutrients? IE accept that binge eating is a part of who and what you are and channel into a force for good (or neutrality) in your life.
Are you allergic to any foods?
PCOS:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcT4K5KkTDE
If it helps with your mentally ill friend, tell her you're trying an experiment to address your PCOS.
You don't need to tell her that this experiment may well have beneficial effects on your weight, long term health and life expectancy.
Many people are self destructive - eg your friend. You don't have to be.
One way of looking at the PCOS is that it's the canary in the coalmine. The early warning sign that something's not right.
I am not a fan of the friend either, and I would not be worried about offending her. It is the op’s life, and she is much more positive than the people around her
Original post by Oxford Mum
I am horrified that your parents are shaming you for wanting to lose weight and that your friend ( who has some issues herself) is also not being helpful.
My case is different ( I am 60 years old) and back in 2011 I was diagnosed with diabetes type 2. I was mortified when my son’s friend from primary school asked me if I was pregnant! I had to make all kinds of changes to my lifestyle- I mostly only drink water, do not drink alcohol and do not have snacks ( I used to work in a shop, and drink a bottle of lucozade every day ( filled with sugar) , a packet of crisps, and a bar of chocolate. It is so difficult if those products are sitting there, virtually saying “eat me!” It was also difficult as I was a single mum and there was nobody to look after my kids whilst I went to the gym.
Then they both finished their education and are independent. That is when I took the plunge and decided to join a gym. I was doubtful it would work at first, and yes weight loss is frustratingly slow. However, after a few months, my clothes ( particularly trousers) started dropping off me. I have had to buy new ones ( possibly the only downside). Every week, I see the shape of my stomach changing. Now, my mum had an apple shaped stomach, which I inherited). She would laugh at me when I joined a gym in my 20s, and said my stomach would never go down. She ate loads of sweets and chocolates and never exercised, but died at the age of 68. I am now proving her wrong, even though my stomach will never be completely flat. I suffer less from backache and indigestion and look much better in my clothes! Happily, within a month of going to the gym, my blood test revealed I am now pre diabetic. Now, five months later and a stone lighter, I can’t wait for my blood test, as it may now show I am diabetes free and can come off the medication.
Words cannot express how proud I am of your desire to exercise, despite the taunts of those who should be encouraging you. If you can afford to visit a gym and have enough time, I would urge you to go. As they said when I joined the gym “you are investing in yourself”
Honestly my mum is the type of person who would still be laughing at me, despite my weight loss success.
You have to be like Taylor swift and “shake it off” cos the haters are gonna hate, whatever you do, and they are not worth it!
My case is different ( I am 60 years old) and back in 2011 I was diagnosed with diabetes type 2. I was mortified when my son’s friend from primary school asked me if I was pregnant! I had to make all kinds of changes to my lifestyle- I mostly only drink water, do not drink alcohol and do not have snacks ( I used to work in a shop, and drink a bottle of lucozade every day ( filled with sugar) , a packet of crisps, and a bar of chocolate. It is so difficult if those products are sitting there, virtually saying “eat me!” It was also difficult as I was a single mum and there was nobody to look after my kids whilst I went to the gym.
Then they both finished their education and are independent. That is when I took the plunge and decided to join a gym. I was doubtful it would work at first, and yes weight loss is frustratingly slow. However, after a few months, my clothes ( particularly trousers) started dropping off me. I have had to buy new ones ( possibly the only downside). Every week, I see the shape of my stomach changing. Now, my mum had an apple shaped stomach, which I inherited). She would laugh at me when I joined a gym in my 20s, and said my stomach would never go down. She ate loads of sweets and chocolates and never exercised, but died at the age of 68. I am now proving her wrong, even though my stomach will never be completely flat. I suffer less from backache and indigestion and look much better in my clothes! Happily, within a month of going to the gym, my blood test revealed I am now pre diabetic. Now, five months later and a stone lighter, I can’t wait for my blood test, as it may now show I am diabetes free and can come off the medication.
Words cannot express how proud I am of your desire to exercise, despite the taunts of those who should be encouraging you. If you can afford to visit a gym and have enough time, I would urge you to go. As they said when I joined the gym “you are investing in yourself”
Honestly my mum is the type of person who would still be laughing at me, despite my weight loss success.
You have to be like Taylor swift and “shake it off” cos the haters are gonna hate, whatever you do, and they are not worth it!
Love this!!
Original post by MissTeee
Love this!!
I do love the personal trainers at my gym, they keep us all going
You are appreciated
Original post by oxford mum
I do love the personal trainers at my gym, they keep us all going
You are appreciated
You are appreciated
There’s nothing a trainer loves more than someone who wants help to improve their health, puts the work in and gets the results. It’s why I do it. I won’t work with the ‘beach body ready’ types.
x
(edited 9 months ago)
Original post by MissTeee
There’s nothing a trainer loves more than someone who wants help to improve their health, puts the work in and gets the results. It’s why I do it. I won’t work the ‘beach body ready’ types.
x
x
Excellent philosophy
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