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Depression Society MKVI
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Original post by Sabertooth
Aw, I'm watching the NHL all star game and the Sedins are wearing tshirts with "http://mindcheck.ca/" on them. It's a site educating people about mental illness.
Just thought that was awesome that mental illness was getting some positive airtime.
Just thought that was awesome that mental illness was getting some positive airtime.
Aw, that's really cool
I'm back at uni now, not too thrilled about it to be honest, but never mind.
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Original post by bullettheory
I'm back at uni now, not too thrilled about it to be honest, but never mind.
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You're not a bad person.
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I should really keep taking my meds. I skip my meds, eat like a ****er, change too quickly and then panic and feel like doing something stupid. How i've made it this far through uni i'll never know.
Now I feel really sick and even ****tier than before. 
Original post by kiss_me_now9
Now I feel really sick and even ****tier than before.
Back t uni this week. Evern week, I feel the same and just frightened to go back to lectures. This particular lecturer makes me so uncomfortable. I am on edge all the time in her lecture/seminar.
done half the prep work, got to know answer the questions...
done half the prep work, got to know answer the questions...
Original post by kiss_me_now9
Now I feel really sick and even ****tier than before.
*hugs
has anything happened honey?
Wow everything in my life seems mundane and like "what are you complaining about" when you read other people's stories..
I've been trying to be a really supportive girlfriend to my LDR relationship this past week where it's been tough at work. But just had a long conversation where apparently I've been micro-managing, has got me really down when it's been a horrible week anyway. Don't know why I'm reacting so badly- think it's because I thought I was doing well and I've just been told I have been annoying. Just scared I'm going to ruin everything.
I've been trying to be a really supportive girlfriend to my LDR relationship this past week where it's been tough at work. But just had a long conversation where apparently I've been micro-managing, has got me really down when it's been a horrible week anyway. Don't know why I'm reacting so badly- think it's because I thought I was doing well and I've just been told I have been annoying. Just scared I'm going to ruin everything.
Original post by ViceVersa
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I'm so sorry for you, so sad for you. But it's good you are getting help. I can't believe your mum behaved the way she did, she should be ashmed of herself. But then again some parents are like that - they want to sweep everything under the carpet and play happy families.
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Original post by ViceVersa
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I'm sorry I can't respond any better than this but
If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm alway here.(edited 12 years ago)
Original post by ViceVersa
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How has your family reacted to you attempting suicide?
Also you don't have to forgive....you shouldn't be forced into it. I'm not a forgiving person either but I'm not bitter or resentful.
Original post by ViceVersa 
Oh sweetheart. You don't need to apologise for anything or feel embarrassed at all. We're all just glad you're okay, okay?
Keele is an awesome uni (I went there for a year and my girlfriend is a PhD at Keele so I still spend a lot of time there) so yay for your interview offer! I'm sure you'll be great
(edited 12 years ago)
Original post by superwolf
I'd make an appointment with your doctor and stress how bad you're feeling. Counsellors can be helpful, but a doctor is in a better position to refer you on to get more help.
I'd make an appointment with your doctor and stress how bad you're feeling. Counsellors can be helpful, but a doctor is in a better position to refer you on to get more help.It was just so hard to say all of that stuff hoping she could point me towards something but there was nothing. The appointment ended and it was just 'back to your gp for you'. I've been to him a thousand times and and last time I just felt ashamed telling him I wanted to OD. Ugh.
He sent me for CBT which I'm still waiting on (they said start of January but still nothing) and counselling too but other than that I don't think he really knows how to respond to me at all
Original post by bullettheory
Could You make an emergency appointment with your GP?
Or, if you are in MH services, could you call the crisis team?
Or, if you are in MH services, could you call the crisis team?
Made an appointment with a GP tomorrow. Not my usual one but I'm out of medication and desperate and they were the only one to have an appointment slot free.
I've seen her before but she's not who usually looks after me. Just hope I can speak
Original post by Sabertooth
Things are getting worse again. I was in the supermarket yesterday and they were announcing stuff about me. The fact that the person I was with didn't react to this at all kind of suggests it wasn't real but it's bad either way, this only happens when things are getting worse. Also when I was in town everyone was staring at me again and laughing, again I'm not so sure how real this is but I suspect it may not be. People were following me when I went for a walk and on the radio they were laughing about my attempts to get fit this morning. This isn't real, right?
What I don't get is why this is happening. I'm still taking the drugs just as I'm meant to (as much as I hate them). I am stressed though, I'm trying not to show it but all these essays are getting to me, I can't think properly anymore, I try and argue on TSR and I do a ****ty job of it, thoughts are getting harder and harder to follow through. I should drop out, I'm doing a lousy job of the essays anyway not to mention how bad my dissertation is going to be. I could get a job in mcdonald's, free food
But then being around people forcefully every day probably wouldn't go down too well. Argh I dunno what to do.
What I don't get is why this is happening. I'm still taking the drugs just as I'm meant to (as much as I hate them). I am stressed though, I'm trying not to show it but all these essays are getting to me, I can't think properly anymore, I try and argue on TSR and I do a ****ty job of it, thoughts are getting harder and harder to follow through. I should drop out, I'm doing a lousy job of the essays anyway not to mention how bad my dissertation is going to be. I could get a job in mcdonald's, free food
But then being around people forcefully every day probably wouldn't go down too well. Argh I dunno what to do.Definitely not real (and good that you realise this), but also bad that this is happening even when you're on meds.
Have you noticed that there seems to be a pattern of you starting on meds, which do their job for a while but then you seem to get somehow resistant? I don't know what you could do about that (would rotating between two or three different drugs help any, or would you just get a never ending cycle of side-effects?), but if you agree then I'd definitely mention it to the psychiatrist whenever you finally get to meet them (two weeks til I see mines 
) You can still do well on your course - you're definitely intelligent enough, you just need to find ways of working around the things holding you back. I'm finding that studying with somebody else around is helping me do the work more than I was, so maybe that or something else might help you. Also, if you haven't already you should tell your uni that you're struggling, better for them to know so they can help/make allowances.Original post by chopsticks
Hey everyone
I'm never usually into this sort of stuff online - usually I just read stuff rather than posting but I need to get something off my chest. I've been having counselling/CBT/seeing a psych for about two years now (I'm 17 now) and in the last session a couple of days ago it's basically boiled down to apparently me "not accepting that you are like this" and therefore not being able to move on. I've been on fluoxetine and sertraline (for social anxiety and anxiety symptoms respectively) and fluoxetine worked for a few months, I lost weight and then it stopped and I started comfort eating my anxiety away again. I keep talking in my therapy sessions about the time when I was happy on these meds and my therapist thinks that it was everything I was doing that was making me happy, not the meds, whereas I thought the meds were working allowing me to do stuff (have a job, exercise, socialise, the usual stuff you have to do to battle with depression). I know that without exercising etc I'm worse off, but I just keep getting worse nevertheless, and her solution was for me to do more exercise, like 4-5 times a week. I just feel like I've lost hope for the future a bit - I know that sometimes I'm happy but I'm having trouble seeing when I actually will be happy when the only thing that can help me now is "accepting you are like this and that there are no answers and no medication for you" and "exercising, socialising, keeping going to college and not having a day off about once a week as I usually do, and waking up at the same time every day" (as it gets too stressful as I have sleep issues as well.)
I've just lost hope and I think I need to be hospitalised a bit because all of these symptoms long term have worn me down, and now with the lack of hope for the future because I'm "not able to accept that there is nothing you can do" is really getting to me, not like I want to kill myself which is what usually people are put there for, but it just feels like a never ending cycle. On the other hand, my therapist said that session that she wasn't sure if I needed these sessions any more at all, and started spacing them out again a bit more which always happens when they try to discharge you from outpatient therapy. Sometimes she's really supportive and helpful, but now I feel like I've hit a dead end, where no one thinks anything is wrong with me and I don't know if there's enough wrong to go to hospital, I just feel like a total attention seeker because I don't want to die, I just feel so worn down like there's no escape and I can't really even think properly. The most stupid thing of all is that I have an exam Wednesday morning so even if I go to hospital I want to get the exam over with first so I can finish this half of A2 and get out to finish the last half of A2 and go to uni, as I won't be able to stand living here for another year. This is probably the main reason that I think that I'm not ill enough to go to hospital - if I can wait then surely it's not that bad?
I don't even know what I'm trying to say here xD
I'm never usually into this sort of stuff online - usually I just read stuff rather than posting but I need to get something off my chest. I've been having counselling/CBT/seeing a psych for about two years now (I'm 17 now) and in the last session a couple of days ago it's basically boiled down to apparently me "not accepting that you are like this" and therefore not being able to move on. I've been on fluoxetine and sertraline (for social anxiety and anxiety symptoms respectively) and fluoxetine worked for a few months, I lost weight and then it stopped and I started comfort eating my anxiety away again. I keep talking in my therapy sessions about the time when I was happy on these meds and my therapist thinks that it was everything I was doing that was making me happy, not the meds, whereas I thought the meds were working allowing me to do stuff (have a job, exercise, socialise, the usual stuff you have to do to battle with depression). I know that without exercising etc I'm worse off, but I just keep getting worse nevertheless, and her solution was for me to do more exercise, like 4-5 times a week. I just feel like I've lost hope for the future a bit - I know that sometimes I'm happy but I'm having trouble seeing when I actually will be happy when the only thing that can help me now is "accepting you are like this and that there are no answers and no medication for you" and "exercising, socialising, keeping going to college and not having a day off about once a week as I usually do, and waking up at the same time every day" (as it gets too stressful as I have sleep issues as well.)
I've just lost hope and I think I need to be hospitalised a bit because all of these symptoms long term have worn me down, and now with the lack of hope for the future because I'm "not able to accept that there is nothing you can do" is really getting to me, not like I want to kill myself which is what usually people are put there for, but it just feels like a never ending cycle. On the other hand, my therapist said that session that she wasn't sure if I needed these sessions any more at all, and started spacing them out again a bit more which always happens when they try to discharge you from outpatient therapy. Sometimes she's really supportive and helpful, but now I feel like I've hit a dead end, where no one thinks anything is wrong with me and I don't know if there's enough wrong to go to hospital, I just feel like a total attention seeker because I don't want to die, I just feel so worn down like there's no escape and I can't really even think properly. The most stupid thing of all is that I have an exam Wednesday morning so even if I go to hospital I want to get the exam over with first so I can finish this half of A2 and get out to finish the last half of A2 and go to uni, as I won't be able to stand living here for another year. This is probably the main reason that I think that I'm not ill enough to go to hospital - if I can wait then surely it's not that bad?
I don't even know what I'm trying to say here xD
Mmm, it can be hard to know if you feel better cos you're doing stuff, or doing stuff because you feel better. I reckon it's probably a bit of both (usually is for me at least), but with the meds working it gave you a chance of breaking out of the cycle.
Having been in hospital for depression myself, I really wouldn't recommend it as anything but a last resort. The one I was in didn't offer me any therapy or counselling whatsoever (and I was in for two months), all they did was keep me from killing myself until my new meds kicked in and they decided I was safe to release). Their emphasis is very much on just stopping you from doing anything to yourself/others until you get a bit better, rather than actually making you properly better. I don't think it's so much a matter of your not being ill enough for hospital, as that it just isn't the appropriate form of treatment for you. If you feel like you've reached a dead end, is it possible that seeing a different therapist might help? Maybe you've just gone as far as you can with the current one.
Original post by Zee Zee
Your time abroad sounds fun!
I would love to go the South America for Spanish but the idea of being so far away just puts me off... I have never been to Spain even though I have been studying Spanish since Year 8 so that is a bigger jump than going nowhere!
Hopefully I will make the best of it
.
I would love to go the South America for Spanish but the idea of being so far away just puts me off... I have never been to Spain even though I have been studying Spanish since Year 8 so that is a bigger jump than going nowhere!
Hopefully I will make the best of it
.It was pretty damn awesome.
Up to you where you go, but Chile is an amazing country to live in, as I expect are plenty of other places in Latin America. The distance can be a downside for some people though (personally I was happy to be as far away from Scotland as I possibly could be
), and also means flights are often pretty expensive (if you're interested though then you could check out how much Iberia is charging to fly over from Spain). Living is cheaper over there than in Spain though, plus you get some really cool culture/food/accents/countryside (once got stoned on top of a volcano )/everything. As you might be able to tell, I would really like to go back. 
Spain can be a lot of fun too though - personally I liked Barcelona a lot, as there's plenty to do, some pretty cool areas, and a lot of seriously weird architecture (check out Gaudi), but there are a whole ton of other places that seem really interesting that I'm sure you could have a great time living in as well. Plus if you went to Spain then it would be easier for you/your family to visit each other, and might seem a little safer for you than going off to some far-flung place in the Americas...
I know it's easy to worry about these things, especially if you're not so experienced with travelling/living abroad (although there's only one way to get experienced
), but trust me even with the additional setback of depression it's still perfectly possible to have a really amazing time. If there's anything else I can help with (or if you just want to hear me blabbing about how awesome every country that isn't the UK is
) then feel free to ask on here or pm me. Original post by ViceVersa
Finally done Parts of this is really triggering/may trigger, so please don't read in case you get triggered, and I will warn/double-spoiler the bits that are worse.
Parts of this is really triggering/may trigger, so please don't read in case you get triggered, and I will warn/double-spoiler the bits that are worse.Spoiler
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Original post by ParadoxSocks
It was just so hard to say all of that stuff hoping she could point me towards something but there was nothing. The appointment ended and it was just 'back to your gp for you'. I've been to him a thousand times and and last time I just felt ashamed telling him I wanted to OD. Ugh.
He sent me for CBT which I'm still waiting on (they said start of January but still nothing) and counselling too but other than that I don't think he really knows how to respond to me at all
Made an appointment with a GP tomorrow. Not my usual one but I'm out of medication and desperate and they were the only one to have an appointment slot free.
I've seen her before but she's not who usually looks after me. Just hope I can speak
He sent me for CBT which I'm still waiting on (they said start of January but still nothing) and counselling too but other than that I don't think he really knows how to respond to me at all
Made an appointment with a GP tomorrow. Not my usual one but I'm out of medication and desperate and they were the only one to have an appointment slot free.
I've seen her before but she's not who usually looks after me. Just hope I can speak
Yeah, I can see why that wouldn't really seem like it's enough... At least your GP seems willing to refer you on to people though - do you think asking to see a psychiatrist might help? They might be able to point you in a better direction, and hopefully take how you've been feeling seriously.
Hope the appointment goes well.
Original post by kerily
Well, I had a ****ty day.
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(edited 12 years ago)
I never thought i would be like the person i am now i used to look at people like me and feel sorry for them i hate everything, i'm so sick and tired. I wish i was anyone else right now
i used to look at people like me and feel sorry for them i hate everything, i'm so sick and tired. I wish i was anyone else right nowOriginal post by superwolf
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I do indeed have friends
A definite positive is that this week has been really non-lonely (so non-lonely I'm really behind on work 
) and I do have people locally that I can hang out with, which is really nice.Asexuality is... I don't know. It's rubbish, basically. There's a big online asexual community, but I tend to think 'if I ignore it, it'll go away!' which is just NOT sensible or constructive, but there we go
I just want to be able to click my fingers and it all goes away, whenever it gets so bad I just think that there has to be some sort of escape button, but there never is
