Depression Society MKVI

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In hospital they forced me to take fortisips.

Barely slept at all and have my counselling appointment in an hour. Scared about what I'll tell them. Scared about how I feel at the moment. I have an exam at 4 and I can't do it. It's all happening again.

Getting even slower. Got a bit distracted. Oops.

Ah right.
Well it sounds like a good reason to me, sure it will be fine. Hmm maybe see how you feel about it nearer the time?

About your OCD I used to use this site - http://www.ocduk.org/adviceline

I know what you mean about the cycles of depression. If you feel so bad that you think you'll 'do something' then please go to A&E. Go back to your GP and tell her how bad you're feeling and that you need urgent intervention. I'm sorry I can't be of more help, but I'm more than willing to talk/listen to you.

There is a thread for OCD here (http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=1874216), posting might help

I hope I am able to as well, my dissertation is worth like a third of my degree so really it is all down to how I do on that :/

Completely get what you mean with the people thing, whenever I spend time with my housemates and their friends I am always just sat on the outside kind of watching them all chat and get on, and I just don't understand how it is so easy for them wish we could find it that easy to talk to people!

I have only really had 2 jobs, one was in a restaurant and I wasn't there for long because the boss was horrible to us all and the second one I only got because it is where my mum works. So really I am quite lucky, I still do random work for them and it is quite well paid. Have always had issues with getting a job though because back home I live in a really small town in the country so really not many jobs at all around. Might be easier getting a job when you go to uni? specially if you go to one in a city!

But yer you shouldn't be posting on here you should be off enjoying the wedding hope you have fun hun

Thank you for getting back to me I didn't know there was an OCD thread for the Student Room; I'll go check it out I'll check out the link for that other site, too - thank you for posting it! And yes, I'll go back to the doctor's this week, or talk to someone in Student Support. I think I just need a bit of guidance at the moment...

Decided I'm not gonna go on Facebook for a while. Every time I go on it just makes me feel really sad.

Hopefully it will help you a bit I can kind of relate, it's rubbish seeing other people so happy. I'm not saying that they shouldn't be happy, I mean in a jealous kind of way. That's how it is for me anyway.

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self-harm stuff

Thank you I understand you, I can get quite jealous over others. I see others and I don't think of the negative things about them or bad things going on in their lives. I see good things, like attractiveness, how fun their lives seem to be, how little awkwardness and how much confidence they seem to have.

Slow and steady wins the race!

My teacher rarely checks anyway, I'll just have to hope he doesn't pick mine to show to the rest of the class. I will, thinking about changing to geography. Although saying that, I don't enjoy any subjects anymore so I'm not sure what to do about any of them.

Suicide references

I'm the same. I see all the flaws in myself but can only see good in other people.

Haven't done any work for ages now.

That's good then. Hopefully that will change back sometime.

That's an excellent way of putting it. Although for me, sometimes the negatives in people appear more than the positives. For instance, I have two friends who are nice except when they're around each other or when they're drunk, then they get extremely bitchy and make me feel horrible. I know they're nice people when alone, but I never think about that.

I can't talk about parents or anything 'cos they're dead but I can kind of equate that to my relationship my sister (she's my only real family).

I love her so much but haven't seen or spoken to her for a year. Why? Because I have my mental health issues that I struggle with and don't want to be a trigger for her as she has a history of self-harm and eating disorder. She got better, but I have never been able to move on. Pretty crappy and pathetic of me.

And she found me via the Salvation Army after we lost contact as teenagers and went through about 10 years without knowing how one another was or even alive.

I just feel so bad and guilty about it all the time. But it hurts me to see her. I don't want to make her feel bad by talking to her about things and triggering her illness. She's got two lovely kids to take care of that need a normal mum. She probably feels guilty that I don't feel able to talk to her. So we are both stuck in this never-ending cycle of guilt. I just wish I could be a normal brother.

So confused...

Well if they're being directly unpleasant to you then it's understandable if you feel that way.

Are you taking regular breaks? It's so easy to burn yourself out if you're doing more than you can handle. Perhaps stop and finish it in the morning?

There are a few things that i'm not happy with, and sometimes drag my mood down:

1. Thinking about what my best friend does and how much fun she has. This is number one for me. Especially thinking about the disco thing she is going to have in her school in July, where another nearby girls school and two nearby boys schools are invited. In comparison, my school doesn't even have a small party at the end of the year . I am actually thinking about doing A2 Psychology at her school, partly because of this, and partly because the standard of teaching seems higher. They are going to finish the whole AS syllabus in the week starting tomorrow, whereas my teachers have only just started the last topic.

2.When anyone talks about drinking or going to a party.

3. (suicide reference)


4. My psychiatrist just seems reluctant do diagnose me with depression. Looking at symptoms, it is so obviously clear that I have it, but she keeps thinking it is due to my autism.


Have social services coming around tomorrow too .

How are you feeling today?

Just realised I've not given you a hug yet.

Yeah, they can be quite bitchy. One time we were in the pub and I left early because they'd just gotten really nasty. Another time I got a bit of crap from some of my mates for considering not going out to the pub with them. One of them was going through a rough patch and my mate said he'd never forgive me if I didn't go. It's not that I was being rude, but I was having a day when I felt that if they were nasty to me as usual, it'd trigger more bad thoughts.

Yeah I just took a break at a part that didn't look very nice and since I've been kind of scared to go back to it even though I haven't even read it properly yet. I always do this, keep putting things off as if that's going to make things better.
Might do that, was hoping to not leave myself much to do tomorrow, but need to be in uni at 9 so can't stay up late or I won't be able to get up.
Also just realised my first exam (of the ones I know) is the day after my driving test which is in my hometown. I thought the date of my driving test would still be in the holidays, but it's not. Oh dear, not ideal.